Well poppets, here we are again at that tinsel time of year when everyone is gay, gay, gay, even the ramrod people! Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet when the buttons on our leather love pants refuse to fasten and not just because of the turkey and stuffing consumed, but because of the consuming done with other things resulting in gross swelling in that area...my Christmas message is moderation in all things, by all means stuff the turkey, but be kind when you give him the bums rush on Boxing Day. Ciao and Merry Festivities.
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Flog Well Flog Responsibly: Remember to have a safe word ready to yell in your own ear and to  get your own consent before you start self flogging.



Dear Nowell,

My Top is the very epitome of kindness and consideration, he never fails to hug me after a mild spanking or paddling, he never, ever shouts or loses his temper, he never unjustly punishes me or threatens me with public punishment, and therein lies the crux of my problem. I want him to be brutish and more domineering, I want him to flog me, beat me, pull my hair, wax my bikini line and cane me without mercy, preferably while I'm naked in the confectionary aisle in Tesco on a busy Saturday. How can I let him know that his discipline isn't tough enough without hurting his feelings.

Panting for REAL punishment.
Norman.

Dearest panting for it naughty Norman,

My, my, you are a little pain pirate aren't you? I suppose you could try subtle methods of broaching the subject of increasing intensity of punishment, such as filing your nails or reading a book during an otk session, it might alert him to the fact that he isn't getting across to you. You could approach him directly, tell him that his punishments are just not severe enough, it might be that he himself is longing to cane your arse until it blisters, but is afraid that you just couldn't take it and might even think it slightly abusive. Buy a copy of BDSM monthly, the December issue has a pair of free spring loaded nipple clamps, leave it lying around on the Coffee table where he's sure to come across it. You never know, come Boxing Day Tesco's confectionary aisle might be ringing with the sounds of your screams as your Top mercilessly flogs you with a Walnut Whip, we can only hope.

Kisses and hopes for a prosperous and painful New Year...Nowell. xxx
Nowell Cowardice: Agony Queen to the DP Scene.
Dear Mr Cowardice,

First of all I love watching you on the X Factor, even though you are a bit of a bitchy old queer. Anyway, moving on to my problem: I have been in a discipline relationship for almost thirty years and yet my Top still insists that consent is affirmed whenever discipline, or in fact anything comes up. It’s getting on my nerves. We discussed the matter of consent when we got together, I see no need to keep going over and over it, we met in Master Bates Discipline Dungeon, we live in a discipline relationship, for heavens sake doesn’t that imply a kind of root consensus? He says things like: I’m going to spank you, if that’s all right with you of course Kevin, I do have your permission don’t I, you are in agreement with this punishment, you do understand what it means don’t you, only I don’t want you to feel abused? Then he makes me sign a consent form so he can release the paddle for action. I just want him to get on with things without dredging over the same dreary ground time and again. It’s getting to the point where I’m considering spanking myself because it will be less hassle.

Yours truly,

Irritated of Warminster.

Dear irritable Kev,

First of all, you silly boy, I do not do the X Factor, that’s Simon Cowell, not Noel Cowardice, no wonder your Top feels a need to have you affirm consent if you get confused so easily. That said, I can see why you might feel rather annoyed by your Top’s penchant for constantly guarding his rear before slapping yours, so to speak, in case of any back lash should you decide to sue after a spanking in a fit of pique, claiming it to be non-consensual. The point your over-conscientious, slightly neurotic, over PC Top seems to be missing is that the issue of consent doesn’t need to be addressed each and every time the need for punishment arises, not if the rules and expectations that make up the foundation of the relationship you have both opted to live in have been addressed from the beginning, as you say they have, ergo…if you freely choose to live in a certain kind of society or relationship, you are bound by its rules and thus any penalties that arise from the breaking of those rules. Thereafter one need not keep churning over whether a punishment is consented to. I suggest you call your Top’s bluff. Next time he asks if he has your consent, say no and see what happens. It might just pull him up short and make him think a bit, and then you can take the opportunity to discuss the matter and air your grievances with his approach, reminding him of the fact that when you got together you agreed that he be in charge and you would abide by his ruling and thus he doesn't need to keep seeking consent at every subsequent turn. For a Christmas gift I suggest you present your Top with a gift voucher for an assertiveness refresher course at The Strict Top’s Academy.

Hugs…N.C…who has the X Factor, but does not appear on it.