HOLLY OF HOLLIES – THE MAKING OF

(By Deyse)

"You’re so pretty, mommy!" Reilly said, with a broad smile on her meek face, eyeing the Irish actress from head to toe and admiring the long white costume she was wearing to film the last part of the episode "Holly of Hollies".

"Well, thank you, my little angel!" Roma spoke, smiling pleased to hear that compliment.

"I couldn’t agree more!" John spoke, from behind Roma and not missing the girl’s flattering words and then causing his colleague to blush.

"Are you and uncle Johnny getting married?"

John noticed how red her cheeks were and couldn’t help chuckling at that question.

"Oh no, we aren’t..." Roma managed to say, with an embarrassment that she didn’t even know the reason.

"Why not?" the little girl insisted, frowning at that negative answer.

"Well... Because in the show we are angels and angels cannot get married..."

"Why not?" now Reilly’s face was a shocked, nearly upset one.

"Well... because..."

"Because auntie Martha doesn’t want!" John interrupted, finding all that conversation really funny and loving the way Roma glared at him.

"Oh yeah? And does Andrew wanna marry Monica, uncle Johnny?"

"Of course he does! Andrew is crazy about Monica!"

Roma’s eyes grew wider and she blushed even more hearing those words.

"Does Monica wanna marry Andrew, mommy?" the little girl continued and at first the actress was lost for words, but before she could even say something, John placed his hand on her shoulders. "Yes, she does! Monica loves Andrew in secret, I’m almost sure!"

"John!" the Irish actress exclaimed, felling really embarrassed.

With a pleased smile, Reilly announced, "Ok, then I’ll go and ask auntie Martha to marry them!"

Saying that, she left the two adults behind and ran along the studio towards Martha Williamson, who was watching the filming as it was the first one of the season 8.

"You shouldn’t encourage her!"

"Why not? Don’t you know that Andrew has been secretly in love with Monica all this time?" Noticing that she didn’t know how to reply, he pointed his finger at her, "Ah see? You know it too!"

"I... I don’t know about that!"

"I think you do! And you bet Andrew is gonna love to see his Monica in this cute gown!" he walked around her, gazing at her from head to toe, "Our little one is right, you look gorgeous!"

Hearing that compliment really made her blush, but at the same time, she liked what he had said and the way he was looking at her - the Irish actress felt her heart filled with joy that he would think something like that.

"Well... thank you... What is it, after all? A plan to make me blush?"

"No... but you look quite cute when you blush too!" the smile on his face and the tenderness in his eyes were such that she felt like holding him tightly and telling him how much she loved him. "And I’m warning you, Andrew will notice how pretty Monica is!" he said, and before she could reply, Reilly returned.

"I talked to auntie Martha already."

"Oh really? And what did she say, honey?" John asked, chuckling not only at the girl’s anxiety but also at Roma’s embarrassment.

"She said that she’ll think about it..." the little girl explained, with some disappointment.

"Well, then we can have some hope!" he encouraged her.

"I got an idea!"

"What idea, sweetie?"

"Why don’t you marry mommy then? It would be much fun and then maybe auntie Martha can marry you two in the show too!"

Now Roma’s embarrassment was even greater – she felt the colour rising on her cheeks and, for an instant, wished that she could move away from that place, from John’s eyes before he found out what had been in her heart for some time, for a long time, in fact; since her divorce.

"Well... we can say that we’ll think about it too!" John spoke, although now he was equally embarrassed.

The rest of the filming went fine and it soon ended and part of the cast and the crew remained on the set, celebrating the beginning of the new season. Seeing that Reilly was with her ‘‘auntie Della’’ and knowing that it was the same as being with her grandmother, Roma found a way to go back to her dressing room. She was feeling a sudden sensation of sadness invading her heart and wished nobody would see her like that. But someone did. His green eyes followed her leaving the set and going through the corridor that led to the dressing rooms and, frowning with worry, John couldn’t help going after her.

A light knock on the door made Roma quickly wipe away the tears that she had shed and stand up from the chair. "C-come in..." her voice was trembling and when she saw John opening the door, the actress quickly lowered her head, as it was difficult to hide from him what she was feeling.

"Roma? Are you ok?"

"I... Y-yes, I just... I’m feeling a little bit of a headache..."

He quickly shortened the distance between them and took her hand, "Would you like me to get you some medicine? I have..."

"No... no, it’s ok, Johnny... thank you..."

He lay one hand on her cheek and cupped her chin with the other, so that she could look at him and then he saw, with great worry, the tears in the corner of her soft brown eyes, "Roma? Were you crying, sweetie? What happened?

She averted her eyes, trying to escape from his protective gaze, "I... It’s nothing, really..."

"Nothing? Roma, please, tell me what’s wrong, I can’t possibly bear to see you sad, you know that! Is it something David did? You can tell me, I can even deal with him if you want, he doesn’t have the right..."

"No... no, it’s not him..." she turned to look at him; always amazed at his fierce protectiveness, overwhelmed with tenderness and love for that man who had been a loyal friend to her, a true angel in her life and of her daughter’s.

"Then tell me what’s wrong, Roma, please... It hurts so much to see you crying, baby..."

