Roma sighed and moved her head back and forward while the stop bar at the entrance of the Moon Water set parking lot was lifted to allow her to come in. She was now four and a half months pregnant and she was still having trouble in sleeping. Usually her clock would wake her up when she was barely starting to rest and today it hasn’t been the exception. She drove slowly towards her parking place, stopped her car and grabbed the big bag with her personal things before she ceded to a yawn that she couldn’t stifle. She didn’t notice her heavy bag descending over the steering wheel until the sound of the horn made her jump.

"HOLLY SMOKES!" someone shouted near by and Roma quickly looked around to find a blond tall man right in front of her car. He had a hand on his chest while the other supported his weight on the hood. His ragged breath let her know the horn had scared the death out of him.

"Oh, my! Did I startle you?" she managed to get out of the car as soon as she could. "I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!" Only then she looked at his green eyes. They seemed warm, sincere and slightly mischievous, just enough to make them charming.

"You know, I’m here to play an angel of death for what I’ve been told, but right now the angel of death is half dead!" he joked and smiled when he saw the little brunette woman chuckling. ‘She has a beautiful smile’, he thought. "I’m John Dye."

"Hi, I’m Roma Downey," she shook hands with him. "I guess you’re the guest actor we’re having this week, you’ll be this new angel, Andrew."

"Yes, I’ll be Andrew, and then you’re Monica!"

"Yes, I am," she replied with a wide smile, her previous tiredness now forgotten. "I’m really sorry for..."

John waved a hand to stop her. "Oh, never mind! I’m glad to meet you anyway." In less than one minute he was having trouble in taking his eyes off that woman. He liked her smile, her accent, the way her brown eyes shined almost shyly. He had the feeling this was going to be a job he’d remember forever.

"I’m glad to meet you too..." she answered and moved to get her bag to start to walk towards the main entrance of the set.

"Oh, please, allow me..." John quickly said taking the heavy bag. "Gee, I thought angels didn’t need so much stuff!"

Roma chuckled again, now feeling perfectly comfortable with the new "angel". "Oh, we’ll talk in the next episode you film! I really hope to see you here for more than this week..."

John’s heart skipped a beat after her words. He certainly would be looking forward to come back and see her again. "You know... I’ll be more than glad to come back too. Maybe the angel of death could come and say hi to the other angels eventually..." he added pushing the door open for her in a kind gesture she liked a lot.

"Yes, maybe. Tess and Monica would be pleased..."

*

"Are you going to carry that heavy bag every day?" a voice said behind Roma before she felt the weight being lifted from her shoulder when she was leaving the set that day at night.

"Well, yes, I do," she shoot him a friendly smile that only matched the butterflies she still felt around him.

He walked her to her car and opened the door for her before placing the bag in the rear seat. "Then I’ll wait for you here tomorrow," he blinked an eye at her, closed her door and blew her a kiss before walking to his own car.

"See you tomorrow..." she murmured seeing him walk.

***

"Come in," Roma replied to a soft knock on the door of her hospital room. She was exhausted after 15 hours of labor but having her little girl in her arms had been worth it all.

"A little something for the two most beautiful ladies in the world!" a voice that she knew now well announced behind an enormous bouquet of pink roses.

A warm smile welcomed John when he placed the roses on a table and approached his co-worker with the finest teddy bear. "Hello there, little princess," he said moving the bear in front of the baby, "this is Alice and we came to meet you." As if she really knew he was talking to her, the little baby opened her still blind eyes for the first time.

That gesture made Roma released a sob and only then John noticed the shining paths of tears on her cheeks. "Roma, are you ok?" he asked genuinely worried, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he wiped her tears away.

"I’m fine, Johnnie, thank you," she whispered with a faint smile. After less than five months of knowing him, she now knew how kind he was and she felt so comfortable with him that at that moment she was happy he was there. "I guess this has been an emotional day," she tried to joke.

Moved to see her in such an state of mind, John took a seat on the bed at her side so he could see the baby easily. "Where’s David?" he asked only then noticing his absence. "I thought the proud daddy would be here, drooling about this gorgeous lady," he reached to stroke the baby’s cheek with the back of his index. She then made one of those baby sounds that make every people smile.

"I guess she already knows her uncle Johnnie," Roma stated looking at him with teary eyes and deciding to ignore his question about her husband.

"U-uncle Johnnie?" he stuttered a little surprised by the title. He turned to see Roma nodding. "Well, I’ll be honored to be her uncle! And as a good uncle I will always look after her... after both of you."

"I know..." she replied softly, "that’s why I chose you..."

They stayed there looking at each other for a long minute, lost of words until the baby moaned again. Clearing his throat, John then asked, "Have you decided about her name?"

"I want to call her Reilly... like my mother’s last name. Reilly Marie..." her voice cracked at the end and she sobbed again. John then wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest, his chin resting on her head. "How I wish she could be here with me today to teach me to be a good mother, Johnnie! I’m so afraid of not knowing what to do!"

"Roma, no! You’ll do great, I’m sure!" he said kissing the top of her head. "You’ll know exactly what to do and you know why? Because you love her! Because you wanted a baby daughter to give her all the love that your mom could not give you! You’ll do it just fine and besides what are we for, huh? Della and me" he squeezed her lightly and rubbed her arm lovingly until she stopped crying.

"Are you telling me you have experience with babies, Mr. Dye?" she teased him feeling much more relieved now.

"Four nephews, two godsons, I’m an authority on the field!" he joked.

"You are, huh? Well, let’s see..." she then moved to handle him the little baby.

A little insecure but trying not to prove her wrong, the blond actor took his new "niece" in arms and, standing up from the bed, he started to rock her carefully. "Hey, little Reilly! Has someone already told you you’re as beautiful as your mommy?" As if she had understood his words, the baby opened again her eyes in an endearing gesture.

"Thank you," Roma blushed a little at his words. "Though I guess I’ve looked better than today..."

"Never!" he stated firmly and looked directly at her brown eyes. "You’ve never look more beautiful than today, Roma, because today you look as the prettiest new mother in the world."

Another tear made its way along her cheek as his words caused a strange emotion to invade her heart, but she swiped it as the noise of the opening door made both actors turn.

"Hey, there’s the proud dad!" John exclaimed seeing David coming in.

"Hi, John," he replied not very enthusiastically. "You’re here meeting the little princess?"

"Yeah, and we’re getting along just fine!" When the man didn’t seem to appreciate his comment, nor the fact that he had his daughter in arms, he realized he had to get going. "Well, I better leave you alone. You need to rest, Roma." He kissed Reilly’s forehead tenderly and then kissed the actress cheek unable to resist it after he had handled her the baby. "I’ll call you later to know how you’re doing and I’ll visit you some time if it’s ok, all right?"

"Thanks for the flowers and the teddy bear, Johnnie," Roma said and he smiled at her.

"Congratulations, David, you have a beautiful family," the actor said shaking hands with the man.

"Thanks, John, see you soon."

John only nodded and left the room.

***

John frowned with concern as he saw Roma hide her face behind the pages of her script. They were about to shoot the last scenes of the episode "Something blue" and Tess, Andrew and Monica had to tell Alison and Kevin to invite God to their wedding so they could be together forever. Yet, the blond actor had observed his co-star during all the week and he knew there was something wrong with her. Yes, she was smiling and joking but she was also pulling away from he and Della in regard to her personal life. There wasn’t a single person in the crew that didn’t adore Reilly and he knew she was more than happy with her daughter so that was not part of the problem. He kept on seeing her a little until he decided he had to talk to her.

"Roma?" he offered softly taking a seat beside her on the bench where she was seating. He wasn’t prepared to what he saw: she raised her head and he saw the shinning paths of her tears, her brown eyes with the most desperate and pleading look he had ever seen in them. "Baby, what is it?!" he asked truly alarmed, his heart beating wildly.

"Johnnie..." she whispered. "I-I..." she sighed heavily trying to control herself. "Nothing..." she started to wipe her tears away but the way her hands were trembling told him it couldn’t be "nothing".

"Roma..." he took her hands between his, "tell me..."

The sincerity in his green eyes talked more than the sweetness in his voice, and for a long second she couldn’t break his gaze. The Irish actress let out a long, shaky sigh. "Not here, please," she stood up and he followed her towards the path that ran across the garden where the "wedding" would take place. They walked a couple of minutes, John a step behind Roma, until they stopped at the bridge over the little lake where some ducks and swans floated peacefully. He saw her leaning over the banister, her shoulders so stiff as nervous were her hands playing with her script. A new tear rolled over her cheek and John offered her his handkerchief, gently removing the script and putting it away. "Thank you..." she murmured, her eyes focused on the white piece of clothe.

He let her deal with what was in her mind for a couple of minutes before he coaxed her to talk. "Two weddings in just three chapters. Seems like a nice topic for them, huh?"

"Yeah..."

"They must bring good memories to you... Della told me your wedding was beautiful..." She couldn’t drown the sob that escaped her at his words and what she knew then was that John was tilting her head to make her see him. "Roma, tell me please! I don’t like to see you this way!" He was gently swiping her tears with his thumbs and little by little she calmed herself. He longed to hold her tightly but the way she was crying told him she might not appreciate what would be their first hug.

