Hey  !!!

You  Know  You're  Drinking

Too  Much  Coffee

When....

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You answer the door before people knock.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to crochet.

You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this month.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated Coffee is the Devil's Blend."
You can type sixty words per minute... with your toes..
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You don't need a hammer to pound nails.

You don't sweat, you perk.
You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
Your kids think you need to calm down.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.
Your coffee mug is insured.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You name your web pages "Cream and "Sugar."
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

• You can actually keep up with your kids.
  You short out motion detectors.
  Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after
  Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
  You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
  You don't tan, you roast.

  Take me back to The Coffee Pot NOW !!!

You are friend number