Trivette and C.D. stopped at the closed door of the bedroom; hesitating. C.D. held the herbs that he had prepared for Walker’s hands, as Trivette held the jar of Cherokee purge. Both were mentally preparing themselves for the yet unknown situation that lay ahead of them. Jimmy was the first to break the silence as he said, “I guess we should go in, hugh Big Dog?” “We don’t have a choice in the matter Jimmy. Cordell is our friend and he needs our help; whether he wants it or not. We are going to have to give him some gentle persuasion to head him in the right direction.” C.D. looked at the nervousness that was etched on the younger mans face. With a soft chuckle; and not being able to resist a quick taunt towards the younger man he continued, “At least I hope it will take only gentle persuasion; if not we will have to use plan B...you hog tie, I pour.” “Oh God...” Jimmy moaned as C.D. gave him a good natured  shove towards the door. Casting a disgruntled look at his mentor, Trivette slowly turned the handle. ******** Walker stared out the window. It never failed to amaze him, how everything he looked at reminded him of Alex. The sky was exactly the same color as her eyes. The soft breeze carried the aroma of beautiful flowers which reminded him of the perfume that she always wore because he liked it so much. The graceful sway of the tree limbs reminded him of the way that she walked. Lowering his eyes and sadly shaking his head at his own stupidity; he heard the faint click of the door being opened. Turning slowly, he faced his friends with shame written all over his face. “I figured you two would have given up on me and left by now.” he mumbled; not being able to look either one of them in the eye. C.D. crossed the room to stand before Walker. Placing his hands on his former partners shoulders he spoke lovingly; straight from his heart. “Cordell...we would never give up on you son. We are family. Yes...we may have all lost our heads a little over things that have happened lately and gotten pretty dang angry at you...but we would never give up on you because we are family...and we all love each other. But we realize from your uncharacteristic actions lately that something is bothering you. Something; I am willing to bet, that is buried so deep in your subconscious that even you can’t figure out what it is. Am I right?” “C.D....I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me. I love Alex with all my heart and soul...but lately...lately I have been doing nothing but pushing her away. I couldn’t see that I was even doing it until she...” Walker paused not even being able to say the words ‘until she gave me the engagement ring back and walked out of my life’. Raising his eyes to meet C.D.’s and he asked, “Why would I do that C.D. when I love her the way I do?” C.D. could see the desperation that overflowed from his friends eyes. He could see the torment that tore into the very depth of his soul. “I don’t know Cordell...I really don’t, but me and Jimmy here are fixin’ to help you figure that out. If you’ll let us.” Walker looked to his partner who was still standing just inside the door. Their eyes locked and held for a few seconds before Walker glanced down to the jar that Trivette held, quickly returning his eyes to his before he questioned, “Cherokee purge?” “Yeah. White Eagle brought it last night.” Jimmy replied; losing all of his anger that he had harbored towards Walker the instant that their eyes had locked. He had never; in his wildest dreams, imagined he would ever see Walker the way he was right now. Where there had always stood a proud warrior; now stood a man that looked like he had nothing left to live for. A fallen man; lost and silently begging for his friends to help him be found. A smile found it’s way to Trivette’s lips. Feeling the need to lighten the somber mood that hung heavily in the air and also let Walker know that all was right between the two of them, he moved to stand beside both Walker and C.D. Handing the jar of purge to Walker he said, “Oh yeah...White Eagle also told us specifically that you had to ‘willingly’ drink it all...WILLINGLY and EVERY...LAST...DROP OF IT!” Walker looked at his partners; both former and present. Their expressions held amusement as they waited for his response on whether or not he would willingly drink all of the Cherokee purge. But even more prevalent on their faces were their looks of love and concern for him. Walker silently thanked the Great Spirit for the love of these two wonderful friends. Where only minutes before he had felt as if he stood alone in his quest to rectify the wrongs that he had done, now stood the strength and will power to start making things right again. Because of these two men, he now had the optimism and courage that he; so desperately needed to believe that he right the wrongs and be able to