Dense fog shrouded the Quartermaine house. The rose garden, long ago overrun by weeds, stood wilted, covered in ice like frozen sculptures. Edward had ordered the gardeners not to touch the garden ever again. Looking at it, even in its unkempt state, made him think of his beloved Lila—her smile, her laughter...her eyes. Sometimes, when the world was at its bleakest, he had thoughts of destroying it, pulling out each rose bush one at a time from the roots. Of course, his arthritis and the little remnants of his heart prevented him from such actions. Lila would forever be in that garden.

There was little left of his wife. He could scarcely remember her voice, her civility, her mild temperament and how she kept him in line – kept him from crossing barriers he knew shouldn’t be crossed. But those lines blurred the moment her body grew cold. His heart had turned to ice, a brittle sharp thing, when he watched her body being lowered into the ground. And then everything evil, everything she had kept at bay, seemed to spill open. His business, the one he had worked so hard to build up, had slid into decline while he sat by his wife’s bedside, watching her slip away. It had been a long, painful illness. And their time together was important—more important than mergers and stocks and the bottom line. That is until she died and all he had left was the business. He’d ignored her for so long, so many wasted years, trying to make himself a success. He had failed her. He would not fail the business. He would be back on top again. At any cost.

“You blithering idiot!" Edward yelled. He pulled the young man into his office by the scruff of his jacket. Forcefully, he pushed him into one of the large leather chairs and stood over him, wagging his finger in his face. “You just couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, could you?”

Paul whipped around and sneered. "It's your fault, old man! You're the one that came to me...sought me out to help you! I was doing you a favor and look where it got me!"

Edward’s eyes narrowed. He should have known better than to hire some sexed-up college kid. They never understood the bigger picture. "My fault? My fault! I told you to keep an eye on her, to get close to her. When did I say to rape her?! You did this all on your own," he said, jabbing his finger into his chest.

Paul rolled his neck. The beating Jason had given him had stiffened up all his muscles and he felt like shit. The cold six-by-six cell, barely-there mattress and thin sheets didn’t help much either. Oh, not to mention his “roommate” who had tried to make him his bitch. Good thing he knew people in high places. Even if Edward was an old geezer, at least he was a rich old geezer. One more night in that jail and he could kiss his reputation goodbye.

Good thing it was all over… Well, except for his sentencing. Not that he expected to go back to jail. His father would hire some overpriced lawyer and the charges would get dropped. Just like last time.

Working for the Quartermaine’s, while prosperous, wasn’t exactly his idea of turning over a quick buck.

“Well, what do you have to say for yourself now that you’ve screwed everything up?”

"Yeah, well, whatever. It's over now," he said, casually, avoiding Edward’s menacing stare.

Edward's voice was deadly low. "Nothing's over! Not until I get my money!"

Paul shook his head. The nerve of this guy… If he thought Elizabeth Webber was going to roll with their plan now, the guy was seriously twisted. "What? But I was arrested! She'll never talk to me now."

Edward laughed, it sounded hollow and cold. His blue eyes sparkled.

Paul cringed. What the hell had he gotten himself mixed up in? Fuck, his father was going to kill him this time!

"I bailed you out, young man. That means you still owe me. Forget about the girl. There are other things you can do for me to work off your debt."

“Yeah? Like what?”

“In due time, my boy,” Edward said, smirking.

______

Sonny had called off the search when Jason arrived back at the house with Elizabeth in his arms, bruised and bloodied. He didn't exactly lie to Trisha, but he didn't tell her the whole truth either. He said things were fine… And although they weren't exactly fine, it was better than getting her all riled up. At least that had been the logical explanation, and if Sonny had known Trisha better, he would have known that had definitely been the wrong thing. Because what Sonny didn’t know was that Trisha had a pretty good bullshit detector. And, apparently, Sonny stunk.

"Where is she?!" Trisha demanded, storming through the open door, her face red with anger.

Sonny backed up and held his hands out in front of him. "Whoa, calm down!"

Trisha was fiercely loyal and deadly when crossed. She threw her hands in the air, her lips thinning. "Don't tell me to calm down!”

Sonny was smart enough to remain quiet.

“I started thinking about it and your little “she decided to take a walk and got lost” story didn’t make a lick of sense. So I went to Elizabeth's studio this morning. And do you know what I found? The place was a mess! Paint spilled on the floor, clothes thrown all over, pants covered in, what looks like, blood! Now, you tell me what the hell is going on! And you tell me now!"

"I'm fine, Trisha," Elizabeth said, hugging her arms around her body, walking cautiously down the steps to greet her friend.

"Oh, thank god!" Trisha exclaimed and pulled her into a death-grip of a hug. “Look at you! What the hell happened?! We were so worried! What were you thinking?! Why didn’t you call me? Spence wanted to fill out a missing person's report when we saw the mess at your apartment. Do you have any idea how insane I’ve been going? I was thinking all these horrible thoughts…making myself sick! Sick, Elizabeth Imogene Webber! Do you hear me?" Trisha exclaimed, exhausted. She looked at Liz pointedly, waiting for an explanation.

"Well, something did happen—Wait, why were you and Lucky together?" Elizabeth asked, deflecting attention from herself.

Trisha flushed. This time from what Elizabeth's knew to be embarrassment.

"We...uh... That's beside the point! What's going on? Are you okay?"

Elizabeth nodded. From the corner of her eye she saw Jason walk in from the garage and quietly shut the door behind him. She took in a deep breath.

"Something happened...but everything's okay now," she said, biting her lip and recoiling when the tender skin rebelled.

"What? What happened?"

"I don't really want to get into it again..."

Trisha smoothed her hand down Elizabeth's back. Her eyes narrowed in concern. "What is it? Whatever it is, you know I’m here for you," Trisha encouraged.

"I know and I'm okay," Elizabeth said quietly. "Paul was waiting for me last night... He tried to... He almost...but Jason was there..."

