Independence Day

By Kimbre, Gaby and Deyse

John forced himself to slow down his speed in order to get his own emotions under control. The whole situation was too out of context though for him to calm down much, though he reminded himself to have a level head in the event that David was home with his wife and daughter.

Roma had been looking forward to the catered party that was being thrown in celebration of the wrap up of the sixth season. But then an hour before the party was to begin, she had called John’s cell phone to tell him she would not be attending. Though she had tried to make it sound as if nothing was wrong, he had been able to hear the strain behind her words and it had set off alarm bells for him. Something was definitely wrong. He had been sensing trouble in her marriage for well over a year now, but Roma was very private about it. Where she was open about most things, she rarely made any comments about her marriage, though many mornings when she arrived at the set, he could see the strain in her expression, which would vanish after being around her friends and co-workers a few hours later. She was a wonderful friend and a doting mother to Reilly, but where David was concerned, her life was a mystery.

John slowed down the car as he approached Roma’s home and pulled into the driveway. Good. David’s car was absent and that came as a great relief. He wanted to be able to speak to his friend without Roma having to measure every word she said. He took the front steps two at a time and rang the doorbell.

It seemed a lifetime before the door opened, but only a crack and he could hear Roma’s sharp intake of air.

"John, what you are doing here?"

She sounded panicked but he was not about to be deterred, "Roma. I wanted to check on you. Why aren’t you coming tonight?"

"I…I don’t feel well is all. You should go. I don’t want you to catch it…." Her voice was pleading, bordering on tearful.

"Honey, I’m not going anywhere until you let me in," He spoke gently but firmly, wanting her to understand that he meant what he said.

"John…."

"Roma, please." He could almost sense her contemplation before she slowly opened the door but immediately turned away from him, walking in the direction of the living room. Closing the door behind him, he followed her quickly. Now that she had removed the physical barrier between them, he needed to work on the emotional one.

He tried to reach for her arm to force her to face him, but she moved quickly away from his grasp, but the movement cost her dearly as she drew in a sharp breath that was obviously laden with pain, "You’re hurt."

"I’m fine, John, really."

The tremble in her voice betrayed her and this time when he took her arm, she didn’t have time to retreat. Turning her slowly to face him, he felt his heart begin to pound loudly in his chest as he took in her bruised face. The ugly black and blue discoloration stretched from her eye down her to chin, but what made his heart ache even more were the tears in her eyes.

"Johnny, please…"

"He did this, didn’t he?" His voice was quiet but nearly shaking with intensity as his fingers trailed over her face, "That bastard hit you."

She couldn’t even speak for a moment as she worked the inside of her lip painfully, trying to combat the tears that insisted on falling. She couldn’t look into his eyes as she didn’t want him to see the deep shame in her own, "We…we had a disagreement…"

"Disagreement? Sweetheart, a disagreement has nothing to do with…with this…" He cupped her bruised cheek in his hand, "He had no right, Roma. None at all." She looked so vulnerable, so lost and he knew he needed to get her out of here, "Reilly. Is she all right?"

"Yes," Her eyes finally snapped up to meet his, "He didn’t hurt her. John, I’d never allow him to hurt her. Please…."

He moved a step closer and drew her into his arms as she began to cry, each sob causing a sharp intake of air that alerted him to possible broken ribs. Inside, his soul was raging with anger at her husband, but he couldn’t let her see that. Not yet.

"Roma, you can’t stay here. Please, take Reilly and come with me. We’ll talk to Della and find you someplace safe."

"No…No…it will be all right, John…."

"Baby, the way this man treats you is never going to be all right," He pulled away, keeping his hands on her small shoulders, "Roma, I’ve known for a long time now that things haven’t been right, no matter how hard you’ve tried to hide it."

A blink and more tears fell, "This is my marriage, John. I don’t want to fail."

"Roma, no. This isn’t about failing and it certainly isn’t you who has failed. This is about you deserving so much better than this. No one should ever have to go through the things you are going through and no woman should ever be struck by someone she loves," The look of doubt in her beautiful doe-like eyes was enough to tear at his soul, "Please Roma, come with me."

She searched his eyes, seeing the kindness that radiated there and though her mind wanted to argue about how much she needed to stay with her husband, her heart forced her to nod her head, "I need to get Reilly and our things."

"I’ll help you."

He followed her upstairs but instead of heading to her bedroom she led him down the hall to a spare bedroom. He watched as she opened the closet door and then dragged out two large suitcases, which he moved to help her with.

"You’ve already packed," He observed softly.

Roma was quiet for a moment before she looked up at him with teary eyes and replied in a whisper, "Six months ago."

John’s jaw clenched and he longed to sweep her up in his arms and kiss away her tears and her fear. He had a feeling that a hundred horror stories lied behind her dark eyes, all of them leading up to this point in time, "You packed that long ago?"

"Yes. I just couldn’t get up the courage to leave."

That was all it took for John to grab the suitcases, "Get Reilly and I’ll put these in the car."

John put the luggage in his trunk and then took the car seat out of Roma’s car and placed it in the back of his own. He had no idea of where to take them, but Della would know. He would call her on the way and have her meet them someplace. The party would simply have to go on without them. Roma was so much more important.

"All set?" He asked her as he walked back in the front door and saw her standing there with Reilly in her arms. The little girl was just over a year old and it was obvious that she had just been woken up from a nap as she looked up at John with sleepy eyes before reaching for him.

As he took the little girl from her mother’s arms, the phone rang and both John and Roma froze, staring at the inanimate object with something akin to dread, "Don’t answer it." He suggested, but Roma was already moving to the phone, one hand wrapped protectively around her aching ribs.

"Hello? Yes. Yes, David, I’m fine…..I know you are….yes, I know you didn’t mean it…."

John felt his heart sinking as he listened to the conversation. She had been so close to freedom. It was almost as if David had sensed it and had called to make sure she stayed so he could continue the vicious cycle he had started. He cuddled Reilly closer and closed his eyes, unable to bear the thought of her staying.

"Okay," Roma continued, her eyes downcast, "Yes. I’ll see you then. I love you too….bye."

There was silence for a moment and John opened his eyes to see his friend wiping at her own, "Roma…" He whispered. He would beg if he needed to, he decided.

"Let’s go." She finally looked up at him and her tired eyes held a hint of strength, "He won’t be home until late and I need a head start for him not to find me."

*****

Five Days later…

Malibu. The coastal town in California was well known for it’s scenic view of the ocean the moment a vehicle turned off of Pacific Coast Highway. It was a quiet community where celebrities often came to relax and unwind, but neither John nor Roma had known that one of the cozy beach houses overlooking the ocean belonged to none other than Della Reese.

John had called Della as soon as they had safely gotten a few miles away from Roma’s house that night and the actress had been quick to find a refuge for her young friend. John had not gone into the whole story over the phone as with Roma sitting next to him in the car he would have felt guilty. But Della hadn’t questioned it. Instead she had given him instructions on where to meet her so that she could give them a key and directions to her house in California.

They had met up with the older actress not far from the party and Della had not asked Roma any questions. She had simply looked her over, seeing the angry bruise on her face and the fear in her eyes and stated, "Baby, you were right to leave."

The plane ride had been a quiet one, but John had sat next to his friend and co-star the entire time, occasionally taking Reilly from her so Roma could doze. Only exhaustion battled with the pensive look in her dark eyes and the Irish actress spoke very little though she was doing her very best to appear calm and collected. But John didn’t miss the way her hand trembled when she accepted the cup of ice water from the stewardess. Roma was obviously terrified but what he didn’t know was if that fear stemmed from her leaving David or something much deeper.

It wasn’t until he had Roma and Reilly settled in the cozy little vacation house that he had the answer to his question. He had turned to her, feeling somewhat awkward, "Well, I guess I’ll get going. I’ll check on you tomorrow if that is okay." He didn’t want to leave her alone but he had sensed her need to be just that as she stared out the picture window at the ocean down below.

But she had turned to him quickly with tears in her dark eyes, "Johnny, please…don’t go."

"Roma…"

"I’m scared." The words had been but a whisper as tears had slipped from her eyes, "I know it’s impossible, but…I’m afraid he’ll find me…and if he does…" She allowed her voice to trail off not wanting to vocalize her greatest fear.

John had been standing in front of her in two large strides and he rested his hands firmly on her small shoulders, "You’re safe here, sweetheart. I promise. You and Reilly are safe."

Something in his words, in the kindness and tenderness behind them allowed her bottled up emotions to break free and he had gathered her into his arms as she started to cry. The sobs came from deep within and with each one was a sharp intake of air due to her aching ribs and John made a mental note to contact his doctor tomorrow to see if he would see Roma privately.

"Please, John…please don’t go…" The words were choked out between bone deep sobs and he had been quick to reassure her.

"I won’t, baby. If you want me to stay, then I have no place else I need to be, but right here with you."

He had kept his promise. He had taken the guest room and had helped Roma take care of both herself and Reilly. His doctor had consented to seeing Roma after hours so that no one would recognize her and the doctor had confirmed John’s suspicion of broken ribs. His mind had raced with numerous scenarios that might have occurred that would have caused such an injury, but Roma wasn’t offering any answers. In fact, it was his one frustration. The little actress had been very quiet the last few days, spending time on the sofa and gazing out the window to the ocean below. She ate very little and only when John pressed the issue. The doctor had prescribed pain killers for her ribs, but she only took them when John insisted as he could see she was in pain.

He certainly didn’t regret being with her. He knew her well and he knew that she could only keep things bottled up inside of her for so long. Right now, she was trying to come to terms with the fact that she had left David and though he felt for certain that she was feeling as if she had failed, he didn’t want to intrude upon her thoughts until she was ready to talk. Though he didn’t want to admit to himself, his frustration stemmed out of his love for her and his overwhelming desire to just help her.

John had been tossing and turning in his bed for hours, unable to fall asleep. The days had fallen into a routine of caring for Reilly with Roma and some small talk but nothing more. He could so clearly see the pain in the actresses eyes, but though he had extended the offer of having an ear that was more than willing to listen, she had not yet taken him up on it. He was starting to feel useless to help her. Despite the love he had been harboring for her in his heart for the last few years, he was still just a friend and that did not place him in the position to demand her to talk to him about her marriage.

Sighing with frustration, he rolled over and closed his eyes once again, but as with every time he attempted to sleep, Roma’s words about having been packed for six months came back to haunt him. Six months ago it had finally gotten so bad that she had felt the need to plan her escape, so how long before that had things been terrible? Had it been a year or longer that David had been abusing the petite actress? John had to admit that he had never seen a bruise on her until just a few nights ago, so what had prompted her to pack?

He often wondered if David had already gone back to his house and realized Roma and Reilly were gone. He had called Della every night but the old actress hadn’t mentioned him calling her. That instead of calming him made him fear a worse reaction from David… and John knew that the moment come her wouldn’t doubt to do everything to protect Roma and Reilly… no matter what that everything entailed.

Those had been his thoughts all night long until he rolled over his bed once more just to see the first rays of the sunrise bathing his room. He decided to get up, and walked to the window to see something that called his attention. Hand in hand Roma was walking with Reilly along the shore, both barefoot, until the small waves touched their feet. That was the first time Roma had decided to leave the house. He thought about it for a minute and then decided to join them. He heard the baby’s happy yelling at the contact of the cold water with her chubby feet, and when he reached them he placed a hand on Roma’s shoulder. Roma smiled tenderly back at him. "The morning is really nice, isn’t it?" he offered.

"Yes, it looks like it will be a sunny day," she replied. "That’s why I thought about taking Reilly here…"

"She seems to love the ocean as much as her mom," he pointed out following with the sight the little baby that was now running after the leaving waves and away of the coming ones a few feet away of where the two adults were.

"Thank you so much, Johnny," Roma murmured turning to see him. The blond actor felt a knot forming in his stomach at the hint of hopelessness he could see in her hazel eyes. "These days have been so peaceful, so perfect… so different to…"

"They have been the way all your days should be, baby," the blond actor interrupted her. He was stoking her arm lovingly now, so wanting to pull her into a tight hug and tell her that would be the way he’d make each and every day of her existence if they were together. But that was not the best moment to make such confessions and he knew he had to be careful not to brake her trust in him.

"Sometimes, in moments like this, I truly believe this is how life should be, Johnnie…" she said in the lowest voice and the blond man saw how a tear crossed her still bruised cheek.

"No, sweetie, don’t cry," he swiped her tears lovingly. "I won’t allow any of your days to be not peaceful and calm from now on, Roma…"

The tenderness in his touch and the security he offered in his voice made Roma’s heart skip a beat and she turned to meet his gaze with so much hope it made John’s heart ache. The Irish actress’ breath caught in a sob just a brief second before a sharp scream made them tremble.

"Reilly!" the woman shouted recognizing her daughter’s voice just as John ran towards a rock from here he had heard the baby cry.

Roma arrived just a few seconds after him to see her co-start holding her baby and calming her. "It’s just a crab, Reilly, it won’t hurt you…"

"It moves!! It wants to bit me!!"

"Just don’t bother it… When you see one, just leave it alone…" The sound of a drowned sob made him turn to see Roma, who had her face covered with her hands and was trembling clearly. He stood up and went to hug her. "She’s fine, Roma!"

The Irish actress threw her arms around him and buried her face on his chest. "I was so scared! I thought David…"

He started to comb her hair lovingly. "Talk to me, baby," he softly urged her. "Tell me what happened…"

The Irish actress sobbed against his chest, clutching his T-shirt firmly, as if he was the only one who could rescue her from a terrible nightmare, who could bring some light to the endless darkness she had been through. And, as a matter of fact, it was exactly what John represented now: he was her saviour, the one to come for her when she finally decided to put an end in that continuous suffering; the one responsible for her safety and of her daughter’s, and most importantly, he was the one who would fight for her love.

"... it hurts too much..." she managed to murmur; her tears never ceasing from falling.

"I know it does, sweetie... But it also hurts too much to see you crying, to see you suffering..." he pulled away just a few inches and gently lay both hands against her cheeks, "And it has to have an end, Roma. You don’t deserve it, that’s not the way you should be treated, that’s not the way you should live your life..."

She let out another sob, "I... I don’t know how to live my life anymore..."

"Then let me hold your hand and help you to learn how to do it again; you don’t have to do it alone, baby. You’ll always have me to help you! I just need you to trust me..."

Roma searched his green eyes trying to judge if those words were really true – she wasn’t used to that kind of treatment, it had been a long time she didn’t know what sincerity and kindness were. But, deep inside her heart, she also knew that John was different; in the brightness of those green eyes she could see the love and care he had always showed her, either with comforting words or with simple gestures, such as holding her tightly. If there was a shelter from that terrible storm happening in her life, that shelter was him. His constant reassurance finally broke the barrier and made Roma give up her previous resistance to be helped.

"You promise? Promise you won’t let me fail, even though I feel that I already have?"

John saw the great amount of trust in the way she looked at him and it made his heart swell with love as much as it caused him to feel nervous – yes, she trusted him, and he would never ever let her down. That question was the proof of trust the blond actor had been waiting for, the evidence that from that moment on he had to be more careful than ever; he couldn’t take risks concerning her heart as it was like a delicate jewel that could easily be broken.

"I give you my word, honey. I’ll be there with you, always at your side. And you didn’t fail. Much on the contrary, a few days ago, you conquered your first victory, sweetie. You gave the first step towards a new life." he took her both hands and squeezed them gently, "And I can see that this new life is filled only with happy moments."

"It’s a bit difficult to believe this after all I’ve been through..." she said, lowering her eyes for a few moments, and raising them again soon afterwards, "... but when I hear it from you... it seems so true..."

"It can be true if you want. And I know that you do want it to be true – for that little one over there and for you." they looked briefly at Reilly, who was now much calmer and happily playing with the soft wet sand and a little bucket. John took his dearest friend’s hand and guided her to sit down on the sand, also doing the same thing. Then, never letting go of her hand, he spoke again, "Tell me what happened..."

The Irish actress turned her eyes to the deep blue ocean, letting the flashbacks of a night she’d rather forget to come back to her memory. "David and I had and argument... He... He didn’t want me to go to California for that special appearance on that charity event... He said it wasn’t fair he was at home and that I was away... He even insinuated that I shouldn’t be involved with those events, nor with the show... according to him, my place was at his side."

"You know that’s not true, right?" he asked, narrowing his eyes to hear such absurd thing.

"I told him so, I told him he was wrong but... David started to criticise the quality of the show, he said that it’s not gonna take me anywhere..." a fresh tear rolled down her cheek, "I couldn’t stand him talking like that about something that means so much to me... besides all the good things it brought to my career, the show gave me so many dear friends... Della, Martha and... and you..."

She turned her eyes to him and, for the second time on that morning, John felt his heart skip a bit with so much love. With a slight smile on his face, he reached out and placed some strands of hair behind her ear, "It was exactly the same with me, honey..."

"I’ll be eternally grateful for it... That’s why I had to tell him, Johnny! I had to tell him what the show means to me! I said that it gave me a wonderful family... And that was when he got mad..."

The blond actor felt a knot forming in the pit of his stomach with the story that was about to come. Roma lowered her eyes once more and kept on talking. "It’s been over a year that David seems to get mad at me without any reason... he accused me of rejecting him and our daughter, he said that I was changing them for strangers..."

"You carry Reilly with you everywhere since the day she was born," John quickly replied.

"... He said that... that he had his doubts about that article on the magazine the other day, about us two dating..." tears started to fall freely now, breaking her dearest friend’s heart, "... I told him he was being unfair, that it wasn’t true and that I had never given him a reason to doubt of me! And... and I told him that...if he thought I was capable of such thing then maybe there was something wrong with our marriage... That was when he started yelling at me, threatening me, threatening to take Reilly away from me... Things finally came to a point where... he... he hit me..."

Roma was sobbing and John was quick to hold her in his arms, clearly regretting to have asked her about that night, feeling guilty to make all those awful memories to come back to her mind. "Shh... calm down sweetie... Please, don’t say anything else..."

"No... I need to tell someone... I can’t seem to hold it inside of me anymore..." she insisted, resting her cheek on his chest, "... when David hit my face he did it with so much strength that I lost my balance and fell over the coffee table... That’s why I got some broken ribs..."

The blond actor squeezed her a bit more and closed his eyes with a mix of totally different feelings in his mind: if on one side he was burning with anger at what that man was capable of doing, on the other, he felt fiercely protective of her and wished to take the little actress – the woman he loved, away from the rest of the world and to hold her tightly until all her pain was over.

"... he didn’t help me to stand up... he saw me fallen on the floor, in pain, with my face and my body hurt, but instead of regretting, he just kept on yelling and threatening me..." after a short pause, she concluded the sad report, "... and then, when he was finally over, he just left the room, saying that now I should think twice before doing something stupid..."

He cradled her in his arms as her pain washed over them both in waves. John knew deep in his heart that there was still more to the story, more untold horrors that would only find their way to the surface with time, but this was a start. He had learned early on that Roma was a strong young woman and for someone to be able to reduce her to fear as David had could only cause him to imagine what her life must have been like when she arrived home each night from the set.

Once her violent sobs had quieted to a much softer weeping, John pulled away ever so slightly and swiped at the shiny paths her tears had made on her cheeks, "Roma," He whispered softly, waiting until her swollen eyes had found his to continue, "He was wrong. You know that, right? David didn’t have any right to hit you, to hurt you. None of this is your fault."

She was quiet for a long moment, and then struggled to control the tremble of her voice when she could finally speak, "It…it takes two to fail a marriage, John."

The words were whispered, but they held enough conviction to have been shouted. John could feel his own eyes burning as he saw the broken expression in hers and he thought about the man who had been controlling her for the last year. David had burdened her with guilt and had abused her mentally and psychologically long before any physical abuse had begun. Those wounds would take much longer to heal than the bruise on her face or her ribs.

"You know, Angel, in most cases, I would agree with you, but not in this one," Seeing her start to shake her head, he moved his hand to cup her chin, "It’s the truth, Roma. You did nothing wrong."

Roma looked away, her blurred gaze falling once again on the ocean. There was no way to explain to John why she felt the way she did, how failing two marriages had to mean that there was something faulty within herself. Besides, she wasn’t completely innocent in how things had turned out, not that she would change any of it.

"I…I’m tired, John," She said softly, wiping at her eyes, "Can we go back?"

He regarded her in silence for a moment before nodding his head, "Of course." He got to his feet and extended his hands to her to help her, and then he scooped the baby up in his arms, cradling her against his shoulder. Turning, he saw Roma watching him and he tentatively extended his hand to her, exhaling quietly when she finally slipped her small hand into his.

*****

A few hours later, Roma opened her eyes slowly. Her gaze was met by the rays of the sunset on the ocean and she realized that she must have fallen asleep on the sofa almost as soon as they had arrived back at the house. John had obviously covered her with the quilt that had been carefully tucked around her body and she could smell coffee brewing from the kitchen. How was it that John Dye seemed to know her better than her own husband did?

It was only then that she could feel his gaze and she shifted her own to see her friend sitting in the chair across from her with a book in his hands. He was watching her carefully as if trying to gauge if she was all right, "Is Reilly sleeping?" She asked softly as she remained curled up underneath the quilt.

