[9:31 AM]

I dont know how, but I've been feeling impatient with everything...I want to do something different. On Uni, the employees went on strike, and we are not having classes (we are on vacations now). But I am missing doing something different. I was about to do an english course, but money is short right now and I gotta pay for the digital photo machine fixing. I can say things are not on their best days.
I got news from Aline. She is on the post-grad (MD) on Molecular Biology at Unifesp (one of my dreams). I believe I'll follow her steps. I have subscribed myself to a subject at Biology: Molecular Biology. And the teacher is Gustavo's wife. That isn't bad, coz she is nice
As far as I know, yesterday happened the test for the post-grad courses. But I dont know if fer was there. Plus, I am feeling that something weird is happening: I sent him an email. He answered to it, ok, but it was a small reply. Ok again. But the "but" is that he didnt tell me all the stuff. A few days later I'd got his reply, tchu said he wrote to her and said he was working on a Pharmacy. And he said he would be in the city. He went to filo's bar and Evandro's lunch (all of them we disencountered each other..in the last one, Ma and I were on the bus stop, and he was comming in our direction leading to eba's house. And, while I was in the house, I thought: "it's past 5pm, so I think i'll go because I dont believe he is comming at all". I will believe in Jorge from now on...he said fer goes even if it takes longer, or wherever he is, if he say so, he does do. Sometimes I believe he doesnt want to talk to me, you know, to do the same as I have done too (get away to forget). But I dont really know what he is up to. I was talking to the girls and possibly they'll make a pingao on Thrusday. That would be THE day. They also believe that fer's birthday is on July7th, but I know it was on June 23rd ( I know that for sure, coz I remember we were talking on lab and he said so, plus I've found some info about him on icq, and his bd was marked as that day)
the bad thing about that pingao is that it'll be a big one because it'll be a birthday of another friend of ours of the next building, so many ppl will be there and I wont be able to talk to him in private. But I'm still considering it. Lets see what will happen, but I am trying to have no expectations on that day, and of course I will dance and drink a lot, i am even considering buying a sweet cigarrette for that day. It's kinda expensive, but I am considering doing it anyway

{posted by a sunflower}

[10:11 AM]

I had created a post, but I've lost it somewhere....whatever....
I was continuing all that Carnival episode...let's go:
It was a Monday. We were on Tchu's house, having a few beers, and we decided to play a game where whoever loses the round, he/she had to drink a glass of rum. I dont have to say that I had a few of them (laughs). After that, we dressed up and headed to that same saloon again (I took a picture of us before we left). There it was fun that day, but less than the day before...maybe because of all that happened in the last time.
There we were, dancing. And it just happened.
But the worst part was comming when we were back - it was around 5:30am - he asked me if I had enjoyed spending the time with him, and obviously the answer was yes. He said he did felt the same, but he was confused because there was that unsolved thing between him and that girl. I asked what was going on between them. He said they were communicating each other via email, and what happened was something like if they were in a relationship, something strong. Then all I thought was why did he decided to stay with me. I didnt asked a thing but he said that he wasnt thinking on here while with me - I still have a big doubt about it. He also said that what happened between us was something to be considered in the future. I dont have to say how bad I was feeling that time. And that was the end. The days after there were kinda weird, but nothing impossible to be faced up.
There were days that me and our common friends were together, and he kept saying things about her. I dont know if they are still communicating each other. Sometimes I think about asking him, but I dont want him to think I am running after him. It's hard to see him every single day and forget about him - that happened exactly with D.


{posted by a sunflower}

[1:01 AM]

{guilt?}
Time passed....lots of things happened. I'm still alive, thank God.
About the carnival....well....we stayed. If I write everything in details...I would have to separate in 5 chapters....but as I want to write them here.....lets start with the 1st:

-Carnival-
We left Rib heading to sao joaquim. There, we left to orl in the same night. We danced a lot, but in that day not any interesting stuff hapenned. Ok, I met F's parents, they are cute, plus a brother (not his twin...he's got a twin!)
Then, in the 2nd day (Sat) , we've heard on tv that there was a shooting and a person was shot. So we decided not to go there. We went to a saloon-club there (paid one). I had a very good time, I danced a lot and in that day, I felt a different feeling between us. He danced near me, then we stopped and I sat down, and put my head on his legs. Then we left. When we arrived at tchu house, we realized the doors were closed. We laid down under the bus stop until she arrived. But, nothing happened and the girls thought that we had stayed coz we disappeared.
In the day before, nothing new...only the guys pissing me and him off, because of the shower thing, but it was funny.
Then, on Mon.....well..I'll need to tell later...gotta sleep....