have everything he had always longed for in his life. In one word...Alex. C.D. spoke up; breaking into Walker’s thoughts. “Well Cordell? What’s it going to be? Do you take the purge willingly or do we have to use plan B?” “Plan B?” Walker asked; a small smile of hope touching his lips for the first time in days. “Yes sirree...good OLE plan B. The plan that if you don’t drink that under your own power, Jimmy here is going to hog tie you and I’m gonna dump it down your throat.” “Woo...wait a minute C.D. There is no need for plan B.” Walker reached up to rub his black and swollen eye before he let his hand lower to his equally damaged jaw line as he continued, “Trivette did enough damage to me last night. I’ll drink the purge...willingly. I don’t want to face his wrath again...drinking this stuff is punishment enough.” C.D. and Jimmy laughed as they headed towards the door; leaving Walker staring at the jar of liquid in his hands with a look of distaste on his face. ******** “Don’t you think we ought to go up and check on him?” Jimmy asked for the tenth time in as many minutes. “Jimmy for pete’s sake. Would you please come over here and sit down. You are more nervous than a man waiting for his first youngun’ to be born. I told you Cordell will be down when he feels up to it. Good Lord son, you of all people should know what that stuff does to a man. You do remember don’t you?” “Yeah I remember.” Jimmy replied as his stomach did a flip flop at just the thought of it. “Well good. Now come sit down. How about we play a game of checkers? We haven’t done that in a coons age. It will help to kill some time.” “Big Dog...the reason we haven’t played checkers in a long time is because you cheat.” “I DO NOT!” “Yes you do. The last time we played...” “It’s nice to see that some things haven’t changed.” Walker said as he entered the room. “Hey there Cordell. How you feelin’ son?” “Better.” Walker replied simply as he seated himself in the recliner by the window. “Well I have to say you do look a might better than you did. Except for that there black eye that Jimmy gave you that is. He’s got one hell-of-a right hook.” C.D. said with a chuckle. Walker’s hand moved to his eye; wincing as he touched it gently. “Yes he sure does.” “Walker man...I’m sorry about that. I should have never hit you last night...” “Don’t worry about it Trivette. I deserved it.” Walker said as he looked at his partner. “I do wish you wouldn’t of hit me so hard though.” Jimmy rubbed the knuckles on his right hand as he replied, “I wish I wouldn’t have hit you so hard either.” C.D. watched as they looked at each other; knowing that they had each in their own way apologized to the other. They both now knew that they were once again best friends and brothers. “Cordell you must be hungry. How about I whip you up something to eat?” “I’m not hungry right now...Thanks anyway. I would like a cup of coffee though.” “How about you Jimmy? You want anything?” “No thanks C.D. I’m fine.” “All right then...one cup of hot and steaming coffee coming right up.” he said as he rose and headed into the kitchen. Silence filled the room as Walker turned to look out the window. Thoughts of Alex filling his mind instantly. ‘Where was she? Was she all right? Did he have a chance of making things right with her? Did she still love him?’ Trivette watched his partner who was lost in thought. His heart ached for him. He knew he was agonizing over what had happened with Alex; he could see the mist of unshed tears in his eyes. Not knowing what to say to make his friend feel any better, Trivette walked to his partners side and placed his hand on his shoulder; giving it a firm and supportive squeeze. “Thanks Trivette.” Walker said; with a quick glance and a sad smile of thanks, before he turned once again to stare out the window. ******** The past few days, had fallen into somewhat of a routine for Alex. She spent all her time thinking about Walker and counting down the minutes until C.D.’s next phone call. He had been calling her every couple of hours through out the day to update her on Walker’s condition. The last call she had received, he had told her that Walker’s hand were almost healed and that the effects of the binge he had been on were totally gone now. All that was left for Walker to do to complete his healing, was the sweat lodge ceremony. The sweat lodge ceremony. This worried Alex. ‘What if Walker had a vision that told him not to be with her? How would she go on with her life then? Walker was her life. Would ‘she’ be able to let go of him if he did decide that he didn’t want her in his life?’ Pulling herself away from the tirade of thoughts and emotions that kept running through her mind, she turned to look at the clock. C.D. had said he would call around 10pm; right before he would be ready to turn in for the night. Seeing that it was only a little after 9, she decided to grab a nice long shower to try to kill some of the monotonous and seemingly never ending time. ******** C.D. had waited until Jimmy had left to go home and Cordell had gone upstairs for the night before he picked up the phone and called Alex. “Hello.” “Hi honey...it’s me.” C.D. said, as he settled down into the recliner to prop his feet up. Today had seemed like it would never end and he was exhausted. “How’s everything going C.D.? You sound really tired tonight.” “I am tired...it’s been a long day. This evening Jimmy and I helped Cordell get the sweat lodge built and gathered the wood and rocks for in it. He’s planning on starting the ceremony by first light. How about you honey? You doing OK?” “Other than I am not there I am fine C.D. How’s Walker? Did he get his stiches out today?” C.D. chuckled as he replied, “Yeah he did. In fact he took em out himself. Wouldn’t let me call my doctor friend to do it...said it would be a waste of a trip just for a few stitches to be removed when he could do it himself. You know how stubborn he is.” “Yes I do.” Alex replied. “Well now, Honey you go and get yourself a good nights sleep and we’ll just wait and see what tomorrow brings, all right?” “I’ll try C.D. Good night.” “Night Darlin’.” C.D. replied. Turning to hang up the phone he was startled to see Walker standing in the door way. “Cordell...you scared the day lights out of me son.” “Sorry.” Walker said as he looked at the older man. Taking a deep breathe he asked, “How long have you known where Alex is C.D?” “For the past three days.” C.D. replied, waiting to see what Walker’s reaction would be to the news. “How is she?” “Well Cordell, she is pretty much in the same state as you are right now. Needing answers to certain questions. But she’s hanging in there.” Walker simply nodded as he turned and headed back upstairs. ******** Walker had left the house well before day break, to travel the short distance to where he and his friends had built the sweat lodge the day before. After he had started the fire inside, he changed into a loin cloth and began to prepare himself mentally for the tough journey that lay ahead. He knew that his and Alex’s relationship...if indeed there was any chance left of their ever having one again...all depended on whether or not the spirits would guide him and help him discover the answers to his questions. The snap of a twig caught Walker’s attention. Without turning around he said, “You’re getting better Trivette. I might just make a Cherokee out of you yet.” A grin of pleasure at the complement came to Trivette’s face as he came to a stop beside his partner. “Are you ready for this man?” Trivette asked with concern. He had done a sweat with Walker before and he knew how physically and emotionally draining it was on a man. Walker nodded as he rose agilely to his feet. “Do you want me to do the sweat with you?” Trivette volunteered. “No Trivette...this is a trek I have to take alone. But I do thank you for asking.” Walker hesitated before continuing, “I want to also thank you for being my friend. I know it hasn’t been easy the past while.” He then extended his hand to his partner. Jimmy accepted it happily as he replied, “Well, you know, you’ve helped me through some pretty tough spots yourself. I guess it was my turn to do the same for you.” The two men nodded and smiled at each other knowing that their friendship was still intact and stronger than it ever was. Walker then moved to the opening of the lodge and entered; dropping the flap down behind him. Jimmy stood silently watching for several minutes before he turned and headed back to the ranch. ******** The steam hung heavy in the air of the sweat lodge. Sitting cross legged; Walker’s body glistened with perspiration. Emptying his mind of all thoughts, Walker added the special bag of herbs from White Eagle onto the coals of the fire and the hot rocks that surrounded it. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply of the aroma from the herbs. Immediately he could feel the drug like effects taking over his body and soul. Slowly, he began to chant the ancient song of the spirits; waiting for his journey of discovery to begin. ******** The visions began about an hour later. Horrors of days past filled his subconsciousness. The visions presented themselves separately at first. One by one, Walker was forced to relive each and every horrifying incident. The stabbing death of his parents. The death of Ellen. The death of Lucas. The day Alex had been shot. The day that he, himself had to breathe life back into Alex’s body when she had nearly drowned. The beating and near death of C.D. Over and over again they appeared. Abruptly the visions began to change. No longer were they coming separately. They began to blend together; over lapping each other to become one before they would