Elizabeth didn't continue.

Trisha was a perceptive person and could piece together the rest on her own. She pulled Elizabeth into another tight hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I should’ve been there. I could have--"

“Stop. You couldn’t have done anything. I was… It was my fault. I was stupid.”

“Don’t. Don’t you do that to yourself! Don’t let me ever hear you blame yourself for this again. Do you hear me?”

Elizabeth nodded against her friend’s shoulder. The tears came unbidden. "I-I just needed some air… I needed to get away. I-I can…I can still feel his hands on me, touching, grabbing." She shuddered. The bruises would fade, but the fear was still very much a part of her. It could be seen hiding in the steely blue of her eyes.

"Shh, it's okay. We're all here for you. Right?" Trisha’s statement was definitive.

Sonny and Jason nodded solemnly, eyes on the ground. Jason shifted his weight, his hand curling into a fist.

The tension was thick and cloying. Someone needed to break it.

Sonny cleared his throat.

There. Effective and clean.

"I'm just going to the orphanage to pick-up Dominic. I got a call from Sister Mary-Thomas this morning and she said she'd talked things over with him and she'd never seen him so excited. So today is going to be like…a trial run. I'm not sure she really trusts me with him, but at least she's willing to give me a chance. Do you need anything while I'm gone, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth pulled back from Trisha and wiped her eyes. "No, no I'm okay, Sonny. Thank you, though."

"Okay. Trisha, stay as long as you like.”

Trisha crossed her arms and tapped her foot. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Uh…”

“An apology perhaps? For not only lying about how Liz really was, but for making up a really shitty story, too. Seriously? You’re a terrible liar.”

Sonny bowed his head. “I was doing what I thought Elizabeth would want, but I am sorry for misleading you.”

“Apology accepted.” Trisha sensed Sonny’s sincerity, his loyalty toward Elizabeth. It was all the explanation she needed.

Sonny nodded. “There's cake on the counter and lots of leftovers in the refrigerator if you get hungry."

"I could eat," Trisha said, and took Elizabeth's hand, leading her into the kitchen.

Sonny faced Jason and put his hand on his shoulder. "She'll be okay," he said, softly.

Jason nodded, smoothing his hand down his face.

______

The collar around his neck itched. He still couldn’t get used the idea of playing a priest. Max flexed his fingers on the steering wheel, turning the corner and checking his rearview. Even though Sonny was out of the business, he still had enemies. There were people still out there that wouldn’t think twice about taking a shot at his former boss.

And now with a kid in the equation…? He still wasn’t comfortable lying to Elizabeth. Deep down, he knew it was for her protection and that’s what allowed him to maintain the lie. But a kid? There was a reason Sonny left the business—a reason why he never got remarried and never had more kids of his own. They would never be safe. And Max couldn’t see how entering the life of some orphaned kid wasn’t going to become a complication.

The subject had to be broached very delicately. He cleared his throat. “So, uh, boss, about this kid…?”

Sonny turned his head. “I’m not your boss.”

“Whaa? Yeah, sorry. Anyway, about the kid.”

“What, Max? Just say it.”

Max hooked his finger into his collar, pulling the scratchy material away from his neck. “I’m just wondering…”

“Wondering what?” he snapped.

Max treaded carefully. “Well… It just seems like this whole thing was sort of…spontaneous.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Max kept his eyes on the road. He could feel the heat of Sonny’s stare. “I just think… I mean, especially after what has happened to Elizabeth, that it might be better if… A kid is a lot of, um, work. And maybe it’s a little reckless to--”

“You think I should stay away.” Sonny sighed, turning his head to look out the window.

“I think you should tread carefully. You don’t know this kid’s story, his history. The kid could--”

“Dominic.”

“What?”

“His name is Dominic.”

“Oh.”

“I know you’re concerned. I know this seems… I can’t explain it. There’s something about him. He just looks so much…”

“Dominic, your Dominic is… he’s dead, Sonny.” Max hated saying it. He knew Sonny was painfully aware of the fact. Back then Max had been green, new to the business, but he’d witnessed Sonny’s breakdown. He’d seen just what losing his wife and son had done to him.

Sonny closed his eyes. “I know.”

“I’m sorry, boss.”

“I’m not your boss,” Sonny said, eyes turning back to the window.

“Right. I’m…I’m sorry.”

___

They pulled up to the house and Max cut the ignition.

Sonny figured letting Francis or Johnny drive him would have been a mistake. Max, collar and all, was a far better option. And though he felt guilty for the deception, in the end it was worth it if he got to spend time with Dominic and possibly figure out exactly what drew him to the young boy. He just hadn’t counted on Max’s concern. In truth, he’d been feeling conflicted about his reasons for visiting the boy and now he knew he wasn’t the only one.

Dominic was ready, pacing at the front door. Sonny attempted to get out of the car to greet him, but he rushed over with a huge smile on his face, waving frantically to Sister Mary-Thomas, while he quite literally hopped into the car.

Sonny couldn’t help the low chuckle that escaped. Looking over at Sister Mary-Thomas, he could tell that she was less than amused. The stark worry lines on her face told Sonny that she was more than a little apprehensive about letting Dominic leave.

Sonny couldn’t blame her. Everyone knew his reputation.

Climbing into the back seat, Sonny couldn’t take his eyes off of Dominic.

"Wow, this is a cool car!" Dominic exclaimed, touching all the buttons his chubby kid-fingers could find.

"Yeah, yeah it is," he said, trying not to stare.

They had taken the limo. Maybe that had been a mistake, too. Even letting Max drive a limo seemed conspicuous for a retired mob boss. They should have taken one of the cars instead. There were certain rituals, no matter how hard Sonny had tried to break them, that just came natural. Old habits died hard.

