The Foreign Correspondents Club of Thailand's *Dateline* magazine
When Belgian police seized hundreds of bogus, obscene "Tintin in Thailand" comic books, Belgian Prince Philippe was shocked to hear of the beloved character's adventures in a raunchy story of Thai prostitutes and gay sex.
Copyright by Richard S. Ehrlich
Tintin in Thailand
2001
by Richard S. Ehrlich
The thrust of the blasphemous, 60-page comic book however is to intentionally taunt the real-life estate of cartoonist Herge, who created the world-famous character, and to lampoon the copyright holder's control.
The comic book embarrassed Thai officials because news of the Belgian bust came while the prince was visiting Bangkok.
Belgian officials are also livid because Tintin has always symbolized high morals, a strong work ethic, intellectual inquisitiveness and good, clean fun.
"We can't approve of one of our most famous cartoon heroes being misused in such a way," said Belgian State Secretary of Foreign Affairs, Annemie Neyts-Uyttebroeck, who formed part of the prince's economic delegation.We find it absolutely deplorable."
Secretary of Foreign Affairs Spokesperson Hubert Cooreman said, "This pirated comic strip is particularly insulting to our culture" and "very disgusting to us. This is completely illegal. It's an infringement on the copyright law," Cooreman added.
In mid-February, Belgian prosecutors seized more than 650 copies of "Tintin in Thailand" in Belgium.
Herge's publishers contacted police when a man offered distributors the pirated edition. Police, posing as comic book buyers, made arrests in the Belgian cities of Doornik and Antwerp.
Copies of the lewd cartoon were earlier on sale at a topless bar in Bangkok's popular Nana Entertainment Plaza.
The glossy, color cover shows Tintin and other familiar characters wandering an outdoor food market in Thailand, amid Buddhist temples and smiling locals.
The author's name is a pun: "Bud E. Weyzer."
The black-and-white book starts out like a typical story, with young reporter Tintin and bearded, pipe-smoking Captain Haddock in wintry Europe wondering what to do.
Snowy the dog and his girlfriend cat, however, start using four-letter words and the other characters quickly follow. A woman blasts the foul-mouthed Captain as an "old syphilitic pimp".
The tale involves finding Jolyon Wagg, a salesman who abandoned his wife in Europe and went to Thailand.
His distraught, overweight wife says, "At first, I thought it was an accident, a kidnapping, or a murder. You never know with those cannibals. Then I alerted Interpol and the embassy."
Ironically, in real-life, international police and diplomats are now tracking copies of this fake comic book, to arrest whoever else was involved in producing it.
In the cartoon, meanwhile, Wagg's wife realizes her husband "is squandering all of our money on whores."
She begs Tintin to fly to Bangkok, instead of languishing in chilly Europe "while your father's heirs gobble the copyrights."
The wife tells Tintin, "I'll pay all the costs and thereby you'll have another publication of which you'll be the only heirs."
At the first of many swipes at the Herge copyright holders, she adds, "Imagine the faces of those vultures at the 'Marlinsprick Company' when they discover 'Tintin in Thailand'."
Though much of the comic dialogue focuses on sex, there is no nudity in the artwork.
After landing in Bangkok, Tintin, Captain Haddock, and near-deaf sidekick Professor Calculus exclaim about Bangkok's notorious pollution, ubiquitous mobile phones and spicy cuisine.
Amid all this, Tintin's real-life European representative -- "which controls the copyrights of Herge" -- suddenly appears, angrily shouting, "What? Tintin in Thailand?"
The Herge representative hires "Derek" to trail Tintin's group because "they probably want a new adventure and to publish a new book on their own, without paying any royalties and soiling the spirit of Herge's work.
"Tintin in Thailand. Can you imagine the shame, Derek?" the Herge representative says into the phone.
On the other end, three giggling Thai girls are pawing a blushing Derek, who sports a moustache, slick black hair and a sharp suit.