"My wedding was beautiful but... things now are not how I thought they would be! How am I supposed to say ‘Invite God to your wedding so you’ll stay married forever’ if...?" she took a deep breath and looked away before she could finish, "... if my own marriage is falling apart?"

This piece of news surprised John as it was worse than he had imagined. "What, Roma? But you two look so happy together! And with Reilly... What happened?"

"He’s changed so much... Some days he’s happy and great and the next one he’s so sad or angry that I can’t make anything to please him! What can I do, John?!"

"Roma... you’re not supposed to be pleasing him..." he offered softly. "That’s not how it works!"

"You don’t understand, Johnnie! I want this to last, I want us to be together forever, for Reilly, for me! But truth is that I can barely seem to make it through the day! What did I do wrong, John?"

The way her hazel eyes were looking at him made him want to be able to give her an answer and that answer to be she hadn’t done anything wrong, but he couldn’t. Instead he cupped her cheek and felt her shiver slightly. "It’s not your fault, Roma, it is not, you hear me? God, you’re a blessing, baby! You’d be the happiness of any guy on Earth!" He so wanted to tell her he’d be the happiest guy on Earth if he had her but he thought better and only reached to kiss her forehead before telling her, "I won’t rest until one day I show you what a treasure you are, Roma Downey."

His low voice and the so gentle way his hand stroked her face had Roma practically hypnotized. She couldn’t take her eyes off him and when he had touched her skin, she had felt a bolt of electricity unlike ever before. Not knowing how, her mind was wondering how it would be to have a man like him treating her the way he always treated her: with utmost respect, with a fierce tenderness that made her feel so protected... and so loved. His hand remained on her cheek and slowly she closed her eyes and leaned on his touch, allowing her heart to feel free for a little while.

John seemed to read all this as when she leaned on his hand, he carefully wrapped his free arm around her waist while the other moved to the back of her head to pull her into a loving hug. He felt how she wrapped her arms around his own back, her cheek resting on his chest and her small hands clutching tightly to his shirt.

Roma’s heart started to beat faster, but for once she felt completely safe, calm and comfortable. While her stomach was full with butterflies, her skin felt like set on fire in the most pleasant way she had so far knew. His arms around her felt wonderful, almost natural and she let go a sigh of relief.

"I’m always here for you, baby," he murmured after a little while, kissing the top of her head. "Know that I’ll always be here."

And for a moment, there, lost in his arms, she allowed herself to believe it.

***

"...It’s ok then. No, don’t worry, I’ll see it. Yes... take care. Thank you..." John head Roma talking by phone while she paced nervously. He could clearly see she was upset, so he stood around to ask what was wrong.

"Nothing, John, don’t worry," she had replied.

"Roma..." he said pacing a hand on her shoulder. "You’re a great actress... but a lousy liar. Now tell me."

Roma smiled and let out a small chuckle in defeat. When had he learned to know her so well? "Reilly’s nanny is sick. She can’t take care of her at night and I didn’t want to have her here during the night’s filming. She has a light flu and I didn’t want her to get worse..." she sighed again, "but I guess I have no choice..."

"No, you don’t have to have her here!" he said and Roma looked at him in surprise. "I can take her home. I’m over with my scenes today!"

Roma was immediately shaking her head, "No, Johnny, you don’t have to..."

"Don’t you trust me with her? I can take care of her, I promise!"

"But, Johnny..."

"Hey..." he said cupping her chin lovingly. "Stop worrying so much. Trust us, trust me! I’ll take care of Reilly and you can stay to finish your scenes. What are friends for, huh?" He crossed his arms and pretended to be a little hurt. "If you don’t let me help you, I’ll believe you don’t think of me as a good friend."

Roma met his emerald eyes and in their playful sparkle, she saw he had defeated her. "Thank you..." she murmured.

His answer was to kiss her forehead and pull her in a tight hug. "You’re more than welcome, sweetheart." He was about to pull apart but she tightened her hold on him subtly so he kept on holding her a little longer, enough for her to let her heart rejoice in the sensation she had whenever he hold her.

***

Roma got into her trailer and threw herself on her sofa. She was exhausted, so she took out her high heels shoes and let her toes move freely for the first time in hours. After barely three or four minutes resting there, she stood up, took her bag and coat and didn’t bother in changing her clothes, as what she wanted was to be back home as soon as possible. The idea of driving home at 10.30 in the night in a short skirt didn’t like her a lot, but just thinking about her one year old baby girl made her forget any fear. She felt relieved that John was taking care of her, he always did all the kind of things she would have never expected him to do, and that usually came to be a surprise for her. The young actress was walking to the parking lot, some people of the staff still around, when she saw a man walking towards her as soon as she crossed the door. Her heart started to beat faster and she was about to scream when the man called her. "Mrs. Downey? I’m Charlie!"

"Oh, Charlie, hi!" she responded visibly breathing hard. She knew him, this man was John’s driver occasionally, he was always with her blond co-star when they had a very busy week or when they filmed outside the set or the city.

"I’m sorry if I startled you! I didn’t mean it! But I had to be sure I didn’t miss you..."

Suddenly, Roma’s heart started to beat faster again. "Did John send you? Reilly! Is she ok?!"

"Calm down, Mrs. Downey!" the man said friendly. "She’s alright. Mr. Dye called the doctor just to be sure and the sweet baby is at home sleeping peacefully. Mr. Dye asked me to come pick you up and take you home." He smiled feeling what was behind the blond actor’s concern for her. "He doesn’t want you to go back alone."

Roma then saw John’s black car in his usual place, waiting for her, and her heart swelled with thankfulness and something else she couldn’t define yet but that all of a sudden took the form of a tear that she wiped away quickly while she followed Charlie to the car.

In barely 15 minutes, Charlie pulled up by Roma’s house and the door was open a minute later, John standing at the side, welcoming her.

"Johnny..." she murmured when they were close.

"Hey, sweetie, I’m glad you’re home," he said in a low voice reaching to hug her briefly. "How was the night?"

"Horrible," she replied taking her coat out and then revealing to him that she was still using the clothes she had been wearing in the scene. "We had to repeat it almost ten times..."

"I see..." he replied examining her from head to toe and smiling to see her still as "Monica". She had to play a prostitute and she was wearing a very short skirt... that allowed John to admire her well toned legs.

She caught his gaze and punched him on the arm jokingly, in mocking indignation though she was smiling: it felt so good to be admired by someone like John. "Where’s Reilly?"

"Upstairs, sleeping like a little angel," he said wrapping an arm around her shoulders guiding her to the nursery. "I called her doctor and he came to see her. He said it’s nothing to be worried, just a little flu." He opened the door quietly and brightened the room. "That’s the medicine he ordered. Since she took it, she’s been sleeping peacefully."

Roma reached a hand to touch her daughter’s forehead and sighed in relief when she realized the slight fever of the afternoon was gone. "Thanks Father," she murmured. "And thank you, Johnny..." She met his eyes and they fascinated her as she had discovered they did lately. "I- I don’t know how to thank you."

"There’s nothing to thank, sweetie. I wish I could always be here for you..." He blushed lightly when he realized what he had said, yet he kept his gaze locked with hers.

Roma’s eyes widened briefly at his words but at the same time she felt pleasantly delighted. John had remained silent, contemplating her and after a long minute, he cupped her face lovingly and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek twice, feeling her shivering with that simple gesture. "Whenever you need me, Roma, know that you can count on me. Now go get changed, dinner’s ready."

"Dinner, Johnny?" she asked genuinely surprised. He had always told her and Della he was a good cook, but he had never proved it.

"Yep. And I haven’t eaten either. Go get something more comfortable. I’ll set the table," he said touching her nose with his index.

She saw him going out of the nursery and sighed, a strange peace invading her. John was so different to any other man she had ever met and she thought she would never find somebody so gentle and loving like him. Just once she had known someone like him... her own father.

John frowned in concern when he saw a man he didn’t know standing behind the cameras while they were getting ready to film. He saw how Roma looked at him and nodded slightly, and that bothered him more. He turned to see his co-worker and she avoided his gaze, fidgeting clearly after that.

They went through the scene quite easily and he wanted to talk to Roma before she went with the man, but the director called him and he saw her meeting him and disappearing towards her dressing room. When he finally got rid of the director, he wanted to look for Roma again. Who was that man? She hadn’t mentioned she was meeting someone and the secret bothered him.

He walked towards the dressing rooms when Della appeared on his way. "Hey, baby, where are you going?"

"Oh, Della, I... I wanted to go talk to Roma. Have you seen her?"

Della looked at him for a long second before she wrapped an arm around one of his pulling him away from Roma’s room. "Yes, I have, but I know you can’t disturb her now..."

"Della, something’s wrong! What’s going on with her?" his tone of voice was almost frantic. It was obvious Della knew what was going on and it bothered him to feel they were not trusting him.

"Love juice..." the older actress started, making him go inside her own dressing room. "I can’t talk to you. Roma will, I’m sure."

"Della, please, I NEED to know! I’m going crazy thinking about a thousand things!"