Sonny’s gaze again fell on Dominic. There was something so familiar about this boy, something that reminded him of his own son. It was crazy, really. His son was dead and he shouldn't be fantasizing that Dominic was anything other than an unfortunate boy that looked remarkably like him. He knew getting his hopes up would just lead to disappointment and heartache.

Dominic settled back in his seat, eyeing Sonny skeptically. "Are you in the mob?"

Sonny laughed. "What?"

"You know, the Mob, with the bad guys and the drugs and the big machine guns. Jimmy Parker said that you were in the mob and that you had all this money and that you killed all theses people to get it. That true?"

Sonny sighed. How the hell did he explain his past lifestyle to an impressionable kid without lying or glamorizing it? He was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, tentative. "I did a lot of things in my past that I'm not proud of...but no, I'm not in the mob."

"But you were, right?"

Sonny nodded slowly. "Yes."

Dominic's eyes were wide. "Whoa, most people would have lied. That's awesome! You must be really rich."

Sonny straightened in his seat, his back tense. "It's not awesome, Dominic," he said, shaking his head. "I lost my wife and child because I was selfish and greedy. Nothing about that lifestyle is awesome."

"I guess not," he said, shrugging. "Back in the Bronx, this kid that lived down the block had an Uncle who got mixed up with the mob and he ended up in the river wearing cement shoes, if you know what I mean." Dominic slid his index finger over his throat and winked at Sonny.

Sonny didn't know whether to laugh or scold him. He decided changing the subject was his best bet. "So, you grew up with just your mom?"

Dominic looked down at the floor of the car, seemingly shy. "Yeah, well, mostly. There were... Sometimes she had a boyfriend. We moved around a lot until Mom died... Then I got shipped off to the orphanage."

Sonny nodded. "You must miss her a lot."

"Yeah. I guess it's the same with you. You must miss your wife and your kid, huh?"

"It's been a long time, but yeah. Yeah, I miss them."

Dominic smiled slightly and looked out the window.

Sonny watched him from the corner of his eye until they rounded the corner and entered the long driveway leading to the house.

______

"Elizabeth, are you really okay?" Trisha asked, seated across form her at the kitchen table.

Elizabeth looked up from her plate and gave a false smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me, okay?"

Trisha scooted closer. "Don't you know I can tell when you're lying? And don’t ask me to do something I don’t want to. You know I’ll only do it more."

"I'm sorry, I just... I don't really want to talk about it." Elizabeth picked up her mug, containing herbal tea, and took a sip.

Trisha smoothed her hair behind her ear and bit her lip. "Does it remind you--"

"Don't go there. Please." Elizabeth’s mug slipped from her hands, crashing onto the saucer and spilling hot tea all over the table. “Smooth, Elizabeth. Real smooth,” she chastised herself.

Getting up from the table, she grabbed a dishtowel from the counter. Picking up the chipped mug, she set it and the saucer in the sick, leaning on the stainless steel for balance and taking a deep breath. After a brief moment—long enough to collect herself—Elizabeth returned to the table and began to soak up her mess. She could feel Trisha’s eyes on her.

“Here,” Trisha said, quietly, reaching for the towel, “Let me get it.”

“I can do it.”

“Your hands are shaking.”

Elizabeth looked down at her hands and noticed how her whole body seemed to be trembling. She looked Trisha in the eye and let go of the now-wet dishtowel.

"I didn't mean...” Trisha began, but gave up, seemingly not finding the right words. “Everything's going to be okay."

"I know," Elizabeth said, allowing herself to believe it—needing to believe it. She waited a beat, then, "Jason saved me."

Trisha cleared the mess and then took her seat again. She took a bite of Sonny’s specialty chocolate cake and chewed slowly. She swallowed and let her fork rest against her plate. “When you say he saved you…what exactly do you mean?”

“I was just there…just waiting for the inevitable, closing my eyes and going to some other place in my head…just waiting for it all to be over… Just…numb. And then Jason was just there. And I knew. I knew I was safe.”

“H-How did he even find you?”

“I don’t know. He just did.”

"Then he's a hero."

"I'm not a hero," Jason said solemnly, walking into the room, wiping his hands on a rag.

Both women had been talking so in depth, they hadn’t heard Jason come inside. His voice was like a loud drum, breaking into their quiet confessional.

Jason felt Trisha’s eyes on him. "What?" he asked self-consciously.

Her eyes were wide, her mouth open in shock and then after she gained some composure she said, "Uh, hello? You're speaking!"

Jason nodded, moving to the sink and turning the faucet on. He rubbed soap over his hands and continued to clean off the motor grease.

Trisha gave Elizabeth a quizzical look.

Elizabeth shrugged and they both looked at Jason and then back at each other.

Trisha smiled.

Elizabeth's face heated.

She and Jason hadn’t really spoken about the whole “speaking” thing. Truth be told, Jason hadn’t been doing much of it at all. She was getting used to his one word answers. In fact, she wondered how long it would take those one word answers to become silent nods once again.

Jason dried off his hands, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then proceeded to the front door, closing it softly behind him.

"Um, okay. The, uh, the talking thing…? When exactly did that happen?" Trisha said, looking to Elizabeth for explanation.

Elizabeth shrugged, her eyes fixated on the closed door.

"I'll be right back," she told Trisha, feeling her eyes on her.

“Hey, Elizabeth?”

“Yeah?”

“Take your time. I’m sure you two have… I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“Okay.”

She exited the house through the front door.

___

Elizabeth stepped out the door just when the limo was approaching. The door opened and Sonny stepped out, followed by a young boy who looked hauntingly familiar...

Sonny, noticing Elizabeth, smiled and put his hand on Dominic's shoulder, urging him forward. "Elizabeth, this is Dominic. Dominic, this is my good friend Elizabeth."

Sonny smiled reassuringly and Elizabeth took the cue, returning it.

"I'll let the two of you get acquainted. I've got to talk to Jason. Excuse me, please."

"Sure," Elizabeth said.

