I say love is a flower
By Gabriela Valenzuela
Prologue
"It was snow too that fell all Christmas week that year up in the Gauertal, that year they lived in the woodcutter’s house with the big square porcelain stove that filled half the room, and they slept on mattresses filled with beech leaves, the time the deserter came with his feet bloody in the snow.".. Monica really liked listen to Andrew’s voice while he was reading. He usually could find the exact tone of each sentence, even if it was only a description, that made her feel there was a whole story right behind each word. It was not Christmas week and there was no snow in the forest clear where they were, but she felt she would definitely love to live in a house with an old stove and mattresses of leaves some time.
Fall wind was getting colder but Monica felt perfectly comfortable sat only over the yellow leaves of the trees, laying on Andrew’s arms, enjoying the slight changes of color the sunset gave to everything around. It was not very common that both of them had a free day, so they had found it a perfect chance to spend the day together. They had had a lovely picnic and after long hours of talking, Andrew had offer to read something to her.
"What was this? A catalogue of old books? What was his talent anyway? It was a talent all right but instead of using it, he had traded on it. It was never what he had done, but always what he could do. And he had chosen to make his living with something else instead of a pen or a pencil." Andrew turned to look at Monica and found her looking steadily at him, as if trying to memorize every tiny detail of his face. "What’s happening, Angel girl?"
"Nothing." Her voice was quite a whisper. "I like to hear your voice while you’re reading."
"Ernest Hemingway really knew what he was writing, don’t you think?," Andrew said while he showed her The first forty-nine stories title page.
"I think you really know what you’re reading."
"Well, he better knows, Miss Wings!" Tess’ voice almost made both Monica and Andrew jump. "Because his next assignment will be about literature..." she quite enjoy the surprised faces of the younger angels, ."..and about some other things."
Chapter 1
Andrew stood still looking in surprise at the marble frontispiece with golden letters where he could read "American Ballet Academy." Both Monica and Tess were having trouble in controlling their laughter at his priceless puzzled face. "Tess," the blond angel turned to face his supervisor, "are you sure this is where I’m supposed to be?"
"Positive, Angel boy!," she chuckled from her seat on the red Cadillac.
"You know I love to dance, but this..."
"And who told you that you were supposed to be a ballet dancer? I told you your assignment was about literature. You’re their new Drama teacher. I seem to recall you know your Shakespeare quite well."
"Oh, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet!" Monica teased him overacting Juliet’s love confession.
"I’ll take charge of you later, Angel girl," he said, narrowing his eyes and pinching her nose tenderly. "So, Tess, what should I do?"
"Go ask for Mr. Jonathan Michels. He’ll tell you what to do."
"And what about you?"
"Monica and I will be together. We’ll actually be just a kind of support for you."
"Ok," the angel of death finally said, "I’ll see you in the afternoon."
"Have fun, Romeo!," Tess teased him before turning on the car. "And don’t break the heart of too many Juliets around there."
About an hour later, Andrew was watching in awe his new group. Instead of the normal blue jeans and T-shirts of other college students, they were all using tights and leotards, but their chat was just the same of any other group of this age. He thanked God for the past assignments where he had been a teacher for he knew he would need all that experience this time. He began calling the roll and stopped at one name: Natalia Rosenberg. His assignment. She was a small brunette young girl, with long dark hair and almond shaped eyes that were already fixed on his face. She seemed rather shy and serious, and blushed deeply when he smiled friendly at her. He used the first part of the class to know them, and so he learned Natalia was the most promising student and the next principal ballerina of the American Ballet for sure. By the end of the class, all the students were pleased with their new teacher and their chat was full of plans for a modern version of Romeo and Juliet for the final performance of the school year, just as Andrew had suggested.
Before the blond angel left the classroom, a man with dark hair of about 40 years came in. "Hi, you must be Andrew, the new Drama teacher." The angel shook hands with the man. "I’m William White, the choreographer of the company."
"Nice to meet you, William," though actually there was something in him that Andrew didn’t like at all.
"I guess we’ll be working together this year more than others. I overheard some of the guys saying you suggested to perform Romeo and Juliet."
"Yeah... I wanted it just as an exercise for the class, I didn’t mean to interfere in you job..." Andrew felt like he was trying to justify his first day there.
"No, I think it’s a great idea," William said. "The ballet hadn’t performed it in some years and I haven’t decided what we’d be doing. It has to be something they like too, so I must say thanks."
"Great."
"Natalia, can I talk to you?" the choreographer turned to see the girl who had remained in the classroom. "See you later, Andrew."
The angel of death saw them walking away and a sudden feeling of unease made him realize his assignment had something to do with William too.
***
By five o’clock, Andrew walked along the almost desert corridor towards the staff entrance of the Academy. He didn’t have a clear idea about what his assignment was yet but only the permanent sensation of something going wrong between Natalia and William. He was doubting about asking Tess for more information as he didn’t know for sure what he was supposed to do, when all of a sudden he saw something out of the corner of his eye that made him stop. The door of William’s office was slightly open and he could clearly see his figure. He was kissing somebody, quite passionately for what the angel could see, but he couldn’t recognize who the woman was. He stared at them trying to get a view of her, but William’s words soon gave him the name. "You’re so stupid, Natalia."
For one second, the angel of death was sure he had misunderstood. Had William called her stupid? He could not hear a word from the girl, only a tiny sound he guessed was a drowned sob.
"Stop it! Just stop it!," it was William’s voice again.
There was silence once more, only broken later by the sound of the man’s footsteps when he moved besides a window. The girl walked behind him and then Andrew could see her. He hasn’t been wrong, it was Natalia Rosenberg, his student. The ballerina tried to wrap her arms around his waist but the man freed himself quite brusquely. The angel saw her bending her head down and he figured out she was crying. "I love you," Natalia whispered.
There was a sarcastic laughter from William and then again the rude words. "See? I told you you’re so stupid."
Knowing he had heard enough, Andrew walked back to his classroom. He wanted to get into the office and hit the man that had dared to treat a young girl like this, but he knew that wasn’t God’s plan and that wasn’t his job either. About half an hour later, he left the school and only a block away he saw William and Natalia once more. They were in his car and she was still crying. The blond angel decided he needed to help her, but before he could reach them, the choreographer turned on the car and soon they were lost in the middle of New York’s traffic.
***
Monica was talking animatedly to a small brunette woman when Tess met her that evening at the main entrance of Hillside Hospital in Long Island. The woman was chief of Psychiatrics there and the Irish angel had been assigned to help her as her assistant.
"Hello, baby, how was your day?," Tess asked as she came near her charge.
"Hi, Tess. I want you to meet Dr. Mary Ann Rosenberg."
The dark skinned angel shook hands with her before asking. "Rosenberg? Are you Dr. Richard Rosenberg’s wife?."
"Yes," the woman answered. "Do you know him?"
"I’m his new assistant nurse. I just arrived today."
"Oh, well, what a coincidence. We both had new assistants today," she said without noticing Monica and Tess sharing a brief sight. "I’d like to stay, but I must go home now. My daughter should be back from the ABA anytime soon and she will be starving!."
"Your daughter is a ballerina at the ABA, Mary Ann?," the little angel asked.
"Yes, why?."
"Because we have a friend there. Maybe he knows your daughter."
"Yes, it’s possible," the woman answered not actually paying much attention while she looked for her car keys on her bag. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Monica. It was nice to meet you, Tess."
"Nice to meet you too," the older angel answered and they saw her walking out of the hospital. "Andrew is not here yet?," she asked her charge when they were alone.
"No, but I think he’ll arrive in any minute," she said. "Look, here he comes."
"Ok," Tess said starting to walk. "Who wants to get a cup of hot chocolate with me?"
Andrew and Monica followed her obediently hand in hand. "Can I have a moka latte instead, Tess?," the Irish angel asked with the tone of an eight-year-old.
"You’re pushing your luck, Angel girl," the supervisor said knowing she had lost the battle of wills with the younger angel.
***
An hour later, the three angels were seated in a cabinet of a nice coffee shop, looking at the crowded street, three empty cups in front of them. Tess and Monica had been talking all the time, one telling the other about their first day with the nice couple of doctors they were working with. Richard Rosenberg was an oncologist and Tess talked about feeling comfortable helping people who face death everyday, not only as patients but also as doctors.
Monica and Andrew were seated together and he had wrapped an arm around her shoulders, his hand stroking distractedly her arm. The little angel was so excited about her own day at the hospital that she hadn’t noticed how awfully quiet the angel of death was. It was Tess, with her experienced eyes, who forced him to talk. "And what about you, Angel boy?" He turned to see her evidently surprised at being taken out of his thoughts. "How was your first day with the ballerinas?," she repeated.
"Fine, Tess, it was fine," he said unenthusiastically.
"Is there something wrong, Andrew?," Monica asked noticing the worry so evident in his eyes.
"No, nothing," but his tone said much more for two angels that knew him quite well.
"Of course, there’s something wrong, Angel boy," Tess stated. "You can’t fool us so easily."
"What is it, Andrew?," Monica asked, her dark eyes reflecting both love and worry.
He saw her pure interest and he decided he didn’t want to worry her with his suspicions. She had been so happy with her new assignment that he didn’t feel fair to spoil that joy of hers. He took her hand and kissed it. "It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s just that I’m not absolutely sure about it yet."
"About what?," the older angel asked.
"Don’t mind me," he finally said after a moment of silence. He smiled and changed the tone of his voice. "What would you say if we go for a walk? It’s not too chilly out there." The blond angel held Monica again and met her still skeptical gaze. A moment later, he was standing at the side of the table, a hand outstretched towards the Irish angel. Monica turned to face Tess for a second and saw her supervisor slightly shaking her head, meaning she also didn’t have a clue about what was troubling Andrew.
Some minutes later, the trio was walking on the street watching the windows of the stores, each one thinking on something different.
Tess was trying to get a divine word about the blond angel’s assignment, but silence had been her only answer so far.
Andrew was asking himself how a man could tell a woman he loved her and then abused her the way William had done. His mind was still refusing to put the words "I love you" together with "You’re so stupid," as he thought he would never hurt someone he loved, like the Irish angel who was walking with him, the way William evidently used to hurt Natalia.
But maybe the most troubled mind of the three was Monica’s. Andrew had wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as soon as they had left the coffee house, and she had wrapped her arm around his waist just as she always did, but something felt wrong. At that moment of the night, she was feeling tears threatening her eyes, and an awful sensation was growing in her heart. Why wasn’t he talking to her? Didn’t he trust her? Had she made something to get him mad? The Irish angel took a deep breath and then sighed heavily in an attempt to fight back her tears, and held her beloved friend tighter. Her heart plunged to her stomach when she didn’t feel him returning the gesture, and made a silent prayer for this being only a bad night.
Chapter 2
Monica had already brought up to date the files for the new day when Mary Ann arrived the next morning. "You’re an early bird, Monica," the doctor commented as a way of greeting.
"Good morning, Mary Ann. I hope you don’t mind that I started without you."
"Not at all. I must recognize I hadn’t had such an efficient assistant in a long time."
"Thank you."
"Do you have any plans for today?," the doctor asked the little angel while she started to look at the files over her desk. "What would you say if we have lunch together?."
Monica hesitated a little. "Mmm... I’m sorry, but actually I wanted to ask if you don’t mind if I go out at lunchtime. There’s someone I need to see..."
"Your friend at the ABA?"
"Yes, I hope you don’t mind."
"Nonsense!," the doctor told her assistant. "You go and enjoy your lunch. I’ll see you in the afternoon."
****
Andrew had been looking for a chance to talk to Natalia all the morning but the moment seemed not to be the right one. He wanted it to look rather casual, so the girl would trust him easily instead of feeling fearful. The group was just leaving their pas-de-deux class when the blond angel saw her walking slowly behind her classmates. "Hi, Natalia, how are you?," he said joining her.
The girl blushed slightly when she saw her new teacher coming to her. "Oh, hi," she managed to say.
"You look a little worried. Is there something I can do for you?"
"No, I’m fine, thank you. Why do you ask that?," in fact she’d be worry if she couldn’t hide her real feelings anymore.
"Listen. I don’t want to be indiscreet but I saw you yesterday afternoon in William’s car," it was not the whole truth but the angel wasn’t lying. "I saw you were crying." He saw her remaining silent and bending her head down. A tear traced its path through her cheek. Andrew tilted her face tenderly and then whipped her tears away. "You’re a beautiful young lady. You shouldn’t be crying for nothing."
Natalia felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach at his words. Though she really was pretty, nobody used to tell her so and it certainly was nice. She looked at his eyes and saw the tenderness that was always present in them. She couldn’t understand what his interest meant, but a feeling of self-confidence burst in her heart. "Thanks for your interest," she said finally, "but I don’t think you can help me."
"Well, we can’t be sure unless we try, can we? Why don’t we continue talking at lunchtime?," the angel of death said as they reached the pilates classroom.
The ballerina was really confused, but a part of her was enjoying his attention. She didn’t make friends easily and usually she spent lunchtimes alone or just hearing her classmates conversations, so the idea of having someone to talk while having lunch was quite a pleasant one. She turned to face him and smiled before answering. "Ok, I’ll see you later then."
****
Monica walked along a corridor and stopped for a minute in front of the open door of a classroom where twenty dancers followed obediently the instructions of a middle-age woman, who was walking around them, correcting an arm here and a hand there until the lines of their bodies were perfect. She smiled and the soft music helped to free her heart from the apprehension she had felt all morning long. She was still worried for Andrew’s behavior the night before. The little angel started to walk again and right on the next corridor she met him. He was just closing the door of his classroom when her familiar accent made him turn. "Hello, Andrew. I hope you don’t mind I came to see you here."
She hadn’t finished her words when he had pulled her for a warm hug. "Hey, baby, what a beautiful surprise!." He kissed her temple before pulling apart. The Irish angel smiled contently: at least, that was who he usually was. Maybe last night had been just a bad night after all. "What are you doing here?," he asked rubbing her arms softly.
"I was worried about you yesterday," she offered, her dark, caring eyes fixed on his. "I came to see if we could have lunch together so..."
