Wrong
By nightshift

The usual disclaimers. All hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. for making the world more interesting. None of the characters are mine. I own nothing except a beaten up 1992 Fort Escort. Want it? Take it. No, really, the doors don't lock and the tape deck doesn't work.
Spoilers: Um, yes. Up to halfway through Hell's Bells (Season 6). Then it takes a weird slide into my version of reality.
Distribution: If you want it, please ask. But flattery will get you everywhere. I do own this story and like to visit occasionally to make sure it has a good home.
Rating: R to be on the safe side-mostly for language. (most of the chapters probably PG-13. I'll make sure and mention at the beginning of a chapter if things slide into the NC-17 range, although I doubt it will happen.)
Title: Wrong
Author: nightshift
Email: kalliebailey@hotmail.com
Summary: Buffy's confused about Riley, upset about Spike, and worried about Dawn. Not to mention the whole "came back wrong" thing. Tara can't possibly be right, it's time for someone better versed in magic to take a look. Sounds like your cue, Giles.

"Okay, everybody ready? That music is our cue. Dawnie, you're first. Then Buffy, then me. Remember, walk slowly and smile." Buffy and Dawn shook their heads as Willow's nervous preparations amused them yet again. She had been a wreck ever since they got there. She had run herself dizzy trying to make sure her part of Xander's wedding was perfect. "Don't forget your bouquet!" She held it out to Dawn; who took it and headed out the door.

Buffy was next. She looked out the door and waited until Dawn was almost down the aisle. Then she stepped out, bouquet in hand. When she reached the end of the aisle, she stepped aside and smiled at Dawn. Then she turned to watch Willow's approach. When the three of them were safely ensconced in their proper (according to all four wedding books Anya had bought) places, the music stopped. Then the wedding march started. Anya stepped out, walking down the aisle alone.

Buffy turned to Willow and whispered, "I guess Giles couldn't be bothered to come back for the wedding, huh?" Willow gave her a funny look, shushed her and handed her bouquet over. Anya handed hers to Willow and turned to face Xander. Buffy went through the motions of paying attention while actually drifting into a slight doze. She had learned how to do it years before when slaying, Angel, and homework all battled for her time. When it was over and two of her friends were presented as a married couple; Buffy came back to herself. She handed back Willow's bouquet, then patiently waited to recess back down the aisle. Some guy from Xander's work (she remembered him vaguely from her unsuccessful foray into the construction business) took her arm and she smiled insincerely at him.

"You know, in spite of that horrible bridesmaid's dress, you look great. Green is really your color." Wonderful, now she'd have to remember his name. She looked at him and murmured a brief thanks. She wondered if she looked easy or dirty. That had to be the only reason he talked to her. Maybe Spike had written her name on a bathroom wall in revenge. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to get together later. Not tonight; I mean...after the wedding. I know it's not the best time to ask, but if you'd at least give me your phone number..." She looked up, startled. "Oh, I'm sorry. I never thought to ask if you were seeing someone. Well, that was stupid, pretty lady like yourself, probably very attached." He looked down, obviously chagrined.

"No, not exactly." Okay, think Buffy. Bad breakup. Yeah, that'll work. World of bad breakup. Letting go of Riley, Spike, her dignity. "I'm sorry, I just broke up with someone last week. I'm still kinda raw around the edges."

He nodded, mollified. "Well, let me know if you change your mind sometime tonight. Will you at least let me prove what a good dancer I am?" He left that ante out on the table.

Polite she could do. "Well, I'm pretty sure I have to save at least one dance for you anyways. If you don't step too hard on my toes, we can try another." She smiled at him. "Receiving line. Yay. Talk to you at the reception." They took their places. Buffy smiled, willing herself to be gracious even though her skin felt like it was buzzing again and her face ached with the effort.

The church wasn't empty yet, but Buffy couldn't take it anymore. Standing still, smiling and making polite nonsensical conversation was killing her. She made excuses and headed for the bathroom, barely holding tears in check.