Sonny walked off, heading to the garage, leaving them alone.

Elizabeth had always been good with kids. For whatever reason, they seemed to like her. Maybe it was because she was so small and not intimidating. Or maybe it was because she didn’t talk down to them. Whatever the reason, she’d always had plenty of work babysitting as a result.

Elizabeth bent down, only slightly, to put her at eye level with the young boy. She smiled encouragingly. "Hi! It’s Dominic, right?"

The boy looked at her through near-black eyes—eyes that were wide with an emotion Elizabeth couldn't pin down—a beautiful onyx color she’d love to paint.

After a moment the boy shook his head and responded. "Uh, yeah. Hi," he said, touching the side of his face as if he could feel Elizabeth's bruised skin as his own. "W-what happened to your face?"

Elizabeth touched her cheek, remembering her injuries. A breeze kicked up and she shivered involuntarily. She crossed her arms over her chest to protect herself and struggled to find the words to explain. "I... Well, um…"

Dominic continued to look at Elizabeth with an intensity that didn't quite sit right. He touched his own lip making Elizabeth aware that, out of habit, she'd bitten her lip and caused it to bleed again. She didn't even feel the pain.

"Did Sonny do that?"

"Sonny?" Elizabeth asked, confused.

And then something clicked. This was a boy that knew too much. Had, possibly, seen more than a child ever should. This was a kid she could relate to. The one pervading thought was that she had to make him feel safe. She had to explain that this place and the people that inhabited it were not to be feared. That nothing and no one was going to hurt him here. "Oh, no, honey! Sonny would never hurt anyone, especially not a woman."

Dominic looked at the ground, his shoulders slumping.

Elizabeth, sensing that the boy needed to be comforted, placed her hand on his shoulder. Crouching down so they were completely at eye level, she put all her focus on him. But he kept his eyes to the ground. "Hey, you okay, sweetie?"

He nodded, but Elizabeth wasn't convinced.

"Is something wrong?" she coaxed, gently.

"No," he said.

Slowly, his eyes met hers.

Elizabeth offered a slight smile, trying to encourage him. She knew exactly where the conversation was headed; she'd lived it herself.

"It's okay to tell me. I won't tell anyone."

Dominic seemed to weigh this, his hand reached out, and, hesitantly, he touched the side of Elizabeth's face. His fingers were small and cold from the weather and the lack of mittens.

"Sometimes my mom had bruises like this," he said, his voice low, gravelly.

Elizabeth nodded, taking his hand and rubbing it between her own to help warm it up.

He was undersized, underweight and scrappy. Sonny told her that he was a smart-aleck and, from what the Sisters had said, he was a bit of a troublemaker. He told lies and pulled pranks and didn’t get along with some of the other children. And yet, there was depth and wisdom in his eyes that was heartbreakingly pure. A softness he tried very hard to hide.

No one was perfect. Hell, Elizabeth had been prone to the same mistakes in her youth… And it wasn’t out of malice or callousness but because no one paid attention to her otherwise. Looking at Dominic, she wondered how long it had been since someone had praised him. Or how long it had been since someone had simply asked him how his day had been. Or read him a bedtime story. Or, simply, noticed him at all.

Her chest felt constricted. He was just a little boy. A little boy, that was too precious and too young, to deserve to be forgotten already.

She reached for his other hand and felt that it was just as cold. She’d have to do something about that. For now, she kissed the back of it and let it drop to his side. "No one's going to hurt you here. I promise."

In that instant, a bond formed. It had developed out of nowhere, but it didn't feel foreign or strange when Elizabeth wrapped him in her arms and hugged him tightly. She ran her fingers through his hair, her fingers tangling in the curls at the back. Dominic responded, hugging her back and surprising Elizabeth with the intensity. Tears pricked her eyes. It was like he hadn't had any kind of affection in years.

She wanted to cry, but she held in her tears for fear he would see and wouldn’t understand. She didn’t want to frighten him. This was a special kid. Elizabeth already felt protective.

God, she hoped Sonny knew what he was doing.

_____

Sonny stepped into the garage, rubbing his hands together to keep warm.

Jason was crouched over his motorcycle.

"The bike not running right again?"

Jason looked up. "No."

"You think someone's been tampering with it, don't you? I can get Johnny or Francis to watch the house if you think it could get worse."

Jason shook his head, his eyes darting over Sonny's shoulder to the house. "I don't think we have to worry yet."

"Yet?"

"He's not desperate yet. When he gets desperate…" Jason said, finally taking his eyes off the house and meeting Sonny's stare, "that's when we worry."

___

Elizabeth led Dominic inside.

Trisha looked up when the pair entered the room. “Hey, who’s the kid?” she said, through a mouthful of cake.

“Trisha, play nice.”

“Can’t a girl ask a question?”

“This is Dominic,” Elizabeth said, pulling out a chair for him.

“Nice to meet ya, Squirt.”

Dominic looked at Elizabeth for reassurance. “She’s harmless, really,” she said, giving Trisha the eye. Unconsciously, her line of sight went to the door. She wondered what it was Jason and Sonny were talking about.

Trisha eyed Dominic suspiciously. “Does he talk? Because I so cannot handle another non-talker.”

“I can talk,” he piped up.

“Ah, so you can,” she said, smiling. “So, kid, how do you feel about chocolate cake?”

“I like it.”

“Good, I think you’ll fit in just fine here.”

Elizabeth’s eyes fell back to the door. “I’ll just let the two of you get acquainted. You don’t mind do you?”

“Nah, me and the miniature can entertain ourselves. I wasn’t voted favorite camp counselor 4 years in a row for nothing. I have mad skills when it comes to dealing with the age-challenged. You go ahead. Do what you have to do.”

“Okay, thank you. Oh, and Trisha? Be on your best behavior, okay?”

“Aren’t I always?” she said, busying herself by pouring a glass of milk and getting a slice of cake for Dominic.

