-- Southern Knowledge --


  • Only a Southerner can show, or point out to you, the general direction of "yonder".

  • Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back d'rectly".

  • All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
        They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

  • Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble
        is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (sweet iced tea optional)

  • Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece".
        They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

  • No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going
        to make a turn.

  • A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

  • A Southerner knows that when you say "crack" the window, you mean
        open the window up (in the house) or roll it down (in the car).

  • In the South, "y'all" is singular....  "all y'all" is plural.

  • And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the
        freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart", and go your own way. (unless you're from Dallas)


Notice:
Due to the climate of political correctness now prevailing in America; Mississippians, Tennesseans, Georgians, Arkansans, Louisianians, Alabamians, North Carolinians, and South Carolinians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES" or "REDNECKS".

You must now refer to us as SOUTHERN-AMERICANS.
Thank you!
Now if you'll excuse me, I got possums to fry...

Some things mean more spoken in a Southern Drawl
  • "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

  • "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."

  • "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

  • "Have a cup of coffee. It's already been saucered and blowed."

  • "She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm."

  • "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."

  • "My cow died last night so I don't need your bull."

  • "Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining."

  • "He's as country as cornflakes."

  • "This is gooder'n grits."

  • "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

  • "I'm just about as welcome at my in-laws as a hair in a biscuit."

  • "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."

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