She had started to repair damage done to her makeup by the crying when she heard a tentative knock on the door. "Buffy, are you all right? Pictures will be starting soon."

Deep breath. She got herself under control. "On my way, Dawn. Some mascara flaked into my eye. I had to do some damage repair." She stepped out, ready for pictures.

Dawn looked at her strangely. "So much for the waterproof mascara, huh? You look like you've been crying all week." She grabbed Buffy's arm. "Hey, you've gotta see Spike's date. She was something else. He asked where you and Riley were. I told the big dummy that Riley was married and you were so over him." Buffy turned and hugged her sister. "Hey! Don't wrinkle the dress. It's ugly enough."

"Dawnie, I love you. I hope I'll be around for your wedding."

Dawn hugged her sister back, fiercely. "Don't you want to be married first? I'd kinda like to have a brother-in-law to give me away. Since I know dad won't care or even remember to send a present." Buffy took a ragged breath and blew it out slowly. She could do this, she was control girl.

"It's not going to happen. I'm too busy at night to meet anyone and I don't know if it would be fair to them, with me being what I am. We'll just have to have Xander walk you down the aisle when the time comes." Dawn looked at her sister. She didn't know what exactly was wrong, but thought it had something to do with the events last week.

"Buffy, you seem sorta sad. Do you miss Riley?" Buffy shook her head, slowly. "Oh, is it the job thing? I mean, you hated that one anyways, right?" Another deep breath. Not fair, that Dawn was being so perceptive. "Or is it that you left your job because of Riley, then you found out you couldn't have either one back?" Something stretched beyond its limits inside Buffy's head snapped. She turned and ran back to the bathroom, sobbing. "Great, now I have to explain where she is to Anya." She trudged back towards the rest of the wedding party.

Once again, Buffy exerted iron control and got herself calmed down. She reapplied makeup for the third time in two hours and went to have her picture taken in the world's ugliest bridesmaid's dress. "Hey, we were starting to think we'd have to move the pictures into the ladies room." Willow smiled at her, gently. Evidently Dawn had warned everyone that Buffy was crying, again, because even Anya was uncharacteristically silent.

Buffy let herself fade while having her picture taken. She went where posed, smiled when asked, and in general was compliant with the photographer's wishes. Willow nudged her. "Earth to Buffy. Come in Buffy." She snapped back to reality. "Time to go. We're going to the reception where we'll get Scooby gang and extended Scooby gang pictures--can you believe that even Oz and Cordelia made it?" Buffy nodded. Nice enough, but one integral part of the Scoobies wasn't going to be there. The one she wanted to talk to more than anyone else in the world. The person who brought clarity into her muddled life.

She found her chair at the head table and had a seat. On the way into the hall, she had seen Spike with his date. They exchanged a few biting comments, but her heart wasn't in it. She felt bad for using him, and still missed the wild, imaginative sex. That was one of the things she didn't miss about Riley. Spike had that part right--not enough monster in Riley for her. The thing he didn't understand was that there was too much monster in him. She sighed and pushed the food around on her plate. She hadn't been hungry since Riley came back and proved to her just how rotten her life was. No, not true. She hadn't been hungry since she'd come back from the dead. People just noticed it more now, thought she was moping over a lost love or something. Dawn looked over at her, worried. She picked something up with her fork and had a bite. She smiled reassuringly at Dawn. "See, I'm eating." I can do this. Just one day at a time. God I wish I was still dead. She swallowed and looked over at Dawn. Still watching. Okay, another bite. Gotta make it look good, Buffy. You don't want everyone to start worrying again.

Xander stood up and said "I know it's traditional to have the best man make the toast, but since he hates public speaking--I asked someone else if he would speak instead." The best man shrugged, obviously embarrassed. "I'd like to introduce a very good friend of mine, he's been like a second father to me. Mr. Rupert Giles." Buffy's head jerked up and her fork clattered on her plate. She watched Giles stand and deliver a toast. She clapped when everyone else did. She sighed deeply, then picked up her fork and started pushing food around on her plate again.