_______

Elizabeth nearly ran smack into Sonny when she opened the door.

“Sorry, Elizabeth. Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said, trying to calm the fast beating of her heart. “Uh… I, um, I brought Dominic inside. It was so cold and his hands were like ice. He’s in there with Trisha.”

“I better hurry then. Lord knows what that kid will get into while unsupervised…”

“I’m assuming you mean Trisha.”

“Of course,” Sonny said, smiling. “Anyway, thanks for looking after Dominic.”

“It was no problem. He seems like a cool kid.”

“He does, doesn’t he?”

Elizabeth nodded and watched Sonny head into the house.

She kept it in mind to talk to Sonny later about her conversation with Dominic, but for now she had other business to deal with.

_____

Elizabeth watched Jason curiously from the corner of her eye. She’d come to think of the garage as his space. The one place he could go to in order to find some solitude. And wasn’t she was always invading his privacy? Is that how he saw it? Did he go there to get away from her? And she just kept following him around like a lost little puppy? God, she hoped not.

She debated whether to speak or to let them remain in the silence that always seemed to surround them. He was either too busy fiddling with the motorcycle to notice her or was ignoring her on purpose.

Nervously, she grabbed at the zipper on her sweater.

Everything that had happened that night had come back to her slowly. The things she had tried to filter out reemerged and she was having a hard time processing it all.

Jason had rescued her. He’d been there when she needed him the most. How did a person thank someone for that? Was it even possible?

She wanted to. Wanted to tell him how grateful she was. She had tried. But a simple thank you didn’t seem enough. But the thing that she wanted most…the thing that wouldn’t let her rest, was that she wanted to touch him. Just to make sure that this was all real. That someone, someone that had never uttered a single word to her, had not only saved her life, but had broken a vow that was important and spiritual. A vow that he’d kept for more than two years. Just to say her name.

And she had never heard anything more beautiful.

That’s what kept her going through all this. That, in the middle of something tragic, a vile and incomprehensible act, it was Jason’s voice that broke through and kept her from going to the very dark place in her mind that kept taunting her. It was his voice, and one word, that made it okay.

She wanted to somehow put all those feelings into words. But, the right words, the words that would make the most sense, and grasp exactly what she meant, didn’t seem to exist. There were no words for how she felt about him and what he’d done.

So, there were all these feelings and these urges, but she remained motionless. Somehow the part of her brain that controlled her feet had stopped functioning. And she wondered, idly, why her motor skills were out-of-whack whenever he was within five feet.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Uh, hi,” she squeaked out.

At least her voice was working. Kind of.

Jason looked up. “Hi.”

Chills ran down her spine and curled her toes. She closed her eyes, relishing in the timeless sound of his voice. Who knew that the word “hi” could be so alluring?

Why was this so hard? She’d talked to Jason a bunch of times and never had she felt this kind of pressure. Of course, now that he talked back, it made things a little harder. She’d thought, before, that if Jason could only respond to her with words, they wouldn’t have so many misunderstandings. But reality was proving to be the opposite. Their communication skills seemed to have been compromised.

And maybe it was because she felt herself holding back. Felt herself clamming up whenever they were in the same room.

Because now he could tell her to shut up if he wanted to. Or to just leave him alone, if that’s what he wanted. He could tell her everything he’d been feeling but unable to express before. And she was so scared, so very scared, that what he had to say wasn’t what she desperately wanted to hear…

She wanted it all to mean just as much to him as it did to her. Those unrelenting looks between them had spoke volumes, but now his eyes didn’t say a damn thing. She wanted those back. She wanted it all back… The looks. The simple touches. The dance. She wanted it to matter.

“I, um, I wanted to thank you,” she sputtered.

“You already--”

“Please,” she said, keeping her eyes downcast.

Slowly she lifted her head until their eyes met and held.

Jason nodded, signaling for her to continue.

“What you did for me… No one has ever… I’m not very good at this,” she said, dejected.

Jason watched her closely, seeing the way she shifted her weight from foot-to-foot and how her hands were shaking--just enough for it to be noticeable to his trained eyes.

Elizabeth brushed the hair out of her eyes and concentrated on a spot of oil on the cold garage floor. “I just… I want you to know that I will never forget what you did.”

“Okay,” he said.

Elizabeth fought her desire to bite her lip. Now what?

Jason cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?” he said, surprising her.

“Go ahead.”

He scratched behind his ear and took a deep breath.

Whatever was coming wasn’t going to be comfortable.

She braced herself.

Here it was. The rejection. The polite request for her eternal absence.

“When you were being atta--” he stopped, shaking his head. He paused, searching for the right word. “When I found you…,” he clarified, raising his eyebrows. “You said, “not again.” And you were scared, Elizabeth. Terrified. You had every right to be, but it was something more. Has… Did something…like this, happen to you before?”

The tears collected quickly, too quickly for her to stop their descent down her pale cheeks.

She nodded.

Jason closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. She watched his jaw tick before he opened his eyes again and made eye contact.

She wasn’t sure what she saw looking back at her.

“I was fifteen,” she whispered. “I was so stupid, Jason.”

“Elizabeth--”

“No, I want to… Tell you. You know, get it out there,” she said, hoping she sounded stronger than she felt.

And then she looked at him.

She saw it in his eyes. Understanding. Compassion.

Suddenly, she had all the strength she needed to continue.

“Okay,” he said, quietly.

“He was a lot older. And I liked him. I liked him a lot,” she said, rolling her eyes and wiping her cheeks. “I was so young… Too young. But, of course, I thought I knew everything! I guess I didn’t know enough…”

Elizabeth leaned against the work bench. She shook her head in remembrance.

The first time she’d laid eyes on him, she developed an instant crush. He was tall and handsome and his smile was always directed at her. He didn’t seem to mind that they were ten years apart when they flirted… Didn’t seem to care that she wasn’t as grown up as she pretended to be…

“He worked for my father. He was an intern. So he was always at the house, running personal errands for my dad,” she said, recalling his constant visits.