separate once again. Faster and faster the visions churned until they were spinning wildly out of control; carrying his emotions with them. His tears of sorrow mixed with the sweat of his over heated body. His heart breaking sobs of grief filled the air. Suddenly the visions were gone. Walker felt himself being released from the jaws of their terrifying grip. Exhaustion consumed his entire being as he slumped; unconscious, to the ground. ******** Alex gasped and screamed, as she was awakened from a deep and troubled sleep. Sitting up in bed, she sobbed uncontrollably as she hurriedly checked the still dark room; making sure she was alone. Not finding anyone, she clutched the tangled blankets to her breast as she concentrated on trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. Curling up tightly into a ball she began taking slow and calming breaths. As her heart rate began to return to normal, she brushed the damp hair back off of her face and wiping at her tears. At first she couldn’t remember what exactly had awakened her. She began to search her mind, when she suddenly realized that she had been dreaming about Walker. But it wasn’t a pleasant dream. It had been a nightmare; one that had been filled with the death of people he had loved and lost in his life time. His parents. Ellen. Lucas. There had even been the times that she and C.D. had almost lost their fights for life. She had seen all of the events as they had happened; every terrifying moment of them. They had been replayed over and over again as if she were reliving them through Walker himself. She had been able to feel the turmoil of Walker’s emotions, just as if his emotions had become her own. The anguish. The sorrow. The tears. She remembered that C.D. had told her that Walker was going to begin the sweat lodge before first light today. Glancing out the window, Alex could see that the sun was just now peeking it’s head over the horizon. Was that why she had been having this particular dream? Where she and Walker so spiritually in tune that she had some how been experiencing the same visions that Walker was experiencing in the sweat lodge ceremony? The visions about Lucas, C.D. and herself she could explain away. She had been there and had also lived through them to some extent. But the others...no...they had to be coming from Walker’s memories. That was the only answer. How else would she be able to describe in detail exactly what Walker’s parents looked like? Walker had shown her pictures of his parents of course, but these memories had been too real...too vivid to come from just seeing a few faded, old black and white pictures. And what about Ellen? She had never even seen a picture of Ellen. But she knew, if she had to, that she could describe her physical appearance perfectly. Reaching for the picture of she and Walker that lay beside her on the bed, Alex stared into the gray-blue eyes of the man she loved. She must have done this same thing a thousand times since the picture had been taken. They had both been so happy that day. The love that they felt for each other shone brightly; even in the picture, for all the world to see. But now; for the very first time, she noticed something that she had never seen before. Wanting to make sure that her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, she closed them for several moments before opening them slowly. She began to once again study the picture in her hands. Alex placed her hand over her mouth as the tears of acknowledgment began to flow freely down her cheeks. ‘Oh my God, it is there,’ she murmured beneath her hand. There was no denying it. It was so clear to her now, that she couldn’t imagine how she had ever missed it before. Alex pulled the picture close to her heart; hugging it tightly as she cried. How could she have ever misunderstood Walker so badly? How could she have ever doubted his love for her? ******** Walker awakened to a feeling of total security. Slowly sitting up he realized that someone was sitting beside him. In his state of disorientation, it took him several moments before he realized who it was. “Mother?” “Yes son...it’s me.” “Why...What are you doing here?” “You expected to see your father or Uncle Ray didn’t you?” Walker nodded as his mother pulled him into the safety of her loving arms; just like she used to do when he was a little boy and he would awakened from a bad dream. It felt so good. Being held in her arms and feeling the soothing touch of her hands. Softly he whispered, “I miss you Mama.” “I miss you too Cordell. Your Father and Uncle Ray said to tell you, that they miss you also.” “Why didn’t they come with you?” he asked. “Because they both agreed that if anyone was going to help you with this problem it would have to be me.” “I don’t even know what my problem is.” he replied sadly. “I know you don’t. But I do and