| Chill, MarCon 37, run my my brother: "Christina Ricci tackled Linda Hamilton. The results were predictable." "We passed the realm of the possible about three beers ago." "OK, can I freak out now?" "Thumpy-thumpy-thumpy from the morgue? Hell, yes, I lock the door!" |
| Con Quotes |
| Victorian Age: Vampire, Origins 2003, run by Alex: "Can I have some lesbian sex before the game?" "Tremere are friends, not food." "Jewish skulls do not need to be cracked necessarily." "Next time, the door needs to be kicked in. Just putting that out there." "Duly noted." "They're tearing her clothes off in self-defense!" "He stole your lesbian." "Are there any of those children prostitutes? I'm getting kinda hungry." "Gain a point of Willpower." "For what?" "Encouraging child-eating." "And sodomy." "All the best plans involve kerosene." |
| Dark Ages: Werewolf, Origins 2003, run by me: "This Bane-ridden wasteland could give you serious cavities." "Necropork." "I'm going to attempt to jump on the gay pig's back." "I use Fatal Flaw on the pig." "It's French." "It's like my personal Litany was written by Kafka." "He gets a gore of opportunity." "If I had a point of Rage, I'd kick you in the nuts." "My necrophagia has abated." "The lollipop is eviler!" |
| Vampire: The Masquerade, DragonCon 2002, run by me: "I'll bet you $100 I can explain it." "Don't take that bet!" "I usually don't personify facial hair." "Sorcerers?" "Scholars?" "Caine?" |
| Mummy: The Resurrection, DragonCon 2002, run by Colin: "Well, there's only one thing for it." "Popcorn." "Coffee." "Syphilis." "No one wants to be a guidance counselor to begin with. After you die, it's kind of a new beginning." "So I died...and then I went to Egypt?" "Peter. As in the thing he doesn't have." "It's like cancer. Only good." "His face looks like Billy Joel in a funhouse mirror." |
| Exalted: Abyssals, DragonCon 2003, run by Michael: Our Circle: Warden of Blood-Stained Roots (Dusk, played by Charles) Jaguar Who Drinks Deeply of his Victim's Cry (Day, played by myself) Gentle Whisper in the Night (Midnight, played by Myranda) Longed-For Daughter of the Paper-Crane Shrines (Daybreak, played by Sarah) Bone-Chilling Wind in Ghostly Sails (Moonshadow, played by Janet) Mountain-Rapid that Will Never Cease (Dusk, played by Pammit) Quotes: "I worked for Walker-in-Darkness until I realized he was a pussy, and so I left." "Oh, I get to go tomb-robbing. Rule." "The Lover thinks with her Nether Regions." "We're ready to wreak death and destruction upon Creation." "Great. I'm ready to shop." "It takes a village to feed an Abyssal." "OK, we pass through the Shadowlands and it's raining. Is that what happens?" "So, what does your iconic form look like now that you've got a river of blood coming from your forehead?" "Well, that's not the only place on my body dripping liquid." "I'll tell you what, sis. If there are any mortals inside, you get dibs." "Very well, then. I'll raise the dead." "If there's mortals inside, there may be more dead that need a little raisin'." "He looks like he can climb. He's got those toes." "Just think back...remember...to the horrible cthuloid horror that touched your mind...ah, there it is. Yay." "It's not like the zombie has feelings." "If something's coming out of the slits in the walls, there's no time for Investigation." "You're going to pray to the slimy pickled egg?" |
| Dark Ages: Fae, MarCon 39, run by me: Session 1: "Bird on a stick!" "It'll never fly." "I'm gonna let them stay out in the woods. They say funny things." "I'm gonna go out on a limb here..." "Said the wood inanimae..." "No, no Dexterity + Feces." |
| Session 2: "I feel funny about gaming sometimes, but then I remember it's the salamander in my shorts." "Perhaps the word you think is 'fish' is 'truce'." "This is sex with a pagan deity figure. Who's on top isn't the biggest worry." "I'm not blowing sleep dust in his crotch! "Where did my dagger land?" "I think it's by the weasel." |
| Vampire: The Requiem, round 1, session 1, Origins 2004, run by me: "TMI." "I never heard that used for chainsaws." "I'll continue. I'm Beau Taylor, dammit." "Sweet skateboarding Jesus! Never do that again!" "I am an exotic dancer." "Are there any poles?" "My stripper-fu is greater than yours." "Violence never solved anything." "Speaking of which..." |
| Vampire: The Requiem, round 1, session 2, Origins 2004, run by me: "I'm surrounded by mental patients. Wait, I am a mental patient." "I'm saving some Willpower for the Rottweiler." "Saturday night's all right for fighting." "Not for me. I'm easy like Sunday morning." "Obviously, you're the main event, baby! It's you and me!" "Yeah, it's you and him!" "As long as I'm not shot by the mad Greek, we'll call this a success." "I think she's a stripper with a cause." |
| Vampire: The Masquerade, Origins 2004, run by Kevin (?): "Let me change into my stealing clothes." "Don't you drink my Squeaky!" "What's your Humanity, you cold heartless bitch?" "If I had Humanity 7, I wouldn't kill him." "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Toreadors." "You were born on a day. It wasn't yesterday." "Dead people don't buy our albums." "How about this: I take my fist, which attached to my arm, and bash it into his face." |
| Vampire: The Requiem, Origins 2004, round 2, run by me: "Mmm...sexy, sexy food." "What's he into?" "Stuff..." "Ususally, nurses don't hit back." "You're Vladimir?" "All right, Zack." "Were you blue before you become a vampire?" "You're just lucky that wasn't a puppy." "I'm not scared of your love, bitch." |
