Our Angel Charity's Story

In Loving Memory of
Charity Hope Davis
Became An Angel On May 13, 2003

These are two beautiful and loving gifts for Angel Charity from my dear friend, Carol, mom to Angel Michael.

Charity's Story

February 15, 2003, 2 a.m. I had purchased a pregnancy test the night before, due to the suspicion that I was pregnant again. Having to get up anyways, I thought I would take the test. I took the test, and then carried it over to the nightlight to make sure that there was not a line there. I was shocked to see that there was indeed a line. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was to no avail. I got up
and did some cleaning while my mind churned with many thoughts.

I was so shocked to be pregnant again. It had taken us four years to get Charity’s older sister Marissa, who was born May 2, 2001. Then when Marissa was 11 months old, I discovered I was pregnant again. However, I had not known I was 11 weeks along by the time I found out. Lauren was born November 18, 2002. We had two beautiful girls that had a big brother to protect them. Kyle had just turned 7 four-days before Marissa was born, and then he was 8 when Lauren
was born. Kyle is now the big brother to three sisters, two on earth, one in heaven.

Angel Charity's loving family.

Kyle and Marissa at their birthday.

DH got his birthday gift two-days before his actual birthday. He got that positive pregnancy test for a gift. He was just as shocked as I was. It took us a couple of months before we told our families. Three children under the age of three-years old was going to be a lot to take care of. We knew we would love our new baby, no matter how tough things would get. We would do our very best
for all of our children. We felt so blessed.

We can envision that Charity would look alot like Marissa and Lauren.

Angel Charity's daddy, Chad, with Lauren at Easter.

April 9, Marissa has tubes and her adenoids removed. After we got home that afternoon, I got a call from the urologist’s office. DH was to have a vasectomy at the end of May, but they had a cancellation, and they could take him in on April 11th. I called DH at work, and he took the appointment. His surgery went well. When his surgery was scheduled for May, I always had it in the back of my mind that if we lost this pregnancy, we may get lucky and be able to conceive another child before he became sterile. Since it has been moved up over a month, I knew that
there would be no other baby if we lost this one.

The day before I found I was pregnant, a dear friend from a message board found out she was pregnant also. We were so excited to be pregnant buddies. April 16th, she delivered her baby at 14 weeks. She named him Gabriel. I was so heart broke, I couldn’t even convey to her my sympathy, and I had to have someone else tell her for me. I knew in the back of my mind that I was doomed.
I don’t know why I felt like that at the time.

Angel Charity's mom, Sheri.

My pregnancy rolled along fine. We told our families around Easter that we were going to have another baby. Mother’s day was spent at DH’s dad and step-mom’s house. We had a wonderful lunch and a great visit. I was going to be the mother of four; I was feeling on top of the world.
Little did I know my baby was already dead.

Two day’s after Mother’s day, I had a regularly scheduled OB appointment. I joked with the nurses and the resident who was going to listen to the heartbeat of my baby. While she was searching she would find a heartbeat, but it was mine. She was looking in the right place, but was just not picking up the baby at all. I knew it was not a good sign. I had to wait about 5 minutes for them to get me in an ultrasound room to check the baby. While I waited, I knew it was over. I could tell myself that it was over, I could tell myself that I can be strong, but in the end, emotion takes over
and wipes away that stoic feeling I was trying to prepare for.

I walked in the u/s room, sat my purse down, and laid my sweater over it. I looked at the tissue box and thought to myself, I should grab some. I didn’t, I think I was just hoping that the news wouldn’t be bad. This was my third pregnancy in two and half years, I’m pretty familiar with the picture on the ultrasound. I saw my baby, with the most precious little foot sticking up, at the bottom of my uterus, not moving. I knew. I watched the u/s tech look at the resident and shake her head. The resident went to get the doctor. This was not my regular OB, but it was the second best OB that I have seen. I’ll never forget the feel of his cold hand on my arm as he spoke the words “I’m so sorry, but there is no heartbeat.” I broke down and sobbed. I guess I just needed to hear those words as confirmation, which is all I needed to break the dam of tears. I was 16 weeks, 5 days
and the baby had been dead at least a week.