His expression made her stop talking. He released her and buried his hands in his pants pockets, deliberately avoiding her gaze before beginning with stuttering excuses. "Baby, I’m sorry," he said. "I have an appointment for lunch already and it’s something I can’t miss." He couldn’t say who felt worse; Monica, who was biting her lower lip and avoiding his sight, or he himself, who seemed not to find the right words... if there was something like the right words. "I’m really sorry, angel."
"It’s ok," she said obviously disappointed. "I should’ve thought better than came to distract you while you’re working."
He took her hand. "Listen, Monica, why don’t we...," but he didn’t finish his question as he saw Natalia coming from behind the little angel.
"Shall we go?," the young girl asked not paying any attention to Monica.
"Yes, let’s go," Andrew said meeting the Irish angel’s gaze once more. "I’ll see you later, ok?" He squeezed her hand lovingly, hoping that the gesture would speak enough but he was wrong.
Monica saw them walking together and she didn’t miss the sparkle in Natalia’s eyes. She shook her head and turned to leave the building, scolding herself for what she was thinking. She shouldn’t be feeling that, she shouldn’t be jealous. Nevertheless, she wasn’t happy at all to know that her best friend would be having lunch with a girl whose eyes were already reflecting much more than a simple gratitude.
****
At lunchtime, Tess went to Mary Ann’s office to look for Monica as she was still worried about Andrew and longed to talk to her charge to see if the blond angel had offered something more. "Hello, Dr. Rosenberg," Tess greeted the brunette woman. "Is Monica around here?"
"Please, call me Mary Ann," she answered. "No. She went to have lunch with her friend at the ABA."
"I see," the dark skinned angel answered quietly.
"Yes. She said she wanted to surprise him." The woman looked carefully at the angel, who appeared to be suddenly lost in thought. "Have you known her for a long time?"
"Oh, yes," the supervisor answered chuckling. "She’s like a daughter to me."
"And you don’t like that friend of hers..."
The assumption made Tess to look at the woman in surprise. "No, no. He’s like my son too."
"Then, why are you so worried?"
"Never mind," the older angel said. "I may come back later, ok?" But when she was about to leave, Monica came in evidently upset. The little angel didn’t notice she had closed the door with a quite audible slam. Both Tess and Mary Ann had their eyes fixed on her until the doctor spoke.
"You came back early."
"Yeah. I couldn’t talk to him. He said he had another appointment he couldn’t miss," her tone of voice was making evident her confusion and anger.
"Men," the woman sighed. "Whenever you want to make something special for them, they find a way to spoil your plans." She stood up and patted the Irish angel shoulder friendly. "Don’t worry. Everything will be all right. I’ll go try to have lunch with my own ‘man’ if he doesn’t have another idea. See you later."
Tess saw her leaving the office before she turned her attention back to her angel baby. "Ok, Miss Wings, start talking," she ordered.
Monica sighed heavily before she started to pace desperately, her walking matching her whirling thoughts. "I went to see him, Tess. I wanted to talk to him. He seemed quite happy to see me. He said it was a nice surprise. Then I asked him to have lunch with me, but he said he had another appointment, and then this girl came and he went with her without saying more, and...," she stopped the flood of her words as she saw her supervisor trying to control her laughing. "What’s so funny?," the little angel asked almost angry.
"You’re jealous."
"No, I’m not!."
"Of course you are, baby. Do you know who the girl is?"
"No, but..."
"But you’re mad because Andrew is talking to her instead of you."
The older angel had a point and Monica’s eyes said so. "Well... yes. I don’t like that," she admitted. "But that’s not my point. What I don’t like is that he’s not telling me what’s bothering him!"
"Don’t try to fool yourself, Monica. You’re angry because this girl is using Andrew’s time when you wanted to be with him. But don’t forget that he’s an angel before any other thing and he is supposed to help people. That girl, I assume, is his assignment and you should know better that’s the most important thing right now."
Monica remained silent for some minutes before she spoke again. "I know, Tess, you’re right. Still, I’m not exactly happy."
"That’s something I can see," the older angel replied ironically. "Listen to me, baby. The Father sent him there not because He wants Andrew to be a caseworker again. He sent him because his assignment is gonna need an angel of death. That may not be easy, neither for her nor for him. He may need you, both as an angel and as someone who he loves and who loves him. I know you’re upset and that’s perfectly normal. But remember there will always be times like this regarding to the people or angels you love, and you’ll have to learn to deal with them and go through them." Seeing her young charge nodding, Tess pulled her for a warm hug. "I’ve scarcely seen a relationship like yours. I know you love him and he loves you, that’s what matters most."
****
Natalia could hardly remember a time when she had felt happier than now, seated in front of his handsome teacher, her bright eyes reflecting the joy of her smile. It had been quite easy to talk with him about how she had become a ballerina and the great expectations many people had in her talent. She didn’t feel she was showing up, she was talking to someone who seemed really interested in her. What hasn’t been that easy was to discuss her relationship with William.
"Natalia," the blond angel reached for her hand tentatively trying to force her to answer his next question, "we’ve been talking about many things but we haven’t come to the first that brought us here. Do you have any problems with William White?"
The girl freed her hand and buried it in her lap, bending her head down. "I don’t want to talk about it."
"It’s obvious there’s a problem and I want to help you."
"Do you have any trouble, Natalia?," William’s voice startled both of them. Andrew turned to see him and could feel his anger growing inside.
"N-no," the girl stuttered nervously, "everything is all right."
"Good," the choreographer said. "Then, can I talk to you?" He grabbed her by the arm quite rudely and Andrew stood up immediately. His green eyes met William’s in a silent challenge.
"Yes, let’s go," Natalia said quickly, feeling her new teacher was about to lose his temper. "Thanks for the lunch, Andrew. I’ll see you later."
"Natalia...," the angel tried to argue.
"No," she interrupted him. "It’s ok," and he saw her walking mildly with him.
"What the hell are you doing, Natalia?," William mumbled leading the girl to his office. "Do you think I’m a toy?" Once they were there, he closed the door. He went near her and took her chin with a strong hand. "Look at me, Natalia, do you think you can play with me, little girl? Answer me!," he almost shouted.
"N-no," the ballerina replied with trembling voice and eyes full of tears. "I’m sorry, I didn’t think you would mind..."
"Of course I mind! I love you, do you remember?," his tone pretended to be cute but there still was a clear note of bitterness. Natalia lifted her eyes to meet his at this words. She was still crying and said nothing more when he leaned down to kiss her quite violently. On a corner of the office, unseen for the couple, Andrew crossed his arms and shook his head in disagreement.
"If you love me, why you never show me?," Natalia asked when they parted.
"Here we come again!," William said with exasperation, freeing his embrace and turning his back to the girl. "When are you going to understand I don’t like all that kind of ridiculous things lovers say? ‘You’re my life’, ‘I can’t live without you’. I won’t say that, you know it!"
"What would it hurt to tell me sometimes you love me?," her teary tone was nothing but a plea.
"You know that. I don’t have to convince you. If you doubt me, that’s your problem."
"Sometimes, I don’t feel you really love me... You never touch me, you never hold me but here," she had come near him and tried to stroke his shoulder, but he pulled it back quite rudely.
"Remember what I’ve told you about?," he said turning to face her. "I told you since the beginning that none should know about us."
"But, why? Why would it be wrong...?"
"Because I can’t favor any student in particular and that’s exactly what I’m doing with you!"
"But you said I’ve won my place because of my hard work...," she murmured.
He suppressed a chuckle in scorn. "And you believed me? That was what I had to say." Seeing her crying, he sighed heavily. "I guess you want to be Juliet, don’t you? That would be your unofficial debut as a principal with the American Ballet."
Natalia looked at him in surprise as she hasn’t thought she could lose the role. "Yes, I do."
"Good," he said and gave her a distracted peck on the cheek before walking to take a seat behind his desk. "Then stop crying like a spoiled baby and go back to work."
"I’ll see you later?," she asked still pleading.
"I don’t know. I may have a prior appointment." He wasn’t looking at her anymore and she turned to leave.
Andrew looked at her with deep sorry. This wasn’t fair, she certainly didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Then he listened to William’s voice again. That was the last thing the angel could’ve expected.
"By the way, Natalia, don’t eat anything at dinner."
"What?," she asked bewildered.
"I saw you eating like a pig at lunch with your new teacher."
"I just had half a sandwich and vegetables!"
"And you want more? We’re weighing you tomorrow morning and I don’t think any Juliet of the American Ballet has been more than 80 pounds."
Chapter 3
The afternoon had been almost uneventful for the chief of Psychiatrics of the Hillside Hospital and her new assistant. They had gotten a call from ER to evaluate a homeless man who had been found wanting to climb to the Statue of the Liberty, and besides the normal rounds to check on the other patients, there had been nothing but a nice chance to talk. Mary Ann had come to really appreciate the little angel that was helping her, especially because of the peace she seemed to bring with her words either talking to a disturbed patient or just chatting with a nurse or any other employee. Monica was telling her about other times when she had worked on a hospital when a phone call interrupted them.
"Hello?," the doctor said picking up. "Yes, one second, please. It’s for you." She handed the phone to the surprised angel.
"Hello?," her tone was quite uncertain.
"I just wanted you apologize for today," said a voice on the other end of the line that she recognized at once as Andrew’s.
"You don’t have to," she said smiling.
"Yes, I have and I’m making up things for today later. So, wait for me after work. I’ll pick you up there. Now go back to work, ok?," his voice was tender and almost a whisper.
"Ok," the little angel whispered. "Bye." When she turned to hang up the phone, she found the smiling face of her temporary chief. "What, Mary Ann?," she asked feeling certain that that smile was about the conversation she had just had.
"Looks like someone is feeling guilty for spoiling a surprise visit for lunch."
"He shouldn’t have to..."
"But he is and now you’ll have a lovely night with him instead of a short break between your hours of work." The doctor saw Monica smiling and felt happy for her. Then, she leaned back to her armchair and released a heavy sigh. "Your friend seems to be a great guy. Tess told me he’s like a son for her."
"Yes," the Irish angel replied. "Tess is like a mother for both of us. I don’t think God could’ve given me better friends."
"He sounds all the contrary of my daughter’s boyfriend."
Seeing an opportunity to learn more about her assignment, Monica took a seat in front of Mary Ann and tried to keep on the conversation. "Why don’t you tell me about him? I have the feeling you don’t like him much."
"You’re more than right, Monica. I don’t like him a bit. The funny thing is that I don’t even know him!"
"You haven’t met him?," the little angel asked.
"No. Natalia has found all kind of excuses. He never goes to our house, he never calls her. I think he must be one of her classmates at the ABA, but she doesn’t want to tell me. I’m really worried for her, sometimes even scared."
"How long have they been dating?"
"Two years, I guess. Since she first went to the ABA."
"It’s quite a long term. But why are you scared?"
"Because I have the feeling that this guy is abusing her and she doesn’t tell us. Natalia is not the same girl she used to be two years ago. I can understand she’s under a big pressure but she doesn’t smile anymore, she never goes out with her friends. If her teachers didn’t say she’s the best of her group, I would be sure we were wrong on letting her go to the American Ballet," the woman confessed.
"But being a ballerina is what she wants to be..."
"But I’d rather prefer to have a happy daughter than a famous one. Besides the stress, I’ve noticed she’s losing weight too fast, but I can’t find a way to make her eat."
"Have you tried to talk to her?"
"Millions of times! She doesn’t trust me anymore. I wish I could have the right words, just as you seem to have with the patients. Isn’t that funny? I’m a psychologist, I help people to deal with their problems and I can’t help my own daughter!"
The little angel took Mary Ann’s hand to try to comfort her and the effect was clear in a minute. The doctor looked at the angel’s eyes and she could feel a peace that seemed to be irradiated by her Irish assistant. "Maybe because you’ve been trying to be her psychologist instead of being her mother," she offered softly.
"I’m afraid, Monica," the doctor confessed with a low voice and eyes full of tears. "I would give anything to have my daughter back, to have that happy girl she used to be. What can I do?"
"Pray, Mary Ann. You can pray," the angel said patting the woman’s hand. "Ask God to help you to get to your daughter and trust Him with her. I promise He’ll see her through."
Mary Ann whipped her tears away before she could smile and answer. "Thank you, Monica. See? I was right, you always have the exact words to say."
"Not always," she chuckled lightly to try to cheer the woman up. "But I always ask God to help me to say what people need to hear."
****
Monica was quite distracted looking at the parking lot in front of the hospital main entrance and she didn’t notice Andrew coming behind her until a beautiful white rose appeared in front of her face. "A rose for your thoughts," he murmured startling her.
"It’s beautiful, thank you" the Irish angel said hugging him.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yes. Where are we going anyway?" she answered walking hand in had with him towards the red Cadillac.
"It’s a surprise," he said opening the door for her.
"Where’s Tess?" the little angel asked when he got in the car.
"At Home, I guess. She just lent me the car and told me this night should be just for the two of us. And you know what? I don’t have any complaints," he blinked an eye mischievously.
"Neither do I," Monica replied smiling happily.
Martin’s, the restaurant he had picked up was built at the end of a long dock so the customers felt they were in the middle of the ocean. They picked up a table next to a large window where they could see at the distance the shinning form of the Statue of the Liberty over the dark night sky. They were already waiting for their order when Andrew reached for her hand before he started to speak. "Monica, I’m really sorry for today. I hurt you and..."
Two fingers over his lips made him stop. "Please, don’t say more you’re sorry. You were working and your assignment is what matters most."
Andrew took her other hand and cupped them between his own hands. "You are such a good friend, angel. I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered back gently freeing her right hand and caressing his cheek.
The street along the coast wasn’t too crowded when the two angels finished their dinner and started to walk, Andrew wrapping Monica’s little shoulders and she encircling his waist. The cold air of the night brought the smell of the sea and some ships still crossed the dark waters. They walked in a comfortable silence for some minutes until they arrived to another dock and walked to the end of it. Feeling the cold air, Monica cuddled in Andrew’s warm embrace and closed her eyes. She had decided not to push the issue with him and let him talk whenever he was ready when she heard him start to talk. "I’m really worried, you know?"