Giles was back. Maybe she'd get a chance to talk to him about her screwed up life before he left her again. Maybe he'd have some advice, maybe he'd yell at her. Tara had been understanding about Spike. Buffy hoped he wouldn't be. She would feel better knowing that he knew how badly she'd defiled herself with yet another vampire. She'd talk to him tonight, set up a meeting with him before he left again for England. This decided, she looked over at Dawn who was still watching her push food around on her plate. She sighed and started eating again.

She was relieved when the waiter took the plate away. She didn't have to pretend to eat anymore. Now for the social graces. She waited while the bridal book's mandatory family dances were danced. Now the wedding party stuff. "Dawn? What's my partner's name?"

"Carlos. I can't remember his last name. Isn't he cute? Tall, dark and muscular. I have to dance with Xander's creepy cousin. I bet he's gonna try and put his hands all over me. Jerk." They got up for the next dance. Buffy smiled graciously. It wouldn't hurt to be pleasant, after all. Not like she had an established dance partner; and dancing was one of the things she could do to forget her miserable life. Carlos was a surprisingly agile dancer, especially for his bulk. She could've picked worse. He behaved perfectly, never getting grabby or pushy. She relaxed and just let the music and the movement take her away.

The DJ stopped the music. "Okay, now everyone in the wedding party pick somebody else to bring onto the dance floor. We're going to turn this into a mixer. Who knows, the next wedding you go to might be your own." Carlos released her and turned toward the crowd. She headed back towards the table. She was NOT going to pick a partner from the sea of strangers.

Dawn intercepted her. "Buffy, I'm going to go dance with Spike. I have got to give him a hard time about his skanky date. Why don't you go ask Giles? He looks lonely." She indicated which table Giles was at, in case Buffy hadn't noticed.

"Well, I have to talk to him anyways. Might as well combine business with dancing." She wound her way to the table and asked him to dance. He stood up and took her hand and led her to the floor. He took her into his arms as the music started. She had never seen Giles dance before, but it became apparent to her that he most assuredly knew what he was doing. "Hey, Giles, you're not a bad dancer for an ex-librarian." He smiled at her in reply. "Uh, I have to talk to you before you leave, if you have time. I need some advice and I figured since you're going back to England I can tell you something and I won't have to listen to six months of 'what were you thinking?' and 'were you out of your mind?'"

"Buffy, you know you can tell me anything. I am only a telephone call away."

"Yeah," she said bitterly. "An expensive, I-just-lost-another-job-and-can't-afford-it transatlantic phone call away."

"What happened?"

"Riley came back and I left my job because he needed me to track this demon. Then Sam came and we were introduced and they're perfect together. Then I broke up with Spike but it's not like we ever went anywhere together, just sex. And now I can't go back to work because I abandoned my job twice. Not like I wanted it anyways, but beggars can't be choosers. And Dawn shoplifting and the social services lady. I came back wrong and I've screwed up my life so badly..." She started sobbing in his arms. Gently, he led her outside and sat her down. He fished through his pockets until he came up with a handkerchief. Wordlessly, he handed it to her.

She finally cried herself out and handed his handkerchief back. "Great. That's the fourth time today I've had to repair water damage on my face. If I keep this up I'm gonna get an endorsement deal from Maybelline. New, slayer proof mascara." She smiled briefly at him. "Giles, I don't want to do it tonight and ruin your enjoyment of the wedding, but can we talk tomorrow?" She tilted her head at him and gave him her very best sad puppy eyes.

"I'm at the Sunnydale Ramada Inn. What time should I expect you?"

She thought about it for a minute. "Breakfast time. How about nine o'clock? I can ask Tara or Willow to take Dawn and we can make a day of it."

"An entire day? Are you certain you'll need that much time?"

"The certainest. I've really screwed things up this time." From inside the reception hall they could hear the DJ. "Oh, they're looking for us for Scooby pictures. Can you stall them until I get my face fixed? I don't want to be immortalized in the wedding album looking like I'm miserable, even if I am."

"You look lovely, Buffy."