so does Alex.” she said with a smile. “You know about Alex?” he asked puzzled. “Of course we do. Even though we are not with you in a physical sense...we are with you in spirit every day. Now on to Alex...tell me about her...in your own words.” Walker smiled as he pictured Alex in his mind. The words began to rapidly flow from him. He told her of Alex’s strength...how loving and compassionate she is...and about how much he loved her. His Mother listened proudly as he spoke about the woman who had captured his heart so completely. When she saw the tears begin to glisten in his eyes she asked, “What happened between you two?” “We had a fight. She gave me her engagement ring back and left town.” “What was the fight about son?” “About the way I have been acting and treating her lately. How I keep putting her off about even talking about setting a date for the wedding.” “Why do you think you have been doing that?” “I honestly don’t know. I love her. I want to be with her. But...It’s almost as if...as if I become someone else. I know I am teasing her when I should be serious, but I can’t seem to stop myself. The night we had the fight I noticed she didn’t have her engagement ring on. That’s what started the ball rolling. She had been doing some painting at the HOPE house that day and I knew that was the reason she had taken it off. But I started teasing her about it. Saying that she didn’t have it on cause she didn’t really want to be engaged...she didn’t really want to marry me. That’s when she got so mad and started telling me about the times I had teased her and it had hurt her feelings. Like when I promised we would sit down and have a serious discussion about our future. When it came time for the discussion I teased her instead of keeping my word. Every time she would even mention discussing the future lately I would say or do something stupid. Why?” He looked into her eyes; pleading for an answer. Elizabeth Walker caressed her son’s cheek with compassion as she replied, “Cordell...you are acting that way because of all the tragedy you have had in your life time. Some where along the line you have grown to think of love and betrayal as being the same thing, but it’s not.” Walker frowned with confusion as his Mother continued, “Everytime in the past that you have totally given your heart to someone they have been taken away from you. The love you gave to your father and I; as our son, betrayed you when we were killed. The day you began to love Lucas as your son; you were betrayed once again because he died. Same with Ellen. That’s why it took you so long to even declare your love for Alex. Deep down you feel that if you give your heart to her totally; by taking that final step of marriage and consummating your love for her, she will also betray you.” “But I’m a grown man Mother. I know that’s not what love is about.” “Yes; you are a grown man...and a fine one of which I am very proud. But...can you honestly sit here and tell me you didn’t think that your Father and I betrayed you when we died?” Walker lowered his eyes in shame as he replied, “I guess I did feel like you betrayed me.” “Oh Cordell...You were only a child and you saw your Mother and Father killed before your eyes. Of course you felt we had betrayed you by dying. That is perfectly natural. But from that day on you have learned to think that every time you truly love someone they are going to betray you by leaving you.” “But it always happens. You...Father...Ellen...Lucas. Now even Alex has left me. To love someone is to be betrayed.” “Cordell John Firewalker...now you listen to me.” she scolded, as she placed her hands on his face; making him look into her eyes. “Your Father and I didn’t have a choice in leaving you. That choice was taken away from us by men who couldn’t see past their own prejudice. Ellen and Uncle Ray didn’t have a choice in leaving you. Sweet little Lucas didn’t have a choice; he was happier in his short time of being with you than he ever had been in his entire life. None of us would have ever left you if OUR choice of loving and being with you hadn’t been taken away from us. Don’t you understand that? Sweetheart...in every case, our choice of loving you and staying with you was taken away. Your Father’s and I by a knife of prejudice...Ellen’s by someone’s bullet...Uncle Ray’s by old age...Lucas’s because of aids. But none of us would EVER give up what time we did have with you for anything in the world. That is what LOVE is all about. It’s not the amount of time you have to love someone...it is the quality of the time that you have with that person. That is what’s really important. We can’t always change what happens in our life. And we certainly can’t always prevent bad things from happening to the ones we love,” Elizabeth could see the spark of understanding begin to grow rapidly in her sons gray