She remained silent but pulled away a little to look at him. "For your assignment?" she finally asked.
He nodded, yet he didn’t meet her gaze. "William White is abusing her, Natalia Rosenberg, I’m pretty sure about it."
"So is her mother," she said quietly at the end understanding what she was doing in his assignment.
"Yesterday, before I left the Academy I hear him insulting her. he told her she was stupid." He met her dark, surprised eyes and understood what she was about to ask. "She doesn’t want to tell me. I tried to talk to her today at lunch, but when I was trying to make her talk, he came and took her away. Has her mother told you anything more?"
Monica sighed and shook her head. "Not really. Natalia’s parents don’t even know this boy."
"He’s not a boy!" Andrew said in surprise. "William White is the choreographer of the ABC!"
"Mary Ann thinks is one of her classmates!"
"Well, he isn’t. And what makes it worse is that I think this guy has threatened her, with her weight for example." He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his hair. "I feel I’m running out of time. I haven’t been told yet but I feel I have her life in my very hands."
Monica looked at him attentively. She had known him long enough to know that what he was showing her was just the third part of how worried he was. Whatever he had seen and listen must’ve been serious enough to upset him so much. He had his forearms over the banister, his sight lost in the distance. "I’ll help you," she murmured, "and we will help her, I promise." She closed her eyes and prayed for guidance to do so.
****
"Stop! Stop again!" William’s angry voice filled the studio next morning by the tenth time in the day. "Natalia, could you please remember it’s a triple turn not a double? How many times I’ll have to tell you?"
"I’m sorry," the girl murmured with almost a teary voice.
"You’re sorry! You should be sorry with your fellow students! They don’t have all your time!" He was clearly yelling at her and none else wanted to participate in the discussion. "Let’s go again." He waited until everybody was on their places. "One, two, three, rond brisé, one, two, three, turn! What the hell are you doing, Natalia?" he yelled. "Triple turn! You know how to make that ‘cause if you don’t, then you have nothing to do in this studio!"
"I-I’m sorry" she started to whimper.
"Hey, leave her alone!" Mike Jackson, Natalia’s partner tried to stop the choreographer’s scolding.
"You concentrate in your dance, Mike. I’m running this group, understood?" William answered angrily. "Let’s go again. To your places! Triple turn, Natalia! One, two, three, rond brisé, one, two, three, turn! Natalia!"
This time the girl couldn’t finish the turn because she collapsed, only avoiding the soil by Mike’s arms, who reached her just in time. "Natalia, are you ok?" he said helping her to take a seat.
"Now what?" said William coming closer to her.
"I don’t know what happened," she murmured weakly.
"Get out of here," the choreographer told her angrily.
"You can’t do this!" Mike snapped willing to defend his classmate.
"Get out, Natalia. Go take some air. Don’t come back until you feel perfectly fine" William’s words were more an order than the polite request he was pretending to give. Natalia stood up and left the studio quietly, all her classmates’ sights focused on her. "To your places again. Let’s start with the Benvolio and Romeo’s part," the choreographer ordered.
Natalia walked slowly through the desert corridor until she reached the stage door of the main theater. She walked towards the end of the stage and sit down wrapping her arms around her knees and burring her face between them. She never noticed Andrew walking behind her until she heard the muffled sound of his footsteps, yet she didn’t move. The angel took a seat besides her and offered her a handkerchief. "Are you ok?" he asked softly.
Natalia whipped her tears and tried to smile before she turned to face her teacher. "Yes, thank you. I’m just too tired and I couldn’t concentrate on the class."
"You sure? You look rather pale."
"I got sick in William’s class, but really it’s nothing. I’m just tired."
"Your father is a doctor, isn’t he? Why don’t you ask him to check you up?"
"Yeah, I’ll do," Natalia answered looking away.
"Ok," the angel said and tenderly tilted her face to make her see him again. "There’s much more than tiredness in your face. Please, tell me or I’ll call your mother."
"No!" she shouted. "Please, she doesn’t know anything!"
"Anything about what?"
"About me and William White," she murmured blushing deeply. "We’ve been dating for two years now," she continued after some seconds. "But I haven’t told my parents anything about it because he’s forbidden me to do so."
"Forbidden you?"
"He doesn’t want anybody knowing about us."
"Why?"
"He says it wouldn’t be good for either mine or his career, that it would sound he’s favoring me."
""You’re an excellent ballerina, Natalia, he wouldn’t be favoring you," the angel of death offered.
"Sometimes he makes me feel I’m not that good... and sometimes I think he’s right," she wasn’t crying anymore but her voice was deeply sad. "I used to enjoy ballet, you know? I never thought about how good I was until my teacher sent me here. I made the auditions, I went through the summer workshop and then I had my place in the academy and everything seemed fine. I even think I was happy then."
"That’s when you met William White," the blond angel stated to make her continue.
She nodded and kept on talking. "He worked with us for about three weeks during the workshop. God! I thought he was the best dancer I’ve ever seen. We performed a little part of The Swam’s Lake, and I was playing Odette. I remember he was teaching Mike how to play the prince and he looked at me with such a deep love in his eyes that I felt my heart had stopped beating. We continued with the class and at the end he asked me to see him in his office. He told me he was proud of the way I’d been dancing and he invited me to have dinner to celebrate what he said was a sure success. We went to Martin’s, the restaurant over the dock and after dinner we walked along the street. You may not believe it but I haven’t dated anyone before." She chuckled slightly remembering the next things she’d say. "I was so nervous when he held me that I could feel myself shaking. He held me for a long time, we talked a lot and at the end he told me he thought I was a very beautiful woman. You know what that meant to me? Not only was I holding a famous dancer, but also he was telling me I was pretty. I almost wanted to thank him for saying so, for making me feel so special when he leaned down and kissed me. That was our first date and I think it’s been the most beautiful night I’ve had."
"When did he ask you not to say anything about it?"
"Right the next day. After the class, he asked me to go to his office. He said it wouldn’t be good for me that every other teacher knew about us as they hadn’t made the last decision about the new members yet. It seemed logic and I accepted his conditions. I just wanted to keep on feeling special. But after some time he started to change. He wasn’t as tender as he used to, he yelled at me often, he got angry easily, he even started to criticize my job at the ballet."
"Why didn’t you break him up?" the blond angel had started to feel a boiling anger deep inside of him at finally knowing the truth of his suspicions.
"It’s not that simple It’s been two years, Andrew and things happened. Besides, every time I said I was tired of this, he made something cute and loving to ask for my forgiveness. He promised once and again things would be different... and I believed him. I still do." Natalia turned to see Andrew and the angel could read in her eyes the true deeps of her feelings. "I want to believe him. He’s made me feel things that I had never imagine I’d feel being with a man, and I’m not sure if I want to give them up."
"I don’t think you have to give them up. I just think he doesn’t love you as you think he does. If he loved you, he’d never treat you the way he does." She looked away once more and the angel of death saw the bright path of a tear crossing her cheek. "You said he made you feel beautiful and special and deserving to be loved, and, Natalia..." he cupped her cheek with a tender hand to force her to meet his gaze once more, "...you are beautiful and special and you certainly deserve to be loved. God made you so. Please, never, ever think other way."
The ballerina was speechless, but somehow she managed to whisper a teary "Ok." Andrew’s words had really touched her heart and she couldn’t help but feeling a knot forming in her stomach when her Drama teacher kissed her on the other cheek.
Chapter 4
It was noon after lunch a week later when Andrew arrived at the ABA. He was walking distractedly along the corridor when he saw William pushing Natalia towards his office. He couldn’t hear what they were saying as the choreographer’s words were silent recriminations. They got into the office but let the door open, so the blond angel cautiously approached it to try to listen.
"What do you think you’re doing, Natalia?" he began. "You’re ignoring me!"
"I’m tired of this, William. I want you to leave me alone!" Natalia’s words surprised Andrew but he was pleased to hear them.
"Tired of what?"
"Of you treating me like rubbish. I don’t deserve that!"
"Oh, you don’t, huh? Who’s been talking to you? Your new teacher, right?"
"Leave him out of this! It’s just me finally realizing you don’t love me!"
"But I do! I love you, you know that."
"That’s not love, William."
"Then what is it, huh? What was the first time I kissed you, the first time we..."
"I don’t know!" she interrupted him. "I don’t know what all these two years have been!"
Andrew couldn’t see them, but he could hear William’s muffled pacing. He was sure he didn’t expect this.
"I’ve helped you, Natalia. You’re so ungrateful. You don’t know how much you’re hurting me, honey."
The blond angel knew this was the critical part: if he managed to convince her, then what he had told her would mean nothing.
"Don’t try that this time, William. I’m not believing your lies this time."
"What lies can be when I tell you I love you and that I’d do anything to help you?" he was trying to be cute but he was failing miserably.
"I don’t need help. I can get all by myself!"
"You think so?" Andrew could clearly distinguish the sudden change in the tone of voice of the choreographer. "I want you to try to get the last of the roles if I don’t want you to."
"What?" Natalia’s voice was full of surprise and fear.
"I’m warning you, Natalia. I can destroy your career if I want and I will, if you keep doing this, saying you don’t want anything with me anymore!"
"Leave me alone!" she was fighting him and the blond angel supposed he was grabbing her by an arm to threaten her.
"I want you begging for my forgiveness! Saying you’re sorry!"
"I don’t want to see you again!"
"You’re mine, Natalia, and I’m not letting you go!"
"I’m not yours! I will never be again! You’re despicable!"
The sound of a slap and a soft cry made Andrew jump and it was all he needed to get into the office and help the ballerina. "Leave her alone!" he shouted grabbing the choreographer by the shirt and pulling him away of her. The angel turned to see if she was ok and William took advantage of this. All of a sudden, Andrew felt a fist connecting with his upper jaw and he almost lost balance. He felt something hot running from his nose, but William was already lifting him to hit him again and he would’ve done it if Natalia hasn’t gotten in the middle. Her cry and the noise made some other teachers and students go to the office to pull the angel and the choreographer apart.
"What are you doing, William?" Jonathan Michels asked as he stood between the two fighting men.
"He attacked me!" the choreographer yelled.
"No, he didn’t!" Natalia’s voice interrupted him. "You attacked him!" She was covering her nose to try to stop the bleeding.
"You leave her alone, William!" Andrew warned him. "Come on, Natalia, I’m gonna take you to the hospital." Natalia walked obediently.
"I’m gonna tear you apart, Andrew!" William shouted and was stopped by Mr. Michels from trying to hit the angel again. "You can be sure and you too, Natalia!"
****
The double door of the ER flung open as the chief of psychiatrics and her assistant ran into the guard immediately leading to the exam room where a doctor and a nurse were already working on Natalia.
"Oh, my God!" Mary Ann exclaimed when she saw her daughter still bleeding. "I didn’t want to believe this! Honey, what happened?"
"It was an accident, at the ABA," she managed to answer though her voice wasn’t clear.
Something told Monica to turn towards the next room and there she saw Tess taking care of an also injured Andrew. She left without being noticed, her worried eyes immediately focusing on his bruised face.
"Oh, Andrew! Are you ok?" she said taking the hand he had offered. She wanted to hold him as if it were what it would take to make him heal, but she restrained herself as she didn’t know how badly hurt he was.
"I’ll be fine," he said. "It’s just a bruise."
"It’s just that this time," Tess informed him finishing to clean the blood from his nose and pushing a little enough to make him complain. "But you will not be ‘magically’ cured this time, Mr. Halo. You’ll have to go through the normal process. That’ll teach you to be a little more careful."
"It was not my fault, Tess," he tried to argue. "William hit her, did you want me to stand there and just watch?"
The older angel was about to ask but Monica’s voice interrupted her. "William hit Natalia? I can’t believe this! Mary Ann has to know it!" She was about to leave when Andrew’s strong hand stopped her.
"Monica, no. Look," the blond angel pointed to the other room: Natalia and her mother were alone now and it seemed the girl was at last telling Mary Ann what had happened.
"What happened, Andrew?" the Irish angel asked.
"I saw him pushing her to his office. He told her she’s been ignoring him and she told him she didn’t want to see him again. He threatened her again and then I heard a cry and the sound of a slap. I got into the office and he hit me. When he was about to hit me again, Natalia got in the middle. Luckily some other teachers got there on time."
The three angels saw Mary Ann taking her daughter and walking to leave the exam room.
"I better go back to the academy," Andrew said at the end. "I think I should talk to Jonathan Michels before William can put everything in the way he wants them."
****
The Irish angel waited a long time before going back to her office. She knew Mary Ann would want time to talk to her daughter so she covered the rounds and check on any new admittance. When she finally went to the office, Natalia seemed to be much calmer though it was pretty obvious she’d cried.
"I’m sorry," Monica excused herself when she opened the door and both mother and daughter turned to see her. "I just need something from my desk and I’ll be gone."
"Oh, no, Monica, please you can stay. Look I want you to meet my daughter, Natalia. This is my new assistant , Monica."
"Hi," the little angel said shaking the ballerina’s hand.
"You know? Monica has a friend at the ABC, you may know him, honey," Mary Ann said wanting to find something to make her daughter talk to the angel.
"Oh, yeah? Who’s that friend of yours?"
"Andrew, your new Drama teacher..." Monica watched carefully at the girl’s reaction. Her mother didn’t notice but the angel could clearly see a light blush in her cheeks and a quick hint of surprise in her dark eyes.
"He’s the guy who defended you, right?" Mary Ann asked.
"Yes. One of my fellow students was pestering me and Andrew made him stop," Natalia explained to Monica, but the angel knew that was not the truth and that the girl was trying to justify herself without having to say she was dating the choreographer of the company. Monica met Mary Ann’s gaze briefly and she saw her chief had accepted her daughter’s story as a confirmation of her suspicions.
"He’s been so kind with me since he arrived," Natalia’s voice full of optimism interrupted Monica’s thoughts, "but I guess you must know that, right Monica?"
She managed to smile and say "yes, that’s who he is," but deep inside something was bothering her and it was not only the fact that Natalia was still lying to her mother after what had happened today.
