Timmy's Dog

You open the door of your apartment early in the morning, but there's a car parked so close to the doorway that you have to climb over the vehicle on your stomach just to get outside. But this has not much more to do with the rest of the article except to get you in the mood. Now you're walking down the sidewalk to get to work (this has everything to do with the article). An average city dweller, you hope to get from point A to point B as effortlessly and quickly as you can. But you find yourself following three toddling people who are totally oblivious to your existence in spite of your exaggerated flurry of hacks and coughs, not to mention a rousing round of 'Please Release Me'. You just can't seem to find the seam - even though you're an experienced football player - and adding 30 seconds of quality time to your life doesn't quite present itself as something that would warrant bowling everyone over. But you find a long stick, and you use it to pole-vault over the row of parked motorcycles. "I'm free," you jubilate in a Roger Daltrey sort of way, and you veer back to the inside lane closest to all the shops, the one furthest from the gaseous street emissions. Yet just as you regain your momentum, a man suddenly emerges from a doorway without as much as having taken a peek to see if anyone (or anything on two wheels) might not be coming by. You have no choice but to take evasive action, and you execute a truly impressive flying stutter-step pirouette. You've never imagined this could be possible, so your rage becomes pride, even if the man whose injury you've just averted hasn't noticed any of this. "God, I'm good," you think to yourself, and you continue on your merry way. Up ahead, though, it looks like there might be trouble. Several people are all bunched up together, approaching you in a herd. Perhaps they haven't anticipated your trajectory. Perhaps they're too deep in conversation to perceive that yes, you're coming, and yes, there will have to be space. Then it happens. That awkward moment. We're all here. At the same time. You all smile unconvincingly and everyone ambles clumsily around one another until the pass has finally been made. You finally reach the intersection where you work, and you're waiting to cross the street. But you notice something kind of strange. A woman is standing, not on the sidewalk, but on the street, waiting to cross it. And not just one baby step off the curb, either. She's right out there, right in the path of speeding automobiles all of which are swerving to avoid her so they can make their right turns around her. Of course, she doesn't even notice. She always does this. She's not dead yet (when she pinches herself, it hurts, she's tried), so standing on the street must be okay. Approaching the door of the building where you work, there is of course a line of motorcycles blocking your way. There is only one small space between two of those bikes through which to pass. You approach that little space, but a woman on the other side has gotten there first, so naturally you give way and let her proceed. Just as she has walked through, you go to do the same - when someone comes from behind and butts through ahead of you. This Johnny-come-lately wouldn't have given that woman her right of way. In fact, it would never have crossed his mind that she'd be ethically entitled to it. Now, after I mentioned the parked car at the beginning of this article, I could have progressed from parked ones to moving ones and offered some observations on vehicular traffic, etc., etc. But let's not even get in the car yet. Everyone bellyaches about the driving here all the time. That's old hat. I would really like to know the root causes of general ambulatory myopia (GAM). It would seem that the patterns of vehicular traffic are a replication of the self-centered pedestrian ambulation I participate in every day. Another's intended rate of progress, for example, is irrelevant. If someone else is in a hurry, I don't have to care. In fact, it's okay to get in their way. No matter how fast they're going, they'll slow down for me. And who cares how much I inconvenience them? It's not as if I know them or anything. If we're all coming for each other, moreover, can we be blamed for not anticipating the inevitable jam ahead? We're not traffic, after all, we're just some people thrown into it. The right of way is the way we take. Whatever happens after that, it's not our responsibility, is it now?

Click Below to Visit the Taipei Stalker Club Guide

LINKS:

Taipei Stalker Home Page www.taiwanho.com www.oriented.org