Jewel - Intuition

{posted by a sunflower}

[12:58 AM]

Em casa.....esta semana foi movimentada. A Jana mudou de ap. A Ma volltou segunda, depois de passar a semana "desaparecida". Encontrei com o Dan e a Fla'. Consegui esta'gio na bioqui'mica. Nao vou ter aula de sa'bado.
Pra falar a verdade tou com preguica de escrever. Amanha volto pra RP pra completar o horario da pro-aluno, e dai viajar com o povo. Espero que o meu karma nao va dessa vez!

{posted by a sunflower}

[3:53 PM]

{not in the mood}
De repente as nuvens escuras baixaram lá no apto. Tudo começou com essas coisas de ter que mudar, sair do ap. Mas vamos começar do começo :)
Depois do almoço de ontem, começamos a conversar sobre as vagas no creu, o apto, a triagem, esses tipos de coisa. O assunto Jana nao teve como não ser tocado, pq ela vai ter que sair se ela pegar oficial do processo seletivo. Discutimos como ela poderia fazer e tal. Dai eu e a Fer chegamos na conclusão de conversar a tarde com ela, já que o problema era no quarto e a gente tb tinha a intençao de ajuda-la a procurar alguma soluçao ou uma alternativa junto com ela. Mas, precipitadamente, a Rose falou que caso ela não conseguisse um ap, que a Jana poderia morar com ela, que ela (Rose) ia falar com a Raylla a respeito. O problema disso tudo foi que a Rose chegou tão de repente com a Jana que parecia que eu e a Fer estavamos fazendo complo e falando mal por trás da Jana. Logicamente que eu - e a Fer tb - ficamos com muita raiva desse episodio e decidimos que no primeiro momento que surgisse oportunidade, falariamos com as duas sobre isso.
Hoje, vim com a Jana de manha pra pró-aluno, pra ver o blog dela e essas coisas, almoçamos juntas e qdo voltamos pro apto, a Gi e a Marcia estavam discutindo, a Gi quase chorando. Sentei junto com elas e aproveitar que a Rose estava lá tb pra juntar e por td em pratos limpos. Contamos pra Rose sobre o que tinhamos achado da situaçao, e saber do pq ela ter se precipitado tanto. Mas no final as coisas de certa forma se acetaram entre a gente. Mas nao entre nós e a Jana, e entre a Gi e a Ma. A Jana ficou chorando na sacada do quarto, inconsolável. Tentamos falar com ela, mas nada, ela so balancava a cabeça. E a Gi ainda veio me acusar que eu tinha falado sobre a nossa conversa com a Márcia, qdo tudo o que eu conversei ontem a noite com a Marcia foi sobre a opiniao dela sobre a minha roupa! Fiquei tao brava! Ai juntou tudo: a situação da Jana e isso da Gi. Fiquei triste e com raiva de tudo o que estava acontecendo. E ainda estou. O estranho e que foi tudo muito de repente, essa confusão, mal entendido..de uma hora pra outra. A bomba resolveu estourar justo agora. Mas tambem não que esteja acontecendo algo especial, mas é ferias e a gente estava planejando o carnaval. Agora já nem sei como serão as coisas com isso dai.

{posted by a sunflower}

[1:17 AM]

{I hate sundays}
I do hate Sundays. There is absolutely nothing to do. I watched tv all day, washed some clothes and made up my nails. Nothing else.
I opened my icq tonight and Jana left me a message: "I've got things to tell you". I can say that the message left me incredibly curious, but I can predict what's that about. Yeah....I betcha he had already asked her to date him, if he is that predictable (mmmm...he is --> just like he made with Fernanda....after staying with her one time, in the next he wanted to date her, but she said no). Like Day said: "he is shooting everywhere". I have to agree with her. I am strongly feeling that nothing will happen between us. Or the news Jana wants to give me is that both Vanessas are going with us for the Carnival. If that happens, I'll strongly consider the possibility of not going. I will.

Incubus - I Miss You

{posted by a sunflower}

[3:42 PM]


Que estilo musical você odeia?



{posted by a sunflower}