"John, listen to me," the woman said abandoning the mother-like tone. "Roma asked me not to tell you as she wants to be the one telling you. She trusts you! But I can tell you that she’s going to need us a lot. She’s going to need YOU a lot. You can offer her something I can’t..."

"What is it, Della? You know I’ll do anything..." he said stopping his anxious pacing.

"I know and you’ll know what she needs from you at the right time. And nobody will have to tell you. You’ll know by yourself because I know you care about her..."

"I do, Della!" he said locking his eyes with his friend’s. "I care bout her! So much I’d do everything! I can’t see her suffering this much anymore! It’s been months now! And..."

"And that’s why I’m telling you she’ll need you! Just promise me, John, that you are not going to let her down..."

Although the need of reassurance bothered him a little, John saw the fierce protectiveness towards the Irish actress in Della’s eyes. "How could I, Della?" he asked in response. "I care so much about her that I’d do whatever it takes to see her smile again..."

Della reached a hand to squeeze one of his. "I know, baby, and I thank God for that..."

John closed Della’s dressing room exactly at the time when Roma’s door was opened and the man he had seen before appeared there followed by the young actress, who smiled nervously when she saw him. The blond actor walked towards them, not missing Roma’s nervousness. And the man didn’t miss it either as he looked from Roma to John and to Roma again. "Well, Roma, don’t worry. I’ll call you as soon as I have it all ready, ok?"

"O-ok," Roma stuttered, John already standing at her side. "Thank you again."

"You’re more than welcome." Seeing that John wasn’t leaving them, he excused himself. "I have to go. Don’t worry, I’ll see myself out." He shook hands with her. "Bye."

John waited for the man to go before he turned to see Roma and despite the pleading look in her eyes, he didn’t want to wait more. "Is there something wrong, Roma?" he asked in a friendly tone placing a hand on his shoulder and running it down to her arm.

"Johnny..." she murmured hardly controlling her tears.

"Baby, if there’s something I can do for you, anything at all..." he assured her, his green eyes reflecting his true concern. "Please, Roma, you have always trusted me..."

Her sight locked with his, finally a tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "I don’t want to talk here, Johnny, please." She sighed deeply. "Can you come home today, for dinner? D-David is out of town..."

By the way she had pointed her husband would not be present, the blond actor knew David was the origin of Roma’s current state. He knew they had problems, she had trusted him more than once with all her concerns as if spending twelve hours a day with her wasn’t enough for him to read on her face that her life was not perfect. "Of course, baby," he replied pulling her closer for a reassuring hug, the sigh she released making its way directly to his heart. "I’ll take the dessert," he added wanting to get at least a faint smile from her.

**

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring..." John sang quietly to an already sleeping Reilly that was lying on her mother’s arms that night at the actress’ dinning room. He used to sing to the baby when he wasn’t the one rocking her to sleep. He liked to sing and didn’t do it bad at all; it made him felt part of Roma and Reilly’s life, something he would cherish more than his own lifetime.

"It worked... as always," Roma said when she saw her baby girl fast asleep. "Thank you, Johnny."

"You’re welcome, sweetie", he whispered reaching a hand to caress lightly the baby’s soft hair. "Why don’t you take her to bed? I’ll wait for you..."

He didn’t miss how Roma immediately tensed when he remarked they had a talking waiting for them, but she agreed and stood up. John stood up too, still caressing Reilly’s head and leaned down to kiss her temple. "Sleep well, my little princess, I love you so much," he whispered.

It wasn’t unusual on him to say so. He always called Reilly sweet names, like ‘my little princess’ or ‘my beautiful baby girl’, and for the blond actor it was an expression of a secret wish he kept well buried in his heart: that Reilly was in fact his baby girl. But for Roma those words meant something more, specially in that night. They showed how loving John was with Reilly... and how different his words were in comparison to David’s, even when directed to his own daughter.

Roma came back some minutes later, carrying the baby monitor with her. John had moved to the living room and was still sipping at his remaining coffee while he was looking at the well illuminated garden through the window. When he heard her footsteps, he turned to see her. "You haven’t told me where is David," the blond actor ventured taking a seat by her side.

"There are so many things I need to tell you, Johnny..." the Irish actress murmured avoiding his gaze.

"Then start telling me one by one, baby. I’m all ears..." he coaxed her gently reaching to take her hand.

For a long moment, Roma just kept on looking at her hand on his, feeling how warm and secure his touch was. "David will not be coming home any time soon," she finally spoke. "He... has been admitted into this clinic... to get a treatment for depression."

John tensed immediately with her words, unable to think about anything good enough to tell her. "When?" was all he could think of asking.

"Last weekend..."

"Oh, Roma, I don’t really know what to say," he met her anguished eyes, "except that I hope this is the best for him... for both of you... and for Reilly."

"I’m not sure, Johnny. All I know is that he’s not the man I fell in love with anymore..." she met his green eyes before she could murmur, "... and I can’t keep on living this way..."

Her sobs started just a second before he pulled her into a tight hug. "Roma..."

"It’s been too long, Johnnie!" she cried. "And it’s getting worse every time! One second he’s fine, the next one he says I don’t love him anymore, the next he says he has nothing to live for! He has a daughter but he doesn’t care! It’s been months since he kissed Reilly, not to mention to hold her! You’ve rocked her to sleep more times than he and he’s her father! Reilly is my very reason to live, John, but it seems she’s not to David..."

"But she is to me, baby!" the blond actor offered cupping her face and trying to swipe her tears. "I love her!"

"See? You care for her much more than him! And it’s getting worse! What can I expect not in ten years but just in one or two? That he doesn’t care about her at all? She would realize it then, she would feel her father doesn’t love her and I don’t want Reilly to live through that! I want her to always know she’s loved!"

"Baby, she certainly is! I do love her and Della loves her too! She’s like her granddaughter!"

"Yes, I know! And do you see my point? Strange people, people that is not her family love her more than her father! Tell me if that’s how it is supposed to be!"

"No, it isn’t..." he accepted and released her face to take her hands again.

"Of course it isn’t!" They remained silent for a little while, until Roma continued talking. "Reilly is my everything, John, I would do anything for her."

"Have you thought about a way to fix this? Talk to David, make him see she will need his love when she grows..."

"I have decided what to do..." she stated simply and stood up, his back to him.

There was something in the tone of her voice that almost scared him but he had to know. "Who was the man that went to see you, Roma?"

She slowly turned to see him again, her eyes fixed on his. "A lawyer. I’m filling for divorce..."

This piece of news was like a bucket of cold water for John. He knew how badly she wanted her marriage to last, that the ‘till death do us part’ would in fact mean that for her and David, and she being the one asking for divorce only could mean she had been thinking a lot and nearly desperate to decide this. "Oh, sweetheart!" he whispered before he saw her biting her lower lip before she burst in tears.

He took her hand to make her seat again and pulled her into a hug once more, his hand on her head directing her to his shoulder, to the place where she would cry the saddest hours of her life. He felt her clutching his shirt tightly, desperately seeking for strength and that was what he would give her from that moment on.

They stayed there for hours, John letting her cry in his arms for as long as she needed. He didn’t know that was the first of many nights he would do the same for her...

***

John readjusted his tie and checked on his image at the mirror again before leaving his dressing room to knock at the one right beside his. "Come in," came Roma’s sweet voice and he opened the door to see her finishing to dress her baby daughter.

"Are you ready?" he said and then corrected himself, "are you two, beautiful ladies ready?"

Roma smiled when he came to greet Reilly by kissing her small cheek. "Yes, we’re ready, handsome gentleman! Ready to celebrate I’m a year older and I have more wrinkles!"

John chuckled lightly with her, taking a chance to drink in her beautiful features. "One year older? More wrinkles? Nah... Think we’re only using the day as a pretext to have a party!" He winked at her, looking at her from head to toes: hair combed in curled locks, lips shinning with red lipstick, a black dress fitting her slim form, high shoes that made her walk swaying her hips in a way that made John gulp.

Reilly giggled and both Roma and John turned to see her. "Do you think it’s a good idea to take her with us?"

"Come on, baby, it’s very early, it’s just 6.00 p.m.!" John replied reading the slight hesitation in her dark eyes. "Besides you know everybody loves her! You won’t have a chance to think about anything but your party!"

Roma locked her eyes with his and she felt like crying, just like she had done so much recently. And John had been there all those months, holding her night after night, letting her cry for hours... Her life was destroyed; she had signed her divorce but David had kept on bugging her, now asking for their house, now for Reilly’s custody, which she would surely keep no matter what. The blond actor seemed to guess her sudden change in mood as he reached to wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her to his chest. "No sadness, Roma! This day is for you and you have to be happy!"

"I know, Johnnie... It’s just that... I lost so many things... I lost the man that loved me... I think I’ll never be happy again..." she sobbed quietly.

"No, Roma, no!" he gently squeezed her. "You will be happy soon! Gosh, you have everything to be happy again, sweetheart! You are young and pretty, and you have a beautiful daughter who deserves a happy mother!"

Roma seemed to take in his words as she kept silent for a little while, eyes tightly closed, and John’s perfume stroking her nose, comforting her. She felt him bending his head to kiss the top of her head and murmuring something like "If you only knew, baby..." but when she was about to pull apart to ask him what he had said, a knock on her door interrupted them.