"I hope I meet him soon so I can thank him for his help," the doctor said.
"I’m so sorry he got beaten because of me..." the ballerina offered and then remained silent for some moments.
‘You should be at least!’ the little angel thought feeling a knot of disgust on her stomach remembering the sight of Andrew bleeding, but none of the other woman noticed her upset face.
"I think I should go and tell him I’m sorry," the girl said not noticing Monica’s wide open eyes.
"But you said you were not coming back today," Mary Ann replied with a note of disappointment in her voice.
"Mom, you don’t want him to be considering me as a very rude person, do you? I’ll see you at night," she kissed her mother on the cheek before leaving. "Nice to meet you, Monica."
"Nice to meet you too." The angel looked at her chief once more, but she only shuddered her shoulders and sighed.
****
To his relief, Andrew had talked to Jonathan Michels as soon as he had come back to the academy. The teacher had told him they had had problems with William before and he would see his contract to be abrogated by the end of the year. The blond angel went back to his classroom. He had decided to take the rest of the afternoon to prepare his class before heading back to the hospital to invite Monica to have dinner.
"Andrew?" Natalia’s voice surprised him.
"Natalia, I thought you’d stay with your mother. Come in."
"I just wanted to say thank you. It was very kind from you to help me."
"I couldn’t have done different." The angel stood and circled his desk and took a seat on the corner near his student.
"I’m so sorry you got beaten. Does it hurt too much?" She came near him and touched his bruised jaw slightly.
"Don’t worry, it’ll be fine in a few days." He was feeling quite uncomfortable with this...
"You didn’t have to do this. But I’m glad you arrived on time." She hadn’t taken her hand back and Andrew was starting to suspect what she wanted.
"Natalia..."
"Please, don’t say anything," she asked and the angel was more than taken by surprise when he saw the ballerina taking his face between her hands, leaning over and kissing him on the lips.
He took her by the wrists immediately to free himself but what helped him more was the sound of a voice by the door that he recognized at the moment.
"Andrew!"
It was Monica.
******
Chapter 5
Not even caring of being rude, Andrew tighten his grip on Natalia’s wrists and stood up. "What are you doing, Natalia?" he shouted. "My interest on you has nothing to do with this!"
"I-I’m sorry" Natalia started to whimper. She had never imagine he would react in such a violent way. "I thought you..."
"Just...!" Andrew raised a hand to stop her and closed his eyes to avoid saying something else. "Just get out of here," he said in an angry voice before he left his office and ran to the door of the building. Once on the street, he saw Monica’s tiny figure walking as fast as she could. The angel of death ran to catch her and took her by an arm to force her to stop.
"Monica, this is not what you are thinking!" he said nervously, though he knew immediately that was not a good enough explanation.
She turned to face him, her dark eyes full of tears and anger. "What I’m thinking is that you were kissing her, Andrew! I saw it and you can’t deny it!"
"I know I can’t, but, baby, she kissed me. I never meant to..."
"It doesn’t matter to me! You betrayed our friendship! You betrayed yourself! You’re an angel! Why didn’t you tell me this was what was happening?"
Andrew cupped her face tenderly and tried to wipe away with his thumbs the tears that were now crossing freely her cheeks. "I’m so sorry, angel, but..."
The sound of a desperate horn and a car stopping abruptly interrupted him and made both angels turn towards the academy. A trembling cab driver was out of his car in the middle of the street, looking at someone lying on the pavement. "Natalia!" Andrew shouted and ran towards the girl, Monica following him closer.
"I- I didn’t hit her!" the driver stuttered. "She just fainted in front of me!"
"Monica, call 911!" Andrew asked and he saw the little angel running towards the building.
****
Ten minutes later, two paramedics ran into the Hillside ER room followed by two angels and a cab driver.
"Someone call Dr. Rosenberg!" a nurse shouted. "It’s his daughter!"
Andrew, Monica and the driver went to take a seat at the waiting room. "Oh, God, please help me!" they heard the man murmuring, his head buried between his hands. "Please, let her be ok!"
Andrew and Monica looked at him in silence. The Irish angel knew she should talk to him and reassure the man God was listening to his prayer, but her heart was too troubled to help him. Andrew read her expression easily and followed her with his gaze when she stood up and walked towards a window. After some minutes, he decided to try to talk to her again. "Monica..." he started.
"Please, Andrew, this is not the right time," she said coldly.
"Angel, please..."
"I think I’ll call Mary Ann. She must be here." The blond angel saw her walking away and knew he could only start to imagine how hurt she was.
A nurse at the reception desk informed Mary Ann that her husband was already with their daughter as soon as the psychologist arrived. Monica took a seat besides her, and the four of them waited for about half an hour until Richard Rosenberg and his assistant went to meet them.
"How is she?" Mary Ann stood up immediately and asked her husband.
"She has no contusions or broken bones; the car didn’t hit her."
"Thanks God!" the cab driver exclaimed before anyone else. "I told them I saw her crossing the street and a second later she fainted in front of me."
"I really thank you for coming here, sir," Richard offered with a polite tone, "but you can go now. Thanks for you help."
"Anytime" the man said shaking the doctor’s hand.
"If she wasn’t hit, then why was she unconscious?" Andrew asked as soon as the man was gone.
"I’m sorry, you are...?" Richard said looking at the angel.
"This is Andrew, Natalia’s Drama teacher" Tess answered.
"I see." Richard and Andrew shook hands. "We have a big problem with her, Mary Ann, her condition is quite critical."
"But you said she has no contusions..."
"But she fainted because she’s very sick." His next words were like a bucket of cold water for the angels and the mother. "She has leukemia."
"What? No way!" the psychologist started to cry and Monica wrapped an arm around her protectively.
"Are you sure?" Andrew asked not wanting to believe what he was listening.
"Yes, baby," Tess informed him. "The tests are clear. She has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia."
"This is all my fault!" Mary Ann yelled desperately. "I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t care, I...!"
Richard hugged his wife closely, trying to soothe her. "In that case, this is my fault. I’m an oncologist for God’s sake! How could I ignore the symptoms if they were written all over the wall? Excessive tiredness, changes of humor, losing weigh, strange bruises..."
"I’m sorry, Richard" Tess interrupted him, "but I think that blaming each other will not help your daughter. You’ll have to be strong and be there for her. This is not about what you should’ve done before; now it’s about what you’ll have to do in the future."
"You’re right, Tess, thank you" the doctor said. "Come on, honey, We’re moving her to my department so we can start with the treatment right now."
The three angels saw them walking to the elevators and not saying a word, Monica was about to follow them when her supervisor’s commanding voice stopped her. "Hold on there, Miss Wings. Where are you going?"
"I’m going with Mary Ann" the little angel tried to sound obvious so she didn’t have to hear what was coming next.
"You’re not going anywhere until you two tell me what’s going on between you."
"Tess..."
"Ah, ah, ah, no. Don’t even try that, Angel girl. I know you two very well and it’s obvious there’s something wrong."
Monica looked at Andrew in silence and fresh tears started to well up her dark eyes. "Please, Tess, not now. I can’t do it right now," she murmured before she practically ran towards the stairs.
"Baby..." Tess started to say but when she saw she was out of reach, she turned to face Andrew. "You will explain me this, Andrew. This is something serious, that much I can tell!"
He looked at the older angel with a defeated expression. "You’re right, this is serious. I hurt her today, in a way I never imagine I would and I don’t know what to say to make her see I didn’t mean to!"
"What happened?"
The angel of death sighed before he could answer and look at somewhere else but the supervisor’s face. "Natalia went to the academy in the afternoon to apologize for the fight. I told her it was no problem but she misunderstood my interest..." He met her dark eyes once more before adding, "She kissed me... right in the moment when Monica arrived to my office."
"What?!" Tess’ voice was a mix of anger and surprise. "Monica saw you kissing your assignment?"
"I never corresponded her, Tess! I know this is not what angels do!"
"It doesn’t matter that you know it, Mr. Halo! What matters now is that my angel baby is hurting and she’s alone and she has a job to do before anything else!"
"I never meant to hurt her, Tess, you have to believe me."
His pleading eyes did Tess and she knew he was hurting as much as Monica. "I know, baby, I know," she said hugging him, "but I think you’ll have a hard time trying to make her see it."
"But she will have to. There’s no other way for me, Tess. She’s my best friend and I care for what she thinks about me more then anyone else" he replied blinking to fight the tears that he felt threatening his eyes.
****
It was very late that night when Andrew arrived to the oncology waiting room. He searched for Monica but the little angel was nowhere around. He then walked towards Mary Ann, who was all alone seated on a couch still crying quietly. The angel took a seat besides her and smiled when she turned to face him.
"Hi," she said. "I though you were gone by now."
"No." He wanted to ask her about Monica but he thought she was worried enough with her daughter. He waited until she wiped her tears away to keep on talking. "How is Natalia?"
"Not too good but that’s obvious. She’s started with prednison and..."
"And?"
Mary Ann stood up with a jump that almost startled the blond angel. "And she doesn’t want to talk to me or her father! She blames us! She thinks we’re just looking for a way to take her out of the ABC!" Andrew looked at her in silence for some minutes, not knowing what else to say. "Maybe you could talk to her..." the psychologist said at the end.
The angel of death stood up doubting of what to say. "I- I don’t know if that would be a good idea right now..." He didn’t want to tell her what had happened before, and that maybe because of him, Natalia had been about to be run over.
"Please, Andrew, go and talk to her! She’s told me you’ve always been kind with her. I need to help my daughter and I don’t know what to do! I’m becoming desperate, please, Andrew, help me!"
"All right," the blond angel said sighing heavily. He didn’t want to see his student but the pleading tone of her mother’s voice made him remember he had an assignment in the first place.
"I’ll go and get some coffee while you go, ok? She’s in room 302."
The angel saw her walking away and then he headed to the door and knock at it softly before getting in. "Hi, Natalia," he offered and took a seat on a chair next her bed. "How are you feeling?"
"Please, go" she whispered turning to the other side.
"I want to help you. You need to talk."
"That’s not what you thought before."
"I’m sorry if I was rude..."
"Why are you here, Andrew?" she turned and looked at him through teary eyes. "Are you here just because you pity me?"
"No, I’m not. I want to help you."
"You didn’t want to back there at the ABA."
"I’m sorry..." the blond angel stuttered, "but in that way, I can’t..."
"Will you stay here until I fall asleep?" she pleaded taking his hand. Her tone and the change in the conversation surprised him but also made him felt quite guilty.
"Sure," he answered though he felt he would regret it.
"Will you come back tomorrow?" Natalia murmured while she drifted off to sleep.
*****
Chapter 6
Monica was standing on a balcony of the hospital and never noticed a tall handsome man that startled her by placing his strong hands over her shoulders. "What a nice surprise to find a beautiful angel here!" he said as a way of greeting.
"Adam!" she tried to sound as cheerful as she could though she had to wipe her tears away before turning to face him. "What are you doing here?"
"I’d say that the Father sent me here and now I guess I know why." The little angel looked away and Adam tilted her face carefully. "What’s wrong Monica?" As she remained silent, he asked: "It’s Andrew?"
She nodded and then whispered timidly: "It’s his assignment. She has a crush on him and I’m afraid..."
Adam chuckled before answering. "Come on, Monica, you know that it happens sometimes with assignments. Even you have had some experiences like that!"
"But I’ve never kissed them, and today I saw Andrew kissing his assignment."
"Monica, there must be a mistake," the older angel told her but made a mental note about looking for his partner and ask for an explanation. "Honey, you know angels can’t fall in love."
"I don’t know if he is..." she murmured. "I never thought I could feel disappointed on him." She started to cry and Adam hugged her.
"People you love can disappoint you sometimes, you know that. I promise I’ll talk to him, sweetie but please don’t cry." He remained there, hugging her until she calmed down.
Neither Adam nor Monica saw Mary Ann that had found them in her way to the cafeteria. She saw the two angels talking calmly and when she saw them hugging, she left them feeling she was interrupting something else...
***
Next day in the afternoon, Andrew walked down the corridor towards Natalia’s room, a feeling of unease very present in his heart. He hadn’t found Monica during the last night and he had had to go to the academy to give his class even if his original assignment was not there. The blond angel was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t see Adam until they met at Natalia’s door.
"About time, angel boy," the older angel said to his partner. "I was wondering if you were coming at all."
"Hey, Adam! What are you doing here?"
"No reason to lie: I was looking for you."
Andrew knew easily what his friend was saying. "You’ve seen Monica..." the green eyed angel said as an statement, not as a question.
"And I want to hear your version of the facts, pal."
"Not here." Andrew and Adam walked to a near waiting room that they found empty. "You know I never meant to hurt her. I love her, how could I ever want to make her suffer? This is a mistake that I don’t know how to mend!"
"She said she saw you kissing your assignment. Is she wrong?"
"No." Andrew buried his hands in his pants pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I never thought Natalia had a crush on me."
"But you came back today," the older angel pointed.
"I have no choice! This is my job!"
The older angel felt compassion for his friend’s pleading eyes and sighed heavily shaking his head. "And you have a job to do even if you don’t like it."
"But I want to make up things with her, Adam. I don’t want her to be so mad at me!"
"I’ll talk to her again, and you should do that too... Tonight, a lonely table in a nice place, candles, music..."
Andrew chuckled slightly even if his eyes still reflected worry. Yes, that was a great idea... "Thanks, I’ll follow your advice."
"Any time. Now go." Adam looked at his pocket watch before leaving. "I have someone in about five minutes. See you later."
***
A soft knock at her door woke Natalia up. "Come in," she said in a very low voice.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Andrew walked into the room with a vase with a single sunflower. "I thought you may like it."
"It’s beautiful, thank you."
"Your classmates send their greetings. Mike said he would come later." He took a seat near her bed.
"I- I don’t want to see anyone." Some tears started to prick her eyes and the angel felt somehow guilty, though he knew she shouldn’t isolate herself.
"They like you, Natalia. They are worried about you."
"I don’t want to see them. The only thing I’ll get from them is pity and I don’t want it."
"They are your friends..."
