by Wayne LeBlanc jr
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1:am - Alarm clock rings 2:am - Hunting partners arrive, drags you out of bed 2:30am - Throw everything , except the kitchen sink, into camper 3am - Leave for the woods 3:15am - Drive back home and pick up gun 3:30am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight 4am - Set up camp - forgot the damn tent 4:30am - Head into the woods 6:05am - See 8 deer 6:06am - Take aim and squeeze trigger 6:07am - "click" 6:08am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill 8AM - Head back to camp 9am - Still looking for camp 10am - Realize you don`t know where camp is noon - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries 12:15pm - Ran out of bullets - 8 deer came back 12:20pm - Strange feeling in stomach 12:30pm - Realize you ate poison berries 12:45pm - Rescued ! 12:55pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped 3PM - Arrive back at camp 3:30pm - Leave camp to "kill"deer 4pm - Return to camp to for bullets 4:01pm - Load gun - leave camp again 5pm - Empty gun at squirrel who`s buggin` you 6pm - Arrive at camp, see deer grazing at camp 6:01pm - Load gun, fire gun 6:03pm - One dead pickup truck 6:05pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer 6:06pm - Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner 6:07pm - Fall into fire 6:10pm - Change clothes , throw burned ones into fire 6:15pm - Take pickup , leave partner and his deer in woods 6:25pm - Pickup boils over - it`s shot in the block 6:26pm - Start walking 6:30pm - Stumble and fall , drop gun in the mud 6:35pm - Meet bear 6:36pm - Take aim 6:37pm - Fire gun - blows up barrel that`s plugged with mud 6:38pm - Shits pants 6:39pm - Climb tree 9pm - Bear departs - wrap ****** gun around tree midnight - Home at last Sunday - Watch football game on TV , slowly ripping license into little pieces , placing in envelope and mailing it to game warden with very clear instructions on where to place it. |
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