Lila Iyomakpi yelo. Ata Ihakela wayelo!
A Sicangu gets pulled over in Pine Ridge for speeding 88 MPH in a 45 zone. The cop asks for his drivers license and the Sicangu says, "I'm sorry officer, but my license was suspended after my 5th DUI."
The cop asks for his registration and the Sicangu` says, "It's in the glove compartment, but it's not in my name because I stole this car in a car jacking and I killed the woman that owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk and the gun I used is in the glove compartment. At this point the cop tells the guy to keep his hands in sight and he radios for back-up.
When a supervisor shows up, the cop tells him the story and he walks up to the Sicangu in the car. The supervisor asks to see the Sicangu's drivers license and he hands it over and it is valid with the Sicangu's real name and information.
The supervisor asks for the registration and the Sicangu says, "It's in the Glove compartment." The supervisor tells him to keep his hands in sight and walks around to the passenger side and opens the glove compartment. There is the registration in the Sicangu's name and everything seems in order.
Next the supervisor asks him to get out and open the trunk. The Sicangu opens the trunk and the only thing there is a spare tire.
At this point the supervisor tells the him what the other cop had told him. The Sicangu says "I'll bet that lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding too!"
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A terribly overweight Oglala went to IHS to be put on a diet.
The Doc said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the Oglala returned two weeks later, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Oglala said, " yeah, but I tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from tha' skipping."
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Don't Eat @ Prairie Wind Casino!
At Prairie Winds Casino, the waiter brought the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
The customer yelled, "Are you crazy? You have your hand on my steak!"
The waiter answered, "You want it to fall on the floor again!?"
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Three Oglala's in a Bar...
Three Oglala's were in a bar and spotted a Sicangu.
They decided to have fun with the Sicangu guy. One of the Oglalas walked over to the Sicangu, patted him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your Spotted Tail was gay."
"Oh really?...Hmm...didn't know that," said the Sicangu.
Puzzled, the Oglala walked back to his buddies. "I told him Spotted Tail was gay, and he didn't even care."
The Second Oglala said, "You just don't know how to piss him off...watch and learn!" So the 2nd Oglala walked up to the Sicangu, slapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your Spotted Tail was a transvestite!!"
"Oh really?... hmmph, didn't know that," said the Sicangu, nonchalantly.
Shocked beyond belief, the 2nd Oglala went back to his buddies.
"You're right. He must be really drunk!" said the Oglala.
The 3rd Oglala walked over to the Sicangu, hit him on the shoulder and said, "I hear Spotted Tail was an Oglala!!"
Without turning around, the Sicangu replied, "Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."
Submitted by a Sicangu/Oglala, Rosebud SD. May 2000
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Bar Room Psychology....
A very shy Sicangu guy goes into a bar and sees a Beautiful Oglala woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally the Sicangu is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the Oglala walks over to him and apologizes.
She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in Psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which the Sicangu responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!?!"
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Once Upon a Time in Rosebud...
Once Upon a time, in Rosebud, a beautiful independent, self-assured Sicangu woman, happened upon a frog as she was contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her tipi. The frog happened into the Sicangu's lap and said: "I was once a handsome Oglala, until an Iktomi cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the wonderful, young Oglala that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your tipi with my Mother, where you can prepare meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy to do so."
That Night, dining on frog and onion soup and fry bread, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so!!"
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New Twist on an Old Joke...
A secretary, a clerk and the superintendant for the local BIA office are walking across the street on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the secretary. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the clerk. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"You're next," the Genies says to the Superintendant.
The Super says, "I want those two back in to office after lunch!"
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Indian Woman's Study
An Anthropologist was conducting a study on Indian Women. At the end of his study, he gave a presentation of his results!
In the meeting, he said that according to his research, Chippewa women have a tendency to walk behind their men, letting the men lead them! Cheyenne women walked in front of their men, guiding them. The Crow women, he discovered walked beside their men.
At the end of his presentation he revealed that Lakota women, well Lakota women had the tendency to "walk all over their men"!
Source: "Jokes Heard Round the Rez" Heard and Collected by Spuka Sni Win (c) 1999
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Read the Sign!
Some Pine Ridge Oglalas were traveling to Denver, when they saw a sign that read, "Denver Left". So they turned around and went home!
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DC or Bust!
The Pine Ridge Oglala's were getting tired of everyone making fun of them,
so they decided to go to Washington DC to complain.
They were last seen in Idaho!
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What do you call 32 Pine Ridge Oglalas standing in a row?
"A full set of Teeth!"
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Why do Pine Ridge Oglalas tie only one shoe?
Because on their shoes, it says: "Taiwan!"