"I don’t have any friends! I don’t deserve to have friends!"
"What are you saying, girl? Of course you deserve to have friends." Andrew was trying to be as tender as he always was and wiped her tears away while he continued to speak in a very soothing way. "Why do you think so?"
"Because I’m being punished. I’ve done everything wrong and God is punishing me. I should’ve never become involved with William! I deserve what’s happening to me!"
"No, Natalia. This is not a punishment" he took a seat on the bed and hugged her.
"Then what is it? Tell me, Andrew. I’ve always spoiled things," she murmured through her sobs.
"You can get over leukemia," he continued stroking her hair. "It’s not a punishment, it’s just and illness not death itself."
"But I want to die!" The ballerina’s words made him shudder. "I don’t want to keep on living, I just want to stop suffering, I want to die!"
"Nonsense! Please, calm down. This can’t be good for you!" Feeling her relax, he helped her to lay down again. "Try to sleep and let the medicine to do its job. You’ll see in a few days you’ll feel better."
He stayed with her for a while until she was sound asleep, an unpleasant feeling of remorse growing up deep inside of him. His assignment had told him she considered her illness as a punishment from God and he had been unable to make her see the truth. He knew he had had a perfect chance to speak the Father’s truth to her and he had let it pass. He closed his eyes for some seconds and wished Monica had been there. She would’ve known what to say, he needed her more than any time before but he had hurt her and now needed to find the way to get her forgiveness. When he was sure Natalia wouldn’t wake up, Andrew left the room just to find Mary Ann outside.
"Is she asleep?" she asked walking towards the angel.
"Yeah."
"Andrew, can I talk to you in my office for a minute, please?"
Once they were there, Mary Ann invited him to take a seat and started to talk. "How did you see her?"
Andrew sighed heavily before answering. "I don’t know what to say. She’s really sad, depressed... she doesn’t want to see her classmates..."
"She’s isolating herself and that’s not good." Mary Ann met his green eyes and seeing him nod, she continued. "I need to ask you a favor."
"Sure."
"She really likes you, Andrew. I need you to keep on visiting her."
"Well... yes," he said shrugging his shoulders. "I had thought I would keep on coming."
"You don’t understand me. She likes you. You’re the only one she wants to see, you’re the only one she’s expecting to see!"
"Doctor, I..." the blond angel had a sudden feeling of fear: he could say where she was going.
"I want you to keep on visiting her! I want you to make your visits an illusion for my daughter!" the woman had stood up and was pacing all along her office.
"That’s not a good idea. She’s expecting something else from me that I can’t give her..."
"I know!" she was almost shouting.
"I can’t correspond her the way she wants me to!"
"I know, I know, I supposed so, and I wouldn’t be asking you this if I were not so desperate!"
"You’re asking me to lie at her!"
"I’m asking you to give her a reason to live! Please, Andrew!"
The sound of the door opening interrupted them and Mary Ann blinked to fight back her tears when she saw her assistant coming into the office, while Andrew felt his heart jumping at her sight.
"I’m sorry..." she excused herself. "I didn’t mean to interrupt you." She went to her desk barely looking at the blond angel and took her bag. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Mary Ann."
Andrew saw her leaving and he had to force himself to stay there and not running to reach her. "Mary Ann," he said as soon as the door was closed again, "I can’t love her as she wants me to."
"I’m not asking you to marry her!" the psychologist said with a trembling voice. "Just, please, keep on visiting her, making her feel she matters to someone else other than her father or me!"
He met her teary gaze and felt he was between the devil and the deep blue sea. After a minute of silence, he accepted. "Ok, but I will not promise her anything."
"Thank you!" she said taking his hand in hers. "Thank you."
The blond angel nodded and walked out of the office. As soon as he reached the main corridor, he ran towards the little angel he still could see at the end. "Monica!" he said grabbing her arm and feeling her shudder at his touch. "Monica, please, we need to talk!"
She had stopped walking and had closed her eyes when she felt him. "Andrew..."
He gently guided her to turn and face him, his green eyes bright with expectation. She opened her eyes and met his. He cupped her face tenderly and let his right hand brush her cheek. "I know what you saw yesterday, Monica, but please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kiss her."
"I know..." she murmured placing her hands over his. "I believe you, Andrew, I want to believe you."
"Baby, you don’t know how relieved I feel," he said touching her forehead with his and then kissing it.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, rested her head over his chest and added softly: "I want to believe you, but I’m still hurting so much... I close my eyes and I see you and her."
He held her closer feeling terribly defeated at knowing he had no way to erase that image from her mind. "I wish I could make you forget it, Monica," he whispered. "I’d give anything for it, but I can’t, baby. I’m sorry." He kept on holding her for a little more. "Please, tell me you’ll try to forget it"
"I’m sorry," she said starting to cry. "I can’t do it, Andrew, I can’t!" and before he could stop her, she ran away and disappeared on the long corridor.
Chapter 7
(Lyrics taken from ‘The Rose’ by Bette Midler and ‘The lady in red’ by Chris de Burgh)
It had been a week since the night Natalia arrived to the hospital and by now, all she was waiting for was the hour when Andrew would visit her, but for the angel... more than waiting for it, he was dreading that hour of the day. Every night he left the hospital feeling more desperate as another day had passed and he hadn’t seen Monica while he had spent the afternoon with a young girl whose eyes sparkled with every smile he gave her.
"You’re miles away" Natalia told him as he had remained silent for long minutes.
"Sorry" he said. "I was thinking about some things from the academy."
"Like what?"
"Like the ball next week, right Andrew?" Mary Ann’s voice interrupted him. The angel of death turned to see her and Tess, who had gotten in after Natalia’s mother.
"Hello, Andrew, long time no see," the old supervisor said as she changed the girl’s empty IV.
"Hi, Tess."
"What ball, mom?" Natalia asked.
"The annual ball from the ABC, honey! It’s next week and guess who’s the guest of honor this time? You!" Mary Ann wanted to jump when she saw her daughter smiling for the first time since they had found she had leukemia.
"Me? Are you sure? But how? Why?"
"Positive, baby. Mr. Jonathan Michels called me in the morning and told me so."
"But how am I supposed to go?" the ballerina said indicating her IV.
"It’s all up to you, baby," Tess assured her. "I heard your dad saying that you could be released as soon as tomorrow."
"See? There’s no reason for you not going to the ball, sweetheart," Mary Ann said. "Of course you’re invited too, Tess, and so is Monica. I’ll tell her tomorrow. Andrew, can I ask you a favor?"
"Sure."
"Could you escort the guest of honor to the ball that day?" she squeezed her daughter’s hand and smiled at her.
"I-I..." Andrew stuttered and he turned to see Tess, and he saw her nodding with a ‘you have no choice’ expression written on her face. "Ok," he managed to say, "I’d be honored."
Happy as she was, Natalia never noticed the tinge of deception in his voice. "Thanks, mom!" she said wrapping her arms around her neck, "I can’t wait for next week!"
****
Next morning, when Monica arrived to the office, she found Mary Ann and Tess already there. "Hello, baby," her supervisor said as soon as she saw her.
"Hi, Tess. Good morning, Mary Ann."
"Monica, I’m glad you arrived early. I’m not coming to work since tomorrow and I wanted to give you some instructions before I leave. I have a million things to do with the ball, you know?"
"What ball?" the little angel asked.
"This one," her chief explained handling her an envelope with her name on it. "You can go with whoever you want to."
"Thank you, Mary Ann. I’ll go."
"Great. Now, I leave you but I’ll be right back. I’m gonna see two or three doctors that are invited as well, Richard’s friends, you know?" she said walking towards the door. "By the way," she added before leaving, "your friend Andrew is going too. He’s escorting Natalia."
Monica blinked several times to control the tears she suddenly felt tingening in her eyes and then threw the invitation over her desk. Seeing this and knowing exactly what her angel girl was feeling, Tess came closer to her and hugged her. "Andrew is going with her?" the Irish angel asked.
"Baby, he had no choice."
"Why, Tess? He’s done things like this before but I’ve never felt so angry!" Her voice was a barely audible whisper through her crying. "I’m even doubting if he still loves me as he used to."
"Monica, you can’t doubt that!"
"Of course I’m doubting!" she said pulling away from her friend’s hug. "Things are so complicated now! It seems like he has to be with her more and more everyday!"
"Natalia’s wellbeing is Andrew’s priority right now, and not only his but ours as well. I know you’re angry and I know it bothers you to see him with her, but you have to trust him and trust the Father to lead you to do what you have to do..."
"But it’s so hard sometimes..." the little angel continued as she struggled to control her tears.
Tess remained silent for a second thinking on what to say, and then she asked, "baby, do you remember the song I sang for Andrew the day you first met?"
"In the wedding? ‘The Rose’?"
"Yeap... Do you remember what it says about love?"
"Hmm... ‘I say love, it is a flower and you its only seed’" Monica answered regaining herself.
"Yes," the dark skinned angel interrupted her. "But it also says: ‘Just remember in the winter/ far beneath the bitter snows,/ lies the seed that with the sun’s love/ in the spring becomes the rose.’ I sang it for him, but because you were there too. Don’t ask me why, but I knew since that moment that you two would come to have such a nice relationship. And I wasn’t wrong. Just remember what the song says, angel girl: no matter how long you feel the winter is, the spring will always come after it and the seed will become the rose. Your love and friendship is that seed, baby. Andrew loves you, just wait a little more. It will always be worth waiting."
Silent tears were still crossing the little angel’s cheeks while her supervisor talked, but a great peace washed her heart as she spoke. At the end, she closed her eyes and sighed before she met the older angel’s gaze. "I will, Tess," she said hugging her again. "Thank you."
****
Even after their conversation, Monica didn’t see Andrew the rest of the week. The little angel had to take care of all the patients and the paper work, and with Natalia out of the hospital, Andrew was not around all the afternoon, so the chances to see him were even smaller.
The night of the ball Andrew arrived at 6:30 sharp to Natalia’s house. The ballerina was ready with a nice black dress and high hills. The illusion of the ball had made wonders on her: her cheeks were pink again and her eyes reflected joy, none would’ve believed she had blood cancer just by seeing her that night.
Once they arrived to the academy, the angel of death took a seat a little behind his assignment while Richard and Mary Ann remained at the entrance, waiting for Monica and Tess to arrive.
"Hello, Dr. Rosenberg," the little angel was trying to sound cheerful, though it was pretty obvious she was sad. "This is Adam," she said introducing her friend to her temporary chief.
"Nice to meet you," Mary Ann shook the angel’s hand. "Andrew is already there with Natalia. Come on in, please." She walked them to their table. "I want you to share the table with us. Honey, look who’s here," she said talking to her daughter.
This time Natalia didn’t miss Andrew’s glance at Monica. She was wearing a tight red dress and the deep color of the fabric gave a special light to her pale skin and to her auburn hair.
"Take a seat," Mary Ann’s voice ordered and the blond angel busied himself in helping Monica with her chair as the psychologist indicated her to take a seat besides him. Neither Tess nor Adam missed the smile they shared at finally being together again.
Time passed in an awkward way as for his friends it was obvious that Andrew longed to talk to Monica and that he was doing everything to pay attention to the Rosenberg’s animated chatting. They ate a four courses meal and were already taking coffee and dessert when the music filled up the place.
The clear notes of a piano brought sudden memories for three angels at the table. ‘Some say love it is a river/ that drowns the tender reed’... Tess’ eyes met Andrew’s first and then Monica’s and she smiled as she saw her angel babies looking at each other. ‘Some say love, it is a razor/ that leaves your soul to bleed’... She nodded at the blond angel when he turned to look at her again, his green eyes full of joy, but Natalia’s voice made him turn.
"Earth to Andrew!" He hadn’t noticed she was talking to him.
"Huh?"
"Can we dance?"
The angel of death felt his illusion disappearing and stood up, murmuring a ‘sure’ before looking quickly at Monica, who had bent down her head to hide her sad eyes. ‘Some say love, it is a hunger/ an endless aching need’... Adam and Tess noticed it and exchanged a rapid glimpse.
"May I...?" Adam said offering his hand.
Monica took it and they joined the other couples at the dance floor. "Thank you, Adam" she murmured, her eyes bright with tears.
"There’s nothing to thank, sweetie."
They danced in silence, Adam following the expressions on Monica and Andrew’s faces. When the song finished both couples walked towards the table, but Jonathan Michels asked Natalia to dance with him while another man did the same with Monica. Andrew saw her walking back to the floor and buried his hands in his pockets.
"Natalia is so happy!" Mary Ann told him when he reached the table. "I don’t know how to thank you, Andrew!"
He smiled and took a seat besides Adam, who immediately noticed his friend’s eyes were fixed on the little angel. Both saw her dance with another man until Adam couldn’t stand it more and told his partner, "Go ask her, pal." Surprised, Andrew turned to see him. "Go. Trust me." The older angel stood up and went to ask for a special song. Andrew followed his council and walked towards her when music started again.
I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight,
I’ve never seen you shine so bright.
"Monica?" he said and she turned immediately. "May I have this dance?" She was speechless but somehow she managed a timid ‘yes’.
I’ve never seen so many men ask if you wanted to dance,
they’re looking for a little romance, given half a chance...
They glided onto the floor and slowly the blond angel took her in his arms.
And I have never seen that dress you’re wearing
or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes,
I have been blind.
The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek.
There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me.
It’s where I want to be.
But I hardly know this beauty by my side,
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight.
"You’re stunning" he murmured in her ear and felt her smiling. Andrew felt released and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, smelling her perfume.
I’ve never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight,
I’ve never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing.
I’ve never seen so many people want to be there by your side,
and when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away.
And I had never had such a feeling,
such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight.
The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek.
There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me.
It’s where I want to be.
But I hardly know this beauty by my side,
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight.
The lady in red, the lady in red,
the lady in red, my lady in red...
I love you.
They swayed together until the last notes of the music. Andrew bent his head and kissed her cheek again. "Andrew..." the little angel murmured.
"Let’s go outside. We need to talk," he suggested wrapping her tightly in his arms.
