Batman's Great Mystery
Dated Death Buy now CD: Sensational guitars of Dan and Dale Highly recommended! |
Narrator |
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Look! up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman!
Yes, it's Superman, strange visitor from the planet Krypton who came to Earth with amazing physical powers far beyond those of mortal men. And who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, wages a never ending battle for truth and justice.
And now, The Adventures of Superman. |
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Narrator (over organ music) |
Having learned that the famous Batman and the wealthy Bruce Wane were one and the same person, a mysterious man who called himself Mr. Jones persuaded Batman to go away with him under the threat of revealing his secret. Then, holding Batman prisoner, Jones sent a man who looked very much like Batman, and who had been trained to impersonate him, to Metropolis, where he made un-American speeches and led Robin, Batman's young companion, into an ambush. While Superman was trying to locate Jones, who he had learned was really a rabble rouser named Mort Veeler, Batman and Robin, chained to the wall in an old Revolutionary barracks, knocked out a henchman of Jones's who ventured to near and searched him, hoping to find a gun with which they could free themselves from their chains. But the man was without a gun. Their last hope gone, the dynamic duo can only stand by helplessly as Jones entered the long, dimly lit room, and Jones did have a revolver. |
Jones |
What are you two up to, eh? |
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Robin |
Don't mind us, Jonesy. We're just playing patty-cake with your gorilla. |
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Jones
Robin
Batman |
Really? well, you won't play anymore games, because I'm going to take care of OVER: Here he comes, Batman Quick, Robin, drop to the floor behind Jones' pal. |
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Robin |
RATTLE OF CHAINS What gives, Batman? |
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Jones |
Say, what are you two up to now? |
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Batman |
Drop your gun, Jones, I've got you covered. |
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Robin |
Holy smokes! |
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Jones |
What? Don't make me laugh, Batman. |
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Batman |
This is no joke. I've got your gorilla's gun! |
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Robin |
What a bluff! |
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Jones |
Help! RUNNING Ed, Jerry, Harry! DOOR SLAMS |
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Batman |
Stop, Jones, stop or I'll shoot! |
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Jones |
Help! |
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Robin |
He's gone, Batman! He fell for the old shell game! |
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Batman
Jones |
Sure, he's yellow. I never knew a rabble rouser that wasn't. OVER Harry, After them! |
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Robin |
What do you think he'll do now? |
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Batman |
He'll probably come back with reinforcements. OVER Jones yelling |
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Robin |
Here he comes! |
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Batman |
Stand back! The first guy who pokes his head in here gets a bullet in his head. DOOR SLAMS |
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Robin |
Now what, Batman? We won't be able to fool them forever. |
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Batman |
Yeah, I know. Up on your feet, chum. Come on. RATTLE OF CHAINS |
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Robin |
What's the gimmick? |
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Batman |
We're got to make another try to snap these chains. |
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Robin |
Are you kidding? We've already tried for hours. |
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Batman |
I know, but we've got to try again. Now, come on now. Put your foot against the wall and then throw yourself backward. |
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Robin |
Okay. VARIOUS GRUNTS, GROANS AND CHAIN RATTLINGS It's no use, Batman. They won't break. |
Batman |
I guess you're right, Robin. We're not getting any place. |
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Robin |
I wonder what friend Jonesy is up to now. |
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Another qallusion to Hamlet? 'There's something rotten in the state of Denmark.' |
Batman |
Something rotten, you can bet your bottom dollar on that. SNIFFS. Hey, wait, what's that. OVER SOUND OF BURNING. Do you smell smoke? |
Robin |
SNIFFS. Gee whiz, yes! |
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Batman |
Yeah, and now I hear something burning, too. Listen! |
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Robin |
Holy smokes! This joint is on fire! |
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Batman |
POUNDING ON DOOR. What's that? |
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Jones |
MUFFLED FROM BEHIND DOOR. Batman and Robin! If it gets too hot in there, call up the fire department. LAUGHTER. |
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Robin |
COUGHING. Batman! Jones set this place on fire, to finish us! |
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Batman |
COUGHING. Right, Robin. Yes, it looks as if we've jumped right out of the frying pan into the fire. |
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Narrator, over organ music |
Coughing as the smoke begins to swirl through the long, low room, Batman and Robin realize that their final desperate ruse has now also ended in failure. Meanwhile, in the farm house of William Hemple, where papers are strewn all over the floor, Superman and Hemple have been unable to locate the envelopes bearing the name and address of Mort Veeler, alias Mr. Jones. |
Superman |
YOU SAID YOU WERE SURE THOSE ENVELOPES WERE HERE, MR. HEMPLE. |
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Hemple |
Well, they was, Superman. Like I told ya, Veeler sent 'em, asking for contributions to his no good society. |
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Superman |
WELL THEN, WHERE ARE THEY? |
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Hemple |
Beats me. All I can think is maybe me or muh wife through 'em out. |
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Superman |
GREAT SCOTT, WHAT'LL I DO? I'VE GOT TO FIND JONES, I MEAN VEELER'S ADDRESS, BECAUSE I'M SURE HE'S HOLDING BATMAN AND ROBIN SOMEPLACE. |
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Hemple |