"Are you guys ready?" Martha Williamson asked poking her head through the door.

"Yes, yes, Martha," John replied releasing Roma. "We’re going." He then reached to take Reilly in his arms and kissed the baby again, who immediately reached to wrap her little arms around his neck, obviously feeling protected and comfortable in his arms. Roma smiled again at her daughter, took her bag and Reilly’s diapers bag, and joined John and Martha at the door of her room.

***

"Happy birthday, Roma!" everybody shouted when they arrived to a nice small restaurant not too far from the studio. There were people from the staff, like Paula (their hairdresser) or Mark (a cameraman), the actors invited for the week, and of course Della and Franklin, all wearing paper hats as if it was a children party.

Someone took Reilly out of Roma’s arms and John put the baby a little hat too. He smiled seeing everyone hugging his co-star. She was then led to a table and he contented himself with just seeing her go.

"How is she doing?" Della’s voice interrupted John’s silent contemplation.

He sighed deeply before he could answer. "I don’t know. One minute she’s smiling, the next one she’s in tears... I can’t stand to see her that way any longer, Della! It’s been so hard for her..."

"Yes, baby, it has been too hard... To be honest I thought she’d get over more easily..." the older actress saw how he kept an eye on Roma and added purposefully, "Thanks God you’ve been there for her..."

The blond actor blushed a little and buried his hands on his pockets. "I-I... I’ve just tried to help her. To do what I had to do. I want to see her smiling again..."

Della met his green eyes for a long second and read what he wasn’t telling her. The older actress’ heart swelled with tenderness and happiness for her friends. "God bless you always, Love juice," she said pulling him down for a loving hug, "and may He give you what you’ve earned during these months."

John hugged her back not really sure if she had guessed what he hadn’t wanted to confess openly. But truth was that he needed Roma smiling again more than anything in the world.

Almost all the party, the guests kept Roma apart from John. It was so nice to be surrounded by people who was smiling and joking and having a great time that the young actress realized she hadn’t had a chance to think on her problems. By those days David had accepted to give her the divorce if he got to keep Reilly, something Roma would never ever accept. She would give up everything but her baby, that was for sure.

Roma was by then talking to Paula, her hairdresser, when she suddenly felt something was missing. Before she let the sudden wave of panic take over her heart, she took a deep breath and turned around discretely, not wanting her friend to notice her anxiety. She saw Reilly on Martha’s arms and she released the breath. No, her daughter was not the cause of the unease. She looked at the door suddenly afraid of finding David there but the host was there calmly talking to a waitress. She breathed again. What was then what was making her feel so strange?

Chuckling with Paula so she didn’t notice she wasn’t paying attention to her jokes, Roma took the chance to look around again. And she found the origin of the strange feeling the moment she saw John seating alone on a corner... just looking at her.

Their eyes met for what seemed a long, long second... "Hum... Excuse me, Paula, I’ll be back," the Irish actress told her friend. Paula looked towards John and smiled.

Roma walked towards her co-star. It was so strange. She could perfectly feel how John’s eyes were fixed on her, how he was examining her completely. It had been a long time since she had felt that way, and that made her heart beat a little faster.

John never looked away until she was a couple of feet from him. He then reached a hand that she took willingly. "What are you doing here all alone, Johnny?" Roma asked sweetly.

"I’m being happy," he replied looking at her small hand on his, his thumb caressing her knuckles. When he saw the intrigued look on her face, he explained, "I’m being happy seeing you’re happy too... seeing you so surrounded with friendship... and love."

Roma then took a seat by his side and surprised him leaning to kiss his cheek. "And it’s all thanks to you, John Dye." Their eyes met in a meaningful sight. "I know you organized all this..." she tried to explain.

"You deserve much more, Roma..." he said reaching to cup her cheek. "I so want to see you smile... There’s nothing I want more in this world..."

"Johnny..." she murmured, her eyes always fixed on his.

John felt he had fallen into a trance that didn’t allow him to pull away from her. Instead he so wanted to cross the small distance to her lips, to confess her he had fallen in love with her... But he was afraid to do it. If she pulled away and didn’t love him back... he would not bear it. He sighed and gulped to break the moment. "I.. I haven’t had the chance to give you something, sweetie," he said reaching to take something out of his pocket. "May I also hug you happy birthday?"

Roma smiled when she heard him. "God, sure!" She then stood up and stretched her arms. John wasted no time in hugging her tightly.

"Happy birthday, baby!" he murmured in her ear, kissing the upper part of her cheek and unable to resist smelling her perfume. God, how good it felt to have her in his arms!

The young actress couldn’t think of a word to thank him. He had always been so kind and wonderful with her and right now she felt... happy. Happy to be with her friends, happy to have her daughter and the one that was like her mother right there... and happy to be in John’s arms, to feel so protected and loved as he always made her feel. His perfume surrounding her, she wanted nothing but to stay there in his arms, until he pulled away slowly and then offered her a small box. Roma unwrapped the package to reveal a beautiful golden bracelet with three small diamonds in the center.

"One for each year I’ve been blessed with you," he told her in a low voice.

Roma grazed the bracelet with her fingertips, a tear forming at the corner of her eye. "I’m not sure if I’ve been much of a blessing lately..." she tried to joke.

John tilted her chin to make her see him, his face very serious. "Never ever let me hear you say that again, Roma Downey. For me you truly are a blessing, no matter what."

Roma reached a hand to cover the one of his that was cupping her cheek, reading in his eyes the seriousness of his words. His skin was as warm over hers as the meaning of his words to her heart. No matter how worthless she felt sometimes, there was always some one who thought of her as a good person.

There was silence between them for a long second not even broken by the blinking of their eyes. Everything around had disappeared leaving them alone with each other, so close to each other...

She didn’t want to think for once in her life, just feel... feel she was loved and protected... She closed her eyes and leaned on John’s touch almost unconsciously, waiting for what should come then...

"It’s cake time, guys!" Martha’s voice interrupted them and both released a sight of frustration. John took the bracelet from the box Roma still had in her hand and quickly put it on her.

"Thanks," the Irish actress smiled before they walked to the table where Martha and Della were already getting the candles ready.

John watched Roma carefully during the rest of the time they were there. After the cake, some people start leaving but also music started to sound. Words John found so appropriate to what he was feeling then... He wasn’t wrong! She was corresponding to his feelings, he was about to kiss her!!! How he wanted to do that! To show her he cared for her so much... that his life was meaningless without her by his side. He didn’t know when his feelings had changed so much, but he would fight for what he wanted...

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend.

"We can go whenever you want to," John said coming closer to Roma, "but before... Can I have a dance?"

The young actress smile told him everything. He took her hand and walked to the dance floor, circling her waist. On the other hand, she felt like she wasn’t living in the real world the moment his face was closer to hers and his arm was around her back. It was like she had become a new woman in that second, one happier, one who... had someone to love. Perhaps...

I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life.

There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for.

I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you...

***

Mothers’ day, Sunday, 6.30 p.m. A bookstore

"What?! But you said you’d have it yesterday!"

"I know, sir, but the shipment didn’t arrive, I don’t know why!"

"You should’ve called me yesterday night!"

"I’m sorry, sir, I had the hope it would arrive today during the day but..."

"It was a Mothers’ day present! Tell me what can I do now?!"

"Maybe... you could choose another book..." a very embarrassed salesman offered to the blond customer he was talking to.

"Yeah... I have no choice..." he then turned to look at other books by the front desk.

"I-I can offer you something, Mr. Dye," the salesman said timidly, recognizing the actor. "If your mother doesn’t like the book, you can change it as soon as the one you ordered arrives..."

"It is not for my mother..." he informed taking a book to examine it.

"Oh... sorry... as you said it was a Mothers’ day present..."

"But it is for someone’s else mother, not mine..." he mumbled taking another book. After some seconds he decided for the second and paid for it.

"I’ll call you as soon as I get the order, Mr. Dye. Have a nice night..." the man tried to be nice when he gave the actor the package carefully wrapped.

"Yeah, thanks... I guess I can always give her a present..."

John put the package on the back seat of his car, carefully avoiding to rest it on his jacket. He had planned an elegant dinner with the owner of the book and a wrinkle on the jacket of his nice Armani would not surely fit with his attire...

Sunday, 6.30 p.m. Roma’s house

"Now, Reilly, be a good baby. The sitter must be arriving any minute now..." Roma told her almost two-year-old daughter, who was still trying to get her mother to play with her.

"Jujie.." Reilly named her nanny.

"Julie’s gone to visit her mom, Reilly, but there’s another girl coming to take care of you..." the actress managed to make the baby release her necklace so she could go pick up the ringing phone. "Hullo... Yes, I’m Mrs. Downey. Yes, I asked for a sitter today. By seven, yes... What?! What do you mean? That you don’t have anyone available? But I called on Friday! Yes, I do need her! No, I can’t cancel! I can’t take a two-year-old to where I’m going! No, I don’t need her by ten, I need her now! What? Yes, you’re sorry... Bye!"