She used to put on her bathing suit and watch them work from the pool. And he always found time to come out and say hi. Sometimes the way he looked at her scared her, but she’d always push it down. Maybe if she hadn’t…

“Wow, this is…This is hard,” she whispered, running her sleeve over her face to mop up any tears.

Jason took a step forward, wanting to comfort her. When she looked up, briefly meeting his eye, he thought better of it and stepped back. "You don’t have to. I shouldn’t have…”

“No, I want to,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “And I think… I think I need to.”

She watched his reaction, but there wasn’t one. His eyes were still fixed on her face, and they were unreadable. She wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. And if, what she was going to tell him, would change the way he looked at her. She didn’t want that. It broke her heart to even think about the possibility. But she wanted to be honest. Had to be.

“He seemed nice. And he paid attention to me. I wasn't used to that. I-I didn’t really ever have that before,” she said, sparing another glance at him.

This time she could tell he was a little confused.

“See, my father’s, like, this really important business man—well, I mean he’s a doctor, too, but he doesn’t really have a practice anymore. See he develops—you know what? It doesn’t matter what he does. I mean, either way—doctor or business man—he’s still really important, and he still never had the time... He wasn’t a real “family man.” Well, unless my brother was involved. He…he always had time for Steven. So, I was used to being in the background. I was jealous. I wanted someone in my life that put me first. And, Tom--that was his name, Tom. He made me feel…special, you know? I liked to hang around and flirt with him… But he took it too far. Or maybe I did,” she said, reflectively.

“One day they were drinking and he came to my room… Then he...he just... I couldn't stop him, Jason. I tried, but he was so heavy. I tried, I did. I kept telling him no, but he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't stop...”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She dared not look at Jason for fear of how his eyes had changed. She didn’t want to see pity there.

“No one wanted to touch me after the rape--at least that’s what I made myself believe. I was starved for affection and I guess that's why I started staying out late and getting into trouble,” she said, laughing, not humorously.

She didn’t remember everything about those long nights spent at parties and clubs and bars, dressed in scraps of clothing, occasionally she went home with men she didn’t really know, creating an illusion of false intimacy. And spending the next day curled up in a ball in her closet. She wanted to break the cycle, but giving in was so much easier.

“People started to take notice. I-I wasn't invisible anymore. I liked feeling important…feeling like I mattered. I was reckless. I took stupid risks. Because I thought…I thought that if I put myself out there, if I made it my choice, then it would all be okay. I could stop whatever it was that might happen. I didn’t leave things to chance. After a while I just crashed. My dad sent me to live with my grandmother and I’ve been here ever since."

She remembered the bus ride to her grandmother’s house. A man had sat down beside her and she’d pushed herself tight against the window seat, not wanting any part of him to touch her. She didn’t want any man to touch her ever again. And when her grandmother had hugged her at the bus depot, commenting on her low-rise top and short skirt, she felt dirty and cheap.

The first days were the hardest. There were so many rules and so much expectation. She didn’t think she’d ever live up to her grandmother’s ideals.

Dance class started a week into her stay. It was horrible. Unbearable, sometimes. All these strange men, leading her around the dance floor, their sweaty palms soaking into her clothing and their breath hot on her skin.

And then there was etiquette class and cotillion; fundraisers and hospital parties; volunteering and a waitress job. God, she’d been the worst waitress Kelly’s had ever seen when she first started! If she didn’t get along with Bobbie so well, she would have been fired for sure. She was almost positive that the only reason she got the job in the first place was because she felt sorry for her.

Summer passed quickly and soon she started school. There was no one to talk to and most of the time she liked it that way. Life was less complicated without friends. Besides, she’d never really had many at home. She ate lunch alone. Studied alone. Existed alone.

Then she met Lucky. They got stuck being lab partners and he told her a stupid joke—a now-typical Lucky joke. He bungled up the punch-line and she called him an idiot. But he made it okay for her to laugh again. And so begun their friendship.

Elizabeth released a slow breath. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained. "Whew, that was heavy. I didn’t think I was going to share all that.”

“Are you okay?” Jason said.

She nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.”

Once again silence fell upon them. Elizabeth studied Jason’s features. He was so strong and yet there was something so gentle in his eyes. “Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“You still don't talk much," she said quietly. "Is it because of me? Don't--don't you like me?"

She picked up her zipper again, on reflex, trapping it between her fingers before she pulled it up and finally let it go. She hadn't realized how afraid of his answer she was until the question popped out of her mouth.

Jason's head shot up and he fixed his gaze on hers. He stood, wiping his hands on a rag and taking a step forward. When he spoke, it was slow and sort of melodic like a sad jazz song. "It's been such a long time since I've spoken, that I guess… I just kind of got used to it and forget sometimes that it's okay. It doesn't have anything to do with you. I-I like you. I like you a lot, Elizabeth," he told her shyly.

The way he said her name made her feel so safe, and oddly enough, strong. No one could get to her. Not Dr. Sharpy. Not that psycho Paul Callahan. Not even her past could bother her. No, when she was here, with him, and he said her name so softly, the way he did the first time, she felt like an entirely different person.

She felt, for once, like herself.

"I like you too, Jason." She watched him blush and it touched her. He was unlike anyone she had ever met and she wondered if she would be able to forget him ever. Somewhere deep inside, she knew he had more than begun to matter to her... Somewhere, deep down where she didn't want to acknowledge it, she knew she was falling in love with him. "I hope you don't think I'm rude for asking…and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but...why did you take on a vow of silence? I mean, I know when you started it, but why?"

Jason took in a deep breath, his chest rose, filling with air and it made him look indestructible, like no matter what, nothing would ever get to him. "Silence teaches self-discipline. When I'm not talking, I can listen. You'd be amazed at how things sound when you actually take the time to hear them. It wasn't just that though... In a way, I was punishing myself."