"Like the little angel that she is," John smiled, his affection for Reilly apparent in his eyes.

"She is, isn’t she?" The young actress replied softly as a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

A second later, a shadow fell over her expression and John watched as her dark eyes flickered nervously over to him before they focused out the picture window once again. He knew she was contemplating telling him something and he didn’t want to push her, yet he found himself holding his breath just the same.

"David didn’t want her."

The soft words were enough to cause John’s heart to skip a beat, "Reilly?"

"He didn’t want children," Roma worked the inside of her lip worriedly, unsure if she should continue, "He insisted that I stay on birth control, even though I wanted children. He wouldn’t hear of it."

John chose to remain quiet, already having some idea of where this might be heading. She was avoiding looking in his direction and he could see the pink tinge to her cheeks even in the waning sunlight.

"When…when things started to get bad between us…" Roma hesitated, picking at a piece of invisible lint on the comforter, before she changed directions slightly and continued, "David started staying out late and coming home drunk. He would just…he would lash out at me, accusing me of flirting with other men on the set, insisting that I was cheating on him, but John, I swear to God, I never was."

He could detect the tiny tremor in her voice, a near plea for him to believe her, "Roma, I know that."

"He…he never hit me back then, but he would push me on occasions and call me some terrible things and then he would…."

John was sure she could hear his heart pounding in his chest as he watched the emotions that washed over her face. He could see the tears forming in her eyes and the way her chin trembled slightly as she struggled for composure and courage to finish what she had begun. He wanted to beg her to stop, unable to stand the pain that talking about David put her in, but then he remembered what she had said on the beach. She needed to get out the bits and pieces of her life with David and he had to allow her to do that.

Roma left out a tiny sob, then regained her composure, "Then he would use me…he had quit…he had quit making love to me a long time ago. It became all about what he wanted because he had been drinking and even if I didn’t want to…it didn’t matter what I wanted."

"Oh God, Roma…." John started to get up to go to her, seeing the terrible shame in her eyes and longing to shelter her in his arms, but she raised a hand to stop him.

"Johnny, let me finish, please…I need to…" The tears were slipping down her cheeks and seeing the torment in her friend’s green eyes only caused another soft sob to escape, "I finally decided that maybe…maybe if we could have a child it would change everything. I know, John, I know that was the wrong reason; that bringing a baby into that hell wasn’t the right thing to do, but I didn’t want to fail at another marriage. I just couldn’t. So, I went off the pill and the next time David came home drunk and hateful, I didn’t fight him and a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant."

She let out a shuddering breath as she sat up, curling her legs beneath her, and tugging the quilt around her shoulders, feeling cold despite the cozy warmth of the room. She felt completely drained, the telling of this story leaving her emotionally spent, but she had to finish it. Someone had to know. John had to know.

"The night I told him we were expecting, he was furious. He wanted me to get rid of it, but I wouldn’t do that. We fought for hours, but I never told him that I had gone off the pill. I just let him think it was one of those things as nothing is one hundred percent effective. I just kept thinking that once he held his baby in his arms that it would all be okay. That somehow, the man I had fallen in love with and married would come back to me," Roma paused, wiping at the persistent tears, "He would barely speak to me through the pregnancy and I was alone in the delivery room the night Reilly was born. He wouldn’t come. He didn’t want anything to do with her. But when I saw Reilly, none of it mattered to me. She was beautiful and I immediately loved her with my whole heart and I just knew that when I brought her home, David would feel the same way."

John was sitting on the edge of his chair, feeling every tear in his own heart, "But he didn’t, did he?"

Roma shook her head, once again fighting to get the words out, "The day I brought her home was the first time he ever hit me. I guess…I guess he knew he could get away with it because I would be out on maternity leave. It was like he had been holding it in for nine months, John…he didn’t want to hold Reilly or love her….he just wanted to hurt me!"

The blond actor couldn’t wait another second: he quickly shortened the distance between them and searched for a place at her side. Then, he carefully wrapped his arm around her small trembling shoulders and, with a gentle movement, pulled her closer to him, making her rest her head on his chest. As she cried, John ran his fingers through her auburn hair, trying to calm her down, to put her heart at ease after so many painful revelations. But, despite the horrible things she had told him – and Roma’s story was far more dreadful and sadder that he could have possibly imagined, John was also grateful that she had made no resistance to his caresses and reassurance, much on the contrary, she leaned on his embrace, once again showing that she trusted him, maybe with her very existence at that moment. And one thing was for sure: he knew how to treat her how she deserved.

He held his dearest friend for many long, silent minutes, and waited patiently for her sobs to subside. Only then did he speak again, "Shh... it’s all over now, sweetie... you’re safe and away from that nightmare, it won’t happen again..."

"That’s what I’m afraid of... I’m... I’m afraid that he finds us here, that he threatens me..."

"No, Roma, that’s never gonna happen!" he gently admonished her.

"But how can you..."

"I won’t let him do anything against you or Reilly!" he cupped her chin and lifted her head, so that she could look at his loving green eyes as he made that promise, "David will never lay his hands on you again, Roma, never. He’ll have to face me first and I swear to you that I won’t let him hurt you!"

One more time, Roma could see the truth in his green loving eyes. Sniffling, she nodded her head and let him wipe her tears with gentle fingers – she was physically and mentally exhausted to think about the implications of her leaving home. It all could be handled later. All that mattered at that moment was being away from that man, being safe in the arms of a kind friend who had promised to protect and watch over her and her baby daughter.

Some more long minutes passed by before John broke the silence in the living room. "Would you like some coffee? I have just brewed some..."

"Yes, that... that would be lovely. Thank you, John... For everything..."

Right before he stood up (secretly hating to pull away from her even if it was for a few moments), John bent his head and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, "I am the one who has to say thanks. Thank you for trusting me, Roma. Thank you for giving me this honour. Be sure I’ll never let you down, never."

Then he stood up and headed towards the kitchen, being silently and secretly followed by Roma’s doe-like eyes, as if she was still contemplating the safe harbour that kind man represented to her life.

*

"That’s very good, John. Thank you..." the Irish actress said, holding a mug of mochalatte in both hands, minutes later.

"Hum... if you and Monica can approve of it, then it really must be good!" The blond actor was once again sitting by her side, also with a mug of his own. The warm drink along with the cosy atmosphere in Della’s house and John comforting presence seemed to put her heart at ease and, slowly, the cheerful traits in her personality seemed to become visible again. A slight smile appeared in her lips as some nice memories came back to her mind. "When I was a child back in Ireland I remember that my father used to prepare coffee for him and for my mother... I can still remember the smell of it brewing while I was playing around, it was very similar to this one. I was just a wee bit older than Reilly then..."

John smiled tenderly to see that at least for a while he had managed to make her forget the sad things that had happened in the last weeks. "And I bet you were as lovely as she is!"

Her smile grew wider and she blushed a little, "Well, I don’t know about that..." she replied, "But I was quite a talkative wee one, as well as my brother Joseph! And I also remember that the coffee ritual happened right after we had dinner... We used to get together everyday, by 8 o’clock... it was a happy dinner, you know."

He placed his hand on her shoulder and rubbed it softly, "I can see that judging by the smile on your face!"

She was going to say something else but a little girl’s voice interrupted them – Reilly was calling for her mom in a way that indicated she was about to cry. The Irish actress put the empty mug on the coffee table and quickly stood up, "Oh she’s awake... she always gets a wee bit scared when she wakes up and doesn’t find me there..."

"Oh that’s okay, you’d better go, and I guess you should also take the chance to rest a little more, you know."

"Don’t you mind if I ..."

"Of course not! Take as much sleep as you can, Roma."

"Thank you... I’ll stay with Reilly for a while and then I’ll come back to help ya with dinner, ok?"

"Deal." He spoke, but with the slight impression that she would end up falling asleep next to her lovely baby daughter. And secretly, it was exactly what he wanted, as her happy childhood memories gave him a nice idea.

*

The night had already fallen and the first stars were appearing in the sky when Roma woke up, with little Reilly sitting on the bed and staring at her with a cute smile on her meek face. "Hi!" she said, finding it funny to watch her mom waking up. Roma couldn’t help but smile too – all the pain and suffering she had been through couldn’t erase the joy of having that sweet little child with her; Reilly was indeed a present from God and there wasn’t anything in the whole world that she wouldn’t do for that little angel.

"Hi, my little princess! You’re up already, huh?"

"Yes... I see you sleeping, mommy!" she spoke, happily clapping her chubby hands.

"Well, now you can see me tickling my wee baby girl!"

Roma poked her fingers on her daughter’s belly and the little girl let out a happy squeal, which caused the actress to smile broadly. "Mommy!" Reilly shouted, but her mom didn’t stop tickling her until they heard a light knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in!" she spoke, as she already knew who it was. John opened the door and the image of his beloved friend holding her baby daughter and of both of them smiling caused his heart to swell with tenderness and infinite love.

"Ah, let me guess: your mom is making a mess around here, right, little one?" he joked, watching as Reilly was trying to fight to get free from her mother’s embrace.

"Mommy is tickling me, uncle Johnny!" the excitement in her hazel eyes and the way she was visibly enjoying that caused the two adults to exchange an amused glance.

"Well, I can help her if you want!" he came closer to the bed and only caused the girl to laugh and shout even louder, "No!!!"

"Hum... okay, I’ll let you escape on one condition: you’re gonna comb your hair, wash your hands and go downstairs cause dinner is served!"

"Okay, I promise!!!"

Only then Roma realised that she had totally forgotten about dinner – she had just fallen asleep and left him alone to take care of everything. "Oh my God, John! I overslept! I was supposed to help you, but..."

Chuckling at her embarrassment, he shook his head and held a hand to her, "No, you falling asleep right next to this little angel was exactly what I wanted, Ms Downey!"

"But I..."

"You rested and, meanwhile, I was able to prepare a little surprise for you..."

"A surprise?" she frowned lightly without understanding the mysterious look on his handsome face.

"I’ll be waiting for you two ladies downstairs!" saying nothing more, he left the bedroom with a pleased smile.

A few minutes later, now properly dressed and with their hair combed, Roma and Reilly climbed down the stairs. John had been waiting for them at the end of the stairs and as they reached the bottom, he offered his hand to Roma and his heart seemed to skip a bit when she took it.

"You two look just lovely!"

"John, we’re wearing sweatsuits and tennis!" she kindly objected, even though his words were always flattering.

"Well, you two are lovely anyway!" he insisted, and then guided them to the dining room. "And now I just hope you like my little surprise..."

"What surprise is it, John, what..."

Roma’s voice ceased when she saw the beautiful table he had set for the three of them - and, judging by the good smell of food and the way it looked like, everything seemed really delicious. "Oh my goodness, John..."

"When you told me about your family reunions at the dinner table you gave me the idea to prepare this for you... I know it’s not the same but..." he hesitated a little, but then, concluded his sentence, "... well, I just wanted you two to know that... that I love you as if you were my family... that’s what I’ve always felt about you, Reilly and Della... And... I just hope that I could be part of your family... at least tonight..."

Her eyes were immediately filled with tears as she looked at him. For a long minute, no one said another word, and their gaze wasn’t broken until John cleared his throat and walked towards the table. "Please, come here…" he asked pulling the chairs for both Roma and Reilly. "I hope you like the menu…"

***

Later that night Roma walked back to the living room to find John and Reilly after dinner. She had insisted she’d be doing the dishes as he had prepared the meal, and wanting not to upset her in any way, John had reluctantly accepted after reassuring her it has been a pleasure for him to make such a nice dinner for "the most beautiful ladies he had met in his whole life".

What Roma saw when she approached the sofa brought tears to her eyes again. Reilly was peacefully sleeping, her head resting on John’s chest, his heartbeat obviously lulling her, and the way her little hand clutched his shirt only spoke of how much she trusted him. That was a scene the Irish actress had seen many times in the forum… but sadly never at home. David never used to rock Reilly to sleep, less the little girl would search her father’s lap at nights. But when coming to John, she would always climb to his lap and he would always welcome her, showing a tenderness that seemed a little hard to imagine in a man like John, who had well deserved the title of unreachable bachelor. She had been standing by the wall for a couple of seconds when John became aware of her presence there and shot her a warm smile.

"I’m glad she liked dinner. It looks she’ll sleep through all the night…" he whispered careful not to awake the baby.

"You always manage to do that, Johnnie. I really don’t know what magic you do but she sleeps like an angel when you rock her to sleep…" Roma said coming closer and taking a seat by their side.

"As long as you don’t say I’m as fluffy as feather pillow, everything’s all right!" he joked. "Other way I’ll suit my gym trainer!" When he heard the small chuckle he was aiming for, he reached to hold Roma’s hand. "You know I’m always here for you two, right? That I’ll help you with anything you need… even if it is only rocking her to sleep."

Roma dropped her gaze to see their tangled hands and then met his green eyes. They were shinning with such an intensity that she had to fight a sharp intake. Sometimes John confused her. He could be as seductive as the most famous movie star, and as tender as he was being now, with her baby girl in his arms. But what never confused her was the way he treated her: like the most valuable woman in the world, like someone who really deserved to be treated like a queen, almost reverently and certainly with utter tenderness. In times like this, when she’d meet his eyes and see in them such a shining truth, she’d feel like throwing her arms around his neck and letting him hug her tightly, sure that nowhere in the world she’d find the security he could offer. Those were the times where she’d think it was pure love what John felt for her, but she didn’t want to fool herself. She had never found a man who would love her in the way she had always thought love had to be, and she was now sure it was a fairy tale dream. Love was not that one of Cinderella or that of Snowhite and their Charming princes, that she knew first hand. When this reality hit her mind, she’d close her heart to the warm of the love she could feel coming from John to her, sure that all she wanted from him was his friendship and never the pain she had known so far.

"Roma?" John’s soft voice made her snap out of her reverie. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I’m sorry…" she said shaking her head. "I just got lost in thought…"

Feeling Reilly stirring slightly, John moved to handle her the sleeping baby. "Why don’t you take her bed? I’ll wait for you and we’ll talk a little more if you want… The night is warm and there are a lot of stars in the sky. We can have a cup of coffee at the balcony…"

"Ok…" Roma accepted taking her baby. "I’ll be right back."

A few minutes later, Roma walked back to the balcony to find it empty. The warm, soft wind brought the sea smell to her face and it made her remember the summer nights in Ireland, when she was a little girl who loved to count the stars. Her father used to spend some time with her, sitting on a high bank and she on his lap, pointing out the constellations and the biggest and brightest stars. How far away those days seemed to be. An unpleasant shiver ran along Roma’s back when she thought that she was far from being in some of her childhood nice days; that she in fact was running away from the most frightening season of her life. She wrapped her arms around herself, like trying to protect herself from some distant danger, and she couldn’t help but murmur a very quiet "Oh, Father, help me…", but loud enough for John to hear it on his way back to the balcony.

"There is nothing to fear now, Roma," he said and felt like throwing the coffees away and just hold her tight. "I will never ever let anything happen to you and Reilly, I promise…" he said placing the mugs on a table and walking to take her hands. They were cold and trembling, in spite of the warm night, and when he met her eyes, he could read the desperate request in her dark pools.

"I’m so afraid, Johnnie…" she confessed softly.

The blond actor felt a sudden wave of anger run through his body; how he hated to see his co-star in such a state of mind and, of course, to think of the one responsible for that. He studied each line of Roma’s face in silence, watching carefully how her eyes started to fill with tears until they rolled down her cheeks. It was all he needed. He pulled her into a bone-breaking hold, each one of her sobs shaking his very heart. He buried his fingers in her hair, pulling her head to his shoulder, steadying it there, while his other arm circled her waist, offering her the security he only could offer. When he was fully aware of the weight of her body towards his, he realized something he hadn’t accepted openly: he needed her like that in his arms, it was the only way his heart felt at ease again. To know he was the one that could erase her pain and make her feel safe. Safe… and loved. Because now he knew it: he loved her, he had fallen for his co-star…

And for a second everything around the world for John Dye was nothing but Roma. Her perfume, her hands digging into his back, her wet cheek touching the skin of his neck, her hair tangling on his fingers, her slim figure so close to him… His body was reacting on his own, his heartbeat quickening and he was unable to fight it. It was the same emotion he had only felt when he was a silly teenager drooling for some woman older than him that had stolen his thoughts for a couple of weeks. Only that he knew it would be more than two weeks this time… He was in love, he had always been since he had first seen her, almost three years ago. He couldn’t fight the sigh that escaped his lips after a long moment of holding her, of feeling her so close to him.

And that sigh didn’t go unnoticed to Roma. Only then she became aware of the way John was holding her, so different to the hug that a common friend can offer… She opened her eyes, thinking for a brief second about letting go of him, but when she moved so slightly, she felt again his warmth around her body, his strength that was at the same time so carefully tight, and a wave of security invaded her. No man had ever held her like that… or at least she had never felt that way in the arms of a man… Only when she felt John starting to stroke her hair, she relaxed and pulled away a little later.

When Roma finally broke their holding, John reached a hand to cup her face softly, the traces of the bruise near her eye still a little visible. "I promise you’ll never go through something like this ever again, baby," the blond actor murmured softly, his green eyes so full with a different kind of light since that moment. "Over my dead body… No one will ever hurt you or touch you like David did, Roma… I will always look after you…"

New tears shone in her eyes with John’s words. "Please, Johnnie…" she murmured and met his green eyes again for a long, long moment. He could read the pleading in her expression, his whole body was reacting to Roma’s suffering, his desire to stop her pain a physical ache for him now. He sighed again and leaned down to kiss her forehead lovingly, a long warm kiss. "I will, sweetie, I will…"

Only then, he felt his cell phone starting to vibrate in his pocket. Only when Roma noticed it too, he did pull apart. "Yes?" he replied to the calling.

Roma watched worriedly as John listened to the caller, already knowing it had something to do with her, just by the way he was watching her with such fierce protection in his eyes. It had to be Della, she reasoned, as no one else knew anything of what was happening to her, of the nightmare her life had become. She listened as John made only small, vocal acknowledgements, obviously not wanting to frighten her, and Roma found herself wiping self consciously at her tears, angry with herself for not being stronger.

Even as he listened to Della’s words, John could feel additional panic welling up inside of him as he watched Roma’s entire demeanour change. For a day, she had lowered her walls and allowed him to share in her pain, but now he could almost see her erecting them once more. What made him even sadder was that on some level, he understood. She had been hurt so badly; physically, emotionally and had been no match for David’s strength. All she’d had to protect herself with had been her internal strength as without that, John couldn’t imagine how she would have survived. For what felt like a brief moment today, he had truly been able to see her brokenness and she had allowed him to be there for her. He would fight to keep her from closing him out again. She had been alone with this pain for far too long.

"Yeah, thanks. We’ll be in touch….I will…" John snapped the phone closed, having never once taken his eyes from Roma’s face, but now she avoided his eyes as she stared out to the ocean.

"David called her, didn’t he?" Roma asked, her voice tight.

Though he longed to touch her, something about the rigid way she was standing caused him to shove his hands deep into the pockets of his blue jeans instead, "Yeah. He stopped by actually, demanding to know where you were. Della didn’t tell him anything of course, but….you’re going to have to decide what you want to do, Roma."

Not trusting herself to speak, Roma simply nodded her head as she drew in a ragged breath, fighting to get control of her emotions. She should probably ask John how David had behaved, but why, when she already knew the answer. He had played the role of a concerned husband, just as he always did when anyone else was looking. It was only when they were alone that he allowed the truth to be seen. Those were the times when he made her feel worthless, used and humiliated….

Her hand flew to her mouth as a small sob escaped her. The things she had told John today….she was so ashamed! What he must think of her now!

Feeling John’s gentle hands on her shoulders, she shook her head and inched out of his grasp, "Johnny, please…don’t…"

He could almost feel the waves of shame coming from her and he felt his heartbeat quicken. He knew he was taking a chance, but it had to be well worth it. Taking her firmly by the shoulders, John turned her to face him, watching as she quickly averted her watery gaze.

"Roma, look at me," He stated firmly, dipping his head to look directly into her face, "Look at me."

Something in his voice was unavoidable and somehow she found the strength to meet his eyes for a moment. She nearly looked away again, but suddenly, a firm but gentle hand cupped her chin, not allowing her to hide.

The deep shame in her dark eyes caused John’s heart to ache as he watched her press her lips firmly together to keep from crying, even as fresh tears dampened her lashes. Somehow, with Della’s call, it had once again become abundantly clear to the little actress that this situation was not in the past. Her confessions to him earlier were suddenly very real to her and John could see how she suddenly seemed to realize that it had not been a story she had been telling him; she had been telling him about her life.

"Roma, listen to me. Don’t close me out. I want to help you. You know that."

"I…I shouldn’t have told you….those things…what you must think of me…" A tiny sob escaped her as she closed her eyes painfully.

"No." He replied sternly, before he softened his tone and repeated himself, "No. Sweetheart, please, just listen," His green eyes were intense as he gazed into her tear-filled, brown pools, "All I think of you is how much I care about you, baby. How much I want to help you and how I will protect you from being hurt by this man again. Roma, please…let me help you through this. Don’t pull away when it gets hard."