eyes as she continued, “But we can accept what precious amount of time we have with someone and make it a point to make the best of that time. That is what loving someone really means.” Walker suddenly felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. Everything became so clear and for the very first time, it all made sense. The wall of his long lived misconception between love and betrayal shattered instantly; leaving him with a magnificent feeling of total euphoria. Hugging his Mother tightly he said, “I understand Mama...I finally understand. Thank you.” “You are very welcome son. Now...you need to rest for awhile and regain your strength, so you can go and use your new found knowledge in getting the woman you love to come home to you.” “What if it’s too late? What if I have done too much damage?” “I’m sorry Cordell...those are ‘what if’ question’s that only Alex can answer. I do know one thing for certain...this Alex of yours has to be someone very special for you to love her as deeply as you do. That tells me, that she also loves you very deeply. Let your love for each other lead you back to where you both belong...Together.” Walker nodded. He could feel the spirit of his Mother slipping, slowly away from him. Reaching out to her he pleaded, “Please Mother...don’t leave...not yet...there is so much more I want to tell you.” “I’m sorry. I have to go now. Just remember that we love you...and we are with you in spirit every second of every day.” “I will Mama...I’ll remember. I love you.” Walker whispered as exhaustion over came him and he drifted into unconsciousness. ******** The sun was slowly setting on the horizon as C.D. sat down in the rocker on the front porch of the ranch. Taking a sip of iced tea, he watched as it painted the sky with it’s beautiful pastel colors. With a smile he said to outloud, “Maybe this is a sign of better days ahead for Cordell and Alex.” “I hope you’re right C.D.” Walker said as he came around the corner of the house. “Damn Cordell...you ‘bout gave me a heart attack. You shouldn’t sneak up on a body like that.” “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” “Well now, that’s all right. You sure look a heap better than you did when you left Cordell. How do you feel?” “I’ll feel better when Alex is back where she belongs. Will you call her and tell her to come home C.D.?” “I sure ‘nough will. It would be my pleasure.” C.D. said with a smile as big as the state of Texas, as he rose from the rocker and started towards the door. “C.D....” Walker said as he placed his hand on his shoulder to stop him. “I just wanted to thank you...well you know...for staying out here and taking care of me the past week. I know I was pretty messed up and did some things that I normally wouldn’t do and...” Walker lowered his eyes in shame as he remembered the things he had done earlier in the week. “Cordell...now don’t you fret on it son. Your my family, and family’s stick together; even in the toughest of times, and this past week was some pretty tough times. But you have learned from them and set yourself on a course to set things right again and that’s all that matters.” C.D. moved to hug his former partner, when he suddenly stopped and sniffed. With a shake of his head he extended his hand instead as he said, “Cordell...no offense, but you smell pretty gamy. Why don’t you head on up and hit the shower while I make that phone call to Alex.” Walker chuckled as he shook hands with his dear friend. “Yeah a ‘sweat’ does tend to do that to a person.” When they released hands Walker turned and headed inside. C.D. paused briefly to take one last look at the sunset. With a satisfied smile he murmured, “Yes sir...better days are definitely on the way.” ******** Alex hesitated, as she raised her hand to knock on the door. Taking several deep breaths, she tried to still the shaking of her hands. C.D. had called the night before; not offering any information, other than it was time for her to come home. She had decided to wait until early this morning to drive the three hours back to Dallas. In her haste to see Walker, she had headed straight to his ranch instead of going to her own apartment first. Now she didn’t know if that had been such a good idea. The uneasiness of seeing Walker again and not knowing what his reaction to her would be after all that had happened between them, ran wild in her thoughts. The past week had been very traumatic on her; not only emotionally but physically as well and it showed in her haggard appearance. The black circles and puffiness around her eyes told of her endless crying and sleepless nights. Maybe she should have gone home first to freshen up and put on something other than faded blue jeans and a t-shirt. Deciding to leave, she had only taken two steps when she heard her name called out softly behind her. “Alex? Are you leaving