"Punishing yourself? For what?" Elizabeth was intrigued.

"For being selfish," he stated flatly. "When I lost my Uncle, I took a look at myself and didn’t like what I saw." A pregnant pause and then, "I just want to be a good person, Elizabeth."

She scrunched her nose up and eyed him. "A good person? But you are, Jason. I can tell that you are."

He laughed softly. "You think so? I’m not as sure."

She smiled. "I just have a way with people. You try to be distant and uncaring but I can see in your eyes that you're not the type of person who would walk away from a friend. You respect Sonny and that says a lot about you."

"How so?"

"He's a good man, so that must mean you are, too. And you were there for me when I really needed you. I think I know enough," she stated.

"No, you don't," he said and he sounded very far away. He turned to her, his eyes losing all humor. "I've never wanted to kill anyone, Elizabeth. But when I saw you laying there... What he did... What he would have done… I wanted to kill him. So don't say I'm a good person when I'm capable of thoughts like that."

"You don't think I wanted to hurt him just as badly?! Jason, you'll never be able to measure how much you did for me that night. You saved me!"

"But you're afraid of me... Even after...this." He looked right at her, didn't blink and didn't even think of turning away.

Elizabeth was silent--stunned that she was so transparent. "I'm not afraid of you," she denied.

"Every time I get near you, you flinch away. If that isn't fear, what is it?"

The tension was thick. Elizabeth remained silent. Her heart was beating very fast in her chest and she felt a little dizzy. "I wouldn't have…kissed you…if I was afraid," she pointed out.

"There were times when you pulled away when I got near you." He took a step forward for emphasis and she unconsciously backed away, catching herself at the last second.

"Okay, so maybe you scare me a bit, but not so much since... Maybe even before then."

Jason raked his hand through his hair. He tilted his head to the side, searching her face. "What is it about me that makes you afraid?"

"It’s not just you. Ever since… All men sort of scare me.”

“You’re lying. What about Sonny? Max? Francis and Johnny?”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because I don’t… They’re friends.”

“And I’m not?”

Elizabeth met his stare, recognizing the burst of hurt screaming in his eyes.

“You’re…complicated. How I feel about you… It’s not always easy to trust myself. Look, Jason, it was hard getting to know you when you didn’t speak, and, yeah, sometimes I don't understand you,” she admitted. “Sometimes…you make me nervous. It's human nature to fear the things we don't understand, isn't it?"

"I'd never hurt you, Elizabeth. I hope you know that," he said, sincerely.

"I do."

"But you're still afraid?"

His eyes met hers and it nearly took her breath away to see the icy blue thawed and replaced with a magnificent azure. "No, not really," she replied breathily

"You seem unsure."

She sighed. "I guess I'm still trying to figure you out."

"Elizabeth?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you scare me a little, too," Jason told her softly and then walked across the room retrieving a tool, leaving Elizabeth in stunned silence.

Jason easily switched his focus back to the bike.

She wondered if that was a tactic to end their conversation.

"If I had been a little later...” he mumbled, so low she had to strain to hear him, “I never want to see you hurt again."

"Jason," she said, waiting for him to look at her. "I don't want to be alone tonight. Can I stay here?" she asked shyly.

Jason's eyes widened and his voice got caught in his throat.

"I wouldn't ask...except that every time I go home to my empty studio and close my eyes all I can see is his face."

Jason's eyes softened, giving away his innate weakness for her. "He won't hurt you anymore, Elizabeth," he said softly, loving the way her name rolled off his tongue. "Stay…as long as you need."

__________

Trisha agreed to help Liz pack up a few things to bring back to Sonny and Jason’s. For once she didn’t razz her about her relationship with Jason.

They took a cab to her studio. Sonny had offered them a ride, but Elizabeth didn’t want to disrupt the limited time he had with Dominic. There was something magnetic about their interaction.

They got out of the cab and Elizabeth turned to the driver and said, "I just have to pick up a few things."

The driver grunted a reply and continued to stare out the window.

"Who pissed in his cornflakes?" Trisha snickered while they took the stairs leading to the apartment.

Elizabeth forced a laugh. Digging around in her purse, she produced a key and opened the door. The first thing she felt when she walked through the door was shock.

Lucky was down on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor. Giant suds foamed around him and the rest of the floor was shiny from where it'd been cleaned.

"You cleaned?" she said, flabbergasted.

"Yeah...well," Lucky answered shyly.

Lucky wasn’t always good with words, especially when it came to emotional situations.

"I had Spence clean it. He'll do anything for me. It's great. Right?" Trisha bragged.

"Whatever you say," Lucky answered, wiping up the suds.

Elizabeth took the few steps to where Lucky was. He stood slowly, stretching his back and smiling.

"Lucky, it looks great! Thank you."

She gently hugged him and he returned it fully, holding her a little too close.

Lucky pulled away and smiled sheepishly. "Man, this place was a mess. You're lucky I'm your oldest, dearest friend, otherwise I would have given up a long time ago."

"Thanks, Spence, it means a lot."

"Are you really okay, Lizzie?" he whispered when he hugged her again, this time more gently.

Elizabeth plastered on a fake smile. "Better than okay. Don't worry."

She hurried around the small studio, stuffing a suitcase full of clothes and a box full of art supplies. She didn’t bother being self-conscious about the curious looks from her friends.

Elizabeth didn’t really own a lot of material possessions and by the time she stopped packing, half her life was sitting by the door waiting to be taken to the monastery.

“Jeez, are you staying for a few days or moving in?” Lucky asked, amused.

Elizabeth offered him a bashful smile.

“It’s a girl thing,” Trisha offered.

“Yeah, what she said,” Elizabeth agreed, shooting Trisha a grateful wink.

“Women!”