The tears slipped from her eyes as she saw the affection in his gaze that for some reason was directed at her, "Why do you care so much?" She whispered brokenly.

A tender smile crossed his face as he moved to swipe at her tears with his fingertips, "Because I always have, Roma…and because you are so worth it."

And suddenly she was crying again and in his arms, only aware that for the first time in so very long, she felt perfectly safe.

*****

When John opened his eyes the following morning, he could smell coffee already brewing; a sure indicator that Roma was awake. Last night had emotionally drained her and she had finally cried herself to sleep in his arms once he had taken her inside. The pain that had been emerging from her had been frightening, but at least it was beginning to emerge. He had carried her back to her room rather reluctantly as he had felt perfectly content with her asleep in his arms. He had been unable to immediately leave her, however. Instead he had sat in the chair next to her bed, watching her face as she slept. Roma was still so pale and he could so plainly see the darkness beneath her eyes from many sleepless nights. He had marvelled at the fact that while he watched her sleep, she seemed as if she was half woman; strong, determined, a survivor, and half little child; afraid and seeking a safe refuge, a place to hide. He wanted to be that safe place for her.

He knew he loved her. He knew he had loved her nearly from the first moment he had set eyes on her, but if he were ever going to be able to tell Roma of his feelings, it would have to be far into the future. She was in no way ready to handle such revelations and he could only hope and pray that she would one day be ready at all.

"Uncle Johnny?" The little sing-song voice of three year old Reilly caused him to grin as he sat up in bed to see the tousled curly head of the little girl.

"Well, good morning, sunshine," He greeted her, reaching to help her up onto the bed as she started to climb up.

"Everyone is up but you," Reilly informed him, "Mommy is already up and talking to Miss Amy on the phone."

John raised an eyebrow. ‘Miss Amy’ as Reilly called her, was Roma’s lawyer. It appeared that the young actress had made some decisions, but before he could contemplate that any further, Reilly was talking again.

"I’m glad you’re here, uncle Johnny," She stated quite seriously, "Mommy has been very sad for a long, long time and I think you are like medicine for her."

"Medicine, huh?" John chuckled. He, Roma, and Della had often marvelled at the precocious little girl and her perception of things. Reilly had started talking early and ever since then, it always amazed them at the things she picked up on.

"Yeah. Like the medicine mommy gave me when I had a cold. It helped me, even though when I took it, I really didn’t think it would."

"Is your mommy sad this morning, sweetie?" John asked softly, gazing down at the child in his arms.

"Yes. She’s sad a lot…because of my real daddy."

Her choice of words surprised the actor and he was unable to help but to question her, "Your real daddy, Reilly? What do you mean?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I know he is really my daddy, but you feel more like a daddy then him, uncle Johnny. You read me stories and play with me and love me….my real daddy doesn’t do any of those things."

John closed his eyes briefly, trying to ward off the overpowering need to break David’s jaw. The bastard had so deeply hurt the two people he loved most in this world and John could never absolve him of that fact.

"Well, Reilly, that’s because I do love you, very, very much. And your daddy has no idea what he is missing by not taking the time to know you, because you know what, princess? You are one of my very favourite people in the whole wide world." He hugged her tightly as she giggled happily.

"Really, uncle Johnny?"

"Really."

"Well then, that’s perfect cuz you’re one of my favourites too."

Getting out of bed, John pulled on a sweatshirt over his t-shirt and then hoisted Reilly up on his shoulders, "Good. Now, how about we go see how my other favourite person is doing?"

Roma looked up when she heard Reilly laughing and the sound was both comforting and painful. It had been so long since she had heard Reilly laugh like that other then when they were on the set of "Touched by an Angel." Things were always so different at home and Roma would be a fool to think that the little girl had not been affected by David’s abuse.

Getting up, she poured John a cup of coffee as he came into the kitchen with Reilly on his shoulders.

"I think this belongs to you, Miss Downey," John grinned as he reached up and swept Reilly down to the ground.

Roma returned his smile as she handed him the cup of coffee, "Yes, I believe she does," Kneeling down, Roma spoke to her daughter, "Sweetie, can you go and get yourself dressed? I need to talk to John for a few minutes."

"Sure, mommy," Reilly replied before accepting her mother’s warm hug. Before she let go, however, she whispered into Roma’s ear, "I hope you get happy again soon, mommy."

Tears instantly sprang to Roma’s eyes, "Me too, baby."

As Reilly headed off to the bedroom, Roma stood back up and looked up at John, "I talked to Amy a little while ago. She’ll be here this afternoon."

John regarded his dear friend for a moment. He could tell that she had not slept soundly during the night, regardless of how emotionally spent she had been. There was also a tension about her that concerned him, "What are you going to do, sweetie?"

"I’m going to file for a divorce," She whispered after a moment, "And…um…Amy suggested a retraining order to keep David from coming near us."

"I think that is wise," John replied softly."

"It’s not a guarantee, of course. He could still try to find me…but then again, once the show goes back into production in August, he’ll know exactly where I am anyway…"

He could hear the panic in her voice rising, and he stepped closer to place his hands gently on her shoulders, "I meant what I said last night, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of you and Reilly."

Though she still couldn’t begin to understand why he would want to do that, Roma nodded her head, only needing to accept his offer right now, "I need to ask you a favour, Johnny. You’ve already done so much for me already, but-."

"Roma," He smiled gently at her, "Just name it."

"Would you mind taking Reilly out for awhile today before Amy gets here? I don’t really want her around to hear the things we are going to be talking about and given the fact that I’m filing for divorce….well, I’m not so sure it is a good idea that Amy knows you’ve been staying here. If David were to find out…" Her dark eyes were pleading for him to understand. She didn’t want David thinking that anything was going on between she and John other than their friendship, but David would twist things all out of proportion and make her look like she was having an affair.

*

After Amy had left, Roma remained at the balcony for a long time, thinking about how the life she had dreamed for herself – with a loving husband and a beautiful little daughter, had crumbled to pieces like that. The talk with the lawyer had been hard and painful decisions had to be made. However, the Irish actress knew there was no turning back – she had been through a lot of suffering and that had to end, for her own sake and, most importantly, for Reilly’s sake. Besides, the love she once felt for David was over, that was for sure, and the only good thing that had come from that marriage was their little baby girl. For her, she would fight with all her strength, and she wouldn’t be alone: John would always be there for her.

The silence of the house was starting to bring some anguish to her heart – she was getting used to Reilly’s and John’s laugher; when they were all together it seemed that her problems were adjusted to a new, much smaller dimension; it seemed that their presence gave her the necessary strength and courage to fight any battle.

Roma sighed deeply and wiped away a few tears, wondering where John and Reilly were and wanting to hold her little daughter tightly in her arms again. But she didn’t remain alone for a long time: suddenly some familiar excited giggles coming from downstairs reached her ears and put a smile back on her sad face.

When the Irish actress climbed down the stairs she saw a scene that melted her heart: Reilly was running right in front of John, who was pretending to be making a lot of effort to catch her. The little girl’s face and her T-shirt were dirty with chocolate and icecream and she had a cute broad smile, evidence that she was having a lot of fun with her ‘uncle Johnny’.

"Mommy!!! Uncle Johnny is trying to catch me!!!" she yelled, running to Roma. But it was too late: the blond actor grabbed the talkative little girl and, once she was in his arms, he tickled her belly, "I’m not trying to catch you, poppet, I caught you already!"

Roma giggled hearing their laughter and her daughter’s squeals – it was amazing how that kind man could take such a good care of her baby girl and, in the last few weeks, of herself too. John was a real father to Reilly and the way they both connected moved the actress to tears. All that she prayed for was that he could remain by their side, protecting them like a real angel.

"Here, I guess I already had a great time tickling this little one, now she’s all yours, sweetie!" he said, giving her the little girl after kissing Reilly’s cheek.

Smiling, Roma narrowed her eyes and looked playfully at her little daughter’s face. "Alright! But before I start tickling you too, missy, let me take a look at you... Hum... I clearly remember that before you two went out you didn’t have those... chocolate and icecream drops all around your face, missy!"

"Uncle Johnny and I went for an icecream, mommy!" the girl happily announced.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, and he bought me some chocolate and then we went to the beach and I made the birds fly!"

"Hum... I see, so you had a lot of fun, yes?" she asked, shooting a loving and thankful glance at her dearest friend, who smiled back at her.

"Yes, but he wants to tickle me!"

"Well, I have an idea: how about you getting a good shower to remove all the chocolate and icecream and beach sand you have all over you, huh? That way, your uncle Johnny will see that you’re a very neat little angel and won’t want to tickle you anymore!"

"Hum... okay, but... can we do this again tomorrow?"

"Yes, it’s okay, but tomorrow. Now let’s go, I’ll give you a good shower and get you ready for dinner!" and then she turned to the blond actor and mouthed a ‘thank you’ full of gratitude. John wanted to ask her how the conversation with the lawyer was, he wanted to tell her that whatever she had to face, he was there for her. But that had to wait; from the tears in her eyes he could see that the talk had been really hard one and now he would make sure that dinner was a happy one.

*

While Roma was giving Reilly a bath, John prepared their dinner. When he and the little girl were returning to the house, he passed by a small market and bought some more icecream and a pie, which now would be a great dessert. By seven, the food was served and the Irish actress complained once more that he shouldn’t have done all the work alone, even if she herself had helped him a little. And, once again, the trio sat down at the table and had dinner like a real family – of course little Reilly was one of the greatest responsible for lightening up the room: the afternoon she had spent with her beloved ‘uncle Johnny’ was unforgettable, that was for sure, and now both shared memories only a loving father and his little daughter would share.

Exhausted after such a ‘busy’ day, the little girl was soon sleepy and by nine, with her eyes practically closing, she heard her mother saying it was time to go to bed.

"You promise we’ll do everything again tomorrow?" she spoke, rubbing her eyes with her tiny hands.

"If the weather is good, yes, baby. Now, let’s go, you need to sleep honey..."

Yawning, she nodded her head, "K... uncle Johnny, can you carry me, please?"

He and Roma exchanged an amused glance and he gathered her in his strong arms, "On board, little one!"

"Thank you... you won’t tickle me, will you?"

"Oh no, don’t worry. I’ll save my energies for tomorrow!" he playfully replied, kissing her head.

They headed to the little girl’s bedroom upstairs and after Roma had arranged the blanket and the pillows, John placed Reilly carefully on her bed and he and Roma covered the baby’s small body.

"Have only good dreams, princess," he said, kneeling right beside her bed and kissing her forehead.

Roma sat down by the edge of the bed and kissed her daughter’s cheek, "Sleep well, sweetheart."

"I’ll dream that we’re like this forever..." Reilly spoke, looking at them with sleepy innocent eyes.

"What do you mean, honey?" her mother wanted to know, caressing her curly hair.

"I’ll dream that you, uncle Johnny and me are together forever; that we’re a family..."

Chuckling, the two adults looked at each other and John took her tiny hand and kissed it, "And do you think I’d go away from my two favourite girls? That’ll never gonna happen!"

Those words caused a broad smile to appear on Roma’s and on Reilly’s faces. "We’re your favourite girls, uncle Johnny?"

"Of course you are, poppet!"

"Then why don’t you marry mommy and become my daddy?"

That innocent (and somewhat logical) question seemed to have an immediate effect on the two adults standing on each side of the little girl’s bed: while John blushed deeply and looked for the right words to answer to that, Roma, equally blushed, stared at that loving man in front of her without knowing what to say.

"Oh... well, honey, I... I don’t necessarily need to marry your mom to be close to you both..." he finally said, hoping that Roma wouldn’t notice how his greatest secret had been discovered by a 3 year old little girl, who raised her eyebrows in a rather questioning way.

"I know, but it would be more fun if you did!" came the fast answer, "And then you wouldn’t have to go away at night, you could stay with us in our house forever and ever, put me to bed every night and then hold mommy tight all night long!"

"Don’t you think you’re taking too much advantage from your uncle Johnny, already?" Roma gently admonished her, praying that her talkative little daughter would stop talking and fall asleep soon.

"But..."

"No ‘buts,’ missy! You’re closing your eyes right now and start dreaming or we’ll have to forget about tomorrow’s walk on the beach!" Roma quickly replied, fearing another witty remark about her relationship with John; a relationship that, lately, had been constantly on her mind.

Reilly frowned a little and let out a small sigh, "K..."

"Yes, that’s what I want to hear. Now, goodnight, honey. Mom loves you." she placed another kiss on her daughter’s forehead.

"Goodnight, sweetie. See you tomorrow..." John whispered, noticing that she was almost falling asleep, and kissed her tiny hand.

"... night... love you two..." came a final, sleepy answer, which melted the two adults’ hearts. Both left the bedroom and, smiling, John waited for Roma to close the door and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, motioning her downstairs; no words were spoken between them, but the latest 5 minutes would certainly be on their minds for a long time.

***

"So, how was your interview with Amy?" John asked when they climbed down the stairs back to the living room.

Roma shrugged first and took a moment to answer. "As painful as it had to be I guess… I told her everything…"

John reached to take her small hand and covered it with his. "I’m sure it was the best choice you could have taken, baby," he said tenderly. "It’s for your sake and for Reilly’s too."

The Irish actress looked at her hand in his, taking her time to feel how secure she felt with him just holding her hand. "I can’t help but feel I’m depriving my daughter of her father…"

"Roma, no…"

"That’s not what I wanted when I knew I was pregnant and when I married David…" she continued not letting him talk. "I wanted us to be together forever…"

"Sometimes…" John talked slowly, "… it is just not possible, baby…"

"What did I do to deserve this, John?" she asked hardly controlling her tears. "Why can’t I have a relationship that lasts forever, that makes the ‘till death do us part’ thing meaningful? What kind of a woman am I that I can’t do that…?" she asked.

"Roma, no!" John said steadying her head with strong hands and forcing her to face him through teary eyes. "This is not about something you did wrong and you’re being punished after it! You were in love and made a wrong choice, that’s all! It is not that you deserve to suffer, Roma, because what you do deserve is to be happy and to be loved!" John’s heart was beating wildly and he knew he had been a bit too enthusiastic about his last statement when Roma’s eyes searched his looking for confirmation. The lonely tear that ran along her cheek touched the actor’s heart and he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, mentally cursing David for causing Roma so much pain. "I will never let all this happen to you again, Roma," he said, eyes still closed, his forehead touching hers. "I’ve promised you and I will do everything to fulfil that promise".

Slowly he opened his eyes to find her face barely two inches away from his, her lips trembling, her ragged breath warm against his skin. Roma’s eyes were also fixed on John’s face, suddenly unable to think about anything but what that man was offering her. All she could feel was the soft touch of his hands on her face as her mind had definitely refused to think about anything else. "Please, John, make me believe it…" she begged and what the blond actor knew next was that she was kissing him softly on the lips.

He just couldn’t refuse. It was so long since he wanted that. Ever since the first time he had seen her he had wanted to kiss her, to go with her far beyond friendship. Hadn’t she been married, he would have devoted his life to that woman in a way she would not be living this hell on Earth she was going through. Slowly he moved one of his hands to tangle it in her hair and rest on the back of her neck, his kiss still the slightest contact with her lips, even if it was taking all his strength to restrain himself from going beyond that.

"See?" Roma spoke when they broke the kiss, "I don’t deserve love. Not even you want me…" She looked away, tears glistening in her eyes.

Her words hurt John deeply, who never expected something like that from her. He had so dreamed about that kiss, but never with such words coming from her. "You don’t know what you are talking about…" he said, his hand still on her neck, his eyes showing how hurt he was. "There hadn’t been a woman I had wanted more than you."

He had said it. He had to say it. It was killing him and he was no angel to keep his emotions under control for so long.

Roma’s sharp intake told him she hadn’t expected such a confession, yet she didn’t look away from his eyes. For what he felt an eternity, all he was seeing was a pair of dark hazel eyes full of confusion, sadness and expectation. Then she surprised him for the second time in the night.

The Irish actress felt her mind was all out of order. Not only she had kissed her co-star, but also he had now confessed he wanted her as a woman. Just when she felt like the most miserable creature in the world. After what he had said, her world had seemed to reduce only to John and her in that room, in the current time. She felt she needed to hold onto him as to dear life, otherwise she had no way out of the darkness that surrounded her. Her heart was beating wildly, demanding more and more of the closeness her body was reacting to too. She just closed here eyes and leaned over to capture John’s mouth once more. But this time it was not the barely existent kiss she had given him first. This time her kiss was full of longing, of pure lust and desire to which John just couldn’t resist. When she felt him reacting to her kiss, she opened her mouth under his questing lips and allowed him to deepen the kiss more and more.

John knew it wasn’t that Roma had suddenly discovered she was in love with him. She needed to prove herself that someone could care about her, that she could inspire deep passion in someone and not only pity and rejection. He knew he was kissing his self-control away but at that point he didn’t care. He knew long before he was in love with her, and if she needed to feel loved, then he willingly be the one making her feel so.

John let his arms engulf Roma’s slim figure and his hands were now running her waist, now touching every inch of her back, pressing her against his body. He kept on stealing her breath once and again, lost in the battle of wills they were engaged in, aware of nothing but the ecstatic sighs and soft moans coming from Roma. He couldn’t hold on more and soon his right hand wormed its way under her blouse, the mere touch of her soft skin sent a bolt of electricity through his fingers.

Only then did Roma broke the kiss. "Not here, please" she asked, her lips now trailing kisses up to his ear. But she was far from climbing down of that train of desire they were in. She felt him shiver when she placed open mouthed kisses under his jaw and he groaned against her lips when she reached to pull his shirt out of his pants and started to unbutton it.

Fighting against their urge, they reached the room Roma had been using and barely remembered to lock the door, before the Irish actress was pushing John’s shirt away of his shoulders and was running her palms over his strong chest and then over his back pressing herself against him. John broke their kiss only enough to take her blouse off before their arms were wrapped around each other again. Then he was touching her skin once more, sending shivers all up and down her spine, her legs wobbly like jelly, more when she felt him undoing the zipper of her skirt and it was falling to her ankles.

That was the last thing she knew for sure. Everything from that moment on was like a dream, since John took her bra off and cupped her breasts until she was chanting his name like a jinx and then she was lying in his arms in ecstasy, still trembling slightly, his fingers in her hair lulling her to sleep, his warm body making her feel she was back to life.

*****

When John awoke the next morning, a slow grin spread across his handsome face. With his eyes still closed, he could vividly remember all that had happened the night before; the feeling of his body moving with Roma’s, her cries as she had reached completion, falling asleep with her in his arms. Were it not for the fact that he was naked in Roma’s bed, he would have sworn it was a dream.

Stretching out his arm towards her side of the bed, his blissful reverie was shattered as he found Roma missing. A glance at the clock told him how early it was and he knew that Reilly would still be asleep. Besides, he had become accustomed to listening for the child’s little voice and he had not heard it.

John sprung out of bed and yanked on jeans and a t-shirt, his heart pounding in his chest. Was her absence a positive or a negative thing and what would he say to her if it was the latter? He cursed himself for letting things go so far. Though Roma had started the advance, she had been vulnerable and hurting and he had known that and still he had not stopped things. Truth be told, he had been rendered powerless against her desires, but even that fact did not alleviate his guilt.

After quickly checking on Reilly, John made his way through the house and finally spotted the little actress sitting out on the deck. A cup of coffee sat untouched on the table beside of her and sitting in the lounge chair, she had her knees drawn up to her chin. Yes, he decided, last night had been a mistake.

"Good morning," John announced his presence as he slid open the door and stepped outside, "Someone is up early." He could see the color immediately rise in Roma’s cheeks and he knew this was all going to be terribly awkward. He longed to lean down and greet her with a good morning kiss, but he knew it wasn’t appropriate.

"Mornin’," Roma replied, though she felt unable to so much as glance his way.

The silence felt deafening as he took a seat next to her and gazed out at the rising sun, "It looks like it is going to be another nice-."

"John," Roma blurted out, her voice tinged with near panic, "Last night….I’m sorry….I never should have….I didn’t mean to….Oh my god…." She helplessly buried her face in her hands as a tiny sob escaped her.

John stood and moved to straddle the chair she was sitting on so that he could face her. He knew he had to find a way to make this right or at least better, "No. Sweetie, it was my fault. I knew you were hurting and I should have stopped things from going too far." Reaching out, he gently forced her hands from her face, though she still couldn’t bear to look at him.

Roma struggled to stop crying, but she was so unbearably confused now. Last night, in many ways had been wonderful. John had been a caring and considerate lover who had taken her to heights she had never known before. But she wasn’t in love with him and that meant she had used him. She had used her best friend.

"What you….what you told me last night," She whispered tearfully, "About never wanting to be with someone more than….more than me? Is that….? Did you mean….?"

John knew he was holding his breath and he exhaled slowly, knowing he was at the point of no return. His hands were still holding hers and he rubbed his thumbs against her small fingers tenderly, "Yes, Roma. I meant it. I love you. I think….I think I’ve loved you forever." His heart ached as another sob escaped her, "And I know you don’t feel the same way, and baby, that’s okay. I don’t want you to worry about me."