Shore wish I could help ya, Superman. |
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Superman |
WAIT, MR. HEMPLE. YOU SAY THIS MAN VEELER GOES AROUND THE COUNTRYSIDE MAKING SPEECHES AND TRYING TO GET SUPPORT FOR HIS 'LET EUROPE STARVE' CAMPAIGN. |
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Hemple |
Yep. Then he sends letters to the people who heard him speak, asking for money. |
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Superman |
WELL, IF HE'S SPOKEN AROUND HERE AND SENT YOU LETTERS, HE MUST HAVE SENT LETTERS TO SOME OF YOUR NEIGHBORS, TOO. |
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Hemple |
Why, shore. I was speaking to Sam Hoffmeyer just the other day about it. Sam says he got a letter, but he.. |
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Superman |
WHERE DOES HOFFMEYER LIVE? |
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Hemple |
His farm's just the other side of Mayfield, down the turnpike. |
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Superman |
GOOD. I'LL FIND HIM. OPENS WINDOW. SEE YOU LATER, MR. HEMPLE, AND THANKS. UP, UP AND AWAY! FLYiNG |
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Superman |
MR. HEMPLE SAYS YOU GOT A LETTER FROM THIS MAN, MORT VEELER, TOO, MR. HOFFMEYER, ASKING YOU TO CONTRIBUTE TO HIS UN-AMERICAN CAMPAIGN. |
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Sam Hoffmeyer |
Yep, I did Superman... |
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Superman |
WELL TELL ME HAVE YOU... |
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Hoffmeyer |
But he won't get no money from me. |
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Superman |
NO. BUT... |
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Hoffmeyer |
I always say we gotta help them poor folks over there. |
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Superman |
YES, YES, OF COURSE WE DO. BUT WHAT, WHAT ABOUT THE LETTER? DO YOU STILL HAVE IT? |
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Hoffmeyer |
I .....let see here, I reckon so. |
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Superman |
WILL YOU SHOW IT TO ME, PLEASE? IT WILL GIVE ME VEELER'S ADDRESS AND THEN I CAN.. |
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Hoffmeyer Superman .Hoffmeyer |
Now hold on...hold on...seems to me I seen it over here in the fruit bowl. OH? Yeah, usually we keeps all letters and papers and things here. |
Superman |
WELL, IS IT THERE? |
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Hoffmeyer |
Nope, don't seem to be here now.. |
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Superman |
UH OH, NOW HOW WILL I FIND VEELER? |
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Hoffmeyer |
Wait a minute, wait a minute, I kinda recollect takin' it upstairs to Sarah, the other day. |
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Superman |
SARAH? |
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Hoffmeyer |
Yeah, that's my wife. She's been ailin' some, so I took her up whatever letters and papers was around for her to pass the time. |
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Superman |
Yes, YES. will you please see if the letter's upstairs, Mr. Hoffmeyer? |
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Hoffmeyer |
Ayuh, I'll go right up now. You just wait here. |
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Superman |
I will but hurry, please, every second counts. |
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Narrator, over organ music |
Anxiously, Superman waits for Sam Hoffmeyer to seek out the precious letter from rabble rouser Mort Veeler, alias Mr. Jones. Meanwhile, the ancient prison barracks, set in a vast, desolate country side, is blazing furiously, as Batman and Robin chained in the center of the burning structure, are helpless. Outside the blazing wooden structure, a half dozen of Mr. Jones' followers stand, watching in awe. While to one side, smiling broadly, the rabble rouser stands with Ed, the man who was trained to impersonate Batman. |
Jones |
Heh heh heh. Ed, that's the end of Batman and Robin. |
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Ed |
It's a tough way to go, Mr. Veeler. |
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Jones |
Eh? Feel sorry for them, do you? |
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Ed |
Well, kind of. |
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Jones |
Well, you'll get over it when we start spending Batman's money. Heh heh heh. Ed!? |
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Ed |
What's the matter? |
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Jones |
Where are the suitcases? |
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Ed |
What suitcases? |
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Jones |
The ones with Batman's money! |
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Ed Jones |
Why, why I thought you brought them out! I thought you did! |
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Ed |
Holy smokes! |
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Jones |
Come on! We've got to get them! |
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Ed |
No, wait! We can't go back in there! The roof will go down any minute! |
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Jones |
We've got to! There's over a million dollars worth of securities in those suitcases. They'll be burned up! |
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Ed |
But we'll be killed! It isn't worth... |
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Jones |
No, we won't! The suitcases are in the kitchen near the door. For heaven's sake, hurry! |
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Ed |
Well, alright! |
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Buy now Music from 1966 series |
Narrator, over music |
As Jones and Batman's impersonator rush into the rear of the blazing barracks, risking their lives to rescue their stolen loot, there is a rending crash, and the roof above them crashes down upon them. CRASH FLYING And at that moment, having finally learned the address of Jones' headquarters, Superman streaks through the skies towards the burning barracks, then plummets downward to land in the mass of the blazing, collapsing wreckage where he finds Batman and Robin who lie unmoving. Has Superman arrived too late to save the dynamic duo? Has the rabble rouser Jones and Batman's impersonator who, driven by greed and bigotry, pulled down destruction upon their own heads, destroyed the courageous Batman and Robin too? There are more thrills and surprises in tomorrow's smashing climax of our story, fellows and girls, so don't miss it! Tune in same time, same station, for the final chapter of The Adventures of Superman! |
This page last updated on August 15, 2002.
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