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Name: Kristine Z Kochanski
Age: Approx. 25
Type: Female Human
Birthday/Birthplace: The Gorbles, Glasgow. (The trendy part)
Relations: Mother, Father and brother Moose.
Marital Status: Single.
Rank: Navigation Officer
Likes: Cottage Cheese with Pineapple Chunks
Dislikes: Being on a ship without Cottage cheese, pipes that scwilloocal when they should nurike and chilled trainers
Skills: Can read the A-Z of the Universe (including one way streets), can fly Starbug properly and actually understands space jargon.
Hero's: Her Dave!
First Love: Trumper, Her pony!
Alter Egos: None as Yet!
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FAMILY
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Kristine Kochanski has an archaeologist father and a mother in Advertising. She also has a brother called Moose.
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FRIENDS
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Holly - The ship's computer
Lister - Ex-Boyfriend, Kinda!
Kryten - The mechanoid with a 'Problem'.
Cat - The guy who thinks he's king of cool!
Rimmer - The stupid guy.
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Kristine Kochanski was brought up in the Gorbals "the trendiest part of Glasgow".
Daughter of an archaeologist father and a mother in Advertising. They were a wealthy
parents but also busy ones, possibly not having the time to look after her brother
Moose and herself. Consequently the young Kristine was given a pony named Trumper
and given the best education possible - eleven years at Cyber School. She was taught by
Artificial Reality teachers such as Mr Chips for Maths; Miss Jean Brodie for English;
Ghengis Khan and Disraeli for history and William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens
for Literature. Because of her parents hectic lifestyle she remained at the school
throughout the holidays, where she had an artificial version of her family, pony and
house.
When she left at 18 she found it difficult to cope with reality and finding out that the
world did not revolve around her, she "kind of went off the rails". But this wasn't
smoking the odd cigarette or talking in the library - she became a Retro Punk.
Having always been concerned about the way she looks and her diet, she took it pretty
badly in 'Duct Soup' when she had no decent clothes to wear, no bath (she hates
showers), no cottage cheese with pineapple chunks, no low fat yogurts and worst of
all....no lipstick. The fear of having no make-up stemmed from when her brother used
to hold her lipstick to ransom when she was younger because he knew that if she didn't
look good, she didn't feel good therefore she wouldn't go out.
This Kochanski comes from a parallel dimension where her Red Dwarf crew are more
evolved, more sophisticated and more intelligent. Is it any wonder she finds our Red
Dwarf crew so utterly hopeless and amateur ? The major difference in her dimension is
that she is having a relationship with Lister, a more sensitive, caring Lister who enjoys
shopping for shoes and having indepth conversations about relationships. In her
dimension she, like Lister is the only surviving human in the Universe but this is
absolutely the only thing she would like to think they have in common.
Now she's stuck with them She's trying so hard to fit in but her arrival has caused
major strains in relationships . Kryten thinks she will take Lister away from him, Lister
is feeling inadequate compared to her Lister and wants to make a good impression. As
she settles in, she is gaining the respect of her colleagues and becoming an invaluable
member of the crew but they know she will be off at the first opportunity to rejoin her
crew and her boyfriend in her dimension...or will she?
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LINKS
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