| Quotes: The Ohio-ing, Con't |
| From my Orpheus chronicle: "There's an angel in my pants!" "Where are you these days? Are you a human? A cell phone?" "According to the Thing, it's clobberin' time!" "I don't know if we should leave him sleeping with all these little kids around, because kids like to shove things up people's noses." "Dead men don't give giraffes..." "Blowjobs." "He came, he bit, he ran. It was a bite and run." "A Backstreet-Boy-in-black." "What, a BiB?" "What happened?" "I pulled a you." "Oh, bad good die!" "How many women can claim they've had sex on a riding lawn mower?" "A Chrisobel?" "Yes. It's like a decibel, only stupider." "She wants you to throw the pig." "I'm checking out his package. Anything happening down south?" "I don't care how prepared, weird or high you are. An ethereal floating face should at least give you pause." "I can only imagine how much pleasure that would give you." "What, tofu? "Did you pull that out of your nipple?" "Homina, homina, homina, boof! - type of stuff." "You do the hokey-pokey and you turn the corpse around..." "Are you the opposite of milk?" "Yeah, I think we're in the fuck-me suite." "The resurrected Buffy did not eat brains." "Why are you eating popcorn off Bill?" "Didn't you see Harry-fuckin'-Potter?" "Ooh! Ooh! Government! Government!" "I'm becoming a physical specimen to behold." "Farm people make good breakfast." "What, you gonna cook 'em up?" "You're in the body of a 15-year-old boy." "I masturbate." "If you mention Dragonball Z again in Orpheus context, I will spork your fucking eyes." "My wolf-demon has nipple rings." "The pink one, not wanting to waste its attack, sinks its unholy fangs into your spongy pink ass." "I got my ass kicked, so I took some aspirin." "Quickly! Do nothing!" "Watch your language around the dead child!" "Defend what remains of my honor!" "Were they like the dude that I saw eating the giraffe?" "What if the meter maid finds us? Oh, God!" "Red delicious apples, I like those. I don't like semen." "You wouldn't be the first person to park his meat at an hourly hotel." "Why would we want to stop in front of snipers?" "He's had his arm ripped off by She-Bitch Whatsherfuck." "If somebody dies before me, I'm gonna be pissed." "So he looks like Ray Liotta and John Travolta had a baby." "That's another reason I wanted to beat you. You died before me." "Ha-ha, SUCK IT!" "You're a combination of Pimp My Ride and This Old House." "Fuck the bacon-demon." "What should I do next?" "Save me!" "I was just thinking about being penitent." "Can I possess toast?" "Jesus is the anti-zombie." "Does that mean we have to shoot him in the foot?" "Now she's dead, she's finding ways to die." "Snap out of it? She's a Spectre, dumbass!" "How much Vitality would you like to spend on your condom?" "It's like combining the Sphere of Annihilation with a Bag of Holding." "You are such a geek!" "I understood it, that's worse." "We're gonna tell Gramma we're a fruit tray." |
| From Jeff's Exalted chronicle: Characters: Cathak Resu, Eclipse (played by Pam Collins) Dammerick, Dawn (played by Laura Kelley) Desden, Night (played by Brendan Michna) Jay, Night (played by Keith McMillin) Jale, Twilight (played by me) "It's probably the worst place in the world to Exalt. But it's fun." "She's my Ally. She can't hate me." "I can easily describe my character: naked!" "Well, then we're in the same boat, so we should go get in that boat and leave." "Someone needs to hit me so I can Exalt." "There's enough gender-bending going on in this chronicle already." "I haven't even broken my anima sweat." "I don't know if you should eat things that fall off of lepers." "Hey, Jay. Want to take a look at my bag of goodies?" "I do not have a problem with that, because I'm about to kill her." "You really shouldn't listen to the Twilight, 'cause then you won't get plotted." "I say we mug him." "Yeah, it's not like he has any Dodge Charms." "I'd be chocolate, except it's not a metal." "Why should I give you an experience point?" "Because I'm making guinea pig noises." "She was, at one point, like you. An Eclipse." "Oh, I thought you meant 'a total bitch'." "I have better nipples." "Why, did you take more dots?" "Humans don't expode without explosions." "I want to banish my weapon and use Hammer-on-Iron, because I get to punch undead birds." "That would suck to Exalt and still be plump." "Soulsteel doesn't seem to be a very positive thing." "We would ask that you stop making things appear." "We're going to get some panthers?" "Answers! We're going to get some answers!" "How many of these monkey-people are with us?" "On Resu's tombstone: Eaten by monkeys for doing a spider." "Someone has to get his collar off." "And?" "Put it on." "And?" "Proclaim themselves the Big Woogie." "Why do we need techno? Because he's being tortured?" "Every time you say an anachronism, Raksi eats a kitten." "Kittens are like ponies, they grow into horses." |
| From my Mage: The Awakening chronicle, Murder in the Pines: The Characters: Midnight (Mastigos, Guardians of the Veil, played by Aaron) Bolg (Obrimos, Adamantine Arrow, played by Mike) Shabriri (Acanthus, Mysterium, played by Branden) Jocelyn (Acanthus, Free Council, played by Robin) Falstaff (Thyrsus, Adamantine Arrow, played by Rob) Hades (Moros, Mysterium, played by Thomas) "Can you tell the demon in your library to use a coaster?" "I was going to burn these, but if you wish to digest them instead..." "He says the trees are bleeding." "Fuck you. Not camping." "Lydia, would you beat that raven to death, please?" "My hummus brings all the boys to the yard." "You know, I really don't know how to talk to serial killers." "Does that guy have a cornucopia coming out of his butt?" "There are things in the Collection that are dangerous." "Like those rollerblades?" "Sorry, I had nipples on the brain." "Brokeback Darkseid. How do I quit you, Awesome Android?" "Why did you put butter on your character sheet?" "The most frightening, terrifying things you can think of are in there." "In that van?" "I'm the only chick in the Abode of Demons." |