Even little Reilly kept silence when she saw her mother hanging up the phone very mad. Roma turned to see her and picked her up as the baby reached her little arms to her mom. "What am I going to tell Johnnie, Reilly? He insisted so much and now..."

"Daddy?" Reilly asked. It had been a little while, almost since she had started to speak, that the baby used to call John ‘daddy’, maybe because she felt it that way or because she found it too difficult to call him ‘uncle Johnnie’ as her mother had instructed her to do.

Roma felt a strange wave of electricity when her baby called John ‘daddy’. It always surprised her and unconsciously made her wonder how it would’ve been like to have John as Reilly’s father... "He’s not your daddy, popet, he’s your uncle Johnnie."

The baby eyed her mother skeptically before funnily shrugging her little shoulders as if saying ‘I don’t care what you think’. "Daddy" she repeated and Roma had no choice but to chuckle at her endearing character.

Sunday, 6.45 p.m. Somewhere by the street

John was waiting for the green light half on his way to Roma’s house when his cell phone rang. "Yeah?" he replied.

"Mr. Dye? I’m Mark Thompson, manager of the Blue Electra..." said a voice.

John understood quickly; he was the manager of the restaurant where he was planning to take Roma. "Oh, Mr. Thompson, hi! What’s happening?"

"Mr. Dye, you had a reservation with us for tonight and I’m calling you to cancel it, I’m really sorry..."

"Cancel it?! No way! Why?!" the blond actor pulled his car over so he could talk calmly.

"We have a very serious problem at the kitchen. One of our stoves exploded an hour ago because of a gas leak. We managed to control it but we cannot start a fire in any of the other stoves or ovens. I’m canceling not only yours but all the reservations..."

"Mr. Thompson, you can’t be serious! It’s mothers’ day! I’m sure you are all booked!" John tried to argue not believing this was happening.

"We were in fact, since last week, but we cannot risk our customers’ security. The Firemen department ordered us to close for today. We hope to be open by Wednesday at most again and I can book you a dinner any day you want... for free!"

John let go a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, thank you, Mr. Thompson. I’ll call you to let you know when." He ended the call and hit the steering wheel in anger. First the book and now the restaurant! What was he going to tell Roma?! He wanted to give her a nice night such as the one of her birthday only a few days ago but all his plans were messed up now. Trying to think about another place where he could still find places, he took the road again towards Roma’s house...

Roma’s house. Sunday, 7.00 p.m.

Roma was sitting on the sofa watching Reilly playing on the carpet when the doorbell rang. Knowing who it was, she sighed and stood up to open it. Her upset face matched perfectly John’s.

"Hi, baby," he greeted with no enthusiasm when she opened the door.

"John, I... I have a little problem..." she said leaning over the door.

"Another?!" he asked, his face clearly saying ‘Now what?’.

"What do you mean with ‘another’?" Roma said finally moving to let him in.

John got into the house and followed her to the living room. "Daddy!" Reilly exclaimed when she saw him and ran to his arms.

"Hey! How’s my princess?" the blond actor said taking her and soundly kissing her cheek. He always found so lovely that the baby called him "daddy" that he couldn’t help but wish it could be true. He put Reilly back on the floor to go take a seat, only then looking at the book by the coffee table: the same he had bought instead of the one that hasn’t arrived...

"Roma... hum... would you mind if we go somewhere else instead of The Blue Electra?" he asked nervously.

"No, I don’t have a problem with that. In fact, John... I wanted to ask if you wouldn’t be mad if we... well... if we cancel the date?"

"Cancel?!" John jumped from the sofa. "Oh, no, please!" She looked at him with such pleading eyes that he regretted his reaction. "Why do you want to cancel, baby? Is there something wrong? You ok?" he said kneeling by her side and taking her hand. "David? Did he call?"

Roma’s heart felt full of tenderness as all the times she could she his concern about she and Reilly. She smiled at him, covering his hand with hers. "No, it’s not David... The babysitter called 10 minutes ago and canceled too... We can’t take Reilly..."

John released a sigh and smiled. Turning to see his co-star and her intrigued expression, he explained, "Well... I got the reservations cancelled anyway... So, you have to tell me about any other day we can go out..."

"How...?" the Irish actress asked, her eyes showing immediately how relieved she was.

"You won’t believe this... They had a problem with the stoves... They cancelled all the reservations, so change that worried face!"

She then chuckled and lowered her gaze, looking at her hand on his. When she lifted her face again, she saw his shinning eyes fixed on hers. "We still can have dinner here... It won’t be pathé and caviar but..."

"I’d love to!" he said leaning to surprise her by kissing her on the cheek. They stood up.

"Let’s see what we have..." she offered and walked a couple of steps before she tripped and almost fell.

"Roma!" John exclaimed reaching to circle her waist to stop her from falling. He got surprised to find her suddenly limp in his arms, her torso pressed against his, her hands on his shoulders, her face inches away form his. He could feel her ragged breath warm and close to his own nose, intoxicating him when mixed whit her perfume to roses and vanilla. "A-are you ok?" he stuttered helping her back on her feet.

"Yes, I’m fine... but..." she smiled and reached to take out one of her shoes and showed it to him... with a broken heel.

The laughed openly, clearly relaxed now. She took out her other shoe. "Let me go get change and we’ll see what we have for dinner..."

John saw her going out and smiled to himself, his heart so full with joy and a strange but nice peace. He turned his attention to Reilly, who was still playing around the coffee table. "You’ll be going to your bed soon, little missy," he told the baby. "Mothers’ day or not, you’ll be sleeping at your time."

Reilly fixed her brown eyes on his and smiled. She then raised her arms and ran towards the blond actor, who took her immediately, hugging her back. "You are as charming as your mommy, did you know that?" he said touching his forehead with hers.

When the baby was sitting on his lap, John took the newspaper that was on the table and started to pass the pages. One notice called his attention and he started to read it. When he finished, he smiled, hearing Roma coming back.

The irish actress appeared wearing now black pants, a sweater and boots, her hair still combed the way she had it before. "Ready now! she announced. "Let’s see about dinner..."

"Roma, do you think we could pack it and have a late picninc?" John asked joining her with Reilly on his arms.

"A picnic?" she asked in surprise. "At night?"

"Yeah., it’s a warm night... and I think we could find a nice place... I might surprise you after all..."

Roma thought about it for a minute, the shine on his eyes making her all curious. "Ok..." she accepted still a little reluctantly, "... if you say so..."

Sunday 9.00 p.m., somewhere on the highway

"Will you ever tell me where are we going, John?" Roma asked for the hundredth time in the night.

John chuckled at her childlike curiosity. He was now driving her car, with Reilly safely sitting on her baby car seat. "We’re almost there, I promise! And we’ll just have time to get all settled before the ‘show’ begins!"

Roma eyed him carefully. "Ypu do realize we have to work tomorrow, right?"

·"I haven’t forgotten I’ll be hearing the alarm at 6, don’t worry!"

"Ok..." she accepted with the frustrated tone of a child that doesn’t get to guess a secret present.

Barely five minutes later, John got out of the highway and took a dirt road for a few yards until they reached a nice clear spot. "Here! It will be perfect!" he announced getting out of the car.

"Are you sure, John?" Roma asked following him and examining the surroundings.

"Don’t you trust me?" he teased walking to the open trunk to take out the things they had bought.

"If you at least told me why we’re here..." she replied taking the basket with the food she had prepared.

Despite her protests, half an hour later they were already enjoying the little canapés they had brought. John had insisted on taking a bottle of red wine to have a toast and he offered a glass to Roma. "To a nice night and to the most beautiful co-star God could have sent me..." he proposed, his eyes fixed on hers.

"Thank you, Johnnie..." she murmured blushing deeply and lowering her face.

"Hey... I didn’t say it to make you sad..." he told her tenderly tilting her face to make her look at him.

"It’s just that sometimes... it’s hard to believe it..." she confessed. "With all that has happened to me... with what David said about me..."

"Roma... nothing of that is true!" he cupped her cheek and when he saw her sad eyes, he felt like cursing the responsible one. "You are a wonderful mother, a wonderful actress and a wonderful woman! I’ve told you you’d be the happiness of any guy on Earth!"

"Bad things are easier to believe... Have you noticed that?" she asked, her eyes full of tears.

"Yes, but I won’t allow you to believe any of the lies he’s telling!" he replied, his hand still caressing her cheek. "If you just could believe me, Roma... for once, if you could believe me..."

The Irish actress looked at him with a strange yet warm feeling in her heart. It was like if he was the first telling her she was worthy person when, in the recent weeks, David had told some tabloids that she was a mean woman that had abandoned him when he needed her the most and that was taking his child away from him. She couldn’t remember when was the last time David had touched her with such tenderness, the last time she had felt like something precious and delicate.

Even in the middle of the darkness, when only the lights of the car illuminated the surroundings, John’s eyes seemed so bright to Roma, so full of love and tenderness and promises of happiness, that she found herself fighting her fears to allow herself to believe there was a chance to be happy, there was something in this life different to bitterness and uncertainty. Still looking at his eyes, hypnotized with the sincerity she could see in his green poles, she murmured in the lowest voice, "Make me believe it, John... please, make me believe it."

