| Time Team Diary |
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| Tony 'Baldrick' Robinson offers us an exlusive peek into his Time Team Diary. |
| Friday 1st March Up to my neck in shit. Again. I really didn't want to do another series of 'Time Team' but my wife said I had to go out and earn some more money, cos the cooker's on the blink. Not that she ever uses it, the lazy tart. I don't see her scrabbling around dirty holes and picking up poo with her bare hands. God, I hope they bring 'Blackadder' back. Must phone Rowan in the morning. |
| Saturday, 2nd March Why am I continually harassed by smelly men with beards? They keep dragging me into their caves to show me rare examples of 17th century toilet brushes. God, are we actually filming these lepers? Christ..... Rowan is not answering his phone. He must be busy working out the proposal for a new Blackadder movie or something. Hang on in there, Rowan, this is gonna be great! A man with a beard is grunting at me. I think he's uncovered something else, the great tit. God, why me? Sunday 3rd March A Channel 4 Representative came round to the dig today, saying that the new series was going really well, and ratings are improving all the time (over 78 people watched the last episode! What is wrong with these people?) His only reservation was that I wasn't getting 'involved' enough in the proceedings. He actually gave me a spade and told me to help digging! Me! With my bad back! Wanker! When the 'Blackadder' movie starts raking in millions, I'm gonna buy out Channel 4 and close it right fucking down. Still no answer from Rowan. Sunday 4th March One of the bearded tramps started getting all excited whilst filming today, 'cos he found a brick which dates back to 1365. I twatted him over the head with it and then I went and buried it somewhere else. Well, you have to keep these people occupied, or they might get let loose on the streets. Channel 4 want to talk to me about renewing my contract for another 20 years. Yeah, as if, losers!!!!!! When Rowan gets back to me, I'm out of this smelly hole. God, I'd rather stack shelves in Tescos than do this for a minute longer. See ya later, Channel 4 bumwipes! I'm off to do better things! |
| Monday 5th March Rowan called back today. He asked me politely never to call him again. Apparently, he's put 'Blackadder' behind him and now wants to concentrate on his new, serious projects like the animated version of Mr Bean. Tuesday 6th March The wife wants a new conservatory for the garden where she can do her Yoga I've got an interview at Tescos in the morning. |