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September 12th 2003
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E! Online - David Letterman Article

This just in from the home office in New York: David Letterman's going to be a daddy. No, it's not some Stupid Human Trick he's pulling.

The Late Show host revealed some surprisingly good news during Thursday's taping of Friday night's program--his longtime galpal, Regina Lasko, is pregnant.

"I have an announcement to make and I'll be honest with you...I feel a little silly because it's one of those things where I thought never in my life this would happen... I'm going to be a father," Letterman told the audience.

The confession was followed by huge cheers from the studio audience at CBS' Ed Sullivan Theater, prompting bandleader and sidekick Paul Shaffer to remark: "Congratulations! You're not kidding. Are you kidding us?" For once, Dave wasn't.

Having undergone quadruple bypass surgery three years ago, the 56-year-old Letterman couldn't resist making a few cracks about his AARP-eligibilty--pointing out that "not only will I be the child's father, I'll also be the child's grandfather."

"And if you look at it this way, at 56, by the time the child has trouble in life, you know, I'll be dead. I'll be long gone," quipped Letterman. "By the time the kid's out stealing cars, you know, Dad will be dead a few years."

"That's the upside," added Paul.

The cranky gap-toothed comic then admitted that he was terrified by the prospect of fatherhood, said he doesn't know the first thing about babies, and told the audience he was just beginning to find a place for the little tyke to stay in his Connecticut mansion.

"I just don't want one of those kids who's always taking a dump in its pants," Letterman cracked. "You know, because I'm too old for--I'm too old for any of this--but especially that."

He revealed that Lasko's tummy has grown so much "there's some tunnels we can't get through any more." Diaper duty aside, Dave let loose another bombshell--his bachelor days may be soon be coming to an end.

Letterman confessed on the air to Lasko's parents, his "future in-laws" that the "wedding is still being discussed." (Letterman was married once before; he and first wife Michele Cook divorced in 1977.) Kidded Shaffer: "If this doesn't soften you up, nothing will."

No word yet on when the baby's due.

On hand to celebrate was his guest Cuba Gooding Jr., who arrived on-stage, handed Letterman a cigar and offered some parenting tips.

"Life is over as you know it," Gooding said. "I'm serious, man, I got two boys. If you have a girl, maybe good luck to you."
No word how long Letterman has been with Lasko, a former production manager for Saturday Night Live, but the baby news may explain why the workaholic chatmeister took off a few extra Fridays this summer.

It's been a pretty eventful year for the late-night owl. After coming down with a bout of the shingles a few months ago that sidelined him for the first time since his heart surgery, Letterman rebounded and recently marked his decade anniversary on CBS. CBS is planning to air a 10th anniversary prime-time special next February, which could be just in time for junior.
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"David Letterman going gaga"

By JOSH GROSSBERG