For the first time that morning, her liquid brown eyes met his. They were filled with great pain and unimaginable sadness, and she was struggling to be able to speak, "Johnny…please…I can’t lose you. Please. You’re my dearest friend and I need you so much. I love you, I do, just not like that. Last night was my fault and John, had I known how you felt, I never would have…." She shook her head helplessly, "Just please, don’t leave me."

Her words touched his heart so deeply that it nearly failed to beat as he drew her quickly to him and held her against his chest, "Never, sweetheart," He whispered, kissing the top of her head and he could feel some of the tension instantly leave her body, "I am here for you always, Roma. I promise you that."

"Thank you….thank you…." She uttered, "I wish I felt the same way, John, but…."

"Shh," He comforted her softly, "I know and I understand. You’ve been through too much, angel, and I wish I had never said it as you didn’t need to hear it," He hesitated briefly before continuing, "I just hope that you don’t completely regret last night."

"No," Roma whispered, her head still resting against his chest, "It was nice….I had forgotten what it was supposed to be like," She raised her teary eyes up to meet with his, "John…I think that had I met you before David that things would have turned out very differently. I wish that was the way things had happened."

John had to fight to gain control of his emotions as she returned her head to his chest, "But if that had happened then you wouldn’t have Reilly."

"You’re right... I can’t imagine my life without her..."

"She’s a present, Roma. A blessing. And no one will take her away from you, I won’t let them," he spoke, tenderly stroking her auburn hair, "I just hope that, when all of this is over, that you can look at me and see something more than a friend... I hope that you remember last night not only as the night we got ‘caught up in the moment’, but as a precious memory..."

She pulled away again and looked deep inside his emerald green eyes, still feeling extremely guilty for breaking his heart like that, "John, I..."

But he pressed a finger against her lips to silence her, "And be sure that nothing is gonna change what I feel for you... This love I have inside my heart will always be here, angel, just waiting for a word from you... a sign... anything you have to offer..." he concluded, brushing a gentle kiss on her forehead, leaving her lost for words and wondering how there could be such a loving and devoted soul on Earth.

*

Reilly woke up a few hours later and the actor felt like leaving mother and daughter playing together for a while and kept the distance, busying himself with house stuff, such as preparing lunch. The last thing he wanted was to make the woman he loved so dearly feel uncomfortable next to him and he knew that, right at that moment, she needed space.

The two were sitting in the living room carpeted floor with some of the baby’s toys spread around when he announced he was going out to buy something for dinner and wouldn’t take long. But right at that very moment, the look John saw in Roma’s eyes was one of fear and he nearly regretted the idea. "Where are you going?" she asked, nearly pleading him to stay there; with the irrational feeling that, because of what was happening between them, he would go away from her and never return.

"Not far from here, sweetie... I just need some things for dinner... I’ll be right back..." he spoke, somewhat unsure of what to do.

"Can you bring ice cweam, uncle Johnny?" Reilly stood up and ran up to him, grabbing his hand to make him look at her.

"Of course I’ll bring ice cream for you, my little princess!" the blond actor replied, kissing her tiny head and managing a smile. "Erm... is there anything you want too, Roma?"

Feeling her heart trying to follow the normal rhythm, the Irish actress sighed deeply, "No... no, thank you, John."

"I’ll be right back," he said, and dared to place his hand on her shoulder, rubbing it softly before he left the living room; leaving a very confused young woman behind. She didn’t know why she had reacted the way she did; she had no idea where that sudden sensation of panic had come from. All she felt was like grabbing him by the T-shirt and making him stay by her side.

If they had been caught up in the moment the night before and acted totally by impulse instead of by love, where was that sudden feeling of panic coming from?

*

John came back less than an hour later, bringing Reilly’s ice cream and the other things he needed to cook. Roma was still playing with her little daughter when he entered the living room.

"You bring my ice cweam, uncle Johnny?"

"Yes, sweetie, I did! But you’ll have it only after lunch, ok? Meanwhile, you can have this..." he took a tiny little angel bear from inside the bag and gave it to her, "For you..."

"Yey!" she spoke, taking the small toy in her tiny hands. Then, watching as Roma managed a shy smile, the blond actor gathered more courage and offered her a small bunch of delicate tiny flowers. "I got something for you too, you know, so that you don’t get jealous!"

A little taken aback by that surprise, the Irish actress took the delicate flowers in her hands and looked at him without knowing what to say. "Thanks, John..."

*

The rest of the day went by reasonably well, even if not many words were spoken between the two adults, Roma felt safe and at ease with John next to her. Yet, an unexplainable sensation of panic was still there, hidden in her heart and causing her to feel like holding her daughter and the blond actor tightly and never letting them go again.

Some time after dinner, the Irish actress took Reilly to the balcony and remained there for a long time, rocking her on her lap and telling her a few fairy tales. It had been a beautiful day and now a gentle night breeze was blowing against their faces as the baby heard her mother’s soothing voice and was nearly drifting off to sleep.

"Sounds like someone is already saying goodnight..." John spoke, in a low voice, cautiously approaching them. She turned her head to look at him and gave a short smile, "Yes... She had quite a busy day..." her eyes softened as she watched him tenderly caressing the girl’s curly hair; the love and care he obviously felt for her little daughter was evident in his eyes: he treated Reilly like a loving father.

However, her face turned into a serious one on the following minute. "But I’m worried, you know... This is not our house and we can’t stay here forever..."

"I’m sure Della wants you to stay here as long as you want to."

"I know but I can’t do that to Reilly, John. She has a little life, she misses her toys, her bedroom, her daily routine... She misses Julie a lot and her little friends... I can’t do this to her..."

"Roma, you have to do what’s best for her, and right now the best is to stay away from that house; from her father."

She knew his words made perfect sense, "You’re right..." tears quickly formed in the corner of her eyes and John secretly cursed David every time he saw how much that man had hurt the love of his life.

"But when the time comes, you won’t be alone, sweetie. Remember I’ll always be here and I’ll be by your side when you face that man again. I made a promise to you and I’ll fulfil it wholeheartedly..." he dared to caress her face and his touch was so gentle, so tender that she unconsciously leaned on his palm, treasuring the comfort that only that man could give her.

"Thank you..."

"I’ll tell you what: let me put our little one in bed and... and if it’s alright with you, I can make you some company..."

But now John noticed the hesitation in her eyes: the last time they stood alone together, they ended up in her bed and she surely wasn’t willing to make the same "mistake" again. "I’m sorry, Johnny, but I was going to bed too, I feel a bit tired..."

Even if he tried to hide it, it was possible to notice some disappointment in his green eyes as he heard that. "It’s... it’s alright, Roma, I... I understand..."

She was going to say something else but at that very moment they heard the doorbell ring. "Who can that be at this time? Do you think it’s Della?"

"I’m not sure, she didn’t call..."

"John, please, take Reilly to her bedroom for me? I’ll see who it is."

"Ok..." he gladly accepted the baby girl and carried her in his arms up to her bedroom, while Roma walked up to the door and unlocked it.

But it was not Della. Much on the contrary: it was her worst nightmare there, in person, right before her eyes.

"David..." she uttered, feeling a chill running down her spine and trembling from head to toe.

"So these paparazzi aren’t completely useless! Here you are, sweetie! After days looking for you, I finally found you!"

"What... what do you want?" the actress managed to say, and he could see how terrified she was.

"What do you mean? I want you back in my car and in our house right now, baby! That’s what I’m here for!"

"I’m not going with you, David... not anymore..."

The man gave a step ahead and forced the door open, "What are you saying, woman? You’re not gonna make a fool of me! We are married, you’re my wife and you’re coming back with me right now!"

"She’s not going anywhere, David!" they both turned around and saw John climbing down the stairs and rushing towards them. The expression on the actor’s face was one of anger. "As well as she won’t be your wife for so long... In fact, she’s not yours anymore!"

The hate inside John’s heart stopped him from minding his words – he was soon standing between the woman he loved and the man who had made her suffer, and fighting against his will to punch David’s face as many times as possible and he knew it still wouldn’t be enough.

"Oh, I see you’re quite fast to put another man in your bed, right, Roma? And you didn’t have to look far, the newspapers were right again: how long have you been keeping this dirty little secret of yours, huh? How long have you been cheating on me like a tramp?"

John didn’t waste another second and grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and shook him hard, "You wash your mouth when you talk about her! If there’s something dirty here, it’s you, David!"

"Wow, sweetie, the guy must be in love!" he replied, ironically.

Desperate, Roma grabbed John’s arm in an attempt to pull the two man apart, "John, please..."

"Don’t worry, Roma... I’m not gonna get my dirty!" he said, finally letting them man go.

"So... I assume you’re not coming with me, right?" David’s eyes were shining with anger.

Watching as Roma was trembling badly and the panic and anguish in her brown eyes, John placed his hand over her shoulder, reminding her that he was there for her no matter what.

Gathering all her courage, the little actress finally spoke the words that had been in her heart for a long time, "No... I won’t, David... It’s over..."

"Alright... since you found some stupid guy to sleep with, suit yourself, honey..." he gave a few steps towards her, "... but be sure it’ll cost you a lot!"

"I’m not afraid of your threats, David...." Roma felt John squeezing her shoulder as if trying to pass his strength to her and she couldn’t believe it that she was finally facing her husband.

"Oh no? I want to see if you sound as bold when I go to court and take what is most precious to you away. Your daughter."

Those words had the exact effect he expected: Roma’s heart was immediately filled with panic and she felt a lump forming in her throat. "You can’t do that..." was all she could whisper.

"Oh, yes, I can, baby; you left our home, you cheated on me with this guy and no judge will ever allow that a small child to stay with a woman like you!"

"No!!!" she screamed and cried at the same time and were it not by John’s supportive hands placed on her shoulders, the actress would have stumbled to the ground.

"He’s not gonna get Reilly, Roma! She’s yours, nobody’s gonna give her custody to a bastard like him!" the blond actor spoke, afraid of what that cruel and mean threat could cause.

"Yes, you’ll lose her, sweetie! And when I get her, I’ll make sure she goes to a boarding school outside the country and you won’t lay your eyes on her again!"

John gave a step forward and pushed him away, "Go away, David, you’re not gonna scare her with your threats!"

The man ignored John and kept on looking at her, aware of the effect of his words, "But if you come back to me, I’ll forget it, baby, and I’ll forgive you... I’m giving you a chance to get back to our house with your daughter and stay close to her..."

John knew exactly what that kind of persuasion could cause to a broken heart like hers but he had promised himself to be by her side and keep her safe from harm, safe from that man.

"You want her to come back home so that you can keep on your abuse, right, you bastard? Well, I got news from you, David: she won’t come back and she’ll keep Reilly with her, no judge will give a little girl to a man like you!"

"Can’t you speak for yourself, baby? You know that your boyfriend is not really interested in your daughter, right? You know he’s afraid of losing his little hobby! And, when he gets tired, he’ll ditch you away and will look for a younger woman, with no damn kids to fed him up!"

At that moment, the Irish actress’ eyes grew wide and she nearly stopped breathing and John feared what she would do next, he knew how fragile she was and how David was taking advantage of that fact. For an instant, the blond actor thought it was all over. "Roma, don’t believe in a word that he says, you know they’re not true..." he pleaded.

Those hateful words, however, had an opposite impact on her: the things David were saying about the one who had been more than a friend to her sounded so absurd that, despite the tense situation, a slight, yet bittersweet smile appeared in the corner of her lips. "That’s not true... John loves Reilly much more than you ever did..." she said, leaving both the man and John surprised, "... he loves me more than you ever did..."

"Oh really?" he replied, visibly angry to hear that, "So you can tell that to the judge when he calls you!"

Saying no more, David turned around and went away from them, crossing the garden and the gates of the house, which had been incautiously left open by Roma in that same afternoon, after she had taken Reilly to a walk at the surroundings.

Only then, the Irish actress fell on her knees and wrapped her arms around herself, and cried miserably. With his own eyes filled with sadness, anger and love, John knelt beside her and pulled Roma to himself, holding her tightly for dear life and gently running his fingers through her auburn hair.

The couple remained like this for long, painful minutes, until the blond actor broke the silence, "...he won’t take Reilly from you; I won’t let him. We’re all fighting together for her; Della, Martha, Frank, Julie and me... we won’t leave you alone, angel. And I’m sure that God won’t leave you and your little princess apart..."

"... you told me today in the morning that Reilly is a blessing..." she whispered, staring at an invisible point, without blinking, without moving.

"She is! A blessing, a present from God and nobody will ever change that!"

"... you are a blessing too..." Roma added, still not moving, but causing him to kiss the top of her head with a slight smile on his face.

***

Roma never knew when her eyes finally closed that night. She had laid very still on Reilly’s bed for hours, not wanting to move so she wouldn’t wake up her daughter. The little girl was sleeping peacefully, unaware of what had happened by the door frame in the night.

Then she was standing by the balcony, the sun setting down far at the end of the ocean, when a pair of strong yet tender hands touched her shoulders and ran down her arms to circle her waist over her stomach. Her heart sped up in the most pleasant way and she leaned against the warm body that was behind her. John then reached to kiss her cheek long and lovingly. "I love you," he murmured and she turned to face him, but when she opened her eyes, she saw David behind John. He had Reilly in his arms and was smiling. "You lost your daughter, Roma!" he exclaimed and turned away.

"No, David!" she shouted and felt how her heart seemed to stop beating. When she could breath again, she realized she was still lying on Reilly’s bed, her small body snuggled close to hers. The Irish actress leaned to kiss her baby’s head. "I love you, sweetie, and I’m not losing you. You’re my everything, my entire life…" she murmured before tears started to run across her cheeks. It was early in the morning as the windows behind the curtains were slightly bright now, and she remained there, crying in silence.

**

"Blueberry pancakes!" Reilly exclaimed when she and her mother got in the kitchen in the morning to find John already making breakfast. She ran to the table, eyes bright with joy when the blond actor set 2 small pancakes on her plate.

"There you go, princess! I hope you like them!" he said and then turned to see Roma. It was obvious she hadn’t slept and looked so helpless and fragile that his arms ached to hold her close. "Good morning, baby," was all he thought to say.

"Johnnie…" she whispered not daring to talk more or she’d start to cry.

"Coffee is ready and so is breakfast," he offered reaching for her small hand and squeezing it lightly. "It is said that everything seems better when you are not hungry…" He gently guided her to the table, set a plate with pancakes and poured her a mug of coffee.

They ate in silence, only sharing some words about how good the pancakes were. Reilly finished first and climbed down the chair to play on the floor with the angel bear he had given her the previous night. When Roma finally ate her last bite, she broke the silence. "Johnnie… I think we have to go back…"

"It’s not necessary, Roma! If you feel comfortable here…" he tried to argue.

"He found me, John. He found US. Do you know how it will be like if we wait ‘till August to come back? We won’t be able to even go back filming…"

John saw she was shaking slightly and reached to cover her small fist. "Do you think he…"

"… he will talk to the tabloids?" she completed and met his gaze. "Yes, he will." When he sighed in defeat, she lowered her head and tried to free her hand. "I’m sorry I put you in such a problem, John. I had no right…"

"No, Roma!"

"You don’t deserve this, yet alone to get involved in a scandal because of me. I’m sorry. I don’t know what caught me the other night. I never thought this could happen… I… It’s… It’s just that… I so needed to feel loved… I didn’t think…" She had started to cry and his heart broke in a thousand pieces.

He pulled her head to his chest so she could cry freely. "Please, Roma, don’t say you are sorry for me," he asked with evident pain in his voice. "You said you didn’t regret the night completely and I want to know you don’t because, baby, no matter what comes next, it will always be the most wonderful night I have ever had." She sobbed again and it hurt him deeply, yet he was determined to not let her forget he really treasured every moment with her.

*

"Yes, Della, we’re going back… If we leave by 12 I guess we’ll be arriving by 11… And hopefully then we won’t find any paparazzi around Roma’s house… Sure, we’ll call you… Bye…" Roma heard John talking to Della by phone and she knew her days of peace were over. She hadn’t had the courage to be the one calling the older actress who was a real mother for her as she felt her voice would betray her.

When she looked up to face John, he felt his heart beating faster at how mortified the little woman looked. "David hasn’t called her, nor Martha…" he informed her. "If we go back now, we will have time to plan what to do and say next…"

"I hate to have put you all in this situation…"

"Hey, we’ve discussed this!" he knelt by her side and took her hand. "We are your family, Roma, we are here for you two, no matter what…"

"I am not losing Reilly, John, am I?" she asked with the most trembling voice.

"No, you are not!" John exclaimed and cupped her face to make her look at him. "Baby, what judge could ever grant the custody of a child to a man like David, huh? No one!"

His hands on her cheeks felt so warm and secure that she couldn’t help but lean on his touch and close her eyes. "Don’t leave me alone, Johnnie, please.." she asked and his heart hurt once more.

The blond actor tenderly brushed her skin with his thumb; he just needed so badly to feel her sift skin as he had done two nights before. He only could start guessing how tragic the consequences of that night would be in the future, yet his feelings for her were now stronger than ever. It was too much to have her so close and not to be able to show her how much he loved her. "I would never leave you, Roma…" he said in a low, serious voice, "not in a million years".

They remained there for a good while, lost in the presence of each other until the phone rang again. John sighed and picked it up. It was Franklin who had thought of a plan to fool the paparazzi. He and Della would fly to California in the night so they would pretend Roma had been with them the whole time, as for John, he would drive to San Francisco, where he used to spend his vacation anyway. "But… will you go back to Salt Lake, Johnnie?" Roma asked when he finished to explain the plan.

"In no more than two weeks, sweetheart," he promised. "I told you I’ll be with you and I will be!"

She thought about it for a minute and then threw her arms around his neck to hold him close. "Thank you…" she murmured.

He fought back the sigh of contentment for having her in his arms, calming his aching need and just rubbed her back lovingly. "You are more than welcome, baby…"

***

It saddened Roma to see John packing to leave the house. Although he was busy with his task as he would be leaving at night to arrive to San Francisco in the dark, he took the time to rock Reilly to nap in the afternoon. Knowing the deep love they shared, the little actress left them alone, David’s hateful words about John and Reilly still fresh in her mind.

"She’s sleeping like a little angel," the actor announced when he met her by the dock some time later. He carefully placed the baby monitor nearby so they could hear it.

"She’ll miss you a lot these days…" Roma said. "She loves you a lot…"

"You were right when you told David I love her, Roma," he told her as if reading her mind, "and I would never stop loving her."

"I know…" she murmured, her eyes fixed on the sun that had almost disappeared in the horizon. "What time are you leaving?"

"By 9 pm… Given the chances, I’d be arriving by 3 am…"

"It’s dangerous…"

"Nah… I’ve done the same more than once…" he assured her. "I just regret we only have a couple of hours now…" He took her hand and tenderly kissed it for a long second.

"If you could stay…" she whispered and when John looked up, their faces were barely two inches away, their lips inviting each other to cross the small distance and enjoy the delicate caress they now knew so well.

"Well, well, well… I was wondering where the two of you could be!" Della’s voice interrupted them and broke the moment.

"Hey, Della!" John stood up and hug the dark skinned actress.

"Hello, Love Juice! And how’s my baby girl?" But Della didn’t need an answer: Roma’s image spoke by itself. "Not far from what I had imagined…" she murmured before she pulled the little actress into a tight hug. "We’ll have to work on you, baby…"

"Hey there, you two!" Franklin met them too. "John, can I talk to you? Everything’s ready now…"

Roma saw the two men leaving not before the blond actor shot her a quick loving gaze. Della noticed this, yet she didn’t pay much attention to it. "How are you doing, Roma? The truth…"

"Honestly? Not so good, Della…" the Irish actress confessed. "I’m so scared…"

"No, baby!" she said. "David is not touching you anymore!"

"He promised to take Reilly away…" she murmured. "I wouldn’t bare…"

"We won’t allow him that! You have talked to your lawyer and so did Franklin! He will regret what he did to you…" the older actress now understood John’s anger when she had talked to him the previous days. She hadn’t imagined all this had so affected the normally chatty and joyful Roma. She just wanted to take the one that was like her own daughter in her arms and rock her like a little girl, so she wrapped her arm around her shoulders and guided her inside the house.

*

With John leaving soon, they couldn’t share but a quick, not fancy dinner. Gathered around the table, Della said a special prayer for everything would turn out good at the end, and Roma felt how her blond co-star squeezed her hand tenderly as if to remind her he believed it too. The little actress felt relieved for having Della and Franklin with her, yet knowing John would be far away was leaving her with a big feeling of emptiness. That was why she couldn’t help but shoot quick glances to John now and then, that he would quickly return with a smile or a short squeeze to her hand. Although they had always shared those casual contacts or glances, Della felt there was something more going on, something she just couldn’t put her finger on.

The moment Roma so feared finally arrived and John gathered his things to put them in the car. As with the hurry of taking Roma out of her house as soon as possible he hadn’t really packed, his only luggage were a big backpack and his jacket that he wasn’t wearing in the hot summer night. "Well, I gotta go," he announced meeting Roma, Della and Franklin in the leaving room.

"Be careful, Love Juice," Della asked him. "Don’t drive too fast."

"Take the inner streets and then the coast road as I told you," Franklin recommended. "You can then take the highway in hopefully out of any paparazzi sight."

