| More Ohio Gaming Quotes! |
| From my one-story Vampire: The Requiem game: "I have a gun. I don't know what flavor it is, but I have a gun." "I have to have blood if I'm gonna be doing shit like breaking into a museum." "I'll bring you your garbage bag of human flesh." (said by the Nosferatu) "It's good to be the thing." "See, but he's flashy and I'm competant." "They have samples of my blood and they're witchy evil people." "My poor mentor's getting beat up by walnuts." "On to cheerier subjects, such as drinking the blood of teenagers." |
| From Prophet's Blues, my long-running Demon: The Fallen chronicle: "I eye Jesus a little bit closer." "How are things?" "Creepy." "What do you do when the Angel of Death offers you cold pizza?" "We can change the course of Fate. To the library!" "They're dead." "Eww." "There's supernatural in my coffee." "I go get some pants." "Why is he sticking his hand into an elephant?" "Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to knock a big hole in the wall." "Personally, I represent angry dead people." "Aw, man. There's gonna be ninjas!" "Calm down. We mean no immediate harm." "I don't want to give a 13-year-old the power to raise a demon from Hell." "You retain your Torment, however." "But I was nice to those kittens." "Was that a gun or an umbrella?" "Hentai ghost fish!" "Many, many seconds ago...in a room...right here..." "And you did a fucking spectacular job. What does this have to do with my coffee?" "Want to kill some vampires at noon and then at three go to the cult thing?" "Are there people being whipped here?" "You can't lock out Hell." "You're a fucking demon! Why can't you just steal a boat?" "Well, the whole 'teleporting-to-Hell' thing wasn't such a good idea." "I hunger for the corn chips of the living." "It's not a 'ha-ha-to-you' giggle, it's a 'you're so evil' giggle." "Can someone lend me a thrall?" "Must get to its creamy center!" "So there's a tattooed and pierced girl on the ceiling...and an angel." "Ah, we fell. Fuck presumptions!" "If I were an animal, I'd want to be a platypus, 'cause I'd be like 'quack, wanna fuck with me? Quack!'" "You should totally lose a point of temporary Torment for every bubble bath you take." "That was what one of them said, right before one of you heartless bastards killed him." "Yo!" "I go to the library and check out that book." "He talks to vampires. I just make them evaporate." "Cultists are like cockroaches." "They like Twinkies?" "You came in just in time to go to Scotland." "Fire's coming out of my nose!" "You're like a floppy orc!" "We robbed some guy?" "Can't you make a bellboy your bitch and make him get you cheap food?" "Man, Scotland Yard never tried to defend against teleporting demons." "Can I grab Dirk's invisible ass?" "Why does he have a clavicle? I thought only saints had clavicles." "So, are we getting our confession on?" "Sure, ripping the one hunter to shreds wasn't the nicest thing I could have done." "Would it hurt Danali's new standing with God if she became a go-go dancer?" "This is like a really fucked up game of Sims." "I like how you're fighting crime, I saved a kitten and she's doing porn." "I just want to fuck your accent." "The future is blue. What shade of blue?" "I'm not a Devil. Fuck yourself." "I want to prepare for whatever this big blue thing is." "I just want to eat a pregnant woman." "That means I have a gun and a kitten." "There's more guys in the bathroom I don't know about?" "Sweet! We don't have to kill her now! No Torment!" "It's Indian coffee." "From India?" "Shit, I've gotta get me a crowbar." "So, James, do you still hunger for cock?" "Having already horribly fucked up once, I finished my purchase." "Let's get up high." "A pie?" "You hush. You're in Hell." "I don't have a lot in the way of human morals to ground me, and I'm an asshole." "With what teachers get paid, you give the money back to the unconcious man that tried to kill you?" "I think we've f'd the ineffable plan." "The full revelatory form of Lucifer Lightbringer is...not something a figurine of Doctor Octopus can do justice. |
| From my Silver Age Sentinels game: "We either need to get you a boyfriend or a catalog." "Who would think a bad-ass assassin would be working in a titty bar?" "I couldn't possibly pull a grenade out of my ass, could I?" "The creature, still blind with...blindness..." "That's why I don't call you by your first name." "What, Jackass?" "Does Satan eat there?" "She's obsessed with the McFarland brothers." "Maybe she was a sheep in a previous life." "I heard 'donut-plicity'." "I'm a stuffer." "Don't touch my book!" "The tables have turned. Luke is now a hamster." "We have demonic chickens, so...trump?" "Easy, Tigra." "I don't want to fuck a rodent today, but Luke, I'd make an exception for you." "Gentech goons don't got no faces." "Look at her boobs gleaming!" "I didn't hear 'strap-on', did I?" "But then I can't read the building!" "Don't hurt me, fake gorilla." "Why don't you make a 'chain fuckers' roll?" "I'm gonna see how brave they are. I'm gonna whip out my..."(laughter ensues) "Thank God, pictures don't lie." "Sheep do." "Oh, there was Power Usage going on, but it was to protect the sanctity of my behind." "To the pickup of justice!" "Why does everybody in La-La Land know me?" "Did you fail that roll?" "Yep." "Good. I'd hate for this to go smoothly." "Superheroes don't whimper." "They do if they have a plan." "The last porn I rented was half-porn, half-game, and it pissed me off because I couldn't find the damn chocolate to get the girl to sleep with me." "Oh, right, the Nerd Cyclone. How to turn Luke into a chinchilla." "She should know better than to fuck with me. I throw people out of windows." "I'm waiting for my nemesis to show up and be the Cheese Grater." "Stop spanking your sandwich!" "I'm not spanking it, I'm wiping it!" "God damn it, you beat me to the fuzzy thing." "George Cassada, you fuckin' douchebag." "Oh, my God! They've got DONUTS!" "Do not put your socks in the fireplace." "I just want to see you beat him to death with your slipper." "Do you have any idea how long that would take?" "We've got chicken coming." "I'm in bat-kittycat-walk-around-human form." |
| From the first Cat game: "I'm not fat, I'm just furry." "You sniff my butt?" "Yes." "I'll dig. You take a poop." "It's like furries without the zippers." "Oh, my God. It's the Breakfast Club with cats." "An Asian hamster?" "Aged!" "I don't know if I want to do her or be her." "This is why you guys game with us." "Because of maggots?" |
| From the second Cat game: "Roll Face + Lightbulb." "You realize you'll be licking coyote balls off your claws for at least a week?" |
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