Sweating, Derek says into his cell-phone, "I am making inquiries about illegal copies of Tintin's t-shirts."
The Herge representative berates him and warns, "Very important, Derek. No sex. I beg you, respect our youngsters of seven to 77."
Derek's smart-aleck reply: "Easy to say, you're 78."
The famous Lonely Planet travel guide is also skewered.
Professor Calculus tells Tintin, newly arrived in Bangkok: "According to the 'Looney Planet' guide book, we should only be a couple of hundred metres from Patpong, the red light district."
Tintin discovers the missing Wagg is living with a Thai transsexual, though "convinced that he flew to Chiang Mai with Miss Universe."
Tintin, meanwhile, picks up a gay toilet attendant. Later, at a Chiang Mai massage parlor, the Captain and Professor engage women demurely wrapped in towels.
Herge's legal, commercial copyright on Tintin is blasted for being more exploitative than the counterfeiters producing "Tintin in Thailand."
Balding identical twins named The Thompsons threaten Derek because "after all, you're working for the crooks at the Marlinuts Company who sell us out in the form of key-rings, coat-stands and other tacky gadgets for rich kids, without leaving us a chance to make a living from our adventures."
One of the twins tells Derek, "When we discovered that you were tailing Tintin, we realized that Marlinuts wanted to prevent this new edition."
The twin shouts, "But we don't see why you should prevent us from having a bit of fun, rather than gracing some bathroom carpet or electronic alarm clock" with legally marketed Tintin characters.
Chapter Two finds Tintin opting to visit "Sexy Boy" bar, where he is introduced to a young man who Tintin recognizes as a character from a real-life Herge classic, Tintin in Tibet.
Shocked, Tintin greets the Tibetan who tearfully blurts out how he was molested in Tibet by an abominable snowman.
The Tibetan describes how, after his money was stolen in Phuket, he began servicing "German truck drivers" in local bars.
He rejects Tintin's offer to rescue him and boasts he is now "in the sun, and I'm paying off my Benz."
After more twists, the characters decide to enjoy Thailand while financed by their new friend, Derek, who they have corrupted into continuing on the Herge estate's payroll, while pretending to hunt Tintin.
A pleased Tintin says Derek now "guarantees us a pirate edition of our new adventures."
They also find Wagg who is suffering a tough-talking transsexual. Wagg wants to return to his wife in Belgium.
But Tintin and the others plot to keep Wagg from flying home. Otherwise, Wagg's wife will stop funding Tintin's hedonistic trip to search for him.
Tintin, meanwhile, is confronted by the Tibetan, who drunkenly reveals he is not really a Tibetan and wasn't abused by an abominable snowman.
He angrily admits his name is Try, and he is a proud Thai citizen.
The Thai now denounces Tintin as a "pure" person who sullied himself by entering a gay bar and, in the process, destroying Try's world which was built around reading virtuous Tintin comic books.
In revenge for wrecking Tintin's reputation, Try picks up a machete and threatens to castrate Tintin.
Later, they become friends, and Tintin gets the Thai to promise not to reveal "what you discovered last night."
Tintin adds, "There is nothing to cut off Tintin," and confesses he is "completely asexual."
The Thai replies, "Console yourself Tintin. At least you don't run the risk of getting AIDS."
More convolutions lead to a Dec. 31, 1999 millennium party, where the characters congratulate themselves for staying in Thailand and producing this fake comic book.
A character presents "the first copy" of "Tintin in Thailand" to a delighted Tintin.
But when Wagg says he will return to Belgium and "take a copy" with him, the Thompson Twins predict the impact:
"Oops, Jolyon, I wouldn't do that if I were you."
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email: animists *at* yahoo *dot* com
Richard S. Ehrlich, a freelance journalist who has reported news from Asia, is co-author of the non-fiction book, "HELLO MY BIG BIG HONEY!" -- Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews.
His web page is
http://www.oocities.org/asia_correspondent