"Ok, I will," he said shaking hands with the producer. "I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll start doing my ‘strategic’ appearances in San Francisco."

"Ok…"

He then turned to face Roma and the helpless expression in her face just broke his heart and made him want to stay with her no matter what. "I’ll see you in two weeks, sweetie…" he said and doubted a moment before he pulled her into a tight hug. It surprised him how tight her grip on his shirt was and he was sure Della noticed it too.

"Please, Johnnie, do go back…" she murmured in a voice he only could hear.

"I promise I will, baby…" He released his hold on her slowly and then took his pack.

"I’ll go with you…" Roma offered and took his jacket. John nodded and they left.

Once they were by the car he opened the car trunk to place his luggage in there before he turned to see her again. "Don’t be afraid, Roma," he said softly, "I’ll go back as soon as possible. I told you I’ll be by your side…"

"I have no right to ask you this. I know what you feel and I can’t tell you I feel the same way, but I do need you with me, John, because otherwise…" His finger on her lips stopped her nervous speech and forced her to look at him.

"Don’t worry about me, ok? I’m more than happy to help you, you know that. I’m happy you do know that I love you and I will wait for you till you can love me too, and if you never can, that’s ok, because I will know I showed you how deep my love for you is…" He had cupped her face and at the end he leaned to kiss her forehead long and lovingly. "I must go…"

"Ok… Oh, your jacket!" she said remembering she still had the piece of garment in her hands. She leaned to put it into the trunk and so did him, and all of a sudden she found his face an inch away of hers.

John’s breath caught in his throat and for a moment he just thought of moving away quickly, but as she didn’t retreat, he didn’t do it either. Gathering courage and love and the yearning of not seeing her for two weeks, he crossed the small distance to brush a very short, gentle kiss on her lips, a feather like caress she didn’t reject nor have time to respond to. "I love you," he murmured when they parted and she reopened her eyes. "Never forget that." He then just closed the trunk and climbed up in the car.

She stood, frozen in time as she watched him drive away, her vision blurred with tears. As his car vanished from her sight, she immediately shivered, no longer feeling nearly as safe and cared for as she had only seconds ago. The other thing that disappeared along with John’s presence was any tiny bit of certainty she had felt about what had transpired between them a few nights ago. Without his reassurance, the confusion in her mind and heart was nearly overwhelming as she again considered exactly what she had done with her best friend. Roma also knew that despite his façade, he had to be hurt by her inability to return his affections. That thought alone pained her so greatly that the tears fell from her eyes as they remained fixed on the last corner he had turned to take him away from her.

Roma had no idea how long she stood outside before the realization hit her that she suddenly felt very exposed. David knew where she was and John was now gone and though Della was a force to be reckoned with, there was no denying that she and Franklin were still elderly and Roma was suddenly afraid of putting them as well as Reilly in harm’s way.

"Baby?" Della looked up worriedly, when her young friend walked back inside the house. One look told her just how traumatic John’s departure had been for her, but the older actress summed it up as John having been the one to take Roma away from her suffering. So of course, she felt safer with him around, "Come here, Roma. Are you all right?" She frowned at the way the young woman was wringing her hands without realizing it, a sure indication of the great anxiety Roma was feeling inside.

Roma bit her lip, seeing the kindness in her mentor’s eyes caused tears to well up in hers once more as she gave a helpless shake of her head.

"Oh baby," Della whispered as she rose to her feet to meet the little actress halfway across the floor, her heart aching when Roma dissolved into sobs the moment she was enveloped in her arms.

"Della….why is this happening to me?" Roma managed to choke out as she buried her face against her friend’s shoulder, "Everything has just gone so wrong….and it just keeps getting worse!"

The older actress frowned at those words, wondering if anything more had happened here other than David finding them, "I wish I knew, honey," Della soothed, running a gentle hand over Roma’s hair, "But God is with you, baby and so are your friends. We’re right here, Roma and we are going to keep you safe."

More than anything, Roma wanted to confess everything that happened between she and John to her older and more experienced friend, but the words simply failed her. How could she tell anyone how badly she had hurt the one who was trying so hard to keep her safe? No, some things were best left in the past. Though it took great effort, she managed to control her tears as she pulled back from her friend. Roma knew she was going to have to get a grip on herself and find some strength from within or she was never going to survive this situation, yet alone the next two weeks.

"Della, I know you and Franklin just got here, but I think I need to pack," She stated quietly, "David now knows I’m here and I just don’t feel safe any longer. I also don’t want to risk him hurting either of you. Though I don’t know that he would, it’s a risk I just can’t take."

"Now wait one second, Roma. This part of the plan was not discussed while Johnny was here," Della was hesitant to do anything without John’s knowledge. Though he had no real hold on the little actress, he had made it clear to Della that Roma’s safety was his more important job at the moment.

"That’s because I didn’t decide on it until just a few minutes ago," She insisted, wiping at her eyes and trying to give herself strength, "Filming is going to start in a month and Reilly and I are going to need a place to live. We need time to find a place."

"Roma," Franklin interrupted gently, "You and Reilly are more than welcome to stay with us. You know that."

"Thank you, Franklin, but I can’t impose like that, though I may take you up on some babysitting once I find a place so I can get settled." She was already making mental checklists for extra deadbolts and a security system. If David found her again, it would not be without warning.

"Baby, are you sure about this?" Della was in no hurry to see Roma going back to her husband’s neck of the woods.

"I’m sure, Della," Roma lied. Of course she wasn’t sure. She only knew she had to do something on her own. Her days of hiding had been over when David had knocked on the door a few nights ago, "I’m going to book a flight for myself and Reilly for tomorrow. David has a retraining order against him, so hopefully he won’t be violating it again." She could tell by the expressions on the elderly couple’s faces that they were not entirely happy with her decision, but it couldn’t be helped. Roma wouldn’t allow either of them to be placed in danger.

*****

"Della?" John’s voice on the other end of Franklin’s cell phone sounded weary.

"Love juice!" She was unable to keep the relief out of her voice to finally here from him and to know he was safe, "You got there?"

"Yes. Very early this morning and I was even able to catch a few hours sleep. I wanted to call to check on Roma. How is she?"

The older actress sighed as she glanced in the direction of Roma’s room where the finishing touches were being placed on her packing, "Well, baby, I’m not sure that any of us really know the answer to that, including Roma. She’s packing to head back to Salt Lake today."

"What?" John’s shock was evident in his tone and sudden change of volume, "Alone? She and Reilly are going alone? Why? What happened?"

Della waited patiently for his questions to subside before she attempted to answer, "I think what happened, baby, is that you left. She doesn’t feel safe here anymore, John and she says she wants to find a place to live. Her flight is in two hours so we’ll be taking her to the airport shortly. We tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted." His silence on the other end of the phone spoke volumes, "I take it you want to talk to her?"

"Please."

Della carried the phone back the hallway to the actresses’ bedroom and gave a little knock on the partially opened door, "Roma? John got in safely. He wants to speak to you."

Roma could instantly tell by the look on Della’s face that John already knew of her decisions and that she was going to have an argument on her hands, but she nodded her head and accepted the phone, grateful when Della left her alone.

"Hello, John."

"Roma, why are you leaving California, baby? I assumed you would wait until the end of the two weeks when I would be there."

Tears burned in her eyes at the concern that was so evident in his voice, "John, I need to do this. Hiding didn’t work, so it’s time I tried to create a new life for Reilly and me. The restraining order is in place-."

"To hell with the restraining order, Roma," He interrupted, trying to keep his voice calm as he really had no idea of her state of mind without being able to look into her eyes, "It didn’t stop him the last time."

"John, he knows where I am."

"Yes, but at least you are not alone! Della and Frank are both there with you!" He was tired and this was not news he had been expecting. Though he was trying not to get upset, he was afraid he was failing and the last thing he wanted was to upset Roma anymore than she already was.

"John, listen to me! David, he’s dangerous! Yes, maybe just to me, but I don’t want to risk that with Della and Franklin! If he hurt them, I would never forgive myself!"

"Then I’ll meet you in Salt Lake-."

"No! You can’t! David has enough fuel for his fire in just catching us together. He needs to know we are apart. He can’t get custody of Reilly!" Her voice was pleading and edged with exhaustion.

"Fuel? Roma, do you hear yourself? The man beat and raped you again and again! No one is going to give him custody!" John regretted the words the moment he said them and her sharp intake of air at the other end of the phone only drove his mistake home further. Yes, David had done those things to her, but they were things she didn’t want him dwelling on because it would make her feel judged.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment and when she finally spoke, her voice was trembling, "Yes, he did those things…but most of it can’t be proven as I never reported it. I didn’t want anyone to know." Her last few words were deliberate and pointed, "It hurts enough that he did those things, but it hurts more that you are thinking about them….that you are thinking of me that way."

John felt like the biggest jerk on the planet. He could have made his point in a much gentler and less callus way, but it was too late to take it back now, "Roma, Angel….I’m sorry. I didn’t’ mean for it to come across that way," He could just make out her stifled sob on the other end of the phone, "And I don’t think of you as someone who had those things done to her. It certainly isn’t the first thing I think about…you know that. But when I do think about those things happening to you, baby, I just wish I could have kept you safe. No one deserves to be used like that, sweetheart, especially not you. Your worth is so much greater than how that bastard has made you feel."

"When you say it, I almost believe it, John," She whispered, unable to help but to forgive him. She knew he hadn’t meant to say it and he had done so much for her. How could she ever stay angry with him?

"You’ll believe it too one day, angel. You will," Hearing a tiny sob, his voice held an edge of desperation, "Please don’t cry, baby. It’s so hard to hear it and not be there to hold you," He waited a moment for her to calm before he spoke once more, "Roma, are you sure about all this? About going back to Utah?"

"Yes. Stay where you are, John, as we planned. It’s for the best right now, at least for these two weeks. I’ll be careful. I promise."

He let out a defeated sigh, "I don’t like it, Roma, but okay. Any sign of him and I want you to call the police. Do you understand me?"

"I will," She hesitated, unsure whether or not to voice what she was thinking. She didn’t want to lead him on, but what she was feeling was so true regardless, "I miss you."

Her words were so soft and sad that his heart nearly stopped beating, "I miss you too, baby. I’ll be there soon."

***

Two weeks later...

Roma was finishing to arrange the new decoration in Reilly’s bedroom in the new apartment they were now renting. The perfect order of the new objects and furniture and the smell of ink that still lingered in the air were evidences that they were to start a new life, away from the actress’ abusive husband and the little girl’s absent and totally indifferent father. But the perfection with which the new house had been arranged was also a way to compensate the total disorder that was now inside Roma’s heart and mind: along with the tension and constant threat to have her baby girl taken away from her by a man whose only objective was to hurt and humiliate her, was also the guilty for rejecting the immense love and protection that her beloved John was longing to offer her. The night that they had spent together came to her mind first as a sweet and precious memory, and at a second moment, as a reason for remorse and shame for using her dearest friend the way she did. She would never forgive herself for that.

And on top of that, there was the news on the tabloid on that Friday morning. The first picture showed Roma and John together on the beach, walking side by side and talking. On another picture, the blond actor had his arm wrapped around her small shoulders and both had a tiny smile on their faces. Roma remembered that day – it was the first time she had left the house and they took Reilly with them for a walk on the shore. The little girl was scared with a crab and, as she heard her cries, Roma thought that David had found them. John held her tightly, once again assuring her that they were safe. If only he knew that a paparazzi was there to record that exact moment – the third picture on the tabloid showed him holding her tightly and stroking her hair, while whispering reassuring words in her ear.

Bellow, the big, red heading: "The angelic couple: John Dye and Roma Downey’s secret romance is finally revealed!" The actress feared the implications of that piece of news. Saying that she was keeping an affair with her friend and co-worker meant that she was an adulterous wife and that could also mean losing Reilly’s custody to David. Nothing could be more devastating.

She was trying to busy herself with housework, as so far, nobody had called her to know about it – her friends didn’t know about it yet. After hanging a portrait of Bella and the Beast dancing, the Irish actress let out an exhausted sigh and turned to her daughter, who was sitting on the bed watching her mother finish the decoration work. "So, do you like your room, sweetie?" she smiled, trying to send a little bit of her permanent sadness away.

"It’s so pretty, mommy." the slight smile on her meek face brought some comfort to Roma’s soul. She climbed off the chair and sat right beside Reilly, holding her tight and kissing the top of her head, "I’m glad you like it, poppet. This will be our house for a while."

"Are we ever going back to our old house?"

"Someday, angel... I do hope someday..." she replied, wondering when that nightmare would finish. Reilly’s voice brought her back to reality.

"And where is uncle Johnny’s room?"

"Oh, angel, uncle Johnny is not going to stay with us this time..."

The girl frowned, "Why not?"

"Because he has his own house... his own life to take care of..."

"I miss him..." Roma’s heart ached to see the sadness written all over her daughter’s face, as she knew how special the relationship between Reilly and John was; the love he had for that little girl was a father’s love and Reilly saw him as the father she had never had by her side.

Squeezing her daughter tightly against her, she nodded, "I know... I miss him too..."

"You love him, mommy?"

A silent, unnoticed tear formed in the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek a second later with that question, "I... Yes, I love him too, baby..."

"Then why can’t you two stay together and he would come and live with us, then he would take care of you and me? I wish he was my daddy..."

That innocent question caused Roma to shed more tears and, sobbing slightly, she kissed the top of Reilly’s head. No words could express what she was feeling inside.

Not understanding the reason for Roma’s tears, the girl held her tightly and mother and daughter remained like that for long minutes, until the moment when the phone rang. "I’ll get it, honey. You stay here playing with your toys." She said, wiping her tears away.

"Okay, mommy."

The actress left the bedroom and headed to the living room, wondering who it could be. "Hullo?"

On the other side of the line, though, she heard a very dear and familiar voice, "Roma? Angel?"

"John..." she felt her heart racing: by that time he had already read the news on the tabloid.

"Roma, how are you and Reilly?"

"We’re fine, John; I’ve just finished to arrange the apartment."

The actress could notice a slight smile forming on his lips as he spoke again, "Hey, that’s great news, baby; I bought something for Reilly and I’ll take the chance to see your decorator’s talents then!"

"No, John, really, I guess it’s not a good moment..."

By the tone of her voice the blond actor could sense that she knew about the tabloid, "Roma, if... if you’re worried about that news on that newspaper, if you’re..."

"I’m more than worried, John, I’m terrified! If there was a chance for me to keep Reilly this chance is gone with those pictures!"

"That is a gossip column in a sensationalist tabloid! No judge is gonna give it any credit and..."

"But the pictures are real..." she interrupted him again, nearly crying, "... there was a photographer on the beach that day and we didn’t notice it!"

"And those pictures show nothing but two friends talking!"

"That’s not what it looks like..."

"That’s what I’ll tell anyone who asks me about them; that’s the truth!"

Fighting back the tears that insisted on falling from her eyes, she took a deep breath, gathering all the courage to, once again, break the heart of the very one who didn’t deserve it. "John, I don’t want you to come to see Reilly and me..."

"Roma, please, I ...."

"No, I can’t involve you in this more than I already did; besides... your presence here could make things more difficult to me..."

His heart ached with those words. The woman that he loved was asking him to stay away from her, the woman he devoted his life to was refusing not only his love but also his company. That sounded like a terrible nightmare. "Roma, you’re scared and I understand it, but..."

"Stay away, John. Stay away from Reilly and me..." tears pricked her eyes as those hard words were spoken, and at the moment she heard his voice again, Roma could feel the damage they had caused. "How can you ask me this, Roma? How can you tell me to stay away from you and from Reilly knowing how much I love you both?"

"John..."

"Haven’t I made that clear yet? Haven’t I showed you both enough love and affection? Haven’t I showed you how much I care for you?"

"If... If you do love us... please, do what I’m asking you..."

A defeated sigh was heard on the other side of the line, "It’s okay, Roma. You don’t have to say it again." The bitter tone in his voice caused her heart to ache with pain. John was hurt and mad at her, and that was something she had never experienced before. "If that’s what you want, I won’t stay in your way anymore. The last thing I want is to be a bother in your life. I’ll... leave Reilly’s present at Della’s house. Please, tell her that I miss her. Take care you both."

He hung up the phone a second later and the silence of the line was broken by Roma’s sobs. She had lost John. She had lost the one who gave her strength, reassurance and protection. The one who was ready to fight for her, to stay by her side and hold her hand, permanently whispering encouraging words in her ear. She had lost the one who showed her how she deserved to be loved.

*

Roma could not believe the nightmare her life had become when she opened the newspaper, some days later, and read another article. But this time, it wasn’t only some gossip in a sensationalist tabloid – in an interview, David was saying that those pictures of she and John spoke for themselves and that he couldn’t wait to take his little daughter away from her adulterous mother. The actress’ heart was racing and she felt she needed to do something urgently. After phoning Della and asking her to stay with Reilly, she phoned her lawyer and arranged to meet her in an hour.

She dropped the little girl at Della’s house and the two spoke briefly, the old actress encouraged her to go and have a talk to her lawyer but she also reassured her that David was only trying to intimidate her by saying that. Then, Roma kissed Reilly goodbye and left.

"Is it gonna be alright someday, auntie Della?" the girl asked, watching as her mother entered the taxi that was waiting for her outside the house. The old actress squeezed her tiny hand and stroked her hair, "Yes, baby, it will be. It may take a while, but in the end, God always makes everything alright."

"Then I’ll ask Him to take care of mommy, cuz she’s sad..."

Della’s heart was filled with sorrow to see the sad expression on her meek face, "Oh, baby... I’m sure He’s taking care of your mom... Now come with me, I have a surprise for you!"

"A surprise?"

"Yes, a surprise that your uncle Johnny sent to you!"

As he had said before, John left a pretty little doll for Reilly there and when the little girl unpacked it, her hazel eyes shone with happiness, "Look, auntie Della! She’s pretty!"

"Oh, yes, she sure is, baby!"

"I wish mommy was here, I want to show her!"

"You can show her when she comes back, baby."

"And what about uncle Johnny? I miss him, I wish he was here to give it to me..."

"Well, don’t you wanna talk to him and thank him for the beautiful present?"

Smiling, and imagining that John and Roma were keeping the distance because of the news on the tabloid, Della took the phone and dialled John’s number, hearing the actor’s voice a few seconds later, "Hello, baby!"

"Hi, Della! How are thing going?"

"Well, not as well as we both would like, but they’re ok," he knew what she was talking about, even if she didn’t know about the whole story. "I have somebody here who wants to talk to you... Somebody who is missing you terribly!"

She gave the telephone to Reilly and John soon heard the little girl’s voice on the other side of the line, "Hullo? Uncle Johnny?"

"Hey, my little princess!" two equally broad smiles appeared on their faces even if they couldn’t see each other.

"I miss you, uncle Johnny!"

"Oh, angel... I miss you too, baby, I miss you a lot!"

"I love the doll, she’s so pretty!"

"Well, I’m happy that you like her but you’re prettier!"

"Thanks!"

"How are you, angel?"

"I’m fine... but I’m a wee bit sad too..."

"Why? What happened? Are you ill?" he was immediately worried to hear that.

"No... It’s cuz you’re not here... Did I behave badly?"

His heart ached to hear that question. David certainly had to pay for all the heartache and pain he was making Roma and that innocent child go through. "Oh, no, baby, of course not! You didn’t do anything wrong, angel! You’re my precious baby, ok? Never forget that I love you very, very much!"

"Really? the hopeful smile on Reilly’s face and the spark in her hazel eyes caused Della to force back the tears.

"Really, princess! I love you very much, and even when we’re not together, I think about you and you’re always in my heart!"

"You’re always in my heart too, uncle Johnny!" she replied, finally causing a tear to roll down on her "grandmother’s" cheek and filling her "uncle Johnny’s" heart with emotion. "But why aren’t you here with mommy and me? Why don’t you come to see us anymore?"

"Well, honey... right now it’s necessary that I stay here in my house and that you and your mom stay there, we have to remain separate for a while, but it’s just temporary, I promise!"

"But I miss you... and I know that mommy misses you too, she’s very sad. I saw her crying today."

He frowned with worry, "Your mom was crying?"

"yes. then she brought me to auntie Della and went to see Miss Amy."

He was even more worried to know that Roma had gone to see her lawyer. Wondering if David had to do with that, he felt the need to act immediately, "Reilly, angel, listen to me: I have to go to a place now but I won’t take long. Then, at the end of the afternoon, I’ll pass by auntie Della’s house to see you, is that ok?

"You promise you’ll come to see me?"

"I promise, little angel."

"It’s ok then. I’ll wait for you, uncle Johnny!"

"Good. I have to go now, honey. I love you."

"I love you too."

After a short talk with Della, John was decided to do something that would put an end to David’s threats. The blond actor took his car keys and left his apartment some time later.

*

Roma’s talk with the lawyer lasted for a long time. The actress was so desperate that Miss Gray had to do a long work trying to calm her down, assuring her that her ex-husband was trying to do nothing but psychological terror by saying those things on the newspaper. But the lawyer was not John. if there was someone who could put her heart at ease, this one was him.

