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David Letterman Quotes, David Letterman quotations, paul shaffer quotes, late show quotes, quotes about dave, quotes about David Letterman

"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
> Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
> Advising the President.
> Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
- David Letterman

"Big news coming out of Washington, Dick Cheney will be running again for vice president. He says he is very healthy and
that he has a doctor watching him 24 hours a day. This is a big improvement; it used to be a coroner."
- David Letterman
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