John felt how his heart started to beat even faster at her words, at the desperate request she was doing to him. Tears were stinging on his eyes at the time a knot was forming on his throat when he moved closer to her, both of his now on her cheeks. Slowly, very slowly he pulled her closer to him, his eyes alternately looking at her trembling lips and at her trusting eyes. When he could already feel the warmth of her skin so close to his, he closed his eyes...

"Mommy!" Reilly shouted and both actors pulled away quickly, blushing at what had almost happened. They turned to see the baby pointing at the sky.

Roma’s breath caught in her throat and took both her hands to join them in front of her mouth at what she saw. A falling star crossed the sky, and then another, and another and another until the sky seemed to twinkle with the meteor shower. This was part of John’s plan! That’s why he had insisted on going there in the middle of night! She turned to look at him and found him looking at her, his eyes fixed on her expression.

"Make a wish..." he murmured and Roma closed her eyes for a moment. He took the chance to examine her face, to commit to memory every trait he already knew perfectly. He felt he was living a dream when minutes ago he had almost kissed her. When she slowly opened her eyes, he wanted to shout with joy at what he was discovering there: trust, hope... and love. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers first and then her palm. "Roma..." he murmured leaning against it.

"Johnnie..." she murmured too and slowly moved her hand to caress his cheek lovingly.

Their eyes locked one second later, each one reading the same feelings on the other’s eyes. Slowly leaning over, they closed their eyes until their lips met in the sweetest kiss ever.

The trip back to Roma’s house was a very quiet one, yet it was a pleasant silence. Reilly had fallen asleep but only after the meteor shower had finally ended. Roma was sitting again at the passenger’s seat, half her back towards the door, her head resting on the back so she could kept her eyes on John, who was driving.

From her position she could clearly admire him: his green eyes fixed on the road, his strong arm on the steering wheel as he was driving with just one hand, his lips curled in a slight smile that revealed he was deep lost in thought, his long hair that almost reached his shoulders and that shinned with the pale reflex of the moon through the car window. It was silky like a little girl’s and the Irish actress had occasionally touched it before, but now she longed to do it on purpose. She longed also to tell him she loved him, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t sure. She was confused and scared. After a long minute thinking about it, she reached her left arm and buried her fingers on John’s locks.

At the contact, he turned to see her and smiled. "Roma?" he asked in the lowest voice.

"Thank you, Johnnie..." she replied still running her hand through his hair. "You gave me the best night I’ve had in years..."

He changed his hand on the steering wheel and then took hers our of his hair and to his mouth, kissing the reverse reverently. "Roma, if you asked me for the moon and the stars literally and I could give them to you, I’d do it, sweetheart. I’d do everything you asked me for..." He met her brown eyes with such utter sincerity she felt like crying. Seeing her eyes bright with tears, John’s protectiveness for her was back full force. "Come here," her said stretching his arm without stopping the car.

Pulling at the safety belt, Roma leaned against hi, cuddling on his shoulder. He had always made her feel so protected and this time she felt even more secure after what had happened. She felt blessed. He kissed her forehead tenderly and, despite the uncomfortable position, he drove still holding her until they reached the city limits.

It was almost 2 a.m. when they finally arrived at Roma’s house. He had driven her home many times, but this time was different. He didn’t want to say good night in the same way he had always, yet he wasn’t sure of what to do. She seemed to be in the same situation as when he stopped the car, she had her head lowered, distractedly looking at her hands. "Did you have a good time, Roma?" he asked to break the silence.

"Oh, John! It was a very beautiful night! With the most beautiful show... for free!" she tried to joke. "Yeah..."

‘What do I say now?’ he wanted to ask someone just as if he was a teenager with his first date ever. Finally he sighed deeply and took her hand to make her turn. "About what happened before..."

"Johnnie, I-I…" her heart raced in a second, not knowing what to do or say.

"Shh.." he silenced her with a finger on her lips. "I just want you to know that I would never make you suffer, Roma…"

"I know that, Johnnie…" she replied.

They were silently looking at each other for a long minute until John tried to speak again. "If you don’t…"

"Johnnie, please… I can’t tell now…" she interrupted him. "I’m still trying to figure out…"

"Mommy…" Reilly stirred in the back seat. Meeting his eyes briefly, the actress got out of the car and took her baby in her arms. John joined her quickly and helped her to cover the sleeping baby, then helped her to open the door of the house.

"It’s too late and I better get going, baby," he said as he opened the door. He always had called her that, but all of a sudden such term had a new meaning and he knew when their eyes met again. "I-I’ll be seeing you tomorrow… today."

She smiled faintly at his correction. "Yes, I’ll see you in a couple of hours…"

Still they remained standing by the door, looking at each other’s eyes. Little by little John looked down until he was looking at her lips. He wanted to kiss her again but he wasn’t sure she would appreciate it as before. The mood wasn’t the same and he could see Roma was now thinking about what had happened, yet he didn’t want the date to finish that way. He knew he was pushing his luck but as she was still standing by the door, he tenderly cupped her face again. He felt her shivering under his touch but he took that as a good sign. "I will make you see there’s so much more than what you’ve known so far, Roma. I promise you I will." He then leaned over her and brushed her lips so gently that the contact was hardly there.

Roma couldn’t say a word since John cupped her cheeks. It seemed she couldn’t think when he was so close to her and when this knot formed in her stomach, and when his lips finally touched hers it was as if time stood still and there was nothing around but they. She opened her eyes slowly to see him smile and walk away towards his car. Leaning over the door frame until he crossed the gate, she sighed deeply and touched her lips with trembling fingers. "Please, John, make that promise come true…" she murmured to herself.

**

"There! Ready!" Della announced with a proud smile. She was wearing an apron and had a bag full of icing in one hand, and she then proceeded to show her "creation" to Roma and Julie, who were with her at the kitchen: it was a cute birthday cake, decorated in pink and white with the legend: "Happy birthday, Reilly" and two small candles on top of it.

"Oh, it’s so cute!" the nanny exclaimed.

"Della, it’s beautiful! You shouldn’t have bothered…" the Irish actress offered.

"Bothered? Oh, baby, it was my pleasure! It’s my goddaughter we’re talking about!" the older actress said putting her things away. "She may not remember this day when she grows up, but I want you to do it!"

"Thank you…" Roma murmured meeting her friend’s eyes. True to be told, she hadn’t planned anything special for Reilly’s birthday despite it made her feel a little guilty. But she just didn’t feel like celebrating. Thanks to a dirty maneuver from David’s lawyer, she was now facing the possibility of losing Reilly’s custody and she shivered of just thinking about that.

"You have nothing to thank, baby," Della said pulling her into a motherly hug. "We love that baby and we’ll celebrate her birthday no matter what! Frank must be arriving any time now and, as soon as Reilly wakes up from her nap, we’ll cut the cake, all right?"

"O-ok…" Roma accepted, wiping some tears away. She couldn’t deny she felt much better knowing Reilly would finally have a party. She had her camera ready to take some pictures… in case that was the only thing she could keep to remember every day spent by her baby’s side.

Julie and Della hadn’t missed the actress’ distress about all this situation and exchanged a quick glance, but when the older actress was about to talk, the door bell rang. "I’ll go get it", Roma said.

The other two women saw her leaving and Julie couldn’t help but sigh deeply. "Is it the way she had been all the time?" Della asked the blond girl.

"Mostly," Julie said. "She’s taking tons of pictures of Reilly and can’t help but cry at the minor chance. She is so afraid of losing her that I fear she’ll get sick. She never eats, she hardly sleeps… Hadn’t it been for you and Mr. Dye, I don’t know how she’d been now…"

"Yes, Johnnie has been great with her…"

"I don’t know how many nights he had stayed till very late just comforting her… I always go to sleep and leave them… I feel Mrs. Downey feels better to talk to him as with me she pretends to be strong… but with him, she just lets him take the tough role, I think…"

Della paid special attention to Julie’s words. She had noticed something had changed between her two co-stars, as if the were sharing something more than a special friendship, but no one had told her John used to spend nights comforting Roma. He had always done it at the set… outside, she didn’t know. And now, John’s tenderness, the way he looked at Roma, the way she didn’t pull away from him when she found them cuddled or hugging, was taking a whole new meaning… But before she could ask for more information, Julie and her heard Reilly’s soft whimper on the monitor.

"The queen of the party is awake!" Julie said. "I’ll go get her!"

***

Roma swiped her tears away quickly before she reached the door, expecting to find Franklin there. "Hi, Fra…" she stopped mid-sentence when she saw it wasn’t him. "Johnnie…"

"Hi, sweetie," he murmured reaching to hug and kiss her on the cheek. Roma wrapped her arms around him feeling immediately the comfort she always found in him. "How are you, baby?" he murmured still holding her. "I thought I could drop by and give the birthday girl a big hug…"

Letting go of his hold, Roma saw the bag he had let aside and couldn’t help but cover her mouth with her hands and start crying hopelessly. "Roma, what?" he said pulling her into a hug again. "Please, don’t cry! Everything will be alright!"

"I can’t lose her, Johnnie! I’ll die without her!" she sobbed.