When they finished talking, however, Roma felt at least a little calmer, but only until she left the office and headed to the elevators hall. There, talking to two other men wearing suits, was David. She felt her heart beating faster and a chill ran down her spine to see him again, to face the man who had turned her life into a hell.

"Well, well, what a coincidence, Roma..." he sarcastically spoke, "... looks like we both came to see our lawyers who have offices in the same building!"

"Why are you doing this, David?" she replied, with tears and despair in her eyes.

"Doing what? Oh, our meeting here was accidental, I didn’t have the intention. And I guess I’d better leave, you must have a lot to talk to your lawyer..."

"Can’t you see the pain and suffering you’re causing to us all? To Reilly, especially!"

"You’re the one who should’ve thought about it before abandoning our house. I’m just claiming what’s mine!"

"She only abandoned the house because of your constant abuse, David..." A third voice was heard in the hall – John had just got out of the elevator and walked over to them. His eyes were shining with anger and he had to control himself not to punch that man as many times as he deserved, "And Reilly was never your property!"

"John..." Roma’s voice was almost a whisper, as his appearing there was totally unexpected. Besides, she thought that her hurtful words on the phone had sent him away forever.

"Hey, the little boyfriend! You know that the judge is not gonna like your performance on the beach when he sees those pictures?"

The actress was already shedding tears of sadness when John stood beside her and faced David. In his hands, a few papers which he showed him, "Those pictures show two friends talking. They show me trying to reassure Roma that her abusive ex-husband was not gonna hurt her again! And these papers here in my hand show how sick and abusive her ex-husband is!" he said, throwing them against David. And now it was him who eyed them with anger, "What’s all this?"

"Those are records of your driving drunk along the streets of Salt Lake three times in the last two years. Besides, I have also a record signed by a psychiatrist pointing violent tendency and advising serious treatment..."

David’s face was more than surprised; he didn’t expect those records to appear again, he had paid for them to vanish. And Roma was equally surprised with that: those papers were of extreme importance to the legal fight for Reilly’s custody. And it had to be John, her dear John, the one to find them.

"You’ll pay for that, you idiot!" the man threatened, not really knowing what to do and finally losing control of the situation. John stepped closer to him and looked deep inside his eyes, "Why don’t you leave her alone? Why don’t you disappear from Roma and Reilly’s life and let them be happy?"

"The girl is my daughter and you have no right to tell me that!"

"Your daughter? You never cared about her! you don’t even know her shoe size or her first words! tell me, what’s her favourite toy? And her favourite food? Have you ever put her in bed? Have you ever rocked her in your arms until she fell asleep?" he said, not missing the man’s annoyance.

"Damn you! I won’t stay here listening to this bunch of nonsense!" David was really irritated and, for the first time, feeling threatened with what John had found out.

"Well, at least we agree on something: get the hell out of here, you cannot come closer to Roma and I doubt she or Reilly want to see your face! And David..." he lowered his voice in a way that only that man could hear his words, "... I also know what you did to Roma during the time you were married and though there isn’t any physical evidence of your abuse, maybe the judge would like to know about it too..."

David gave him and Roma a final look before walking away from the hall. Only then, John turned to look at Roma, who covered her mouth with both hands to stifle her constant sobs and started to cry. The blond actor quickly shortened the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her, in a tight, bear hug, and said a quick prayer of thanks when she also held him tightly. "Shh... It’s ok now, angel. It’s ok... This bastard is not gonna threaten you again."

"I didn’t know about this... about him driving drunk and the psychiatrist’s diagnosis..."

"I have a friend who’s now working at the Salt Lake PD and who found these records. These, along with the other records of the recent treatment he’s taking are enough to convince anyone that you are, and always have been, the only one to keep Reilly’s custody." She clutched the fabric of his shirt and let out another sob, "I treated you so badly... You shouldn’t even look at me again, you..."

"That’s impossible, Roma. What I feel for you is too special and too big to end up like this, with a simple phone call..." he kissed the top of her head, "... Besides, although I was mad at you then, I knew pretty well that you didn’t mean any of that. I knew what was in your heart."

"You’re right... I didn’t mean it... I felt like my world had fallen apart when I thought I’d lost you. Little did I know that you were... that you were helping me..."

He pulled away and gently wiped the tears on her cheeks. "I told you and I’ll keep on telling you: I’ll do anything for you, baby. Anything."

After brushing a tender kiss on her forehead, he took her hand, "Come with me, I’ll give the papers to your lawyer."

*

After they had shown the papers to the lawyer, the couple headed back to Della’s house and were warmly greeted by an excited 3 year old little girl, who threw herself in her "uncle Johnny’s" arms. "You came! I’m so happy now!"

"I’m happy too, little angel!" he spoke, kissing her cheek, "And I promised I’d come, didn’t I?"

*

Despite all the problems that had happened lately, the evening was a happy one. Della smiled contentedly to see that John’s presence made Reilly and Roma a lot happier, as they were more talkative and had smiles on their faces. The old actress also noticed the way he looked at Roma: his green eyes were filled with nothing but pure love, that was for sure. Della couldn’t tell if Roma was corresponding to his love – or if she had noticed it at all. A squeeze in the hand, a light caress on the cheek or in the hair were evidences of his feelings for her, and, like a mother who only wants the best for her daughter, the old actress lifted a silent prayer, hoping that in the future she could see her two "babies" together not only as friends, but as a couple in love.

Later on, Roma announced that they had to go home (despite Reilly’s protests), and reluctantly accepted the ride that John immediately offered her. "Here we are..." the Irish actress spoke, opening the apartment door, "Please, come in, Johnny."

Smiling, he stepped inside and looked at his surroundings, "Wow! It’s really beautiful!"

"Mommy and I arranged everything!" Reilly proudly informed.

"Oh really?" his surprised face caused Roma to suppress a smile. The little girl grabbed his hand, "Come, uncle Johnny, come to see my bedroom!"

*

"It was a busy day for her..." Roma whispered, as she and John quietly left Reilly’s bedroom some time later, after putting the little girl in bed.

"Yes, that little angel is off like a light!"

"But she was very happy to see you again," the look in her eyes was full of gratitude, "In fact, we were both happy to see you again."

"You know how much it means to me to hear this?"

They were now in the living room; she gave a step forward and held his hand, "John, please forgive me for what I told you the other day..."

"Roma, it’s not..."

"No, please, let me apologise. I treated you so badly that, whenever I remember it, I feel ashamed of myself. Please, don’t take to your heart any of the words I told you, because the truth is that Reilly and I do need you. You’re... like an angel in our life. Without your reassurance, without your love, I don’t think I’d be able to face... all this..."

He reached out and touched her face; his fingertips gently caressing her cheek. "Angel... I didn’t even begin to show you how much I love you..."

Looking deep inside his emerald pools, Roma could see the great love, protectiveness and devotion he was willing to offer. And that brought tears of emotion to her eyes. There were so many things going on at that moment, so many painful decisions to be made that having a romance would be the last thing to consider. But John’s constant tenderness and care showed her that maybe in the future it would be possible to love again. "John..."

He quickly pressed his finger against her lips to silence her, his smile never fading from his handsome face, "Shh.... Don’t say anything, baby. Just let me take care of you..." then, the actor gently cupped her face with one hand and, after one more gaze at her teary brown eyes, he bent his head and lay a tender kiss on her cheek.

"I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll keep calling you every day until we get a chance to see each other again without raising any speculations."

He pulled away and moved to open the door when Roma stopped him, "John..."

Fresh tears were already falling from her eyes when she called his name, which immediately let him worried, "What is it? Aren’t you feeling alright? Are..."

"I’m fine... I just... I was just wondering if... Before you go, could you hold me again, please, John?"

She didn’t have to ask again – it took him a split second to wrap his strong arms around her small body and gently pull her closer to him, in a tight, comforting embrace. Resting her head against his chest and treasuring the ever so gentle movement of his fingers running through her hair, the Irish actress closed her eyes and tightened her arms around his waist. "Thank you..."

"Don’t thank me, angel. Just let me love you..."

*

Standing by the window, Roma watched as John’s car left the garage of the building and disappeared in a corner at the end of the street. Still with teary eyes, and staring at the place she had last seen his car, she leaned against the window glass. "...Johnny... you’re so precious to me..."

****

Days seemed way much longer for both Roma and Reilly without John’s loving presence around them. The young actress knew time was coming when they had to go back to film and she feared rumours would increase even more when they met everyday. The "casual" meeting with David and John’s appearance had given the man and the tabloids fuel to their gossiping and now it was an everyday thing to open the newspaper and the magazines and find new articles regarding them both. "The angelic couple", "Divinely in love" were the nicest ones… other just called her flatly adulterous, and John got his part too. She couldn’t stand it more. The word was terrible and it hurt a lot to read it… but what hurt more was that she was starting to believe she was it: she had betrayed her still husband… with her best friend. To have his reputation all dirty was the last thing he deserved, John, the one who had been with her like no one else would have been.

To the other that everything seemed totally unfair was Reilly. Roma felt so guilty to have her baby inside the small apartment all the time. At the beginning the little girl asked her to go to the park; when she had refused over and over, the baby had just given up and resigned herself to climb up the couch and just stare through the window for hours. It broke Roma’s heart.

But the couple of times she had left the apartment, she had had nasty experiences with women asking her how she and John could play angels and betray her husband the way they had done. Little they know about the hell her life had been the last year, but she wouldn’t be explaining them… After that, she had accepted Julie and Della bringing her groceries and all she and Reilly could need.

It was Sunday, just one week before she went back to film, and it was a sunny and warm day. Reilly was again in her place on the couch, looking at some children on their way to the park, with tricycles, bikes and balls, ready to have fun. Roma discovered it and although she had to fight herself to give up her resistance of going out, she came closer to her baby and took a seat by her side. "Would you like to go to the park?" she asked stroking her curly hair.

"No, mommy, it’s ok…" she replied in the lowest voice.

Roma felt tears prickling in her eyes: how deep was she hurting her daughter? "This is not what you deserve, baby..." she said, her voice caught in her throat. "Come on, get ready. We’re going to the park…"

Reilly’s eyes lit up so much that the wide smile in her little face only began to describe her happiness. "Really, mommy?"

"Yes, poppet… let’s go…" the actress said and saw her jumping down the couch and running to her room.

*

Roma let go of Reilly’s hand when they reached the swings. The actress had taken her dark glasses and covered her hair with a silk scarf trying to go unnoticed by the people who would be at the park. She spotted a lonely bench under a tree and she headed there, checking if she could keep an eye on the girl from there. She had taken a book so she would pretend to be reading, and her plan worked quite well. Yet, she was just pretending to read. Her mind kept on playing everything that had happened and often she found herself missing John more than she was willing to accept. By now, she was just living to wait his phone call that would be arriving every day in the early nigh to wish them both sweet dreams, and more than once she had had those sweet dreams… regarding a night that seemed to have divided her life memories in two. She now knew John was in love with her, but she also was certain that if they could have had a chance someday, she had spoiled that forever.

Her sight caught in a couple not far from her, strolling calmly around the park, hand in hand. She felt and was trying to convince herself that was not for her anymore, that she would have to find the way to live alone and only devoted to Reilly… if she got the custody. She lifted her eyes to find her child briefly and then went back to the book, reading one line and allowing her mind to travel away as far as it could. It was only after a few minutes that she looked at the kids again. And she froze.

She searched the swings for the curly dark hair. She stood up and looked among the kids playing by the sliding board. She dropped the book and turned to the opposite side, to the little path that circled the park. "R-Reilly?" she called, her voice trembling clearly. "Sweetie, where are you?"

"Hey, you are her! You’re Monica!" a voice said near by Roma and for a brief second the actress turned to face a middle age woman, who was only a feet away from her, examining her face as if counting every single eyelash.

"I’m sorry, ma’am… I’m not…" the actress tried to escape her.

"Yes, you are! You’re the angel!"

"No, I am not!" she tried to keep on looking for her baby girl.

"Jesus! How could you do this?" the woman went on as if she had not heard her. "You are supposed to set the example! There are millions following your show!"

"Please, ma’am, I’m trying to…"

"People take seriously what you say, you know?" the woman continued even stopping Roma from moving from that place. "You should’ve thought about it before you started having an affair with John! You are a ma…!"

"AND YOU BETTER STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW RIGHT NOW!" Roma shouted and glared at the woman with such anger in her eyes that she even stepped back a little. "I’m a human being just as you! I’m not an angel and I’m not perfect! You have no idea of what I am going through now, of what a hell is all this to me! You have no right of judging me or John! And right now all I want is to find my baby!" she said and left the woman frozen in her place.

"Reilly, sweetie?" Roma arrived by the swings. "Hey, cookie, you were playing with another girl?" she kneeled and asked a blond girl of about 5 years she had seen with Reilly. "Where is she?"

"She went that way with that man…" the little girl pointed towards the opposite direction of the path.

"What man?" Roma asked, her heart beating a thousand times a minute.

"She called him ‘daddy’," the little girl added and at those words, the actress felt like fainting. John’s words came to her mind immediately: "To hell with the restricting order!" He was right: a paper was not stopping David from hurting them again.

"Oh, no, please, God!" she murmured by the time she all but ran towards where the girl had told her. She reached the sidewalk just in time to see David carrying Reilly in his arms and ready to get into his car. "MOMMY!" the girl shouted when she saw her mother.

"DAVID, DON’T!" she yelled and luckily that called the attention of a policeman that had seen her run.

"Stop there, mister!" he ordered David, reaching his side sooner than Roma. "What’s wrong, ma’am?"

"Mommy!" Reilly cried again and fought to get free and be in her mother’s arms.

"S-she’s my daughter, officer! There’s nothing wrong!" David tried to defend himself. He was pale and was sweating slightly and stuttered a little when he replied to the officer.

"But he has a restricting order and he can’t come closer to us!" Roma explained reaching to take Reilly in her arms, cradling her little head against her shoulder. "You are supposed to be away of us, David!"

"I cannot be away of my kid! I love her!" David tried to argue, faking innocence.

"You don’t!" Roma cried.

"Okay, okay…" the policeman stopped them. His partner had joined them in case they needed. "I’m sorry but you’ll have to come with us…"

***

The ring of his cell phone made John jump and he didn’t know why. He was calmly reading in his apartment some of the scripts the TBAA producers had already sent him. He had just read a scene where he and Roma would be talking together and a strange anguish had taken control of his heart. All of a sudden he couldn’t take his co-star out of his mind. When he turned to look at the clock, he realized it was not yet hour for him to call, so he had to wait. Since all this had started, she had been very careful not to call him. He would have never thought she was in fact calling him…

"Yes?" he answered the phone not very enthusiastically.

"J-Johnny?" Roma’s crying and trembling voice made him react immediately.

"Roma! Baby! What’s going on?" he was on his feet a second later, his breath caught in his throat.

"David… Reilly… He tried to take her!" she cried. "Please, come! I need you!"

"WHAT?" all his mind had registered were the words "David" and "Reilly". "Calm down, Roma. Tell me where you are…" He was breathing hard so his voice wouldn’t reflect his worry.

"At the police station… Please, come!" The anguish in her voice was so clear that everything in him hurt to hold her close to him.

"I’ll be there in a minute, Roma, but please, try to stay calm! Call Amy, she has to know about this!" he instructed trying to have her focusing on something else.

*

John recognized Amy’s car as soon as he parked his outside the police station. He sighed as he knew Roma was not alone. He strode up the stairs to the main entrance and it didn’t take him much to find the little actress talking to her lawyer.

"Excuse me, sir, but…" a female officer tried to stop him.

"I need to be with that lady over there", John merely explained walking pass her and towards his co-star. "Roma?" he asked softly as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Johnny!" she cried and threw her arms around his neck immediately. "It was horrible!!! I thought I had lost her!"

"Shh, baby, calm down…" he combed her hair soothingly and kissed the top of her head. "It’s over now…"

"You warned me… I should’ve heard you…"

"That’s not important anymore… What matters is that you both are safe… Where’s Reilly?"

"A social worked took her… They have to have a serious talk with her. That will be the starting point for the judge to decide where she has to live…" Amy intervened.

"But there’s no doubt about it!" John exclaimed. "She cannot live with David!"

"She cannot live with her adulterous mother either!" David’s voice made Roma shudder and John felt anger growing in his heart immediately. "What kind of an example would that be?"

"One much better than any you could give her!" John shouted. "One full of love and care!"

"Of perversion! Her mother and her lover! What an example to give a child!" the man continued.

"And what about a man who drives drunk and gets in trouble with the police every time he goes out at night?" the actor lost his temper and tried to grab David by the shirt, but Roma and Amy stopped him.

"Johnny!"

"John, no!" both women exclaimed. "Please, John, don’t make things more complicated!" Amy’s voice made him come back to reality.

"Yes, yes, go ahead, Johnny!" David mocked him now knowing he would have the advantage if the actor lost his temper. "Hit me, kick me and show everyone you’re the devoted lover Roma needs by her side! Show that you’ve been together all this time! Had it not been for the fact that you entered the stupid show when she was already pregnant, I’d swear that girl is your daughter!"

"She’s more my daughter than yours, you stupid bastard!" John roared and Roma and Amy had to do a big effort to stop him. "I’d give anything for her to be my daughter! You just don’t deserve either of them!"

"You don’t know!" David replied so mad too.

"Gentlemen, please calm down!" a policeman separated them. "You better stop this arguing now and for good!"

"John, please, calm now! You’re not helping Roma!" Amy faced the angry actor. "This has been enough and we are heading to court right now!"

Those words had the effect of a bucket of water to calm a burning fire. David stepped backwards, knowing that with what John had found about his driving drunk, he was in trouble in the eyes of a judge. "Then we will meet in court!" he still threatened but both John and Amy knew it was more for fear than anything else.

It was when the actor turned to look at Roma once more. She was swiping at her tears angrily, as if feeling that crying in public made her look weaker. "Baby…" John sighed and reached to hug her again. "Please, forgive me…"

"Why is all this happening to me, John, why?" she sobbed painfully, her head buried in his chest. "What did I do to deserve this hell?"

"Nothing, Roma!" he hugged her tighter. "You don’t deserve this and this will be over soon, I promise!"

"Roma, it will be over…" Amy intervened, her heart moved at the scene with the two actors. She too asked herself why Roma had had to meet David and not John in the first place. "We will set for court next week. I have to ask you to be very strong… this is not going to be easy…"

"I’ll do anything, Amy…" Roma sniffled, "…anything to stop this…"

"Okay…" the lawyer left them alone and went to see what was going on with Reilly.

Silence fell over the room once Amy departed as John held the little actress in his arms. He could feel the shuddering of her body and the way she clutched at him told him that exhaustion had infected her entire being. This war, though only a few weeks underway, had been terribly violent and it broke his heart to know with everything in him that Roma was the greatest casualty. He and David might be angry and Reilly may be confused, but this young woman in his arms took every single word and action that David bestowed upon her, to heart and John had a feeling that she was drawing closer to her breaking point.

"I hate him," Roma’s whispered sob broke the quiet and caused him to hold her more tightly, "I hate him so much. How could I ever have loved him? Why couldn’t I see him for what he was?"

"Shhh," John soothed, trying to find words that would comfort her, "He didn’t want you to see it, Angel."

"I trusted him, John. There was a time that I trusted him and he betrayed me in so many ways…." She shook her head against his chest, "Was I wrong to leave him? Would I be fighting to keep my daughter if I had just…dealt with it?"

"No!" John’s voice was forceful as he pulled away and cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look into his eyes, "No one, Roma, no one should ever have to ‘deal’ with the things you did and no man should ever treat a woman the way that bastard has treated you," He watched as fresh tears welled up in her swollen eyes but the intensity didn’t leave his voice, "Your trust in him should have been precious to him, Angel, but instead he ran all over you with it and he didn’t give a damn that he did. I can barely stand to look at him myself so I have no idea how in the hell he can look at himself in the mirror, knowing what he did to you, and still see himself as anything more than an animal. That man should be behind bars for what he did to you. God, Roma, I hate him myself for hurting someone so precious to me…someone I love so much….so don’t ever let me hear you say that you should have stayed and ‘dealt with it’."

She was crying again, his words making their way straight to her heart and great relief filled her when John pulled her close once more. Roma held onto him tightly, his words still resonating deep inside of her soul and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to let his last few words push aside the doubts she had about herself.

"I don’t know what to do…" She whispered after another moment had passed and her statement held so much uncertainty that John knew she was asking him for help.

"You’re going to let me take care of you for awhile, Angel. I don’t give a damn about reporters or lawyers or anything else. We’re going to get Reilly and I’m going to take you both home, where I’m going to stay with you. You need to get some rest and you can’t do that if you’re afraid. You have nothing to be afraid of with me, Roma."

She knew his words spoke volumes and a little bit of peace worked its way into her troubled heart. He wasn’t asking for her to return his feelings, only for permission to be in her life in whatever way she could allow. Roma only hoped that one day she could allow so much more where he was concerned.

"Okay," She uttered tiredly, and then, "John?"

"What is it, baby?"

"Can we stay like this until Amy comes back?"

He didn’t reply in words. He only tightened his hold on her and gently stroked her hair and her back and for a few minutes, in that tiny room with everything going wrong around her, Roma allowed herself to feel safe and loved.