They left the ball room as a new song started, and only Tess and Adam noticed them going out. Andrew guided Monica to a clear on the garden where there was none but them. He stood behind her and ran his hands over her soft arms. She closed her eyes and he took her face gently to make her turn. Only then he realized tears were crossing her cheeks. "Baby?" he asked with a concerned tone of voice.
"I’m sorry," she said starting to whimper.
He pulled her to his chest trying to calm her. "Monica, please."
"I can’t help it. She’s in love with you, Andrew. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed!"
"She’s not. Besides you know I can’t love her!" he argued combing her hair with his fingers.
"But she doesn’t know. She’s pretty sure you do love her."
"Angel," he said pulling her away a little and cupping her face tenderly, "you know I can’t love her that way."
"I know!" she met his gaze through teary eyes. "Still I’m hurting and that’s because of you!"
"Why?"
It took her a second to regain herself and looked at his expecting eyes again, her voice now a barely audible whisper. "Because I can’t help to feel angry at her, at thinking we can’t be together as we used to... and I miss you."
Andrew didn’t let her continue as he held her tightly. "I miss you too, sweetheart. I miss your company, your advice, your support..." He buried his face in her silky hair. "We’ll make through this, Monica, I promise."
"I’m sorry, Andrew," she murmured. "I just miss our moments together."
While they were out, Natalia went back to their table with Mike, her classmate following her. Tess, Adam, Mary Ann and Richard were all talking animatedly, nonetheless the ballerina immediately noticed the younger angels’ absence.
"Where’s Andrew?"
"Hmm... He..." Tess suddenly found herself out of words.
"He might be dancing with someone..." Richard said turning on his chair and looking at the floor to look for the angel.
"I saw him walking towards the garden," Mike told them innocently.
"Oh, well, then I’ll go find him," Natalia said taking a glass of water with her. "Thanks, Mike."
Adam looked at Tess with almost scared eyes and saw his own expression mirrored on the dark skinned angel’s face. They saw her walking away but couldn’t find a good way to stop her.
Andrew and Monica were unaware of their friends’ dilemma as they were enjoying the first moment alone they had had in weeks. "After all this finishes, we’ll go to somewhere over the ocean you love so much, Monica, I promise."
Monica brought her hands to his face and murmured a ‘thank you’ before kissing him on the cheek and holding him close. He held her too until the sound of glass breaking over the floor made them quickly turn. "Natalia..." Andrew was the first to try to speak.
The ballerina was standing near them like frozen, her right hand covering her open mouth and she was shaking her head thinking she had seen something more between the angels.
****
Chapter 8
Richard and Mary Ann stood up quickly and quite scared when they saw their daughter running across the ballroom and towards the door. They tried to stop her and just then Adam and Tess saw Monica and Andrew getting in a hurry behind the ballerina. All the six finally gathered at the main entrance where Natalia was no where in sight.
"Baby, what happened?" Tess asked to a rather pale Monica.
"She saw us, Tess," Andrew started to explain.
"Saw what?" Mary Ann and Richard have also came near the angels.
Monica blushed deeply and looked away, unable to resist her boss’ sight. Andrew noticed this and took her hand reassuringly. "Natalia saw me holding Monica," he said slowly, already dreading the doctor’s response.
"Monica!" Mary Ann almost shouted to her assistant and then turned to see Adam. "But how? I thought you..."
"No," the older angel of death said understanding what she was thinking. "Monica and I are not dating... if that was what you were thinking."
"Andrew," Richard interrupted. "Are you and Monica...?"
"No, Richard, we are not" the blond angel said tightening his grip on the little angel’s hand.
"Then?!" the man shouted running a hand through his hair. "Why were you alone there? Why did you make my daughter think you cared about her?!" He faced the angel and everybody could see a barely repressed fury in his expression.
But before the angel could try an explanation, Mary Ann’s voice interrupted any argument. "This is all my fault! Oh, God, what have I done?"
"Mary Ann, what...?"
"I asked Andrew to do this, Richard!" She explained to her husband, a horrible feeling of guilt filling up her heart. "I asked him to keep on visiting her even when I knew she had a crush on him and he had warned me he couldn’t correspond her".
"Are you crazy, woman?!" Richard snapped at her wife.
"I needed to give her some illusion! She had lost hope, she wanted to die!" the woman started to cry and her husband wrapped an arm around her shoulders feeling somewhat guilty for shouting at her.
"A lie never ends well, baby" Tess admonished her looking at Andrew with a face of ‘we’ll discuss this later, Mr. Halo’.
"I know, but I was desperate..." she murmured, her face buried in her husband’s chest. "Is that so hard to understand?"
"No, Mary Ann, it isn’t" Monica’s secure voice made a contrast with her previous ashamed expression. "We all made mistakes. You, Andrew and me. But instead of blaming each other what we have to care for is Natalia."
"I’ll go ask if someone saw her leaving" Adam offered.
"I should’ve listened to you, Andrew," the psychologist continued. "Now, what am I going to tell my daughter?"
"The truth," Monica answered looking into Andrew’s green eyes. "We all have to tell her the truth... God will help us to."
A minute later, Adam came back and Mike, Jonathan and even William reached the group. "The man at the door says he saw her leaving and the guys of the valet parking say she crossed the street and headed towards Central Park," the angel informed.
"What’s going on?" Jonathan asked.
"Natalia left the theater and we don’t know where she is," Richard said. "We have to find her."
"We’ll help," William offered with a convincing worried tone even if Andrew was watching him in distrust.
Once they had decided to go to different places, the four angels headed towards Tess’ Cadillac. The supervisor and Adam were going to the lake in Central Park while Andrew and Monica had decided to go to the south part, but a "not so fast, Mr. Halo," made them stop. "I think we have some points to make clear, angel boy," Tess added. "I don’t want to believe you really told her you were falling in love."
"Of course I didn’t, Tess! I can’t lie, remember? Mary Ann asked me to keep on visiting her. At that moment I couldn’t see another way to be near my ‘assignment’ and I accepted, that was my mistake! I never promised her anything, there’s no way I could do that!"
His pleading eyes and the fervor in his voice moved the old angel, who knew her angel boy was telling nothing but the truth. "I know, baby," she said hugging him. "I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you. Now let’s move. Only God knows where that girl is and what she’s thinking right now." They got into the car and the supervisor took the street. "I’ll drop you on 65th street and we’ll meet at the cross with the 5th Avenue in an hour, ok?"
****
Monica and Andrew saw the red car going away and the blond angel sighed in concern. "Ok, why don’t you go to West drive and I’ll go towards the lake. It’s not too late and I hope she’s not too far if she’s here."
Monica saw him walking away and sighed feeling somewhat guilty for the worry in his eyes. "I’m sorry, Father," she murmured looking at the sky. "I’ve been selfish and I didn’t help him the way Tess told me I had to. Please, let me help him now, let us find Natalia."
The little angel walked and walked around the park but couldn’t find the ballerina. She kept on praying, longing to hear the Father’s voice telling her where to go. Almost one hour later she reached the Lehman gates where Andrew had told her to meet him and waited a couple of minutes for him. She saw him walking towards her, sweating after the long walk. "Anything?" she asked him.
"No, nothing," he sighed heavily. "God, I wish I knew where to go!"
Suddenly he felt her soft hand in his and he turned to find her eyes fixed on his face. "Andrew, I’m sorry. I made this time so hard for you."
Her slightly trembling voice did him and he didn’t waste a minute in holding her tightly. "This is not your fault, Monica. I should’ve told you..."
"I didn’t give you much of a chance... I’ve always told you I trusted you and it didn’t seem like I do this time... I was jealous," she added after some moments.
He chuckled quietly at her childlike tone. "You know you have no reason to be jealous," he pulled apart and pinched her nose tenderly.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes bright with joy. "I know it now," she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too," he said holding her tightly.
They stayed there for some minutes. Finally, never releasing her hold, Monica murmured, "Tess and Adam should be here already."
"You read my mind" Andrew added. He checked his watch and he saw it was 15 minutes passed the hour they had said they would’ve been meeting there. "It’s strange."
"Yeah..." Monica turned around looking for their friends.
A feeling of unease started in Andrew’s heart but he forced himself to think it was because there were less and less people on the street. He reached for Monica’s hand not wanting her to be far from him, but this didn’t bring peace to his heart.
As the minutes passed he felt even more anxious and when he heard the siren of an ambulance, he tightened his grip on Monica’s hand. "Oh no, Father, please!" he murmured.
"Andrew?" Monica asked in concern. "What’s going on?"
They saw the ambulance passing along the 5th Avenue and he said in a hurry: "We need to go."
****
Monica and Andrew spotted the red Cadillac on the parking lot and hurried into the hospital. When they reached the ER ward, they saw Tess hugging a crying Mary Ann. Both angels froze at the sight, Andrew knowing what had happened and Monica foreboding it. Adam approached them as soon as he saw them and read the fear in his partner’s face.
"Adam?" Monica was the first to speak. "What happened? Is it Natalia?"
"Yes, baby girl," he answered quietly and then looked at Andrew. "Her mother found her in her bathroom. She... tried to commit suicide."
****
Chapter 9
"I have to go now," Andrew told Monica and Adam after a few seconds of silence. Monica released his hand and saw him walking towards the corridor soon taking his angelic form.
****
Andrew looked at the doctors working frantically, ordering an immediate transfusion of blood and fluids. The cheeks that hours before were rosy looked now drained of all color, and among the voices, the angel could easily identify Richard’s strong one. He took a deep breath and go closer to the girl, leaning down to talk into her ear. "Natalia, I need you to pay attention to me, please."
A second later, Natalia was standing besides Andrew. The angel smiled at her, a trace of sadness evident in his eyes. "But what?" the ballerina asked confused. Andrew indicated her to turn around and then she saw the doctors working on what she could recognize as her own body.
"This is what’s happening right now, Natalia. This is the consequence of your actions."
"And what do you care about it?! I’m worthy for nobody! Nobody cares about me!" she shouted angrily.
"I do care, Natalia, and so do many people around you, but especially God cares. He doesn’t want you to die," the angel said trying to show her the truth.
"But I do want to die!" she cried. "I do, I don’t want to live anymore! Please, Andrew, I want to die!"
"Not today," he said as he disappeared.
The next thing Natalia knew was that she was regaining consciousness, trying to focus her blurry vision on the faces of the nurses that were around her.
****
Two hours later Monica saw Andrew walking back to the waiting room and she immediately stood up from the couch where she was seated besides her supervisor and her temporary chief.
"What happened?" she asked to the angel of death. "Did she...?"
"No," he answered. "Not this time."
Monica sighed in relief and then they heard Mary Ann’s voice addressing to her husband. "Richard, what happened?"
"She’ll live..." he said holding his wife and looking at the three angels that were there too. "She lost a lot of blood but I think we find her just in time. Some minutes more and she wouldn’t have made it."
"Thanks God!" Tess replied.
"Yeah... Still she’s not out of danger. Because of the lost of blood she’s extremely weak and she won’t be able to continue with her treatment for the leukemia."
"But if she doesn’t, she won’t have the chance to recover!" Monica reasoned.
"That’s right," the doctor said. "We’re running out of options here, there’s just one left but it’s the most risky one."
"What is it?" Andrew asked.
"She needs to get a bone marrow transplant as soon as possible. With the kind of leukemia she has, the lymphoblasts number will increase as her body tries to produce the blood she lost. The transfusions will help her and stop this for a few days, but if she doesn’t get the transplant, her condition will be worse in a matter of days, nothing more..."
"She has to be on the list," Mary Ann said referring to the list of transplants.
"She’s already," Richard explained. "But we have to get the closest match we can find so the chances of a reject will be smaller. Otherwise she’s too weak to fight a reaction..."
"We have to be tested, Richard. Maybe one of us would be the best match."
"We’ll be of course, but we have to find more options if possible. her friends, her classmates, whoever it is."
"I’ll talk to Jonathan Michels," Andrew offered. "We can ask all the people at the ABC to come and get tested."
"Thanks, Andrew," the doctor said. "And can I ask the two of you another favor?"
"Sure."
"Could you be tested now?"
Andrew turned to look at Monica knowing she was afraid of needles. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. "Of course," he answered for the two.
"Thank you! Please, come with me, you too, Mary Ann, we don’t have much time."
****
Andrew wrapped his arm protectively around Monica’s shoulder as soon as they left the little room where the samples were taken. "You’ve earned a big moka latte, angel girl," he said and smiled when he listened the giggle he was looking for. "You were brave there."
She bent her left arm to hold the piece of cotton she had and circled his waist with the other. "I was because you were there with me." She looked at him with such bright eyes that the blond angel couldn’t help but bend down and kiss her on the cheek.
"Hmm... That was a good prize but I still want the moka," the little angel teased him.
Andrew rolled his eyes and held her closer. "Ok, ok, let’s go for it."
They walked down the corridor and arrived to the oncology front desk just in time to see William getting into Natalia’s room. "What is he doing here?" Andrew said and he was ready to go after him but Monica stopped him.
"No, Andrew, wait. Let’s find Richard or Mary Ann instead."
William didn’t even care of knocking at the door of the ballerina’s room. She was sleeping and the only sound was the constant beep of her heart monitor. The choreographer walked to the bed, took a seat on it and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. Feeling him doing this, the girl woke up.
"What are you doing here?" she said with a harsh voice.
"Shh... I wanted to see you," William said in a tender tone. "You scared me, baby."
"Don’t call me like that, please." Natalia felt too weak to try to argue about something she had wanted to be over.
"Why, sweetheart? Why did you do this? Didn’t you think I’d die too if you died?"
"William, please, leave me alone," she said trying to get rid of the hand that was stroking her face.
"I love you, Natalia. You’ve hurt me so much but I forgive you. All I want is things just as they were before."
"N-no..."
"I’m gonna show you how much I love you, baby," he said and taking advantage of her weakness, he held her hand tightly and leaned down to kiss her.