without even saying hello?” Slowly, she turned as her heart rate accelerated ten fold at the mere sound of his husky voice. The sight of him took her breath away instantly. He stood against the door way wearing a pair of jeans; bare foot and shirtless, with a cup of coffee in his hand. Silence filled the morning air as they just stood looking at each other; neither knowing quit how or where to begin their apologies. After what seemed like an eternity, Walker broke the silence as he asked, “Would you like a cup of coffee?” Alex hesitated momentarily before she replied, “Yes...I’d like that.” Walker moved aside; letting her enter the house ahead of him. As she brushed past him, the scent of her perfume filled his senses. It took every ounce of his strength not to just grab her and kiss her soundly. But instead he excused himself to the kitchen to get coffee for them both. Alex looked curiously around the hallway and livingroom. She could see the fresh spots of plaster where there had been holes punched and kicked in the walls. Several small tables and a chair were absent from where they normally sat. The small window in the livingroom was still boarded up with plywood; the glass not having been replaced yet. C.D. had told her that Walker had gone on a drunken rampage but she couldn’t believe the damage that he had done. She still couldn’t help but feel that it was all her fault. Walker stood in the doorway, as he silently watched her. He could tell by the sad expression on her face that she thought she was the cause of the damage he had done. When she noticed him standing there, he walked over to her; handing her one the coffee mugs he held. As their finger tips touched, their eyes locked; each trying to read the others thoughts. Alex was the first to break the spell as she turned and walked to the fireplace; needing to put some distance between them until she could get her thoughts in order.  “Alex...would you have left earlier if I wouldn’t have called out your name?” Alex whispered, “Yes. I should have called you before I just showed up here...you know...to see if you even wanted to see me again after what I did.” Walker placed his mug of coffee on the table beside him and moved to her side. He could see the tears glistening in her eyes. He took her mug of coffee and placed it on the mantle. Touching her cheek softly he said, “Of course I’d want to see you...I missed you so much. I want to be with you for the rest of my life Alex...I love you with all my heart and soul.” “I love you too,” Alex said as she flung herself into his waiting arms; cleaving herself to him tightly. “I’m so sorry. I should have been more patient and understanding with you. I knew something was bothering you but I just got so angry at you that night...” She couldn’t continue as wails of despair wracked her body and tore at his heart. “Shh...please don’t cry Alex.” he said as he swept her up into his arms; cradling her against his chest tightly. Walking over to the chair, Walker sat down; positioning her on his lap as he continued to hold and comfort her. “Oh Walker...I didn’t mean anything I said that night. Please forgive me.” she cried. “Alex...there is nothing to forgive.” He tilted her head up as he brushed the tears from her face. Looking deeply into her blue eyes, he smiled; really smiled for the first time in over a week, as he continued, “If you would not have gotten so angry at me that night, I may have never understood why I was acting the way I was towards you. I should be thanking you sweetheart. You gave me the ‘swift kick in the pants’ that I needed.” “Did you figure out why you were acting that way?” Alex sniffed. “Yes I did.” Walker caressed her face as replied. “I was afraid you were going to betray me because I loved you so much.” “Betray you? Walker I would never betray you.” “I know that. But when my Mother and Father passed on; I felt really betrayed by them. They had always told me how much they loved me; that they would never leave me. But when they were killed, I was left behind. I guess it was then that I began to think of love and betrayal as being the same thing; that if I loved someone they would ultimately betray me by leaving me. And everytime I did give my love to someone, that’s exactly what happened. The perplexity between love and betrayal that had started when I was a boy, continued to grow and be reinforced everytime I lost someone that I loved. It became so deeply buried within me, that over the years I didn’t know it was there anymore. I guess it was my defense mechanism against being hurt again. It didn’t kick back into gear until I feel in love with you and proposed. That’s when I started putting you off about setting a wedding date. Subconsciously I feared that if we took that final step of marriage, you would leave me just like everyone else always has.” PAGE THREE