| Dark Ages: Fae, Origins 2004, run by me: "They also encroach on our places of power." "What, birds?" "Perhaps the humans are like trees." "Do you not remember what happened the last time various factions tried manipulating the furry ones?" "All opposed?" "To Mountain Dew?" "With Night, you can summon weasels." "Pot. Does a faerie good." "Oh, trust me. If he has a stick, he'll beat you with it." "Quick! Quick! Take all your clothes off and play the ukelele!" "Yay, your collossal fuck-up won it for my Court!" |
| Vampire: The Requiem, Origins 2004, round 3, run by me: "He just sort of exudes this presence that you just don't want to be around." "Gamer funk." "We've lost our Peacekeeper." "Let's fight!" "What he said, minus stupid." "You can skulk, Obfuscate-girl." "I'd like to go on record as being against this plan, but I don't stand between crazy vampires and fire." "He won't expect that. He won't expect a bunch of..." "Idiots?" "It's things like this that convince people that violence does solve everything in roleplaying, but let's ride this to its insane conclusion." "Wait a minute. What's our mayhem schedule?" "I smell like burning flesh." "Don't we all deep down?" |
| Vampire: The Masquerade, Origins 2004, run by Kevin(?): "Can I grab a couple pop-top cats?" "Gangrels don't got no sires." "He's got cajones. That's Spanish!" "It's a race of eight-legged lesbians." "She thinks because she wears black leather boots, she has Dominate." "I didn't think you'd actually stab her." "You don't have to hold me, hold the pin!" "Why did you put a Malkavian in this group?" "The sheep lie." "As a Gangrel, he would know." "As a McFarland, he would know." "Three badasses and some grenades. Yeah..." "This whole game is a public service announcement for why you shouldn't include Malkavians?" "Never take a Toreader to a biker bar." "Hey, Matt. I can roll my earrings." "Anything else you guys want to do while you're waiting for the monkey to get back?" |
| Werewolf: The Forsaken, MarCon 2005, run by me: "Can I be the Joker?" "Yeah, if I can get his hand out of Wolverine's crotch." "A lot of good Danger Sense does me when all the damage is self-inflicted." "I know the crane's my crotch, but which way's the shed?" "ATVs don't so much have lairs as garages." "Hi. My name's Jack. You the one that shot me in the head?" |
| Cat!, MarCon 2005, run by me: "It's a lot easier for a cat to say 'Mao' than 'Stalin.'" "Cats aren't pack hunters MY ASS!" "We're gonna need a bigger boat. What's a boat?" "The outside? That's crazy talk!" "We're fighting Boggins, Rakasha! Sometimes, we get dirty!" |
| Four Colors Al Fresco, Origins 2005: "That'd be a cop-out, Captain!" "You damn cultural relativist." "Kick his Popely ass, barehanded!" "If only I had more sperm whales." "Into the bowels of the Pope, as it were." |
| Mage: The Awakening, round 1, Origins 2005: "I'm a conniving little bitch. Would I recognize precious metals?" "It's like Ed Wood directing Othello." |
| Ghosts of Albion, Origins 2005: "Just because it's arcane doesn't mean it's cryptic." "Actually, yes, it does." "I killed a zombie with my face!" "How do we fight ghosts?" "We shoot them with our magical bolts of energy." "I have magic faerie armor!" "It's not often you hear a grown man say that." "I tried! I spent a Drama Point and everything!" "Actually, isn't there a zombie right next to me?" "Bleeding is a reflexive action? That's good to know." "...the Baroness, who's having fun with the corpse..." "Eww. I quit." "Sir Elton's a fine, upstanding gentleman." "That's not in dispute, but he still likes the cock." "It is getting late, isn't it?" |
| Unknown Armies, Origins 2005: "How does one smoke a chick?" "I'm not really a psychic, I just came in for a cup of coffee." "Is she hot?" "This is TV, of course she is." "There are six detectives here. I'm not sure what to do. I've already given them lemonade." "There are nine mason jars, each with a human heart." "Oh, my God! (pause) Are they labeled?" |
| Mage: The Awakening, round 2, Origins 2005: "Together, we help people with horizontal ascension." "Let's just walk up and nuke it with Prime." "That's very wise. Have a Pixi Stick." "We are not affiliated with the people doing the murdering." |
| Mage: The Awakening, round 3, Origins 2005: "My mind is...not able to wrap itself around this room. Understanding does not come into it." "So...you're clueless?" "Distracted by demonic puffballs. On we go." "It's a Stygian standoff." "You're gonna learn this eventually." "Gibberish?" "It's like Pig Latin, only stronger." "While I'm running over, I'll give myself the electric noogie." "Hamsters are not an ideal!" "They are if you're a hamster." "I disagree!" "There's a skeleton draped over the edge." "Does it look dead?" |
| Army of Darkness, Origins 2005: "Why couldn't you be a fuckin' wookie so we couldn't understand you?" "In a way, I really wish I was a wookie." "You think he's gonna die?" "Nah, he'll be fine. He looks pretty tough." "It's the chin." "There was a kraken back there!" "A crack in what?" "It groped me!" "Who wouldn't?" "He's laying hands on your girl." "Just her shoulder. Not her nipples!" "Porn's easy to find. Good porn is harder to find." "Lower your standards!" "She's there, too, with the midget. And the beer." "Are you putting your dice into a beaver?" |
| City of Heroes, Origins 2005: "I attack for emphasis!" "His ears are bleeding." "Now, that's what I'm talkin' about!" "I think he will not sidestep the horrific visions of pain and Frenchness I will inflict upon him!" "If it fails, it'll look like she's Irish line dancing." "I really don't want that." |