But at that exact moment Mary Ann opened the door and saw them. "Natalia!" she shouted making William jump and stand up quickly. "But how do you dare...?" she asked the choreographer. "And you?" she turned to her daughter. "Get out of here!" she ordered to the dancer with a clear note of fury in her voice. She waited until the door was closed. "I’m so disappointed on you, Natalia!" she started to say. "All this because you saw Andrew with another woman and the first thing you do is kiss another guy. And he’s your teacher for God’s sake! How could you do that?"
"Don’t you dare to judge me, mother!" the girl shouted through her tears, her previous weakness now forgotten. "You have no right! This is my life and I’m the one who decides what to do with it! You’ve made decisions for me long enough now, like study ballet and go to the ABC, but no more!"
"And what you’ve decided is to finish it over?"
"Yes!" her answer let her mother frozen. "And if you don’t like it, then start asking yourself what you saved me for!"
Mary Ann found herself out of words and left the room in silence, not wanting to believe what her daughter had said. She walked to the waiting room where Andrew, Monica and Tess were expecting her. "I can’t believe it!" she said as soon as she joined them. "They were kissing when I arrived there!"
"Who?" Richard asked arriving at that moment.
"Natalia and William White!" his wife explained.
"No way!"
"The mysterious boyfriend was not a fellow classmate as you thought, Mary Ann," Monica remarked. "That’s why she didn’t tell you about him."
"You mean that they had been together for a long time?" the man asked.
"Yes," Andrew explained. "In fact, it was him who I fought with the other day. He... hum... he hit her before I got into his office."
Mary Ann brought her hand to her mouth and Richard ran an exasperated hand over his hair. "Oh God! How could we be so blind?"
"They hide it very well," the angel of death said in an effort to make them felt less guilty. "I found out accidentally and to be honest, I pushed Natalia until she told me the truth."
"And why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell Monica or Tess?"
"She made me promise I wouldn’t. I wanted her to trust me first, so..." he shook his head before he continued. "She had broken him up the day we fought. I saw him pushing her into his office so I followed them and that’s why I was so close when he hit her."
"I’m gonna suit this big idiot!" Richard shouted.
"You don’t have a way to prove it," Mary Ann replied.
"Natalia can testify!"
"She won’t. She’s just shouted at me and asked me not to take any more decisions for her. She insists she wants to die."
"God, help us find a way!" the doctor exclaimed.
"You know? That’s a good start," Monica said squeezing his forearm encouragingly. "Ask God to help you, to help all of us." The doctor looked directly at her eyes and felt the peace his wife had felt days before. He nodded in silence and all of them remained in silence for some minutes before Mary Ann remembered something.
"By the way, Richard, were you coming to tell us something special?"
"Oh, yes... I guess all this surprised me so much I forgot... And I don’t know how I could!"
"What is it?"
"We found a perfect match for the transplant."
"Really?" Mary Ann exclaimed.
"Who?" Andrew asked simultaneously.
"You won’t believe this," the doctor said. "But it’s you, Monica."
****
Chapter 10
Lying alone with nothing but a paper gown and a blanket covering her, for the first time Monica asked mentally why it has to be her the donor for Natalia. The little angel closed her eyes while she waited for the nurses and the doctor that will run some tests on her. After Richard had said she was a perfect match, she had felt the eyes of the four fixed on her. She had wanted to say no, that one thing was to give a sample of blood and another completely different to have her blood filtered during five days and to be under anesthesia and have her hips punctured to collect two quarts of blood and marrow bone! But she had looked at Tess and her supervisor’s eyes had told her all she needed: she being the donor was part of God’s plan, no doubts.
A couple of minutes later, Tess and Andrew got in the exam room. The blond angel quickly took a seat beside her and she sit up to hold him. "I’m scared" she murmured looking at her supervisor with the sight of a lost puppy. Andrew tightened his hold and ran a hand over her hair.
"I know, baby," Tess said, "but everything will be alright. You know the Father wouldn’t have done something like this if He didn’t have a perfect plan behind."
"I keep telling myself that, Tess," she said, her brown eyes full of tears. "But I don’t like what’s lying ahead for the next days."
"We will be with you all the time, angel girl," the old supervisor told her patting her hand lovingly.
"And all the time means all the time," Andrew added kissing her forehead tenderly. "Even during the marrow harvest... I think this time is well allowed to take advantage of being an angel." He smiled in relief when he saw a tiny sparkle of hope in her eyes.
A knock in the door interrupted them and Richard an another nurse got in. "I’m sorry for keeping you waiting Monica but we are ready now. It’s just some more tests, and if everything is alright, we can start with the dialysis tomorrow morning."
"Ok," she managed to whisper.
"I’ll be back when you’re done, ok?" Andrew said kissing her temple again and then leaving the room.
****
Mary Ann sighed heavily before opening the door of her daughter’s room.
"I thought I had told you to leave me alone," the girl said coldly when she saw her mother getting in.
"I’m not here to fight, ok? I’m here to give you wonderful news."
"What?"
"We’ve found a donor, honey! You’ll get the transplant!"
Her mother’s enthusiasm was reflected in her eyes for some seconds. "Really?"
"Yes, baby, yes," Mary Ann went to hold her daughter as if she was again her little baby. "Thanks God we found her."
"Who is it?"
"You won’t believe this. It’s Monica!"
"What?!"
The sudden change in her daughter’s voice surprised the psychologist. "What’s wrong?"
"You mean Monica, your assistant?" the ballerina said freeing herself from her mother’s hug.
"Yes... Imagine that!"
"I don’t want anything that may come form her!!!"
"Honey, what are you saying? This may be your only chance..."
"Then I rather prefer to die!!"
"Natalia..."
"Don’t you get it? She’s the only reason for me being here! If Andrew wasn’t in love with her, he would love me!"
"Honey, that’s not true! They are just friends!"
"I don’t believe that!" she yelled. "I won’t get the transplant if she’s the donor!"
"You are getting that transplant either you want it or not!" Mary Ann shouted back. "Take it willingly or I’ll sign a paper saying you have mental problems and you can’t decide by yourself!"
"You wouldn’t! You could loose your license!"
"I don’t care as long as I don’t loose my daughter! End of the discussion!" Mary Ann said and left the room. When she was at the corridor, she leaned over the wall and covered her face with her hands to muffle her crying.
"Are you ok, Mary Ann?" Andrew asked coming closer to her. "I saw you..."
"No, I’m not ok!" she said and held Andrew, clutching his shirt desperately. "I don’t know what to do with my daughter! She doesn’t want the transplant if Monica is the donor!"
The angel of death rubbed her back soothingly and let her cry for a minute before he suggested, "Why don’t you let me talk to her? I’ll try to make her see."
"Please, Andrew, help me. You heard Richard. If she doesn’t get it, she may die!"
"I’ll go, Mary Ann, calm down." She nodded silently and saw him getting into the room. Weakly she walked towards the waiting room and took a seat on a couch, her head buried in her hands, praying for him to find the words to convince her daughter.
****
When Andrew got into the room, the first thing he noticed was that Natalia was crying. He walked silently to her bed and took a seat there, trying to force her to look at him. "You should be happy, not crying," he offered.
"Had she not been here, would you have fallen in love with me, Andrew?" she asked through her tears, her brown eyes with a pleading expression that made him stutter.
"I thought this was already clear," the angel said not without a note of discomfort. "I told you I couldn’t correspond you that way, Natalia."
"What does she have that I don’t have?"
"It has nothing to do with Monica..."
"Please, tell me!" she said flinging to his arms and wrapping her hands around his neck without paying attention to the IV and the blood bag attached to her arm. "What do I have to do...?" She tried to kiss him but he pulled away.
"Natalia, don’t you see it?" Andrew took her arms away from his neck and pushed her to her pillow again. "I can’t love you that way!"
"Because of Monica" she stated bitterly.
"Because of me!" He had stood up and decided distance was safer for him. "I thought you had understood when I took you to see what was happening in the OR when you first arrived here yesterday night."
"How do you know...?" she asked in surprise.
"I just know," he said. "Don’t you get it? You’ve got a second chance to live! You’ve got a perfect donor, something many people never get!"
"But I don’t have you! You will love her more for her heroic action! I don’t want your pity nor see you admire her more! I don’t care how you knew about my dream! Go to her, go tell her she doesn’t have to play the heroine to have you drooling for her!" She was yelling and Andrew knew she wouldn’t hear anything he could say, much on the contrary, he would finish loosing his temper as he was already dreading.
Andrew sighed heavily and turned to leave the room. He walked to the waiting room with a clear expression of defeat on his face. He found Mary Ann there with Mike, who had come to visit his fellow mate. "Hi, Mike," the blond angel said.
"What happened?" the woman asked anxiously. She saw the angel shaking his head and taking a seat in front of them.
"I’m sorry," he said joining his hands in front of his face. "I think this was a bad idea."
"She blames Monica for what she thinks she has lost, she won’t accept her as her donor."
"Who’s Monica?" Mike asked.
"A friend of Andrew," Mary Ann explained. "Natalia thinks they are dating and ironically she’s the perfect match for the transplant."
"I feel responsible for this," the angel confessed. "I keep on asking myself what I could have done different and I think about a million things and about nothing at the same time."
"No, Andrew, it’s not your fault. I insist it would be mine, but I never knew about Natalia’s relationship with William."
"Do you think I could visit her?" Mike asked somehow timidly.
"I can’t promise she’ll be happy to see you..." Mary Ann warned him.
"Don’t worry," the boy said taking her hand and squeezing it. "I want to try."
Mary Ann and Andrew saw him walking away. "I will go have a walk," the angel said when they were alone. "I need to think, I guess. Could you please tell Monica if she comes?"
"Sure, Andrew. I think I need to make up my mind too."
****
Mike knocked at the door and waited to get an answer. Nothing. He tried again and something inside told him to open the door. He would never forget what he saw: Natalia was lying on the floor, unconscious, in the middle of a puddle of blood and serum. He ran to her and tried to wake her up. He searched her wrists and saw her bandages were in place; the blood was coming from the bag she had detached from her arm. Then he saw something not too far that gave him all the answers: a little bottle with only two pills left. He had seen those before, almost in every bag of his female classmates at the ABA. Amphetamines. Used by the ballerinas to suppress their hunger and have more energy. He stood up, ran to the door and shouted for help...
****
Tess had stayed with Monica during the tests that had included an electrocardiogram and an ultrasound of her kidneys and her liver. The Irish angel felt like a lab rat as she already knew that if God had made her the perfect match, all these tests weren’t necessary. Yet she had let them smear her stomach with the cold gel to get some blurry white and gray images that Richard had interpreted as good news. When they finally ended with all that, she only wanted to get dressed and get out of the hospital for at least that night. Tess had helped her get cleaned and dressed when Richard and the other nurse had been gone, and now the two angels were walking together towards the Oncology ward to find Andrew and Mary Ann.
But they weren’t expecting what they saw... They had almost been run over by a nurse taking a trolley full of packages and medical supplies to Natalia’s room. The door was open and they got closer. A heart monitor showed irregular lines up and down, one doctor was inserting a tube in the girl’s throat while a nurse got ready a mix of black active charcoal. Another nurse had taken some blood samples and then ran out of the room. They could only understand half of the yelling, medical orders shouted from a doctor to a nurse and vice versa...
In a corner they saw a crying Mary Ann held by a rather pale Mike. Monica was about to go near them when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. Standing at her side, in an impeccable white suit was Andrew. It was obvious for her that this was a much harder assignment than many others she had been with him. His sad green eyes spoke volumes to her about how troubled his heart was. She turned to see Tess and her expression confirmed what she wanted to be an illusion: none but they could see him, he was there ready to do his job and if it was the case, this would not be a happy journey. The little angel took his hand and locked her gaze with his, her gesture trying to tell him what she couldn’t put in words. Still, she felt her heart beating frantically when he squeezed her hand and then let it go, and she saw him reaching for Natalia’s hand just in the moment when her heart monitor showed a flat line.
****
Chapter 11
When Natalia opened her eyes, she didn’t know where she was. Everything was dark and just a light over her illuminated a small circle around. She turned everywhere and saw nothing...
"Don’t you know where you are, Natalia?" Andrew asked coming closer. "Don’t you remember this place?"
Natalia looked at him in awe. "Where are we?"
"Don’t you remember that when you were a little girl, there was no other place where you wanted to be one day? Have you forgotten the day you first danced here?"
As he talked, Natalia’s eyes had gotten accustomed to the light and she could see the place: the main stage of the New York State Theater.
"How...?" she asked. "How do you know...?"
"I thought you had understood the last time," he said coming closer. He was dressed in a white suit and so Natalia knew.
"You’re an angel?" He nodded. "Why? Why are you here?"
"I’m the angel of death."
"Am I dead?"
"Not yet. But if you’ll live or not depends on you, on your willing to live."
"I don’t have it, isn’t it obvious?" she replied sarcastically.
"You can keep your sarcasm away. Your future is to be decided right here, right now. This is the place where you decided you wanted to be a ballerina. You were seven years old and you started to work for this dream since then. Have you forgotten that day before Christmas when you played Clara in The Nutcracker? Twelve years, Natalia, and you got the role that any ballerina would want to get as a teenager. Ballet has been your life since then, so don’t blame your mother for your mistakes."
"But I don’t love it anymore, don’t you get it?! My life has no meaning at all! I’m not even worth enough for someone to love me..." she was crying softly and her voice remained somehow calm but with a clear note of sadness.
"Everyone is worth to be loved, Natalia, and you are loved," Monica’s voice surprised them both. Andrew saw her and smiled thankfully. She walked to his side and took his hand reassuringly. "Your parents love you, and other than God’s, that’s the most complete and utter love you’ll find."
"Then is it bad to want to find a man that loves me? Is that what you want to tell me?" This time it was not sadness but anger what was in her voice.
Andrew was about to answer but Monica spoke first. "The love of a man is just a proof of how wonderful His love can be," she said looking at Andrew, "but so are many other things, like the love of your parents or the success in your career. Your talent in ballet is a gift from the Father, a very special one."
The ballerina kept on swiping her tears that now ran freely through her cheeks. "I feel lonely sometimes. I thought William loved me and that belief brought happiness to my life, but now..."
"Do you know the song ‘The Rose’?" the Irish angel asked.