"I... Seeing Reilly asking us to marry... You’ll probably think it’s silly of me but I remembered... my other marriages and..." the tears she had been trying to hide finally rolled down her cheeks and suddenly John realised what had caused her sadness and felt extremely guilty, "Was it the way I joked about us getting married? God, Roma, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry! Please, forgive me!"

He was standing before her and didn’t waste another moment in pulling her into his arms, something he had longed to do since he had first come through the door, "I’m sorry, Roma," He whispered, pressing her head to his chest as he held her tightly. "I’m so sorry..."

"No... You don’t have to ask for forgiveness, John. You didn’t do anything wrong..." she sniffled, clutching his T-shirt with her small fingers. "I am the problem, you know... I keep on thinking that... that maybe I wasn’t made for marriage... although I try and try to find happiness somehow I manage to spoil everything..."

"No! No, Roma! Never, angel!" he pulled away just enough to look at her red face, "I told you that before, honey, you shouldn’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault! Other people made you cry!"

"I have trouble believing that when I come to think that... that I could spoil everything again..."

He pulled some strands of hair off her face and tucked them behind her ears, gazing at her with tenderness and infinite love, "If we got married, I would never make you cry again... I love you too much to allow you to feel sad..."

The actress felt her legs trembling and her heart racing with what she had just heard and the way he was looking at her. "Yes, Roma... I love you. God, I love you so much that I could stay here just holding you like this forever if I knew that it would prevent you from crying... I wish I knew a way to remove all this sadness inside your heart and fill it only with happiness..." he drew a line along her delicate jaw; his own green eyes filled with emotion, "...even if this happiness wasn’t with me..."

With more tears rolling down her cheeks, she sobbed, "Oh John... Johnny... my dearest friend... I love you so much..."

He got surprised with that reply; surprised and nervous. She was talking about friend’s love, that was for sure. She had told him that before, but he didn’t care. He would keep on loving her the way he always had; he could love for the two of them. "Roma... Please, give me a chance to make you happy... even if you don’t feel the same about me, I promise I’ll take care of you, I promise I’ll make you happy..."

"No... you don’t understand... I love you... And... it’s not as a friend... not anymore... I love you the same way you love me!"

"W-what?" Now the blond actor was having difficulties in processing everything she was telling him, secrets they had been keeping inside their hearts were being revelled inside that small dressing room, in the Moon Water Studios.

"I love you so much... First as a friend and then... My feelings changed and when I first realised that change... I... found myself completely in love with you..."

"You... you’re saying that you love me?" his voice was haunted and low.

"I do... I do, I love you so much... And that’s what’s scaring me..."

"Scaring? Why?" he spoke, desperately searching for an explanation inside her soft brown eyes.

"Because... Because I’m so afraid of losing your love and friendship if I spoil everything again and then it’s not only me who would suffer, Reilly would suffer too as you’re... you’re her real father..."

Overwhelmed with tenderness and the deepest and most sincere love, he grabbed her face with both hands and looked deep inside her eyes, "You’ll never, in a thousand years, lose me... And you know why?" as she waited for him to conclude, he wiped away the tears on her face with his thumbs, "Because this heart here was created to be yours, Roma. Because I was meant to love you..."

"A-Aren’t you afraid that... that things may not work with us?"

"Afraid? What I’m feeling right now... Only God knows... and it’s far from fear... I fell in love with you on the first day we met and hearing you telling me that you love me brings me nothing but absolute happiness, angel."

"Really?" a small, tiny smile appeared on her face.

"Really..."

"Then... Then I guess you’ve already found a way to remove all this sadness inside my heart and fill it only with happiness..." she placed her hand over his face and gently stroked it, "...because it’s been a long time I found out my happiness is you..."

Saying no more, as now words weren’t enough to express what they were feeling, John and Roma inched their faces closer and their lips met in a loving and tender kiss; it was slow and full of the deepest love two human beings could possibly share.

Never breaking the kiss, pressing his lips firmly onto hers and tasting the sweet flavour of her mouth, John held her even closer to him, entangling one of his hands in her auburn hair. Gratefully, and wishing she could be in his arms and receiving more and more of his loving kisses forever, Roma wrapped her arms around his neck, and the couple of actors remained lost in that moment for long sweet moments.

"God... you’re my world, Roma..." he said, placing tiny kisses on her face and lips, when they finally parted.

"Oh John... I love you so much..." the actress spoke, tenderly stroking his handsome face. "Can I ask you something?"

"You know the answer to that..." he replied, taking her hand and kissing her palm.

"I just wish we could keep this in secret for a while, you know... It may sound silly..."

"It’s not silly, honey. I too don’t want anybody to know. We have Reilly and she deserves to be the first to know."

"Exactly. Besides... I’m a little afraid to let people know, other than Reilly and Della." he chuckled at her blushing face and at her words, "I guess I want you just for me now..."

"Well... I wouldn’t even dream of contradicting you now, honey!"

Laughing, the couple held each other again and exchanged another loving kiss; one more of the uncountable others that were about to come, as they knew in their hearts, that both had finally found a soul mate.

The end