*****

John and Roma had their work cut out for them for the rest of the afternoon once they got back to her apartment with Reilly. The little girl was shaken by the events of the afternoon and it took the two adults a long while to be able to calm and reassure her. But finally after much talking followed by Reilly’s favourite dinner of cheese pizza, the child fell asleep looking rather content. John carried her to bed as Roma followed him closely and he knew that Reilly had not been the only one shaken by the things that had happened today.

After John had tucked her into bed, he stood behind Roma as she watched her daughter sleeping peacefully, her dark eyes taking in every feature of Reilly’s face.

"I can’t believe I almost lost her today," Roma whispered shakily, "I only looked away for a moment and…."

"Baby, don’t do this to yourself," John admonished gently as he squeezed her shoulders, "She’s safe and from what Amy said, Reilly’s conversation with the social worker went even better than expected. She was scared, but look at her now, Angel."

Roma nodded her head numbly before she leaned over to kiss her daughter’s forehead, "I love you, poppet," She whispered before she stood up and allowed John to lead her from the room with a hand to the small of her back.

"I think someone else should be getting some sleep as well," He remarked as he faced her outside in the hallway, his eyes tracing the dark circles beneath her eyes and her pale appearance, "You have nothing to fear, Roma. I’m staying on the couch. I want you to be able to rest knowing that you and Reilly are safe."

She wanted to argue. She had already let him get too close tonight and she was still afraid of reporters making things worse for all of them. But she just couldn’t do it as he was right. Sleep at best lately had been troubled and after what had happened today, Roma knew she was would be listening for every tiny sound that could signal danger if John didn’t stay.

"That would be nice, Johnny," She finally admitted, "Thank you for coming today. I was so afraid…I didn’t know who else to call…" She bit her lip anxiously as she looked up into his eyes, "There was no one else to call….You’re…You’re my family."

He felt the sting of tears in his eyes at her words and he was unable but to resist pulling her close to him once more, "You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that, sweetheart."

"I don’t have any right to feel that way," She confessed sadly, "I have no right to call you whenever I feel afraid. I’ve hurt you more than once since this whole thing started…" A small shudder went through her when she thought about the night they had spent together. She would never forgive herself for that night; for using him that way, "I’ve made such a mess of our friendship, John."

"No, you haven’t," He replied with infinite love and patience, "I don’t want you worrying about us, Angel. We’re just fine."

A tiny sob of relief escaped her as she nodded her head, "I don’t know what I’d do without you."

"Well, that isn’t something you ever need to worry about." His lips brushed against her forehead before he pulled away from her, "Now, how about you get some sleep, huh? You’re exhausted, Roma."

"I am tired," She admitted as she turned towards her bedroom door and then stopped herself, "I need to get you blankets and pillows…"

"Just tell me where they are, sweetie."

"Hall closet."

John nodded his head, "Sweet dreams, Roma."

"You too," She replied softly as she turned again to her doorway, but once more she paused and turned her head towards him once more, "Thank you, Johnny, for everything."

His green eyes met hers and they held her gaze for a silent moment, "Roma, it has been an honour and a privilege."

******

John flicked through the channels on the television once more, though he had long ago muted the volume as he was unable to focus on anything long enough. His mind kept going over all that had transpired today, how upset Roma and Reilly had been and how he longed to whisk them both away to a place where David would never find them.

He had very little doubts about Roma getting custody of Reilly when it was all said and done. There were so many people who could testify to what a wonderful and loving mother she was and with negative things piling up against David, no judge would deny Roma her daughter. Both he and Della could minimally testify that the night Roma had left her husband, she had been bruised with broken ribs, so even if abuse in the past could not be proven, that bit of information would at least set a precedent to David’s violent tendencies.

No, those were not the things that worried John as his concerns went much deeper. He worried about Roma’s mental well being after all she had been through the past few years. What David had put her through could easily have destroyed her were she not so strong, but still he worried about her breaking. Which brought him to his second greatest worry. Though he was sure who would end up with Reilly’s custody, that was no guarantee that David would leave Roma alone. Ever. John now knew what the man was capable of and David had obviously been desperate enough today to try to abduct Reilly. It had been a foolish move that would cost him in court, but it also increased the knowledge that David was indeed a loose canon. Today had proven that the man would do whatever it took to "win" this fight with Roma and that David wanted the "last word" at all costs. What John also knew was that if the son of a bitch so much as laid another hand on the little actress, it would take an army to keep him from killing David.

A tiny noise from behind him, caused John to turn his head quickly, but his expression immediately relaxed when he saw Roma standing there, wrapped in a blanket, her eyes holding a haunted expression.

"Angel? What is it? Are you all right?"

Roma nodded her head as she moved around to sit down on the sofa with him, her weary brown eyes focused on the floor, "It’s stupid. I just…I had a dream…"

He frowned as he moved one of his pillows to his lap and patted it for her gently, watching as she hesitated only briefly before lying down with her head on the pillow and her hand on his knee. Carefully, he moved to stroke her hair, not wanting to make her uncomfortable but needing to soothe her, "I take it that it wasn’t a good dream."

"No," She whispered.

"About David? About him taking Reilly?" He wanted to open the door for her to discuss it if she wanted to, but he didn’t want to push too hard.

"No," A small tremble went though her body, "It was much worse than that."

She hadn’t said much and yet it had been plenty for him to understand the horribly painful things she was remembering. He watched her tenderly, his heart aching for her, "You’re safe now, baby," He replied softly, his hand still continuing to brush lightly through her hair, lulling her closer to sleep.

"I feel safer now," Roma felt her eyes closing though she wanted to stay awake. She wanted to remember this feeling of safety, of love, "I know you’ll never hurt me."

"Never, Angel. Never in a million years." He could tell now that she was in that place of being partially awake and partially asleep, her body simply unable to continue, "Sleep, sweetheart."

For a moment he thought she was finally sleeping peacefully as he watched her dark lashes lay against her pale skin, but then a tiny sigh escaped her, "Why wasn’t it you?"

His heart leapt to his throat as he watched her drift into a much deeper sleep. John knew she would remember little if any of this conversation by morning’s light, but he knew with absolute certainty what she meant, "Don’t give up, Roma," He whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear him, "Don’t give up on us, baby." Even if she didn’t remember this in the morning, he would and it gave him great hope, that maybe one day, when all this was over, she would be able to open her heart to the possibility of him.

****

By the following afternoon, Roma was feeling more than restless. She had awoken that morning, alone on the sofa and fear had immediately gripped her heart. She had cried out for Reilly, suddenly terrified that while she had slept, David had come for Reilly. Her screams had bought both John and her daughter racing to the living room and little Reilly was further upset when her mother clung to her and sobbed for the next few minutes. Once Roma had pulled herself together, she and John were back to trying to calm the baby down and the actor could clearly see the guilt in his friend’s eyes over upsetting Reilly once more.

"Johnny?" Roma pulled him aside after breakfast, her expression pensive, "Would you mind taking Reilly out for a bit? She just needs to go and do something fun and I need to try to get myself together for her sake."

"Roma," His hand moved to cup her cheek, "I’m not sure you being alone right now is such a good idea."

"I know," she pleaded sadly, "But Reilly deserves this and I just…." She remembered the previous day and being verbally attacked in the park by that woman while she had been frantically searching for Reilly. She just couldn’t handle that again so soon, "I need a little time to regroup."

His green orbs were filled with great concern. He was loathe to leave her, at least not alone, "Let me call Della, okay? You two could use a visit," He wanted to add that maybe Della could offer her some advice that maybe he couldn’t, but he decided to keep that to himself.

She gave a small nod, "That would be nice." Her throat felt so tight that she could hardly get the words out, "Thanks."

The lump in her throat felt as if it were choking her as he leaned in and brushed a tender kiss on her forehead before he left the room to make the phone call. Her life was falling apart and Roma felt guilty about all of it. She should have refused John’s help that night. Then the night they had spent together never would have happened, she wouldn’t be worried about her husband kidnapping her daughter or terrified about losing her custody in court. It had all spiralled out of control so quickly that she barely had time to catch her breath.

*

It took Della half hour to arrive at Roma’s apartment and when she got there the first thing she noticed were the dark circles under her co-worker’s eyes and the exhausted expression on her face. Without saying a word, the old actress opened her arms and gave her a motherlish hug and the young actress couldn’t hold the multitude of painful feelings that had been inside her heart: at that very moment, all she could do was hold her dear friend and burst into tears.

It took them long minutes to pull away and speak. Della wiped away the tears on Roma’s face, which was red and swollen, and guided her up to the sofa. "Come here, baby. We’ll sit down and talk, but before you do need to calm down and take a deep breath..." she went up to the kitchen and brought her a glass of water, waiting patiently until the Irish actress could speak again.

"I’m sorry, Della, I just don’t know what’s come over me lately and..."

"No, you have nothing to apologise for, baby. You’ve been through a lot lately and you cannot keep all this to yourself."

"Thank you... Thank you so much for being here..."

"You’re like my daughter, and I’ll always be here for you, Roma, always!"

"I know... I lost my mother when I was still a little girl but I’m so grateful that God sent me you..." she said, squeezing Della’s hand and biting her lower lip nervously, "You’re like a mother to me..."

"How is Reilly?" the old actress wanted to know, trying to lighten the mood.

A bittersweet smile appeared on her dearest friend’s face, "She’s fine... Johnny has this... amazing ability of dealing with her and she always has a good time with him."

"Oh, that’s something I’m never tired of watching – how Lovejuice adores that little angel!

Roma felt a knot forming on her throat to think about how much of his life John devoted to both Reilly and herself and whenever she did so, the terrible sensation of guilty for rejecting his love only increased inside her heart.

"I just hope Stars Magazine leaves them alone this time and that there’s no paparazzi to take more pictures of them both together!" the old actress continued, "I get so mad to remember that article they published last week insinuating that you and Johnny are lovers! Don’t they have the minimum of respect for other people’s lives? I get furious when..."

Roma’s fresh tears and the way she lowered her head interrupted Della and the old actress frowned with deep concern, "Baby? Roma, what is it? Is there something wrong? What happened?"

"Oh, Della... I’m such a terrible person... such an awful person!" she said, and started to cry once again. Deeply worried and even scared to think about what could be causing her tears, the old actress held her hand and soothed her hair, "Baby, what you’re saying is nonsense, it’s not true at all! Of course you’re not a terrible person! I know you pretty well to know that you have a kind and loving heart, and even your fans, people who don’t know you like I do, know that! What makes you think something like that?"

Sobbing violently, as her kind words were not enough to comfort her heart, Roma shook her head, "That magazine..."

"It’s only a magazine! A tabloid to which nobody gives credit!"

"... it’s true..."

Those two tiny words were enough to take Della by surprise, and a puzzled expression appeared on her face, "I’m sorry?"

"... the article... the... the article about John and me..." Roma sighed deeply, gathering all the courage to finally tell her dear friend the reason for her tears, "When... when we left to your house, Reilly, Johnny and me, I was so fragile... so miserable... John comforted me; he became a constant presence, night and day, watching over both Reilly and me... When those pictures were taken at the beach we were still friends, nothing had happened yet but... One night we... we spoke until late and I was feeling so lonely... so undeserving of love... Before I knew he was telling me that he loved me... that... that he would spend his life at my side... And... what happened next was so intense, so..." she finally faced her friend and concluded, "We spent the night together, Della... John and I slept together while we were there at the beach house!"

"What are you telling me, Roma?" the perplexed tone in the actress’ voice was enough to make her feel even worse.

"That’s it! Even you are shocked with what I did! I messed things up with John so badly that I’ll never be able to fix them again! I used him, Della! I took advantage from his feelings just to prove myself that I could make someone care about me, that I could get more from a man other than pity and rejection! I did this to him! To the one who least deserved it!" her continuous sobs stopped her from talking.

"Roma, baby, calm down! I’m not shocked, I’m just surprised!"

"I can’t give him what he wants... I... I can’t love him the way he wants or I’ll end up ruining everything again! His friendship, his loving presence and support... I need him so much and if we go on beyond friendship I know that I’ll ruin everything again, like I always do!"

The oldest actress shook her head, frowning with disapproval and deep concern. "Wait a minute there, baby, what you’re saying is not true and I think you’re way too confused about what’s going on!"

"I know what I’m talking about, Della! I can see how hurt he is every time I make it clear that we should remain nothing more than friends; I know that I’ve already ruined part of our friendship that night! It was all my fault! All my fault!"

Della waited patiently until her tears subsided once again, silently praying to find the right words that could put Roma’s troubled heart at ease. Now some things had become clear to her; the way John looked at her, the way he treated Roma... it was more than friendship, it was deep devotion due to the immense love the blond actor held in his heart.

Watching as her friend seemed a bit calmer, she reached out to cup her face and looked straight into her eyes, "First of all, baby, it wasn’t something you did. You and John are in this together!"

"But it was only because I..."

"Shh... First of all you should stop blaming yourself for what happened! John loves you, now I’m finally sure that what I see in his eyes is more than friendship; but you didn’t do anything to make him start loving you..."

"Oh, no! I didn’t! I promise I didn’t, I was expecting Reilly and... still trying to save my marriage... even if things were not going well then..."

"I know, baby, I know... But Johnny knew how to respect it and kept his feelings for himself, until... well, until you became a free woman again, as I know you and David haven’t been a couple for a long time."

"That’s right, we haven’t..." she sadly agreed, loathing to think of all the horrors she lived in the hands of that evil man, "... and I ended up making John suffer because of what’s happened to me..."

"John is suffering because he cannot bear to see someone he loves in so much pain. I know he wants you to love him as a man not as a friend but he has to understand that right now you’re in a delicate moment, unable to think about starting another relationship and knowing Lovejuice the way I do, I’m positively sure that he understands it. And what you need to do right now, Roma, is to give yourself some time... Even if you’re not married anymore, you’re going through a lot to see things clearly; you’re very confused, lost and not thinking straight at the moment."

"I don’t know what to do... I just wish I could turn back time so that... that night didn’t happen and now I wouldn’t be feeling so guilty..."

Della squeezed her hand, "Everything happens for a reason, baby: you both meeting, the immediate friendship that came from it, the feelings that you both share in relation to each other, which right now are also a bit confusing... Everything has a reason and a consequence but only time will be able to show you both what’s really going on in there..." she pointed at her heart.

"I need him so much..." the Irish actress whispered, fresh tears constantly rolling down her face.

"And he’ll be at your side for as long as you need him. I know that, and you know that too. And at the right time, you’ll both know what’s the right choice to be made."

Without saying more, both held each other again and while Roma cried on her shoulder, Della prayed that her words could have brought some comfort to her troubled heart. And secretly she also prayed that, one day, her dearest friend could see John as more than a friend, for in her motherlish heart, the old actress felt that he was the "knight in shining armour" that would rescue Roma from the depths sorrow and despair and fill her heart with nothing but true love and joy for the rest of her life.

*

Considering the exhaustion she could see on her friend’s face, Della offered to cook some dinner, as soon Reilly and John would arrive, and now that she seemed a bit calmer, Roma started another very important conversation while she helped her friend at the kitchen.

"The meeting with the judge is due soon and... I don’t want to make you lie because of me, Della..."

"And why would I lie because of you?" the old actress asked, with a rather surprised face.

"You certainly will be asked if... if John and I have a romance and..."

Della raised her eyebrows somewhat defiantly, "And do you have a romance?"

That question seemed to produce a sudden sadness in her heart; a feeling of anguish she herself couldn’t manage to explain. "We... no... I guess not... But..."

"Then don’t you worry about what I’m gonna say in court, baby; just focus on getting our little angel’s custody – which I’m sure you’ll get!"

Roma was going to say something else but the sound of John’s voice and Reilly’s giggles reached their ears at the moment they came through the door and when the little girl saw her "grandma" she ran towards her and threw herself into her arms, "Auntie Della! You came!"

"Yes, baby, I was missing my little angel so much!" she replied, kissing the girl’s cheek and aware of the tender look in John’s eyes as he gave Roma’s shoulder a light squeeze.

"I missed you too! I love it when everybody is together! Only uncle Frank is missing!"

"Oh, baby, he couldn’t come but he sent you a kiss and asked me to tell you that soon he’ll come and see your new house soon!"

"Did you see my bedroom?"

"You bedroom? No, I haven’t!"

"Come with me, I’ll show you!"

Reilly grabbed her "auntie Della’s" hand and both disappeared through the corridor towards her bedroom, leaving Roma and John alone.

"You ok?" John knelt by Roma’s side, his hand still resting in her shoulder, his eyes showing the deep concern he felt for her.

Roma reached to dry her eyes, her hand still trembling slightly. "I… yes, I’m ok…" When John kept on looking intently at her, she continued, "I-I… talked to Della… I told her the truth about… us".

"Oh…" John took a deep breath and stood up. He knew Della would know eventually, but he never thought it would be so soon.

"I’m sorry, John…" the little actress murmured feeling her heart sinking to the bottom of her stomach with John’s reaction. "I-I just couldn’t lie to her anymore! I feel so responsible that the more I kept silence, the more my guilt grows! I’m sorry! I told her the truth! That this is not your fault but mine! It’s all mine!" She had started to sob again and that made John turn immediately to her and kneel by her side again.

"No, Roma, no!" he exclaimed cupping her cheek to force her to meet his gaze. "I’m not blaming you, baby! I’ve told you this a million times now: it’s not your fault, Roma. I’m here too. I was there that night too, and if there is someone to blame for what happened, then blame me!"

"No!" she tried to interrupt him but he placed a finger against her lips.

"Yes, Roma. I’m the only one to be blamed. I had been there all the previous days and knew how fragile you were. You were in such a delicate state of mind at the moment, and you kissing me… trying to feel loved… had nothing to do with the way I responded… and with what I confessed to you that day…" By the look in her eyes told him it hurt her to think he had lied… or at least he wanted to think so… "If you are asking, yes, Roma, I do…" he looked deep in her eyes. "I love you. I told you so and I will tell you the same forever. I have loved you since the very first time I saw you, and I know I will love you forever no matter what…"

She breathed hard, her tears rolling down freely. "John, I can’t…"

"I know. And again, let me finish. What happened that night… when I made love to you… Roma, that has been one of the most beautiful nights I have ever had, although I know it shouldn’t have happened… or at least not then… I want to say I am sorry, sweetie, for not thinking how I was complicating your life with my not controlling myself when I should have…" He touched her forehead with his lovingly, his hands still cupping her cheeks while her sobs subsided a little.

"I’m afraid all this will come out in court and I’ll lose Reilly…" she whispered at last.

"I won’t go telling about what happened between us if I’m called to testify, Roma…"

"You can’t lie!"

"I won’t lie! We don’t have a romantic relationship, Roma! As far as I know, we’re just friends, close friends if you want, but friends! And if I have to give my opinion, I will say that there is no one Reilly will be better with but with you! I’ve seen her since she was a little baby, and I’ve seen what a devoted mother you are, so, baby, don’t doubt it a minute: we will get her custody!"

She took a long minute to study his eyes, finding the same honestly she had grown accustomed to find in there. "What would I do without you?" she murmured with utter sincerity.

He chuckled lightly and kissed her forehead. "You don’t have to worry about it ‘cause I will always be here, by your side… no matter what." He pulled her into a tight hug, wanting to make her feel safe and protected… he buried his face in her sweet smelling hair and inhaled in her perfume. How he loved her! He would give half of his life for her to feel the same for him, but he had promised he would be happy with whatever she could offer him.

*

"I guess I owe you an explanation…" John told Della some time later, when Roma was gone to put Reilly in bed after the little girl reluctantly fall asleep at long last. They were together in the living room and the blond actor had had the impression all afternoon long that his friend was looking at him with different eyes.

"No, Johnny…"

"Yes, Della, I do… Roma told me about the conversation you two had…" he met the old actress’ eyes and hold her gaze for a long minute. "I don’t know how it happened. I know I should have stopped but…"

"Love juice, I’m not judging you… If you ask me, yes, I think this should not happen between you two, or at least not now… but I’m not going to scold you or something!"

"I feel I disappointed you, Della… and I’m sorry…"

A wave of tenderness washed the actress for the one that had been like her son the last few years. She loved both actors dearly and her feelings for the whole situation were now contradictory as on one side she knew their coming together had complicated everything not in the legal but in the emotional part, and on the other hand, she was happy to prove what she had imagined for a long time now, that John was in love with Roma. "Don’t be, Love juice!" she said reaching to hug him. "Instead of go back again and again to what happened, let’s think of what comes next…"

"There is nothing coming next, Della… at least, nothing between Roma and me…"

"Oh, don’t be that pessimistic, baby!" she exclaimed. "Sooner or later, this whole nightmare will end, and we’ll be back to a peaceful life…" she was silent for a moment. "Do you really love her, John?"

Della didn’t need a word to know the answer after seeing the shine in his eyes. "More than my life itself, Della…" he confessed. "I don’t know how all this started, but I do…"

"I knew it… The way you look at her… all the things you’ve done for her these past weeks… You’ll have your reward one day or another, John…"

"The only reward I want is for her to get Reilly’s custody and the divorce from that man…" he shoved his hands on his pockets and looked away.

