CHAPTER VI
MARRIAGE
I sailed on the Guide the 9th, and on the 11th reached Hampton Roads. There we took the boat for Baltimore, where we heard that the Confederates were crossing the Potomac, after their victories of the Second Bull Run and Chantilly. I kept on east as fast as trains would carry me, and reaching Boston Friday, the 12th, learned that my father and mother, together with Miss Joy (to whom I had become engaged by correspondence) and her father and mother, were in New York, hoping to meet me on the arrival of the Guide. Telegrams were sent and they reached home late Saturday night, when the hardships and perils of war were temporarily forgotten in the pleasure of reunion.
Here I should perhaps explain that Miss Joy was the daughter by adoption of the Hon. David Joy, of Nantucket, Mass., and an old schoolmate at the Hopedale Home School. Her own father was a descendant of a brother of General Warren, who fell at Bunker Hill, and her mother was a daughter of Captain Alexander Bunker, who was said to have brought more oil into Nantucket than any other skipper and had a record of 229 sperm whales killed with his own hand. Her father and mother both died when she was very young, and she was adopted, as before said, by Mr. and Mrs. Joy, who were wealthy for that day and spent their time largely in travel in Europe and elsewhere. Mr. Joy was a retired ship owner, and had been a member of Governor Everett's Council. Both he and Mrs. Joy were prominent in reform movements previous to the war, and their sympathy with such ideas caused them to send their daughter to school in Hopedale. After her graduation there they traveled in Europe for two years, during which time we kept up a desultory correspondence, and they returned to America shortly before my enlistment. The correspondence continued after that event and resulted in an engagement; and this was our first meeting under the new conditions.
The next day, Sunday, was spent as might be imagined under the circumstances. After a family council we came to the conclusion that it would be better for us to be married before my return to the army, since Lilla would then be privileged to visit and care for me in case I should be ill or wounded. This settled, it was decided that we should be married the next evening, the 15th of September, as I felt obliged to leave for the seat of war Tuesday. Monday I visited Governor Andrew at Boston, to transact certain military business and to obtain, if possible, definite knowledge of the location of my regiment. Concerning the latter I could learn nothing certainly, but I received an order to join it with the least possible delay. I was unable to return home till the last train and did not reach the house till seven P.M., the hour of the wedding being eight. At the appointed hour, or a little later, the ceremony was performed by my good friend, Rev. Adin Ballou, of whom I have before written, our immediate families and Mrs. Ballou being the only wedding guests. My wife, like many other brides, wore a dress from Paris, -- not ordered for the occasion, but purchased by her there a year before, while traveling. I was arrayed in a new uniform, with huge captain's straps upon the shoulders, a pair of new cavalry boots and white cotton gloves completing the inventory. We were not married upon as long notice or in as much style as might be considered desirable to-day, but I don't think we lived the less happily for want of either. My age at the date of my marriage was twenty years and five months, and my wife was nearly seventeen months younger, -- and from my experience I can recommend early marriages.
It may be well to state my pecuniary circumstances at this time, when that kind of calculation is often made. I had continued my economical living, and sent home my savings, so that I had about $900 in my father's hands. My wife was promised $1,000 by her father when we should start housekeeping, if we ever did, and my salary as captain was at the rate of $1,500 per annum. These figures of principal did not seem to us in the least small, and the income appeared to be, and in fact was, far beyond our needs, under the existing circumstances. We had more important matters to consider than those which are vital to most young couples.
The day after my marriage was spent in preparations for departure, and in the afternoon train I left for the seat of war, my wife and father accompanying me. We proceeded to New York, via Norwich; arrived at Jersey City early in the morning; and waited in the depot for the departure of the train. The dreaded time came at last, and, giving a parting kiss to my newly made wife and a grasp of the hand to my father, I was borne out of the depot and away toward the South. The paragraphs above are from the beginning of Chapter VI, pp. 77 - 79, in General Draper's autobiography, Recollections of a Varied Career.
Draper Menu Letters, 1861 - 1862 Battle of The Wilderness HOME