"Yes, why?"
"Do you remember what it says at the end?" Natalia shook her head and then the angel continued. " When the night has been too lonely/ and the road has been too long/ and you feel that love is only/ for the lucky and the strong/ just remember in the winter/ far beneath the bitter snows/ lies the seed that with the sun’s love/ in the spring becomes the rose... Wait, Natalia, wait. Winter may seem long but it doesn’t last forever, and if these last months have been winter for you, the sun’s love will come soon, warm and full of surprises. The seed is there and it’s not dead yet..."
Natalia couldn’t stand it more and felt to her knees, sobs making her tremble. When she rose her head to look at the angels, they were gone. She was all alone, she had to decide right there, right at that moment...
****
Tess saw her angel babies walking hand in hand to where she, Mary Ann and Mike were waiting. "What happened?" the supervisor asked.
"It’s all up to her, Tess," Andrew replied.
"Any notice yet?" Monica asked then.
"No, not yet."
They remained in silence for long minutes, looking at Mary Ann and Mike. Richard joined them soon with no different news: Natalia was unconscious and they couldn’t do anything but wait. What none was expecting was that William went back to the hospital.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Mike, the first to see him made the others to be aware of his presence. Andrew and Richard almost had to run to stop the boy to hit the choreographer.
"I wanted to know about Natalia," he tried to explain.
"She’s almost dead because of you! Because you give the ballerinas the amphetamines they use so they don’t have to eat! You push them to lose weight without control! All this is your fault!"
"You, big b..." Richard was about to shout when another voice interrupted him.
"Mike, will you repeat what you’ve just said ?" It was Jonathan Michels.
"Of course I will!" the boy said looking defiantly at William.
"And if you need a medical opinion, I will be glad to testify!" Richard offered. "I wanted to know how my daughter could possibly get those pills and I guess I’ve just found out. Tess, please call security!"
William tried to run at hearing this but a guard coming to the hall at that exact moment stopped him.
"William White, you’ll have to face a legal suit for abuse in your functions as a teacher at the ABC..." Jonathan said. "Dr. Harris, Ms. Harris, the ABC is very sorry for this. Please, believe me, had we known before, we would’ve stopped this. It will never happen again."
Mary Ann had said nothing and was crying quietly. "We know, Mr. Michels. We really appreciate your concern."
Jonathan excused himself and went with the guard to wait for the police to come. Just then Andrew released his hold on Mike’s arms. "Calm down, Mike," the angel said.
The boy’s words had been like a bucket of cold water for all: William White, the famous choreographer and dancer forced the ballerinas to do drugs and to starve to death, something too dirty to imagine when thought about the glamorous American ballet company...
None broke the silence until a nurse ran to the waiting room. "Dr. Harris, you’ve gotta come!" the woman said almost breathlessly. "It’s your daughter!"
****
Epilogue
Richard and Mary Ann were the first to arrive to Natalia’s room after the nurse called them. The ballerina was waking up, her dark eyes open and scared as she couldn’t talk with the tube in her throat. "Wait, honey," her father told her, "I’ll take this out, ok?"
The three angels looked from the door while Richard took the machine away from her daughter. She coughed a little and her mother gave her some water. "I’m sorry, mom" the girl murmured with a hoarse voice. "I’m sorry, dad."
"We know everything, baby," Mary Ann said. "We’ll help you go through all this, but please, you have to accept the transplant..."
"I will," she said and looked at the door, where the three angels were waiting. "Two angels convinced me that I have to." Andrew, Monica and Tess smiled at hearing her.
"Angels?" Mary Ann asked surprised.
"Whoever they were, God bless them!" Richard said.
"Come on, babies," Tess told the younger angels. "Let’s leave them alone." They walked along the corridor and then the older angel suggested, "Andrew, don’t you think someone here deserves a big moka latte?"
The blond angel hold Monica closer to him. "Oh, yes, Tess, she really deserves it!"
****
The following days passed like a dream for Monica and Natalia, though they didn’t talk to each other. The ballerina had had to take a higher dose of chemotherapy so her bone marrow was destroyed, while Monica had to get a dialysis everyday to be ready for the mother cells collect. Andrew stayed by her side during all the procedures, carefully stroking her swollen little hand where she got the catheters.
And there was someone else waiting for the transplant day to come. The afternoon before, Mike knocked at the door of his classmate’s room, carefully using the gloves and the mouth cover the doctor instructed him to wear as Natalia’s immunity was low because of the chemotherapy.
"Mike" the girl greeted him. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you, and to wish you the best luck for tomorrow, from me and from everyone at the ABA."
She reached for his hand. "Thank you."
Mike took a seat over the bed and gently kissed her hand. "I’m so happy you’re doing this..."
Natalia looked at him questioningly. "What?"
"Taking the transplant..." The boy took a deep breath before continuing. "I want to have time."
"Time for what?"
"Time for showing you how much I care about you." Natalia opened her mouth in surprise but she couldn’t say a word. Mike smiled sheepishly. "I do, Natalia, I care a lot about you and I want to be able to show you how much. You don’t know what was for me to find you lying unconscious... I prayed so hard for you to live... And now I won’t miss the chance I’ve gotten." He took her hand to his lips again and then stroked gently her cheek. "You don’t have to do anything but allow me to show you, all right?"
A single tear crossed Natalia’s cheek though she was smiling. "Thank you, Mike," she murmured.
"You don’t have to thank me anything, baby. I’d do anything you want me to..."
They spent some more time talking and making plans for the future months. They both knew hard months lied ahead for her, but now she was not alone. Someone was there for her besides her parents, just as Monica had promised her, and the expectation of new sweet moments to live gave the ballerina an extra desire to get through the transplant and survive the leukemia. At the end, when Mike was about to say good bye, Natalia asked him a favor. "Mike, before you go, could you please call Andrew? I think he must be with Monica."
"Natalia..." Mike felt somehow upset even if Andrew had always been kind with him.
"It’s nothing about that, I promise. I’d like to talk to Monica, but I know she can’t come. Please?"
****
Even if she was scared of needles, Monica hadn’t complained much about being pecked once and again. This time, it was time for her to have the IV attached for the marrow harvest the next day, so Andrew held her and buried her face in his chest while the nurse introduced the needle in her already sensitive left hand. "I promise this is the last one," the nurse apologized and smiled at Andrew in compassion when they both heard the muffled sob Monica released at feeling the needle getting into her vein.
The blond angel helped Monica to lay down again and kissed her forehead. "You’ve been brave, baby," he murmured and wiped away the tears that were running from her eyes. "And after tomorrow, I’m planning on pampering you for a long time."
"You will spoil me," she replied smiling.
He couldn’t help but smile. "I don’t care, I have all the right." He was tucking her in bed when a light knock at the door made them turn, and Mike appeared on the room.
"I hope I’m not bothering you..."
"Oh, no, Mike, it’s ok. Come in," Andrew answered.
"I... I came to ask you a favor, Andrew," Mike said. "Natalia wants to see you before the operation."
Suddenly there was an uncomfortable silence between the three of them until Monica broke it. "Go, Andrew. I know this is hard for all of us, especially for you two, but you have to go. I’m ok."
The angel of death kissed her hand again. "You’re right, angel. I’ll go."
This time another soft knock alerted Natalia that someone was at her door. She smiled weakly when she saw Andrew coming. "Thanks for coming, Andrew," the ballerina started and offered him a seat with her free hand. "After all I’ve done, the first thing I want to do is to apologize."
"It’s not necessary..." Andrew began but she stopped him.
"It is. I gave you a really hard time and I know I have no excuse. And now, after all I made, Monica still will save my life... I don’t know what to say." Some tears had appeared in her eyes and were now crossing her cheeks. "Could you please forgive me one day?"
Andrew moved form the chair to her bed and swiped at her tears with his thumbs. "We don’t have anything to forgive, Natalia. You’re human and humans make mistakes... and so do angels sometimes." Hearing the giggle he was looking for, he cupped her face tenderly. "Monica and I are happy that you chose life instead of death."
"Will I see you again if I survive the transplant?" Her voice revealed a clear note of fear.
"I don’t know, but I think so. I can tell you God didn’t give you another chance to take it away so soon. You’ll have a new life tomorrow, Natalia, and you have to remember you’ve been especially blessed once and again, ok?" Natalia nodded weakly still crying. "God bless you, little one," the angel said kissing her forehead.
The girl grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him on the cheek. "Will you thank Monica for all this?"
"Of course I will," Andrew said smiling.
****
Normally afraid of darkness, Monica had never feared a sunrise more than this one. She was awaken since very early but tried not to disturb Andrew, who was sleeping more or less calmly seated on a chair and leaning over her bed. When he finally woke up, she had long ago forgotten about sleeping. The first hours of the morning passed in Andrew’s attempts to make her relax, but her hand clutched his tightly when Richard, Tess and two young men appeared at her door with a stretcher ready to carry her to the OR.
"Monica, I really want to thank you for this," Richard told her. Sensing her fear, he continued, "I know I don’t have a way to repay you for saving my daughter’s life and the only one thing I can do is to promise I’ll be especially careful with you. All the procedure is quite uncomfortable, to say the least, but I’ll do everything with even more care so the discomfort will be minimal, ok?"
"Will you be there, Tess?" Monica asked with the tone of a little girl.
"Of course, baby, I’ll assist Dr. Harris."
"And you’ll be back in less than you expect, sweetheart," Andrew said kissing her cheek.
"Ok." Monica let them take her to the OR and saw how another doctor adding a medicine to her IV. She was aware they were counting the time, but soon everything was black for her and she lost conscience of anything around...
The next thing she’d remember was that she was standing in the middle of a forest where trees had yellow and red leaves and there was a slightly cold breeze. "A special present from the Father," whispered on her ear a male voice that he recognize at once. "We have about one hour while they harvest the bone marrow."
Andrew took her hand and leaded her to a spot she recognized at once as the place where Tess had found them and had told them about the assignment. They took a seat on the ground; he leaned against the trunk and she cuddled in his lap. "I hope you don’t mind I chose the book again," he told her showing her The Sonnets by William Shakespeare. "There’s one I picked up for you..."
"Why is my verse so barren of new pride?
So far from variation or quick change?
Why, with the time, do I not glance aside
To new-found methods and to compounds strange?
Why write I still all one, ever the same,
And keep invention in a noted weed,
That every word doth almost tell my name,
Showing their birth, and where they did proceed?
O know, sweet love, I always write of you,
And you and love are still my argument;
So all my best is dressing old words new,
Spending again what is already spent;
For as the sun is daily new and old,
So is my love still telling what is told.
When they realized time was out and Andrew knew they had to go back. "I promise you’ll see me when you wake up," he told her kissing her forehead lovingly.
And so it was. When Monica opened her eyes, the first thing she saw were Andrew’s green eyes full with the love she always found there. "Hello, sleeping beauty," he greeted her.
"Hey," she murmured still half asleep.
"You have visitors," Andrew told her, and Adam and Tess came closer to her bed.
"Hello, beautiful," the other angel of death told her.
"Hello, baby," the supervisor said. "I’m so proud of you!"
"How did everything go?" the little angel asked fighting not to fall asleep again.
"Perfectly well, baby," Tess answered. "They got the bone marrow and the mother cells. Natalia will get them today and tomorrow."
"Great... OUCH!" she couldn’t help but shout when she tried to move and her hip grazed the mattress.
"Don’t move, baby!" Andrew was quick to soothe her and to wipe away the tear that came unbidden to her eye.
"Andrew is right, angel girl. You have eight punctures in each hip. I’m afraid that will hurt for a little while..."
Monica sighed deeply to stop complaining.
"The Father knew why it was you the donor," Adam said reading in her gesture. "Any other angel wouldn’t be so brave. This is only one proof of your strength, Monica, the strength we three admire on you..."
Monica blushed slightly. "I don’t feel too strong right now to be honest," she chuckled weakly.
"Why don’t you try to sleep, baby?" Tess suggested. "The anesthesia must be still hitting on you."
"Ok... Will you be here?" she asked drifting off to sleep.
"I won’t go anywhere," Andrew replied stroking her cheek delicately and squeezing her hand.
****
Mary Ann heard the sound of steps coming closer and she smiled when she turned and saw the three angels walking towards her. She had been standing on the corridor, watching through the window at the room where her daughter was getting the mother cells.
Monica was limping slightly and Andrew had his arm around her waist to help her. "Oh, Monica, how are you?" she asked to her ex assistant.
"I’ve just been released," the little angel answered. "How’s Natalia doing?"
"She’s doing great! If there isn’t any complication, she may leave in four weeks..."
"I see..."
"I guess you’re going home to rest?" the doctor asked.
Andrew and Monica chuckled before answering. "Most definitely!" she replied.
"I want you to pamper her a lot, Andrew," Mary Ann said taking Monica’s hands. "She deserves that and much more!"
"I will, ma’am!" the angel of death assured her.
"Good morning," Mike interrupted them at the moment.
"Hello, Mike," Mary Ann said. "You came to see Natalia?"
"Yes," the boy said blushing slightly thought the big bouquet of white roses he was carrying spoke for itself. "I know she can’t have those with her, but at least she can know I brought them..."
"That’s very sweet from you!" the woman said. "I’m meeting Richard in a minute to know what’s new. You want to come with me?"
"Of course!"
"Ok, then, let’s go. Bye Monica, Andrew, Tess..." Mary Ann said hugging each of them.
They hugged her and shook hands with Mike too. When the blond angel shook hands with his ex student, he leaned down. "Next time, bring them red," he said referring to the roses, and blinked an eye in complicity.
Mary Ann and he saw the angels starting to walk away and they turned to go to Richard’s office. Suddenly, Mary Ann remembered she hadn’t said thank you again... but when she turned around, the angels were nowhere in sight...
THE END
BTW, I didn’t say this before: I took the short tale at the beginning from Ernest Hemingway’s First forty-nine short stories and the sonnet from William Shakespeare’s Sonnets. The songs are The Rose by Beth Middler for the one of the title, and for the ones at the party, The lady in red by Chris De Burgh and Strangers in the night by Mel Torme.