"Liar. I'll just be five minutes. I promise." She rushed into the room and grabbed her purse. Then she hurried back to the rest room to repair crying damage. Again.

She went back for more pictures, feeling as cool and composed as she had in quite a while. At some point while she was dancing, her skin finally stopped buzzing. Pictures went well, even Anya was a bit less obnoxious since the wedding itself was over and the reception was well started. Buffy even managed to smile once or twice at Xander's wisecracks. She watched Tara of all people catch the bouquet and some demon friend of Anya's caught the garter. She wasn't sure how, but she made it through the rest of the reception.

She danced at least once with every dance capable male at the reception and a couple of fast dances with Willow. She supervised Dawn's dance partners, making sure they were acceptable and not too friendly. She left late with Willow, Dawn, and surprisingly Tara in tow.

"So, can one of you guys watch Dawn tomorrow? I have some Slayer-Watcher catching up to do." Willow and Tara looked worriedly at each other. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had plans."

"Not that we don't want to, we love Dawnie. But we have some serious discussion ourselves." Willow shrugged.

Dawn looked a little offended. "I don't need a babysitter. I am seriously old enough to stay by myself. If you don't think I should stay alone, why can't I come with you to Giles' hotel? I can stay at the pool until you're done." Since the only alternative was to let her stay at home alone or send her to Spike's, Buffy decided the pool option was a good one.

"You will stay at the pool. Don't bother us in the room, I have some serious problems to work out." Dawn nodded in compliance.

"If it will keep you from crying at the drop of a hat, I'll stay at the pool until I'm a prune."

Buffy reached over to hug her sister. "Now I can wrinkle that ugly dress." Dawn smiled at her and hugged her back. The trip home was uneventful.

As they were unlocking the front door, Buffy had a thought. "You guys know that if I were wearing something I liked, I'd get demon blood or vampire dust all over it. It figures, I can't ruin this hideous thing."

Tara suggested, "you could wear this on patrol all the time. That way you would never get attacked." They all laughed at the image of Buffy patrolling in the repulsive green dress.

Willow said, "Yeah, then you could collect more dresses like this one and keep the entire demon population down forever. They'd all leave Sunnydale."

Dawn stuck her arms straight out in front of her and walked stiff legged like a movie monster. "Must leave Sunnydale. Slayer dresses ugly." They all laughed as they went in the door.

The next morning, Buffy and Dawn got up and dressed. Tara and Willow were asleep on the couch. "How long do you think they talked?" Dawn asked.

"I think I still heard them when I got up around four o'clock. I hope they work things out." Dawn nodded. "Got your swimsuit?"

"Yeah, top and bottom this time. So, what about breakfast?"

"I'm hoping Giles will buy. I don't have any money until my last paycheck is released and I'm sure the manager won't just mail it." They started towards the hotel.

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"What did Spike mean? Was he talking about Riley?"

Buffy's stomach flip-flopped. What was he telling Dawn now? If she found out about the two of them from Spike, it would be mandatory stakeage time. "I don't know. I need a point of reference. What did he say?"

"He said that you were dancing with everyone to forget dumping the best guy you'd ever been with."

"Who knows why Spike says the things he does? I think he's still mad at me because I'm the one who destroyed those baby demons he was holding for someone. I pretty much trashed his crypt doing it. Grenades are messy."

"Oh. I know it's not what you want to hear right now, but have you ever considered dating Spike? I mean, he's in love with you."

"No. No undead. Never again. Remember Angel? Remember him kidnapping and torturing Giles? No vampires."

Dawn looked at her, vaguely insulted. "I'm not stupid, Buffy. Angel had a soul, Spike has a chip. Same difference, except if you and Spike…well, he can't lose his chip."

"No. We wouldn't be…good together. Just drop it, okay?"

"Fine. Hey, why does Tara keep looking at you funny? Did you say something mean to her?"

Her sister was the single most exasperating person on the planet. "Dawn, I told her a secret I didn't want anyone else to hear. She hasn't told anyone and I think she's afraid for me. That's why I'm going to talk to Giles. He'll have a better idea of what to do about things."

