Handling a Tragedy

There are a series of methods to be used when a tragedy hits someone. These approaches are complimentary to one another. They are as follows:

a.Having patience (sabr); the reward of patience is Paradise on the Day of Judgment

b.Remembering Allah (SWT), the Creator, You will make Him happy, and in turn He will remember you and He will be make you happy.

c.Submitting ourselves to Allah (SWT) at the time oftragedy

d.Saying: Inna Lillahi... Wa Inna Lillayhi Raajioon (We came from Allah (SWT) and back to Allah (SWT) we are going)

e.Reading Qur'an and especially Surah Yaseen

f.Making certain Du'a for the deceased

g.Sharing your tragedy with others

h.Performing extra Salat

i.Giving Sadaqah (charity) to needy people

j.Requesting others to make Du'a for you and for the deceased

k.Look into the deceased's will (Wasiyah) - prior to his burial - and find out if there is any special wish he had. If there is anything in his will which is contrary to the teachings of Islam, you are not to fulfill such a wish.

l.Find out about the deceased's debts and loans. Make sure to pay all of them as soon as possible. You are responsible in the Book of Allah (SWT) for taking care of them.

m.The body should be buried as soon as possible. The burial should be in the same general area o the death. Shipping the body overseas is not acceptable.

n.Burial rites are to be performed: washing (Ghusl) Kaffan, Salat Janazah, Talqeen, Du'a and burial

o.Embalming or cremation are not acceptable in Islam.

p.To bring people on the third day or the seventh day to read Qur'an is not found in the teachings of Islam. Anniversaries of the deceased are not from the Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh). Those who insist on observing these occasions as a religious duty and obligation are indeed committing innovation (Bid'ah) in Islam.

An Example of a Condolence

The condolence to be given to the bereaved family is as follows:

a.Prepare yourself as to what you will say and how you will say it.

b. Try to pick up certain verses from the Qur'an, and several A hadith to be quoted and to be told to the family about death

c. Go back to the books of Seerah and Fiqh, and read the chapters on sickness and death.

d. Think it over before you call the family: ask yourself how I am going to sound when I start talking to them to give them condolence.

e. Narrate to them a few verses from the Qur'an and a few A hadith from the Prophet (pbuh)

f. Make supplication of forgiveness (Du'a Maghfirah) for the deceased.

g.Mention to them the nobility of the dead person when he was alive, i.e., the good things he used to do.

If you (the reader) were the deceased person, what would you wish to say to your family and to the ones who read your message? The following is a partial list of the wishes of a deceased person to the members of his family and friends:

a. Please, my loving family! Don't cry or scream. Please don't question the wisdom of Allah (SWT) in making me die. He knows exactly what He is doing.

b. Remember! I can still hear and see. Therefore, try to close my eyes immediately.

c. Don't put me on life support, instead read Surah Yaseen. Allah (SWT) will either revive me, or make me die peacefully.

d. Please try to bury me as soon as possible. Don't put me in the hospital, and if I am to be taken to the hospital, they should not put my body in a freezer. I should be released immediately for burial.

e. Make sure I won't be cremated or even embalmed.

f. Don't take me to a mortuary, instead take me to the Masjid where the Ghusl, Wudu, Kaffan, and Salatul Janazah will be performed on me.

g. Make sure to read my will before you bury me.

Try your best to execute my decisions and recommendations as long as they are according to Islamic Shariah.

h. Look into my debts and my loans. Please try your best to take care of them as soon as possible.

i. Inform my friends and relatives of my death. Request them to make Du'a of forgiveness on me.

j. Inform them about the place of burial and the time for Salatul Janazah and the time of burial.

k. Donate my clothing to needy individuals.

l. Request the Imam, while performing Salatul Janazah, to give a Khutbah on the meaning of death.

m. At the time of bringing me into the grave, request the Imam to make Talqeen to me. Let him request all the visitors to forgive me and to make special Du'a of forgiveness for me.

n. Before burial, make sure no one opens the coffin to expose my face to the public.

o.Tell the people once I have been put into the grave, that staying longer with me helps. The angels will ask me questions and I will need Du'a of forgiveness at the time.

p. If a mark is to be put on the grave, make it very simple. Don't use the name of Allah (SWT) on the mark.

q. It would be a good idea to visit my grave from time to time and make special Du'a for me.

r. Whenever you make your daily Salat, remember me in your Du'a of forgiveness.

s.Whenever you make donations, remember me. Try to donate on my behalf for building any masjid, school, hospital, orphanage, etc.

t.If I die in a different country, let the local Muslims there take care of my body and bury me in that part of the world. I should not bebrought back to the country of my residence.

u.My best wish is to die in Makkah or Madinah, and be buried in Jannat Al-Baqee in the City of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

v.Please Make sure that my neighbors around my grave be among the honest, sincere and true Muslim believers. Good neighbors around my grave will improve my next life.

Final remarks

A tragedy is not easily accepted and absorbed without sorrows and wrong feelings. One has to recognize that this life is not eternal, and is filled with tests and examinations. Therefore, one has to expect and accept any decisions made by Allah (SWT) that goes against our will or wish. At the same time, one has to plan and prepare himself for the better life to come in the hereafter.

To have a good family and good friends is a blessing from Allah (SWT). One should try to do favors to many people. They may in turn make Du'a of forgiveness for you after death. While you are alive, try to remember all those relatives who died before you. Make Du'a for them, and remember their good deeds. Inform the living ones about the good deeds of the deceased before they die.

As long as you have this type of feeling towards the deceased, Allah (SWT) will inspire other people to do the same for you when you die. As long as you name Allah (SWT) happy, He will make you happy in this world, in the grave, on the Day of Assembly, on the Day of Judgment, and on the Sirat Al-Mustaqeem on the way to Heaven and Paradise.