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-"Why
aren't there any bullet holes in the
monuments?"
-"Did
the soldiers hide behind the monuments?"
-"How
come all of the battles were fought on National
Park Service land?"
-"Excuse
me, do you work for the railroad?"
-(Referring
to a pig roasting on a spit over a fire) "Is that
thing actually wax?"
-"Did
you fight in the Civil War?"
-"Are
you Amish?"
-"Did
the Americans win the war?"
-"During
the Battle of Gettysburg, why didn't the Union
Generals just go to the top of that big tower to
see where the Confederates were?"
-"Where
did they store the monuments when the battle was
going on?"
-"They
actually had rope back then?"
-"How
do you get all the flags to fly in the same
direction?"
-"What
does it feel like to be hit by the
bullets?"
-"Are
those horses real?"
-"Did
they shoot the drummers first?"
-"How
much is this wooden lantern, there's no price on
it...OH! I thought this was a yard
sale."
-"Is
that real water in your canteen?"
-"How
many port-a-potties did the Union buy during the
Civil War?"
-"How
come the soldiers didn't sleep in a
hotel?"
-(The
cashier at Burger King on the way home) "So did you
see General Washington today?"
-(On
a guided tour of Devil's Den and Little Round Top
at Gettysburg) "Were these rocks here during the
Civil War?"
-From
Mike F:
While working at Fort Snelling here in
Minnesota, I, along with the other musicians, had
to paint or whitewash the walls of the officers'
quarters. While doing this, a lady came up, put her
hands into the bucket of paint, and was shocked as
she pulled her hands out and said, "Ah, that's real
paint."
-From
Ben D:
My family does a civilian impression, and here
are two hilarious questions they have been asked:
(Referring to my little sister who was sleeping on
a quilt) "Is that a real baby?" Another spectator
seemed very interested and well informed, until she
asked, "Now did they have babies back
then?"
-From
John R:
One of the impressions I do is 2nd U.S.
(Berdan's) Sharpshooters, who wore green uniforms
as the mark of an elite rifle regiment. Most people
just ask me what the green uniform means, but a few
just have to guess. The ones I've had were (1)
Irish Brigade (no, they were dressed the same as
everyone else); (2) Italian mercenary (um...what?);
(3) Green Mountan Boys (sorry, wrong war); and (4)
my personal favorite, Civil War Park
Ranger.
-From
Martin G:
After lecturing a fifth grade class at my son's
school, I thought I would surprize him and say
hello to his second grade class. I was met at the
door by a young man who was his student teacher;
the man looked at me from head to toe and proceded
to ask me if I was dressed as a PILGRIM!!! Although
I find this story funny, I also find it upsetting!!
To think my seven year old knows more about the
Civil War than his teacher!
-From
Bob B:
As a youngster in the 70's, I was a tour guide
at Old Fort Mifflin in Philadelphia. The fort's
history spans from the Rev. War to WWII; during the
CW it was used as a POW camp. Today, the fort is
next to and under the flight path of the
Philadelphia Int. Airport. One day I was leading a
group around the fort telling them about the battle
of Fort Mifflin in 1777, and then a jet on its way
to Philly Int. sailed over us. After the noise
subsided, one of the adults in the group asked why
they had to build the fort so close to the
airport!
-From
Dean K:
My wife heard a woman at a recent reenactment
exclaim to her friend, "You know, those cannon
balls come out of there so fast that you just can't
see them," referring to one of our artillery pieces
that was in the process of repeatedly firing.
Naturally, my wife could not resist the opportunity
to gently remind the woman that we really weren't
actually trying to kill the Johnnies and we were
only firing powder charges. She said the woman
looked at her like she didn't believe
her.
-From
Mike B:
We have a medical unit that sets up an
'amputation' station. They have a guy who has
already lost a leg in an accident and they bring
him up in a stretcher with a fake leg from the knee
down. They make a great show of hoisting him up on
the table, holding him down and sawing off the fake
leg - fake blood squirting out around the wound,
him screaming the whole time. Then they throw it
down in a bucket. It looks pretty convincing. I was
an orderly one time, and after the guy passed out,
this woman said, "Bet they don't get many
volunteers for that part..." I thought she was
joking, but she was serious.
-From
Aimee G:
One time we had our hospital tent set up right
next to the "battlefield." As spectators neared the
battlefield, many of them stopped to have a look at
the different things we had set up on a table. One
of the things that caught many people's attention
were the "leeches" that were laying at the bottom
of a bowl. Doc had thrown a fake finger into the
mix just for fun, when a lady came up and looked
into the bowl, shocked. Suddenly she asked, "Is
that a real finger?" This question both made me
chuckle and feel slightly upset - of course it
wasn't a real finger!
-From
Matt T:
I'm a Rev. War drummer and one day our Lt.'s
son was in a period uniform and walking a dog which
the breed dates back to 1700, when a man came up to
him and asked, "Did they have dogs back then?"
Another favorite question of ours is, "Are you a
pirate?"
-From
Ed N:
Several years ago when I was in the light
artillery, I stored the cannon in my garage. We
were unloading it and pushing it into the garage
one day when a very concerned "soccer mom in SUV"
demanded to know what we were doing with a cannon
in her neighborhood. With a straight face I told
her it was part of the neighborhood watch program.
She went for it and we would have let it go, but my
pards and I were laughing so hard we had to tell
her the truth. She just left and never bothered me
again. At reenactments, when our cannon was close
to the crowd and the Rebs fired their cannon at us,
as a group we would look up into the air and follow
a phantom cannon ball by moving our heads. After a
few rounds, we had the crowd looking up and trying
to see what we were seeing.
-From
Eric G:
We were doing a living history event at
Kennesaw Mountain in Georgia. We of course get all
the normal "duh" questions like "Which side won the
war," but one lady asked us (and she was serious)
"Is this the original location of the mountain?"
Without missing a beat, our Captain told her "No
ma'am, actually in the 1930's the CCC (Civilian
Conservation Corp) moved it to its present location
from a site about 4 miles east of here." He went on
to tell her that it took approximately 35,000 dump
truck loads to complete the move. She was very
impressed to say the least. He afterwards told her
the truth.
-From
Sam H:
Our Navy Rev. War reenacting group gets alot of
pirate questions and being that our coats are blue
we get alot of people that think we are Colonial. I
thought that I had heard most of the dumb questions
when a year or two ago a lady at Colonial
Williamsburg suprised me once again. She walked up
with a young girl about 4 and was of couse telling
her all the wrong information about the camp site.
We were sitting around the camp fire and she
proceeded to the lantern next to me and asked the
girl what it was. The girl of course said a
lantern. The mom proceeded to correct her and said
no, that was what they drained their food through
to get the bugs out, I guess because there were
holes for the lights to come through.
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