"Don’t fool yourself, John… You do want something more. You can love her so much and so freely that all you want is her happiness, but deep in your heart what you are longing for is that she loves you back the same way. That’s why the moment caught you both and you surrendered to her. Maybe it wasn’t the wisest movement, but it was the most sincere. I’ll pray for it to happen, Love juice…"

John had felt his eyes go wet at Della’s words. It was just as if she was reading his heart and voicing what he didn’t want to tell himself for fear he would suffer. He had never considered the possibility of Roma not corresponding to his love for he knew his very life would end the moment he realized that. He needed her to live, he needed the hope of her love to carry on day after day. Right now, even the mere thought of the series coming to a end was enough to make his heart ache. He had grown accustomed to have her by his side everyday, and for the time coming, they would be together again. "We have to go back to film in three days…" he finally commented.

"Yep…" Della replied. "And only God knows if that baby is ready to do it…"

*

John did everything he could to make their first day back on the set as easy as he could for Roma. He had spoken to Martha two days before filming was due to start to fill her in on all that had happened and to request that David’s name be removed from the list of those having access to the set. The last thing John wanted was the lunatic showing up during filming with his empty threats and intimidating presence. But Martha had assured him that she would notify security immediately.

He had arrived early that morning to oversee a delivery from the local florist to Roma’s trailer. Though John would have preferred red roses, he settled for yellow in order to not make his co-star feel any pressure from him and he assured himself that four dozen was not over the top.

When Roma arrived on the set with Reilly, he could immediately sense her exhaustion and knew that sleep was still an issue. He wasted no time in taking both Reilly and the baby’s bag of accessories and toys from the little actress, freeing up her laden arms and bringing forth the smallest of smiles from her.

"Thank you, John." She murmured, watching to see that her daughter was still fast asleep in the early hour.

"No thanks necessary," he assured her, as he held out his free hand to her, relieved when she shyly slipped her smaller hand into his, "Did you get any sleep at all last night?" He asked her with concern as he walked with her to her trailer.

"Some," Roma’s response was vague and John knew beyond a doubt that nightmares were still filling her sleeping hours. It had been bad enough before, but ever since David had attempted to abduct Reilly, everything had intensified for her.

He held open the door to her trailer and waited for her to enter before he followed her inside.

Roma looked up as she turned the corner and then gasped as her eyes took in the large number of roses, as her senses were filled with their fragrance. Though he couldn’t see her face, John watched as she took the card with trembling fingers and he recalled what he had written as he gently laid the sleeping Reilly down on her bed and covered her up with a quilt. He then tucked Alice, the teddy bear that he had given her, next to her.

"To my dear friend, I know today will be hard, but know that I am right here beside you for as long as you need me and forever after that. I have such faith in you, Angel. You will get through this and then I pray that all your dreams come true. Love, John."

As she read the card, Roma could barely make out the words through the tears in her eyes and when she turned to face John, a small sob escaped her.

"Hey," He uttered softly, reaching to pull her close, "They weren’t supposed to make you cry."

"I’m sorry," She wept softly, treasuring the feeling of his arms wrapped securely around her, "It’s just that….it’s just…."

"What, Angel?" He whispered as his fingers ran soothingly through her auburn locks.

Roma wasn’t even sure of how to begin to explain what she was feeling. Everything about John filled her with peace and a certain knowledge that despite everything she felt about herself, someone still cared deeply for her. In the wake of a man who had broken and abused her, John’s love was her safety net. He was her safest place, a calm harbour against the rough seas that her life had become and those things alone meant more to her than she could ever put into words.

"Just…thank you…" She finally managed to say, "For everything. For being here. For being you."

John held her tightly for another moment before he pulled back to wipe away the tears from her face. Looking into her trusting eyes, he so longed to kiss her, but he refrained and smiled instead, "I’ll tell you what. Sarah is here already, so I’ll keep an eye on Reilly until Julie gets here so you can go ahead into makeup."

For the first time in days, if not weeks, a teasing smile crossed her face, "Are you saying I look like death warmed over, Mr. Dye?"

He let out a laugh as he shook his head, "Not even close, baby." He wanted to say more. He wanted to say just how blinded by her simple beauty he really was, but again, he wisely chose not to. He didn’t want her feeling awkward and her smile was worth everything to him.

*****

By the lunch break, Roma was acting a bit more like herself though her tiredness was beginning to shine through, despite Sarah’s magic in the makeup department. John and Della had been keeping a wary eye on her, both of them knowing far too well that with the trial starting in just two days, it was going to be all they could do to keep the little actress distracted.

"Baby," Della called to her younger friend once the cast and crew had stopped filming for lunch, "Do you want to join Johnny and me for lunch?"

John managed to hide his disappointment when Roma shook her head slowly, "I can’t today. I have someone waiting for me in my trailer," Seeing their looks of confusion and concern, she elaborated, "It’s Beth from People Magazine. I decided it was time to set the record straight."

John could easily detect the sadness in his friend’s weary brown eyes and he shook his head, "Angel, are you sure this is something you want to do today? I’m sure Beth will understand…"

"John, I called her to do the interview," She explained slowly, but still seeing confusion in both their expression, she sighed, "The rumors that David had started through the tabloids have the potential to hurt the show. I…I can’t even go out in public anymore without someone verbally attacking me about what a terrible person I am."

"Oh baby," Della said softly, her voice laced with sorrow. She’d had no idea of the problems Roma had been encountering and it broke her heart to think about the sometimes fickle fans who judged without knowing the whole story.

"I just need for them to hear my side," Roma insisted, her voice trembling with an emotion which John surprisingly recognized as anger, "Neither one of you have judged me about the things that went on in my marriage and it isn’t fair for people who don’t even know me to do it."

He felt a lump of emotion forming in his throat, "No, sweetheart, it isn’t. They don’t even know the things that we know, but Roma, are you sure you are ready to tell the world about those things?"

She fell silent for a moment, before answering, "I’m not going to tell her all the things I told you. I don’t think I can…I’m not sure I could even say those things again as it was hard enough the first time and I’m not sure how I’m ever going to repeat them again in court. But I can tell Beth what happened without going into all that detail."

John didn’t want to ask, but he was unable to help himself as he stepped closer to her, wanting to say it softly enough so Della couldn’t really hear, "Roma, what are you going to tell her about us?"

She worked the inside of her lip, eyes wide with agony. She didn’t want to say it, but he had left her with little choice, "The truth, John," She whispered, her voice laced with regret, "That there is no romance between us." Unable to meet his hurt-filled eyes a moment longer, she turned away, "I have to go. I’ll see you both after lunch."

Though John knew in his heart that Roma did not return the feelings he had for her, it was still painful to hear her speak it aloud. They had become even closer over the summer break as he had helped her to survive the slow ending to her marriage and he supposed that because of that closeness, he’d had moments of great hope that maybe one day Roma would realize she loved him too. To hear her deny anything between them, felt like a slap in the face that brought him back to reality. It wasn’t Roma’s fault. She had been through so much that the very idea of another relationship had to terrify her.

*

The following two days seemed like an eternity due to the tension that had settled in Roma’s heart. She hadn’t been able to sleep for more than two hours without waking up startled by the same nightmare – David was taking Reilly away, and the little girl’s cries calling for her echoed in her mind as vividly as when her ex-husband had tried to kidnap the baby.

But finally the day when her life could change forever had arrived: the hearing with the judge would happen in a few hours and to try to calm herself down, the Irish actress spent the entire morning together with her baby daughter. Reilly’s cheerful nature, certainly inherited from her mother, and her witty remarks about everything around her did make her feel better, even if once in a while the little girl noticed some sadness in the spark of Roma’s eyes.

"Why do we have to go to that place again, mommy? There’s a lady there who keeps asking me questions about you and... and about my daddy..." she wanted to know, as her mother dressed her up.

"Well, because that lady wants to know if you like to be with me, if you like living in here, with your mommy."

"But I told her I do..."

"But she’ll ask you this again, sweetie, just to make sure, you know?" the actress spoke, finishing to tie up her shoelaces.

She checked on her mom’s work with her pink tennis and nodded, "Okay..." Then, the girl raised her head again and looked at her mother with a quite serious expression on her meek face, "But I don’t want to stay with daddy..."

Sad to hear those words, Roma reached out and caressed her daughter’s curly hair, "We won’t, poppet. You see... Your daddy and I cannot stay together anymore... But it doesn’t have anything to do with you, ok? Never ever forget you’re much loved!"

"I know..." Reilly nodded, not showing any surprise with what her mother had just said, "Uncle Johnny told me that the other day, when we took a walk at the park."

A tear fell from her doe like eyes – even being away, John managed to be a loving presence in her life and of her daughter’s. "Oh, he did?"

"Yes... He said I’m a present from God to you..."

Roma stifled a sob and managed a slight smile, "Your uncle Johnny is very smart..."

"I wish he was my daddy..." then, an idea crossed her little mind and she smiled, "Why don’t you marry him, mommy? Like Bella and the Beast!"

Even shedding another tear, Roma couldn’t help chuckling, "Oh, angel... My little angel, come here..." she held her daughter tightly in her arms, "... the most important thing for me at this very moment is staying with you, honey. You’re very, very precious..." she said, kissing the top of Reilly’s head.

Still smiling, the girl wrapped her chubby little arms around her mom’s neck and rested her head on her chest, "I wanna stay with you too, mommy. You’re my heart."

They remained like this for some minutes, and the Irish actress had to make a huge effort to stifle her sobs, even though her tears kept on rolling down her cheeks. Yes, "uncle Johnny" was right, that little girl was a present from God to her. But what he didn’t know was that he himself was also a present and the only thing she regretted was the day she used him, taking advantage from his feelings for her.

For that, she would never forgive herself.

*

Some time later, Charlie took mother and daughter to the court and the hearing for Reilly’s custody finally started. John, Della and Martha were also there and the actress greeted them briefly, but the loving way the blond actor looked at her spoke volumes – she could easily see in his eyes all the reassurance and support he had given her maybe since the first day they met, and in his thoughts, John would be there, holding her hand and praying that everything would end just fine for her and Reilly.

The first part of the hearing was painful and hard for Roma. David accused her of being an absent mother and wife, of leaving him and "his little daughter" alone to go to parties, of taking lots of anti-depressive medicines and, most importantly, of having an affair with her co-worker. His lawyer used the pictures taken at the beach and some other newspaper articles to reinforce those last arguments and David ended his turn to speak saying that Roma was "exposing his little daughter to a risky and promiscuous life and that the little girl deserved a home and a parent who would take care of her with all the love her mother unfortunately was unable to give her."

That statement made Roma stand up from her chair and protest, despite the judge’s warning her to wait for her turn to speak. Amy, Roma’s lawyer, placed a supportive hand over the actress shoulder and squeezed it, stopping her from reacting to those hateful words. Soon after that, it was Roma’s turn to speak and David was the one to show anger towards the woman he abused and mistreated during the troubled two years of their marriage. She talked about their uncountable arguments, his violent behaviour, how terrified she was every time he arrived drunk at home, and about the constant aggressions she had suffered during the time they were married. The evidences John’s friend had found about David’s driving drunk were attached to the files of the custody action and they were also mentioned by Amy.

As his witnesses, David called a detective he had hired to spy on Roma and the man confirmed that she and John spent long weeks at Della’s beach house, alone, as the old actress was in Salt Lake with her husband.

Della, Martha, Julie were there to speak in favour of Roma and confirmed the caring and loving mother she was, as well as the fact that at that very moment, the actress lived for her little daughter and the only people in her life were her friends, who helped her through that difficult moment. David’s violent nature was also remembered by Julie and the nanny’s testimonial was of great importance for Roma. Despite David’s statement that she was an employee and that she would say exactly what she was paid to say, anyone could see the affection the young lady felt for little Reilly and the respect she had for Roma, which left no room for doubts about the truth in her words. With Della it was just the same, as the old actress confirmed that the romance David insisted on pointing at didn’t exist, as John and Roma were only friends. She concluded by saying that Roma was like a daughter to her and that she deserved nothing less than happiness, and that happiness meant being with little Reilly.

After Della’s testimonial, John was called. First, he answered to some of Amy’s questions, confirming once again what Roma’s friends had said about the Irish actress. But at a certain moment, David’s lawyer raised his hand and asked for permission to speak. With an ironic expression on his face, he looked at the blond actor and started a series of questions, and John knew pretty well his true intention.

"You and my client’s wife have a close relationship, as you said so yourself before."

"Your client’s ex-wife is my close friend, yes, that’s correct." The blond actor calmly replied.

"So it’s obvious you two spend a lot of time together, right?"

"Yes, we’re not only friends but we also work together."

"I see... And I suppose she lets my client’s little daughter to stay with you too, am I right?

"Ms. Downey allows her little daughter to stay with the ones who are like her family and who have always helped her to take care of Reilly, as unfortunately the word ‘father’ doesn’t have any meaning in the little girl’s life."

"Do you love my client’s wife, Mr Dye?" David’s lawyer asked him, which immediately caused Roma’s heart to pound loudly in her chest – maybe her little daughter’s future depended on his answer.

"Objection, your honour, this is a custody issue and a question like that has nothing to do with what we’re discussing here!" Amy spoke, with a self controlled tone of voice. The judge nodded his head in agreement. "I won’t consider this question."

It was then that John looked at the judge, "Your honour, I’d like permission to answer..."

The expression on David’s face was one of satisfaction – the "little boyfriend", as he used to call John, would end up helping him to defeat Roma, whose face went pale for a moment.

"It’s alright, you can answer to that if you want, Mr Dye, but as I said, I won’t consider this question in the aspect of this lawsuit."

"I know," he said, and turned to face his dearest friend, his heart immediately filled with sorrow to see the tears in her beautiful doe-like eyes, "I do. I love Roma. I love her and Reilly dearly." The impact of his words hit the court room like a bomb but John calmly kept on talking, "Roma and I first met when she was still expecting Reilly and I immediately noticed all her love and affection for the little baby who was still to be born. Soon after that, we became not only co-workers but also close friends, and anyone who spends some of their time with her will see the wonderful and generous person she is and the doting mother she became. Della and her husband, who adopted Roma as a daughter and Reilly as a granddaughter, Martha, Julie, Charlie and all the ones who have a permanent contact with her can tell you just the same: that they too love her very much and only want her to be happy."

He gave his dearest friend a quick look and continued to speak, "Well, some months ago I arrived at my dear friend’s house and what I saw would make any decent human being feel as angry as I was. The bruises on Roma’s face and the scared little girl I found there were enough to tell me that she was far from having the happiness she deserved at that house, as someone had been constantly abusing her so badly that she had packed her bags six months before that day and the only reason that stopped her from going away was the mere illusion that, somehow, she could save her marriage, that she could give her daughter a regular family. And I can assure you, as a close friend, that all this time, from the day that Reilly was born until this very moment, all Roma worried about was her little daughter. She fought and is still fighting to protect Reilly and to give her all the happiness she herself couldn’t have during all these years, even if she had to hide from everybody all sorts of aggression she’s been exposed to." the blond actor looked at Roma, who was now holding Amy’s hand and crying softly, moved with his loving words. Then, he turned to the judge and concluded testimonial, "So tell me, your honour, how could I not love such a generous and courageous person like her? Well, I’m proud to say that that woman sitting over there is my dearest friend and that I love her very much."

*

The rest of the hearing was soon over and the court adjourned for half hour. Lost in her thoughts, Roma walked over up to a small window inside the waiting room and looked at the blue sky, praying that God would allow her to stay with her little daughter. Suddenly, two familiar voices interrupted her prayers.

"I’m sure everything will turn out just fine, angel."

"Nobody’s gonna take that baby away from you..."

She turned around to see Della and John, and on their faces she found nothing but support, reassurance and much love. Feeling the presence of tears, she took their hands, "I owe you both so much... A lot more than I could possibly repay..."

They looked at each other and then at the Irish actress, "You don’t owe us anything, baby. We’re your friends, your family and there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you!" the old actress spoke, squeezing her hand tightly. John lay a gentle hand on the side of her head and smiled, "Angel... seeing you living happily with Reilly in your arms is the best way to repay us."

She shot him a grateful look and was about to say something else when they were called back to the court. If Roma would have a happy life or not, it all depended on the decision that was about to be given at that very moment. Once they were seated, the Irish actress looked briefly at David’s face and saw an evil and ironic spark in his eyes. If she could turn back time, she certainly wouldn’t have married that man. But then, she wouldn’t have little Reilly in her life, and imagining her existence without the little girl was the worst nightmare a mother could have.

When the judge started to read the sentence, she felt her heart racing and, at that moment of tension, she longed for John to be at her side, holding her hand and saying that everything would be alright. But he was sitting far from her and equally praying that she could get the custody.

A few seconds later, when the judge finally read his decision, Roma felt like her heart would burst with happiness – yes, Reilly was hers! Now even the justice left no space for doubts about her being the one and only person to take care of the little girl. With tears rolling down her face, the Irish actress looked behind her and there he was: his smiling face and all the love and reassurance evident in his green pools were a constant presence in her life, especially in the most important moments. John nodded his head, as if saying that he knew that everything would end up just fine for his "favourite girls". The hearing was over and then Amy, Della and all her friends came closer to congratulate Roma, and she never saw it when David and his lawyer left the court room, her ex-husband mumbling under his breath. Julie came just after that, bringing Reilly, who ran to her mother’s arms at the very moment she saw her.

John watched his beloved Roma’s happiness at a certain distance, as now it was her time to celebrate and he didn’t want to interfere. No, his assignment was accomplished. He had supported her through difficult times, offering her strength, reassurance and all his love, and now that that nightmare was finally over, the blond actor had decided to give her some space. If they were meant to be together, only time would say, and now it would depend on her – he’d proved his love for her in all the possible ways he could think of and the last thing John wanted was to force a situation with her. He loved Roma so much, so deeply, and only wanted her to be happy - even if her happiness wasn’t by his side.

But the Irish actress felt his absence and for the first time since she had heard the verdict, she placed Reilly on the floor and asked Della to keep an eye on her so that she could look for him.

She soon found her dearest friend standing in the corridor, hands in his pockets, looking through a window with a pensive expression on his face. "Johnny?"

He turned to face her with the constant gentle smile and didn’t miss the opportunity to kiss her cheek, "Hey, angel. Congratulations!"

"Thank you..."

"I knew everything would turn out just fine. Nobody could ever separate you and that little angel."

"Yes... thank God it’s all over now..." she looked deep inside his green pools, "... I’ll never, in a million years, forget what you said about me there nor what you did for me all this time..."

"What I said was nothing but the truth... and what I did... I’d do it all over again... just exactly the same..."

She knew how deep his words meant and felt the presence of tears in her eyes. "You once told Reilly she was a present from God to me... You were right, but God also gave me another present... you. You were like an angel in my life, Johnny, and... no words could ever express how grateful I am... how eternally grateful for all the courage you gave me..."

The blond actor reached out and wiped away a tear that suddenly rolled down her cheek, "I didn’t give you courage, Roma. It was inside you all the time, as you’ve always been a fighter. And don’t feel grateful, sweetie... I want you to know that it was an honour to be by your side all this time. And..." he took her hand and kissed its back, "... and you know now to who my heart belongs."

"John, I..."

He gently covered her lips, "I know that you cannot correspond my feelings the way I want to... and I won’t ask you this right now. You and Reilly deserve this moment and it’s fair enough to leave you two to enjoy it. But I want you to know that these arms will still be here, ready for you, even if all you need is a simple hug."

She let out a small sob, "I know... you never let me forget that..."

"Good... Don’t forget how much I love you either, angel. Because it’s part of who I am and it’ll exist for as long as I live..."

Feeling tears pricking her eyes, Roma covered her mouth to try to stifle her sobs and John pulled her for a tight, warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face on his strong chest, a safe harbour she used many times during the ordeal of the last months. Resting his cheek over the top of her head, he smelled the sweet perfume of her hair and soothed her arms until tears subsided. A sad, melancholic feeling took over his heart, as if that was the last time he was doing this. The blond actor closed his eyes and tried to send it away – of course he would hold her in his arms like that many times, if not as lovers, at least as friends. Also with tears in the corner of his eyes, he enjoyed that moment as much as he could, and when they pulled away, John lay both hands on each side of her face, "Go, angel. Go stay with your baby girl. Everybody is waiting for you there..."

"Aren’t you staying?"

"No... It’s your moment... you and Reilly should stay together now."

"Thank you... For everything... For being you..."

"Be happy, sweetie. That’s the best way to thank me..." he bent his head and brushed a loving kiss on her forehead, treasuring the contact of her soft white skin against his lips, longing to kiss her as many times as possible before they pulled away. "See you, angel..."

"Yes... we’ll see on Monday..."

And the Irish actress watched as he turned around and disappeared at the end of the corridor, after blowing her a kiss. And deep inside her heart, she felt like running after him and insisted on his staying, but she couldn’t. The guilty for what had happened with them at the beach house was like a ghost that would be permanently reminding her of what she might have had, if only David had not hurt her so badly. Had none of that happened, then maybe that night at the beach house would never have happened, and then maybe one day in the future, she and John might have had a chance. But all that had changed in a moment of reckless abandon when she had managed to not only use but deeply hurt one so precious to her.