It always amazed Roma how John talked about Reilly as his own child too. ‘We are not losing her’ he always said. Not ‘you are not…’ He used to make it clear she was not alone, that he was with her and that whatever happened, it happened to them both. "Thank you, Johnnie…" she murmured when she finally regained enough to talk.

"No thank you…" he said swiping her tears with tender thumbs, "I love you…"

Roma met his eyes the second he pronounced those words. He had told her that before, she knew what his feelings were for her after the night they had kissed, yet she couldn’t say the same. Not yet. She felt she was falling for him, they had kissed some other times since Mothers’ day, but she couldn’t tell him she loved him. John was the only sure thing she had now while she was fighting for Reilly and she was sure if she told him she loved him, she was going to lose him. She couldn’t lose Reilly and lose John too, no, she wouldn’t bear… She could read what John was expecting her to say but she just couldn’t let the words out…

"John, what a surprise!" Franklin interrupted them placing a hand on the actor’s shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Frank," John greeted. "I came to see Reilly of course."

"Ready for the cake then?"

"Cake?"

"Yes, Della prepared a cake. She arrived a couple of hours ago..." Roma explained.

"Oh, then, it’s good I didn’t have desert!" John said and followed Roma into the house.

An hour later they were all gathered at the living room, enjoying Della’s cake.

"It’s great, Della!" John said finishing his slice. "I can’t believe you weren’t going to call me! I won’t forget that!" he said in a mockingly hurting tone. "How mean from Tess and Monica!"

"Oh, Love juice, come on!" the actress said pulling him into a hug with one arm while she kept her plate on the other hand. "Who’s my angelboy, huh? We wouldn’t be whole without you!" She then kissed him soundly on the cheek.

Everybody laughed at Della’s remark and even Roma was having a good time, her fears forgotten for a while.

"Presents time!" Julie announced bringing a big pink box. She then knelt in front of Reilly and kissed her on the cheek. "I hope you like it, sweetie. It’s nothing expensive but I made them with all my heart."

As if the little girl was really understanding what her nanny was telling her, she wrapped her little arms around Julie’s neck and gave her a kiss before hugging her.

"Open it, Reilly," Roma urged her daughter. With some help from the actress, Reilly soon revealed a very cute pink set of gloves, scarf and a hat, hand knitted. "Julie! You shouldn’t have to!" Roma said examining them.

"Oh, Mrs. Downey, it was my pleasure!" the blond girl said. "I couldn’t give her something better than these I made specially for her!"

"Thank you, Julie!" Roma said squeezing the girl’s hand. "Hadn’t you been here since the beginning, I don’t know how I would have managed…"

"It’s been my pleasure!"

"Well, this is Della’s and mine…" Franklin said coming back with an enormous package. Reilly ran to it and started to rip out the paper until she found a nice kitchenette with everything she could ask to "prepare" great meals.

"YAY!" Reilly clapped and jumped when she saw it and ran to hug her godparents.

"Last but not least…" said John clearing his throat. "Come here, my sweet princess," he called Reilly. "You and your mommy have been the biggest blessings I could have ever had…" he kissed the baby’s head and handed her the bag, while Julie and Della exchanged an accomplice glance.

As if sensing it was something special, Reilly took special care to open the package and still grazed what was inside delicately before taking it out.

"Wow…" Julie exclaimed when she saw it.

"Oh, my God! Johnnie!" Roma’s expression followed and a second later tears were prickling at her eyes again. Reilly was holding an amazingly beautiful porcelain Irish doll, auburn hair, white skin, hazel eyes… just like Roma and Reilly’s.

"Let me see it, baby," Della asked her goddaughter. "It’s gorgeous, Love juice!"

"She looks like mommy," Reilly said carefully touching the dress of the doll.

"Yes, baby, she does," Della said.

"It made me think of your mommy, sweetheart," John said blushing slightly and then turning to see Roma. "Hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry!" he said wiping her tears again.

"My sister and I had ones like this…" Roma explained when Reilly showed her the doll. "My mom gave them to us when we were about six and she used to make special dresses for them for our birthdays. I got a wedding dress the last year… just before she…"

At that moment everybody had tears in their eyes and John wasted no time in hugging Roma again. "Don’t cry, baby, please!" he murmured. "We all are here for you and for Reilly! We love you both so much!"

"I know…" she replied pulling apart and drying her eyes for the hundredth time that day. "And I so thank God for that!"

***

Late that night, Della and Franklin were already gone, leaving a very tired and excited Reilly ready for bed and John wanting to spend some one on one time with Roma. Julie helped Roma to pick up the dishes after dinner and then excused herself to leave the two "friends" alone in the living room.

"It was a nice party after all", John offered trying to make her talk.

"Yes, thanks a lot, Johnnie…" she took her cup of coffee and sipped at it. "You didn’t have to bring her a present…"

"Are you kidding me?" he said reaching to take her hand, not missing the fact that she tensed immediately. "I would have never forgiven myself! She’s my baby princess! Don’t you believe I had been thinking about what to get her for weeks?"

"The doll is beautiful," she said softy pulling her hand away from his. "Where did you buy it?"

"In a friend’s store… she imported it for me…" he explained feeling a little upset with her gesture. When she remained silent for a little while, he added, "You know I’d do anything for you two… I’d get whatever you asked me to…"

Roma turned to meet his green eyes and she saw so much love shinning in there that it almost scared her. "Johnnie, I- I…"

John moved on the sofa so he could be face to face with Roma and reached to cup her face. "I love you, Roma… I’ve told you that…" Fresh tears started to shine in the corner of her eyes and John couldn’t understand why. He had told her he was lost for her and that he would do everything for her, yet she had never said the same… "You do believe me, don’t you? You do know I love you…"

Big tears crossed her cheeks and she had to bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from shouting him she loved him as well. She couldn’t tell him!! She would lose him!! "Yes, I know…" she managed to whisper. He was so close to her that she could breath his own breath, so warm, so exciting… Butterflies were flapping on her stomach and her eyes seemed to act on their own will as they were getting closed little by little, allowing her to feel just Johnnie’s touch…

"And you, baby? Do you love me?"

That was the question she so has feared. She knew the answer in her heart but to say it out loud… it was impossible right now! She met his eyes again, seeing he was telling her the truth and he needed to hear the same from her. "Please, John…" was all she thought about saying.

John let go of her face and sighed in frustration. He wasn’t mad, but it hurt not to be able to hear from her what he so wanted to hear. "Roma, I can’t understand it…"

Roma threw her arms around his neck surprising him. "Give me some time, John… I… I can’t make this now…"

He pulled away softly so he could look at her. "You don’t regret what has happened, do you?" He almost feared her reply and the slight change in his eyes said so. He wouldn’t bear to hear it. He had dreamed so long with the kisses they had shared that he couldn’t think of not kissing her anymore.

"No!" Roma almost shouted, but she couldn’t stand John’s sight for more than a couple of seconds. "I don’t regret kissing you, John…" she whispered, still not holding his gaze, "…if that’s what you want to know."

Carefully, very carefully, he tilted her chin until he met her teary eyes… "I will make you love me, sweetheart… if you only let me." When Roma couldn’t suppress a sob, he leaned and kissed her on the forehead. "I can love for the two of us… I will show you that there is something completely different from what you’ve known so far…"

Roma let her head fall to his shoulder and he then pulled her closer. "Please, Johnnie… Do so…" she murmured and a second later a big tear wet John’s shirt. He felt it but he just let her stay there, feeling the comfort of his arms around her.

Only after a long moment, when it was already very late, he pulled apart and cupped her face tenderly. "I love you so, so much, baby…" he murmured, drinking in her features as if he was doing it for the first time. He leaned to kiss her cheek long and lovingly. "I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?"

Roma stood up with him and walked to the door. Once there, she leaned over the frame and called him. "Johnnie…"

He turned to see her expectantly. He could feel what she wanted to say but she couldn’t… "It’s ok…" he told her stroking her cheek tenderly as he always did. But the moment he met her eyes, he saw what she was asking him to.

He leaned over slowly, feeling how her breath became erratic and watching how her lips unconsciously opened a little. He looked at her again as if seeking for reassurance, and he got a very light nod that was enough for him. He crossed the last inches and pressed his lips against hers, feeling how she released in the simple action of kissing him what she couldn’t tell him in words. His heart felt like bursting with joy, and breaking apart slightly, just enough to take some air, he continued kissing the woman that now possessed his very life.

Neither John nor Roma noticed Julie standing by the stairs, looking at them with a wide smile on the face and a feeling of happiness for the actress as she hadn’t felt in weeks.

***

"Johnnie…" the blond actor heard a soft voice calling him from behind. He turned to see Roma, his beloved co-star, her brown eyes bright with tears. The two people that were talking to him left them alone.

"Roma, what’s wrong?" he turned immediately, cupping her face and drying her tears with tender thumbs.

"The lawyer called," she said in whisper and he could guess a clear note of fear.

"What did he say?"

"I don’t know… I’m losing her, Johnnie!" she started to cry and clung desperately to his shirt. "I’m losing her and I can’t do anything!"

"Roma, please, calm down!" he pleaded hugging her tightly. "What did he say?"