I then had to make the call to my husband to break the news. He left work and met me at the doctor’s office to take me home. We cried, tried to nap, but there was no comfort to be found. Our baby was gone. We made the decision to induce labor. My doctor’s office set it up for me
the next day at the hospital.

On our way to the hospital the morning of May 14th, I told my husband that if our baby was a girl, we would name her Charity….”For now abideth Faith, Hope and Charity, these three, but the greatest of these is Charity.” I walked through the doors of Labor and Delivery and it seemed so unreal. I was here just 6 months before giving birth to Lauren; it was like a dream that I was back
to have another delivery, one that wouldn’t be as happy.

Angel Charity's sister, Lauren.

We wanted pictures of our baby, so we had brought a digital camera, as well as a disposal camera. They were never used. The induction was slow because I had a prior c-section. DH went home to get some rest because it was taking so long. I didn’t mind really, it was going to be uneventful until the next day. Fifteen hours into the induction, I felt a gush and figured it was my water breaking. I was wrong. I had started bleeding. I called DH at 3:30 a.m., May 15. He started on his way back to the hospital, 45 minutes from our house.

It was getting bad, and they discussed that it looked like I would need a D & E. I wanted to see my baby, but I knew that if it were for the best, I would consent to this procedure. I signed the consent form, and things turned bad with me. I set the alarm off six times in 30 minutes. My blood pressure was dropping too far. It was 74/36 and they rushed me to surgery, it was 7:30 a.m. I had been put under general anesthesia because the situation became emergent, when I was in recovery, DH was beside me and told me “Sheri, they took your uterus.” I would have been 17 weeks that day,
it was three months to the date that I found out I was pregnant.

I suffered a double loss that day. I lost my baby, I never got to see my baby, but then I heard the words that I never thought I would here, I lost my uterus. I continued to hemorrhage after the D & E, and the doctor got DH’s permission to take the uterus, or I would most likely have bled to death. A Double Whammy was dealt to me that day.

My story, although very sad, doesn’t end there. I suffered from depression; I couldn’t find that all-important “closure”. I had to recover from the emergency hysterectomy, so I was home and lonely and had too much time to think. Many tears I cried, not just for our baby,
but for my other loss as well.

Four-weeks after my surgery, DH talked to the pathologist at the hospital and he was told that there was nothing dynamic that caused our baby’s death. I asked DH to call them back and ask them if they could find out the baby’s sex. DH was told that it was too early in the pregnancy to know the sex. I called the OB’s office very upset that they couldn’t tell me the sex. My OB personally called me later that afternoon. He told me he saw the pathology report and told me that my baby had gastroschisis. I was confused. How could he know my baby has a gastroschisis and not know
what the sex was? (Gastroschisis is where the intestines grow outside of the abdominal wall)

At my 6-week appointment, just before I was to come back to work, I saw the pathology report for myself. My baby did indeed have gastroschisis; my baby was also my third daughter. I was devastated. How could they have delivered a body and not told me? Why was I not offered any footprints or handprints? I know that pictures were not a possibility, but those two things and
just knowing I could name my baby would have been helpful.

Slowly, I am resolving the issues in my own mind. We named our third daughter
Charity Hope Davis. We will always love our daughter,
even though we never got to see her, she is a part of our family.

Charity’s estimated due date was to be October 24, 2003. I figured she would be late, just like her sisters. Little did I know in February that Charity would change our world in a whole other way then how we had first imagined. We can’t take anything for granted any longer. We never know
when it will be taken away from us.

Charity’s dad and I are now divorced. I’m not sad about that though.

While recuperating from my surgery, I had a thought that I wanted to get a new tattoo to honor Charity. Trying to find “the perfect” tattoo was difficult. The artist, Brittany, helped me a great deal, and I certainly appreciate her patience and talent. The sleeping cherub came from a book of flash, and the flowers I found on the Internet. The tat is located just below my neckline on my upper back. We put it there so it would “peek” out. I am pleased that I memorialized my baby in this fashion.