Disclaimer: Star Trek and the Rules of Acquisition belong to Paramount. Who else?!

Chakotay was lying awake in his quarters. It was not the first time; it probably wouldn't be the last. And the cause was simple: Kathryn. Inspired by his spirit guide, he'd finally made a move to further their relationship and what had he got? Humiliation and outright rejection. Nothing else!

"Thanks a lot!" he muttered to his spirit guide with a scowl.

"Show me something," she had shouted, "that says a relationship between us would be fine, and I'll agree to it. Until then, I don't want to hear another word about it!" Then she had dismissed him without giving him a second glance, and he had left quietly.

It rankled him that she could walk all over him like this, but she was… well, she was Kathryn, after all.

He got out of bed and walked over to the replicator. "Computer, give me an unusual and interesting text. Book form."

The computer beeped and a book materialised on the platform. It was a slightly odd looking book, with a wooden cover, and he didn't recognise the writing on the cover. Picking it up, he began to leaf through the pages. Whatever this book was, the computer had obviously given him the original language version. No bother. He needed distraction. He'd replicate a dictionary and manually translate the book.

"Computer, give me a Federation-Ferengi translation text."

The computer complied and Chakotay sat down to translate the cover.

Ten minutes later he lifted his head and proclaimed out loud to no one in particular, "The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. Great. Just great."

Janeway watched with an apologetic look as Chakotay masked a yawn for the fourth time in half an hour. Clearly, he had had no more sleep than she last night, but a habit of staying up late and a cup of coffee meant that she at least looked a little better. He yawned again.

"Are you all right, Chakotay?" she asked in a quiet voice, concern etched on her features.

He turned to her without his customary smile and replied, "I'm fine. Nothing a little sleep when I go offduty won't handle."

She smiled sympathetically. "Feel free to go to sickbay now and see if the Doctor can help." What she really wanted was Chakotay off the bridge for a while. She was feeling unusually uncomfortable after last night's discussion - no, argument - and having the object of her thoughts sitting next to her and stealing glances at her when he thought she wasn't looking didn't help one iota.

"Captain, really, I'm fine," Chakotay insisted and lapsed back into a brooding silence. Janeway lasted about two minutes before the waves of tension emanating from both of them finally overpowered her.

"Commander, you have the bridge. I'll be in my Ready Room," she informed him, and left to seek refuge before anyone could comment,

Sinking onto the sofa and staring out at the stars, she began to relax. Her problems seemed small and almost trivial when compared to the size of the universe, and she liked that.

She knew what her problem was today. She thought about consulting her spirit guide, but the way it always answered her questions cryptically made her feel murderous. Kathryn Janeway preferred absolutes, not abstracts. Besides, it made her think of Chakotay, and she'd rather not go there right now…

She hadn't been able to sleep last night either. She regretted some of the things she said to Chakotay last night, but she'd spoken without thinking first. Her tongue had almost seemed to have a mind of its own, something she thought she'd grown out of in childhood. And now she'd said it, she wasn't backing down.

Chakotay turned again. Once more, he was obviously not going to be getting any sleep

"Computer, lights," he ordered, rolling out of bed. Blinking in the sudden glare, he picked up the Rules of Acquisition and turned to a random page.

"Rule…" He recognised that ideogram now. The next branch coming off it was the number of hundreds, the next was the tens and the last the units. "Rule 112." He started to thumb through the translation text for the base ideogram.

"Sex, intercourse; the act of having."

Just what he didn't want to think about right now. But never mind. The first branch coming off was a negation branch; the first part of this sentence roughly read "Don't have sex" or "Never have sex". An odd sentiment for the Ferengi, Chakotay realised with a wry smile. The subbase ideogram for the next half of the sentence was 'sister', Chakotay discovered, and it had two branches coming off it. One was a possessed-possessor line and the other joined it to the base ideogram. That one he recognised - it was 'with'. The possessor of the sister, the translation text told him, was 'boss, superior, exploiter'. Boss's Sister?

"Never have sex with the boss's sister," he read out loud, wondering why he was sitting in his quarters translating the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. Besides, Kathryn's sister was back on Earth, and he had no intention of having sex with her.

He sighed. Next rule.

Kathryn lent back in her chair and closed her eyes. This was getting ridiculous. She couldn't even bore herself to sleep anymore. Opening her eyes, she stared blankly at Seven's Astrometrics Report that she'd just finished reading; she couldn't even remember what it was about. Space Dust, probably.

She shifted her gaze to the wall between her quarters and Chakotay's. All was quiet. Doubtless, he was sleeping like a log, the way she wished she was. Or maybe he was talking to his spirit guide. Whichever it was, Kathryn hated him for it, for being peaceful while she felt exhausted and restless.

Chakotay flipped the page over. Rule 113. The base ideogram was the same as the previous rule, but this time, there was no negation branch. Instead, there was a different symbol on the branch, a circle. Always? Always have sex? That sounded more like a Ferengi ethic. Following the conjunction branch, 'with', Chakotay found the subbase ideogram was another one he'd already seen: Boss. Typical Ferengi, he thought, before remembering with a jerk that on Ferenginar, Females don't work. Females can't work. Chakotay didn't even want to think about the implications. And didn't. Instead, a slow smile crept across his face.

Kathryn's head flew up at the sound of the door chime going just as she was about to fall asleep at last, albeit in her chair.

"Come in," she called, standing up stiffly. Chakotay rushed in and practically shoved an odd-looking book into her hands.

"You woke me up at three in the morning to give me a book?" she asked in disbelief.

"We wanted evidence that we should… um… pursue a relationship. It's in there!"

Kathryn opened the book and started to leaf through the pages. "Very funny, Chakotay," she said dryly.

"It's Ferengi," he explained patiently. "Go to the page with the bent corner."

She did as instructed and was confronted with what looked like a demented flowchart. She rolled her eyes. "I don't read Ferengi," she yawned.

"It says, 'Rule 113. Always have sex with the boss."

"Very funny," she started to say again, but it was obliterated by a yawn. "Since when did you read Ferengi, anyway?"

"Since you made me unable to sleep," he answered frankly.

"Maybe you just mistranslated," Kathryn suggested. "Computer, what is the 113^th Rule of Acquisition?"

"Always have sex with the boss," the computer replied promptly.

Kathryn was speechless; Chakotay had a semi-triumphant, semi-tired smile on his face. From somewhere ion the back of her mind, Kathryn dredged up the memory of their confrontation two days - two days?! - ago.

"Chakotay, I'm tired. Can't we talk about this in the morning?"

Chakotay left the book on her desk. "Goodnight, Kathryn," he bade her, and walked out of her quarters and into his own. Dropping into his bed, he fell asleep instantly.

Paris listened in amusement the next morning as the Captain instructed Tuvok in what to tell the Commander when he arrived for his duty shift. She had barely adjourned to her Ready Room when Chakotay arrived, looking much better than he had the morning before.

Tomactually turned to gauge the First Officer's reaction as Tuvok gravely informed him that "Rule 113 has been passed and approved. All that remains is to go through the motions."

Paris wondered why Chakotay had a grin on his face as he hurriedly walked to the Ready Room. Paris sighed as he turned back to the conn.

Maybe... he'd never know.