"He’s on his way here…" she murmured.

"Then let’s wait for him before we jump into any conclusion!"

"No, no, I know it! I’m losing my daughter!"

"Come here, sweetheart," he said guiding the crying actress to her dressing room so nobody would be staring at her wondering why she was crying. "Let’s wait to see what Mr. Norris says ok?"

The fifteen minutes they spent waiting for the lawyer to arrive seemed perhaps the longest in their lives. John felt so helpless not knowing what to tell Roma to ease her fear that he would’ve given half of his life to spare her that suffering. When they heard a knock at the door, John was sure Roma was doing the biggest effort to remain standing. He wanted to read in the lawyer’s expression but he couldn’t, so he finally stood up too and walked to place a hand on Roma’s shoulder. "So…?" he asked to break the silence.

"I have news for you, Mrs. Downey," Mr. Norris said handling her a folder with some papers. Watching how she shook to open it and try to read what was inside, he explained, "It’s the court’s decision. You’ll have to allow your husband to visit your daughter, but you’re keeping the custody, and the judge determined they have no right to appeal the decision."

"Oh, my God!" Roma exclaimed dropping the folder and covering her mouth to drown her crying. "Oh, my God, thank you! Thank you!"

John had tears in his eyes with the good news and reached to hug Roma pulling her into a loving hug. "Hush, baby, it’s ok now…" he murmured soothingly. "We’re keeping Reilly, sweetie…"

"Yes, yes!" she exclaimed still crying and clutching his shirt tightly. "Oh, Johnnie, we’re keeping my baby!"

"Yes, baby, we are!" he released his hold so he could cup her face and touch her forehead with his. "I told you everything would be just fine, darling…" he then leaned to kiss her lightly on the lips haven’t forgotten completely they weren’t alone.

Not knowing what kind of relationship the two actors were sharing now, the lawyer got a little surprised by that little kiss. He cleared his throat so he could have their attention back.

"Hum… I’m sorry, Mr. Norris," Roma said blushing a little and releasing her hold on John.

"Don’t worry, Mrs. Downey," the man said friendly. "Still I would recommend you to be very discrete about this… at least until you are called to sign the papers at the judge’s chambers. His decision is definitive, but Mr. Anspaugh’s lawyers could make a fuss if there is a note or a comment on the tabloids… and I think you’ve been through enough these months."

"Yes, definitely!" Roma exclaimed, some of her usual cheerfulness now back. "We haven’t told anyone about…" she turned to see John, "…us."

"You’ll be getting the notification in a couple of weeks," the lawyer told her handling her the documents again. "So, I’ll see you then. Relax now, Mrs. Downey, your daughter will live with you."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Norris," the actress said, her eyes bright with tears. When the lawyer left the room, she turned and threw her arms around John’s waist again. "She’s to stay, Johnnie, she’s to stay!"

"Yes, sweetie, yes," he said hugging her lovingly too. Yet Roma noticed his tone of voice had changed a little. "What’s wrong?" she asked pulling apart.

He met her eyes and sighed. He didn’t want to spoil her moment of joy but he couldn’t pretend. "Roma…"

"Tell me please?"

"It’s about what you’ve just told Mr. Norris… About ‘us’. Is there really something between us?"

"John!"

"I love you," he told her to stop her arguing. "You know that. I love you more than anything or anyone in this world, but you, baby? Do you love me too?"

She lowered her head unable to resist his gaze. She hadn’t been able to tell him that she loved him too. "I-I…" she stuttered.

John sighed in frustration. "I knew it…"

"Johnnie…"

"You can’t say it because you don’t love me, Roma," he said sadly. "I’ll see you later."

Roma saw him leaving her dressing room and fell on the couch crying again. How it hurt to see him walk away. She had feared that moment for a long time, that’s why she hadn’t accepted she had fallen for him. But not telling him that she loved him had precisely made him go and now she was hurting anyway and alone again.

She didn’t know how long she had been crying when there was a light knock at her door. "Who is it?" she asked not in the mood to talk to anyone.

"It’s me, Della, baby, can I come in?"

Roma wiped her tears quickly, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying so much. "Come in, please, Della," she said opening the door.

"What’s wrong, baby?" the older actress said noticing the reddened eyes of her friend.

"Oh, nothing, Della!" she lied. "The lawyer came to tell me I’m keeping Reilly’s custody and I couldn’t help but cry in relief!"

"Oh, thank you, Father! That’s wonderful news!" Della exclaimed and hugged her tightly. But when she met Roma’s eyes she knew there was something more. "But that was not the only reason for those red eyes…"

"It is, Della…"

"Sure, and John leaving this room equally upset has nothing to do…"

The way Roma broke her gaze told Della she had pointed out the truth. "What happened between you?"

Roma chewed her lower lip and a minute later she was crying again in her foster "mother’s" arms. "I lost him, Della! I hurt him and he’s just walked away from me! He said he lover me but I just couldn’t…"

Surprised (although not completely), the older actress pulled away and guided Roma to take a seat. "Now, baby, tell me what’s what you are telling me. Are you and John dating?"

"Yes… No… Not exactly…"

"Ok, Roma. Take a deep breath and try to explain yourself. You said he loves you… And I know he does, but I’m guessing you’re not telling me the whole truth!"

Still sobbing, the Irish actress explained all that had happened between her and their co-star since her birthday and their date in Mother’s day. "…and he asked me to say what was between us. I just couldn’t tell him I love him, Della, I couldn’t! He says it is because I don’t, but…"

"But… you do…" Della ventured.

Roma stood up and started to pace nervously. "I don’t want to accept it because I don’t want to lose him! I don’t know how I could go on without him anymore! That’s the truth! I need him by my side! He’s been here all these months and…"

"Roma… You are in love, that’s all!" the older actress said in a tender tone. "Don’t be afraid. If you don’t want to lose him, then tell him the truth! Have the courage to tell him that you love him too! I’m sure he is your happiness. He wont hurt you the way David did…"

"But I hurt him…" Roma concluded sadly. "He won’t want to know anything about me anymore."

"Nah, I’m sure he is waiting for you to tell him that you do love him, baby," Della said hugging the younger actress again. "Don’t let him go, I’m sure he’s what you’ve been looking for all your life!"

*

The next time Roma met John was about one hour later, when they were requested to film together. Time after time they repeated their dialogues and the movements the director asked them to do, yet it just didn’t work. Everybody could feel there was something not right between the young actors, something of the previous complicity they used to share was just not there…

"Cut!" the director shouted again and rubbed his face with his hand in complete frustration. "What’s going on, guys? This is not working!" John and Roma glanced at each other furtively and said nothing. "You know what? We better stop today. We’ll see tomorrow."

"I’m sorry," Roma murmured in a low voice and then saw the blond actor just going away. She saw him leaving and her heart broke again. She had never thought it would hurt so much not to have him by her side. Guessing he should have gone to his dressing room, Roma went there and took a deep breath to gather the courage to knock at his door. "Come in," he replied from inside.

"Johnnie…"

John turned immediately to see her at the door and his anger and sadness turned into love all over again. "Roma…"

"C-can I come in?"

"What is it, Roma?" he asked a little bitterly.

She sighed again and gulped. "I wanted to say I’m sorry. I hurt you and I don’t know how to undo the harm…"

"Roma," he interrupted her, "I told you what’s happening. I am in love with you! I love you and I’d want you to love me the same, but you don’t!"

"No, Johnnie, that’s not true!"

"Roma," he walked and placed his hands on her shoulders, "don’t lie to me please! You haven’t been able to tell me you love me and that’s because you just don’t feel it!"

"John, please, listen to me!" the Irish actress begged taking him by the wrists. "I’m so afraid!"

"Don’t…"

"I’m so afraid of losing you!" she almost shouted to make him listen. "I wouldn’t know how to make it without you because I love you! Can’t you see it?"

John’s eyes searched for hers immediately and he could read she was telling the truth. "Roma…" he murmured.

"I do, Johnnie, I do!" she said touching his chin with her forehead. "I was so afraid to tell you, to see you walking away from me the way you did today! But when you did walk away, I knew I had to be honest and tell you. Please, don’t leave me, John," she asked placing a hand on his cheek and looking at him straight in the eyes. "I love you."

John couldn’t blink back the tear that escaped the corner of his eye and that ran until Roma’s thumb. She wiped it away tenderly, feeling her heart swell with love for that man who offered her so much. "You can’t possibly know how much this means to me, baby. You are my life, my everything…" He then kissed her palm before he buried his fingers in her silky long hair and drew her for a long and deep kiss.

Roma returned the kiss with equal love and passion, for the first time feeling absolutely free to do it, free to accept she was in love and to show that in consequence. When they finally broke the kiss, they were both breathless. "I love you, Johnnie, I love you," she murmured once and again while she placed kisses all over his cheek and neck. "I never thought I would feel this way anymore…"

"And this is just the beginning, Roma…" he murmured equally trailing kisses along her jaw line, "I only asked for the chance to show you I can make you happy… happier than you have been in all your life…"

He was cupping her face and looking at her with so much love it almost made her cry. "You are an angel, Johnnie… my own angel."