"Geez, Buffy. How come you always run to him? It's not like he can do anything from England. Why don't you tell me or one of the Scoobies?"

"Dawn, he is a Scooby. One of the original Scoobies. I talk to him because Willow has her own problems, Xander isn't objective in this instance, Anya wouldn't have a socially acceptable answer, and you are too young to hear it."

"Is it about sex? You didn't have sex with Riley again? I mean, he's married."

"No, no sex with Riley. Not with a married man. Can we just drop this, too?"

"So, how did it go with Carlos? He seemed very interested in you, and you danced with him a bunch of times. Will there be a new Scooby soon?"

"No. Hey, how did dancing with Xander's cousin go? I don't have to hurt him do I?"

"No. I told him if he didn't stop trying to grope me I was going to tell my sister, who could kick his ass. I told him if that didn't work I'd tell Anya and he'd really regret it then."

Buffy laughed. "It's gotta be intimidating, having an ex-demon in the family. Especially one who hated men for so long." They arrived at the hotel. Giles was waiting for them in the lobby.

"Good morning. Are you ready for breakfast?" They both nodded. "Where would you like to go?"

"Hotel restaurant? It's close and I'm sure Dawn is starving." Buffy motioned Dawn to stay back for a minute and went closer to Giles. In an undertone she brought up the Dawn problem. "Giles, I'm sorry, but I don't have any money or a babysitter so Dawn's staying at the pool. It was the best I could do on short notice since two of my regular babysitters just got married and the other two are finally talking again."

"So I'm buying both of you breakfast?"

"Possibly lunch, too. I'm sorry, I'll pay you back as soon as I get another job. But I really, really have to talk to you before you go back to England and before I screw up my life any more than it already is."

"Buffy, you don't have to pay me back. Why does Dawn need a sitter again? Glory is dead. Is there someone else after her now?"

"No. Part of the screwed up Buffy life story, though. She's not running around unsupervised. Ever again. Until she's fifty." Giles took off his glasses and looked at her. Then he nodded assent.

"Let's go eat, then." They followed him to the restaurant. Breakfast was good. At least Dawn and Giles thought so. Buffy just pushed food around on her plate unless directly observed.

"Thank you Giles for the breakfast. Buffy, I'm done. Can I go swim now?"

"Wait a bit before swimming. You just ate."

Dawn looked disappointed. "How about if I stay in the shallow end for a half hour. No swimming, just splashing around?" Buffy nodded assent. "Hey, how about towels? Do I have to come up to Giles' room to get one? I'm not dripping my way from one end of the hotel to the other."

"You're not dripping your way to and from anywhere. I'll come get you for lunch. You STAY at the pool. Do you understand me?" The last two sentences were hissed through Buffy's gritted teeth. Giles looked at her, startled at the barely controlled rage. He began to say something, but Buffy's warning look silenced him.

Dawn looked up at her sister with tearful eyes. "I get it. House arrest again. I'll just shiver at the pool until you remember you have a sister."

"They have towels at the swimming pool." Giles interjected mildly. Dawn shot him a grateful look. He made a shooing motion and she scooted off towards the pool.

"Let's go to your room. I really need someone calm to talk to." Giles paid the bill and escorted her back to his room.

She looked around after he opened the door. "I know it's stupid. I mean, I've been alone with you in your house before. It's just that I feel kinda funny going into a hotel room with a man. I've never..."

"The longer you stand out here, the better the chance that someone will see and recognize you." She rushed into the room.

"Oh, wow. I've never seen a hotel room like this before. It's huge. Now I don't feel so bad about having you pay for breakfast."

"Have a seat." He gestured towards a couch in the middle of the suite. She sat, still looking around in wonder. "Would you like a drink? I can call room service."

"No, I don't drink anymore. I think the kitten poker and the demon from the van cured that."

"I meant soda or coffee. Buffy, why don't you start from the beginning. What is it you would like to talk with me about?" She looked down and didn't say anything. "Buffy, I can't help if I don't know what is wrong." She looked up at him sadly and started crying again.

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