_________

Sonny was in transit, bringing Dominic home, when Elizabeth and her suitcases landed on the doorstep. She knocked softly and stepped back.

Nervous energy knotted up her stomach. What was she doing? Had she really thought this through? And why had she packed so much? Maybe Lucky wasn’t totally off-base when he asked if she was moving in. Practically everything she owned rested on either side of her feet. Maybe this was a mistake.

Before she had a chance to hightail it out of there Jason answered the door, startling her out of her thoughts.

And then it was like everything fell into place.

“Hi,” she said, brushing her hair out of her eyes and looking up at him. “I brought my stuff.” She indicated the bags at her feet and spared another glance his way.

He wasn’t looking at her.

“I might have over-packed just a little,” she divulged, shrugging.

Jason remained silent, bending down and picking up her bags with ease. He led her inside.

She followed closely, contemplating, once again, this new arrangement. “Jason,” she said, unsure, letting his name hang in the air, even while she trailed behind him up the stairs and down a long hallway.

In the middle of the hall she ceased to move, watching his retreating form. “Jason?”

He stopped, turning around to face her. His eyes were on her. They were so blue and beautiful she nearly stopped breathing.

“Are you sure this is really okay?” she probed.

Being a man of few words, Jason simply nodded and, deciding the conversation was over, began walking toward a group of closed doors at the end of the hall.

Elizabeth just couldn’t accept that for an answer. Maybe he was just being polite when he told her she could stay. Maybe he really didn’t want her here at all. All his actions thus far weren’t exactly what she would consider inviting. “Because if it’s not—okay, I mean—I could just go stay at the dorms with Trisha. She has a roommate already, but she’s barely ever there. It wouldn’t be a big deal. If I’m imposing at all, I--”

“Elizabeth,” he said, stopping at the end of the hall, halting her movements, “It’s fine.”

“Really? Because I coul--”

“I don’t mind,” he said, gently. His hand hesitated above her shoulder before finally dropping to his side. “Sonny doesn’t mind, either. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Her gaze pinned him to the floor. Somehow he always wound up feeling exposed when she looked at him, like she could see right through him, right into the places that never got to see the light of day. In vain, he forced his eyes away. “So, uh, which room do you want?”

A soft, anxious laugh escaped her throat. “It doesn’t matter. As long as there’s a bed …or a couch, I’m good.”

“I thought, maybe…” He walked over to the last door on the right, opening the door. “This room is nice.”

Elizabeth walked past him, stepping inside the room.

The faint scent of cherry blossoms lingered in the air. Jason closed his eyes.

It was the most girl-friendly room in the whole house. Better yet it was farthest away from his room. Not that he didn’t want Elizabeth close… But it was too risky. Farther was better. There was less temptation this way. He didn’t even like that he was tempted. That he thought about Elizabeth in ways that were far from chaste. That he imagined doing things to her and with her…

But he was a man. And human. And he had eyes. How could someone look at her and not think about doing those things?

And that, right there, made him feel sick. He was no better than the animal that attacked her when she was barely a teenager and the jerk from the other night. But he couldn’t deny it any longer. He did want her. He wanted to be with her. Because all they had was the here and now. Who knew what tomorrow would bring? And he was so tired of pushing her away.

“Jason?”

His eyes blinked open and he focused on Elizabeth, pushing down any inappropriate thoughts. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Fine.”

“Ok-ay. It’s just… You kind of zoned out.”

“I was just…thinking.”

Elizabeth shrugged it off and took her first good look at the space. She noticed the feminine touches in the room immediately. The rest of the house was flanked in rich, bold masculine colors and furniture that was oversized and brazen--like men tend to be--and all the accessories were testosterone-testing displays in chrome and stainless steel. This room, though, was a light shade of purple, lavender almost, and the furniture was beautiful and dainty. There was a vanity against one of the walls and the bed was a beautiful mahogany four poster.

Jason tried not to stare. Tried, being the operative word. Elizabeth’s hair was in this twisty kind of ponytail, exposing the expanse of her neck. It swished when she moved, even made a little noise that brought a smile to his face. And she wasn’t wearing any makeup. It made her look really young. No one would have suspected what happened to her a few nights ago if it wasn’t for the harsh bruises on her cheek and the scab on her lip.

“Wow. This is really nice.” Elizabeth climbed onto the bed, stretching her arms out and feeling the wonderful way the down comforter molded to her body.

Jason watched her bounce down on the bed, unable to ignore the way her body looked swallowed up in the thick blankets. Her breasts rose and fell with her even breaths. It was wrong. Wrong to look at her like that, especially after what she’d been through.

Walking over to the window, Jason put half the room between them. He needed to physically distance himself from her right now. “There’s, uh, the view.”

“What?” she said, rising up on her elbows.

“The, um,” he said, swallowing hard, “the view is really great from this, uh, this window.”

Elizabeth climbed off the bed and stood beside him. There was a slight draft coming from the window and she crossed her arms around her middle. Jason stood tall beside her and she could feel the heat emanating off his body. Something inside of her clenched and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from moving closer. “Oh, wow, you’re right.”

His hands were moving before he gave them permission to, resting them on her shoulders and gently guiding Elizabeth closer. “Yeah. If you just…tilt your head a little, you can make out the, uh, the bridge.”

Distractedly, she scanned outside, looking for the bridge that led to nowhere. There. Far in the distance, covered in fog and mystery, she saw the stone pathway. “It’s beautiful.”

Jason’s fingers slipped from her shoulders. He tucked his hands in his pockets and his eyes slid to the floor. “I’ll, um… I’ll let you get settled.”

He was moving before she even got a chance to turn around. When she did, his back was facing her and she could see the tension in his stance. “Jason?”

He stopped, turned around. His eyes were penetrating.

Throat dry, she could barely make words form. Her voice came out as a whisper. “Thanks.”

Jason’s face took on a mottled red glow. “It’s not a big deal.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “It is to me.”