They kept noticing a certain item was ALWAYS in the candy machine. It was the ill-fated Mallo Cups. No one ever bought them and they stayed there for several weeks of rehearsal. Finally, one night they got brave and challenged one another to eat a Mallo Cup. They bought the candy, and prepared to face the challenge.
After eating the Mallos and returning to the pit, Dave and Brian slowly felt their motor skills diminishing and their mental state rapidly becoming unstable. Observers have suggested that they possibly developed a new language while under the influence of Mallo. This language consisted of many strange grunting noises and an occasional "GWA!" It was also accompanied by the ritual of twirling drumsticks and/or mallets. Thankfully the effects of this Mallo experience wore off after a while, and life returned to normal for Dave and Brian.
However, the influence of Mallo still remained. At the next night's rehearsal, Dave and Brian escaped the confines of the Arts Center to a local convenience store to buy more Mallo and GWA-va Snapple. Each bite of Mallo Cup pulled them deeper into Mallo Madness, and now look where they are. Brian is the proprietor of Insanity Central and Dave gets beat up by ALF when he sleeps.
| Rating | Meaning | Recommended Use |
| G | - Gooey - Fresh Mallo | Edible to all ages with little or no side effects |
| PG | - Partly Gooey - just a hint of staleness - Shelf Age = 6 - 12 months | - Edible to Most - Young Children and those taking heart medication should avoid PG Mallo |
| PG-13 | - Partly Gooey - shelf age around 13 months - getting pretty stale | - Only Adults in Prime Physical Condition should attempt to consume a PG-13 Mallo - WARNING: May cause young children to speak like James Earl Jones before gnawing on unprotected furniture. |
| R | - Rancid - Flip a coin - these Mallo have been there for a while | - Mallos in the Mallo Story above fall into this category - May cause a development of a new language, hallucinations, cold and flu, persistent itching, and abdominal pain - Use at your own risk | NC-17 | - No Consumption for those under the age of 17 | - Will cause a quick and painful death for most people - Known to be used as chemical weapons - Only 4 known survivors of NC-17 Mallo, and they're all locked away right now... |
Anywho, those of us here at Insanity Central noticed another peculiar thing about Mallo Cups. They contain play money in each wrapper. You can collect this 'money' to earn special offers from Boyer, the makers of Mallo. Currently, Insanity Central is collecting Mallo points to earn something. Although, the technicians at IC don't know what it is yet. To keep the general public informed about our progress, the technicians devise the Mallo-meter. This device will record the number of Mallo Points currently locked away in the IC Vault, so keep checkng back to see the progress.
: Mallo Cups devoured as the new millennium begins...
: Artwork with Mallo Cup wrappers
: The Infamous No Mallo picture
OK, that's more than enough Mallo for one webpage, please come back later to check the Mall-o-meter!
