Title: Never Again
Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)
Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/
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Never Again 2
By Morgana
Bobby's jaw almost hit the floor. "Sinister? What's that bastard doing inside your mind?" Stunned, he sank down on the bed. Staring at Remy, he caught the tremors coursing through the Cajun's body and the scared expression in his alien eyes. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? We can help. I'm sure someone can help. Let me get Hank and..." Bobby was about to jump to his feet, but Remy grabbed his arm, establishing a tight hold on his wrist. "Remy?"
"Non, you ain't telling Hank what's going on."
Bobby heard a scared undertone in Remy's voice. "Why? Hank only wants to help."
But Remy shook his head. "It's my problem."
Bobby frowned and sat down again. Remy's hold on him loosened slightly. "If you really believed that you wouldn't be here right now. You came here for a reason."
"The voice's driving me insane," admitted Remy. "It started a few weeks ago. It was weak at first, but it's been growing stronger..."
Bobby moistened his lips. "Remy? Betsy once told me that you had formidable mental shields. How can Sinister get through?"
Remy sighed. He should never have told Bobby what was going on. He knew Drake well enough to know that Bobby would continue to hassle him. "Shields ain't that strong anymore."
"Huh? Explain that to me?" Remy removed his hand, giving him back his freedom, but Bobby stayed where he was.
"Things changed after... Antarctica." It wasn't his favorite subject and he didn't want Bobby to know what had happened after Rogue had left him. "Shields weakened somehow. It's hard to keep things out and Sinister... He's strong."
"Yeah, I remember something about him having telepathic powers." Bobby carefully considered his next step. "So why is he in your head?" Remy's expression told him that the Cajun didn't want Sinister there and he proceeded carefully. "What does he want from you?"
Remy shook his head. "Can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"It's... painful." Bobby wouldn't want to be friends with him once Drake knew the truth and he desperately needed a friend right now.
"So he's hurting you? Is he in there right now? Talking to you?" Bobby didn't know what to think of Remy's revelations. He wanted to ask the Cajun a million questions, but realized it was the wrong time to do so. Remy needed to tell his story in his own time.
"Non, not right now... He's been quiet since you got back." Remy raised his eyes and peeked at Bobby's, surprised to find concern and acceptance. He had been scared when telling Bobby about Sinister, scared that Drake would throw him out. After all Sinister was one of the X-Men's worst enemies and he did share a history with Sinister. Enough reason for Bobby not to trust him.
"So what does he say to you?" Bobby moved a little closer, suddenly realizing that Remy's hand now rested on top of his, tightly clutching it and he didn't mind it one bit. It made him feel good to give Remy the support the Cajun needed and to provide a listening ear. He loved to help. "How bad is it?"
"I don't wanna talk about him..." Now that it was quiet in his head, he wanted to hold on to the silence.
"I can understand that you don't want to tell me," Bobby reasoned, "but please consider talking to a telepath. If your shields are so weak that Sinister can get through, we need to do something about that." Bobby gave Remy a thoughtful look. The Cajun didn't seem too happy about that suggestion. "I know you don't like Betsy, but what about Jean or the professor? I would help you myself, but I'm not a telepath. If you really want to deal with this, you'll need help."
"Not Betsy..." Remy shuddered. Betsy gave him the creeps, plus she was Warren's girlfriend. Once Betsy knew what was going on, Warren would know as well. He couldn't take that risk. "And not Jean." Same thing; Jean wouldn't be able to keep his secrets from Scott. The couple shared everything. "Maybe the professor."
"Great!" Bobby jumped to his feet and this time Remy let him. "I'm going to talk to him and bring him here. You will wait for us in my room?"
Remy sighed. No matter how much he hated the fact that Charles would find out the sordid truth, he couldn't deal with Sinister's manipulation much longer. Sinister was wearing him down.
Unexpectedly Bobby rested a hand on his arm and Remy flinched as the burn flashed with pain. He bit down the pain, trying not show it hurt, but Bobby had grown suspicious; he could see it in the brown eyes.
"I noticed the bandage earlier..." Bobby thought back to the conversation they had had in the boathouse. "Did that happen when you opened that wine bottle?"
"Oui," whispered Remy lost.
"You should let Hank have a look at it. You don't want it to become infected." Bobby didn't buy the wine bottle story any longer. "Remy, there was no wine bottle, huh? I didn't see one when I visited you and you didn't smell of wine."
Remy turned his head away from Bobby. "Maybe I'd better leave." Bobby was getting way too curious.
"No, stay. I'm sorry I asked..." Bobby quickly apologized, scared that Remy would feel cornered and run. "Just stay here. I'll be back with the professor."
Remy stared at the wall, refusing to meet Bobby's eyes. "Can't make that promise." He was risking it all by letting Charles in to his mind. He had to protect himself, the little trust and friendship Bobby showed him would vanish once Drake knew the truth.
"Please, Remy. Don't run away. Running away doesn't solve a thing. I remember when Emma Frost took over. She was inside my mind, controlling it. I couldn't stop her and I felt so damn helpless... It's easy to run, it's harder to face up to your fears."
Remy laughed bitterly. Like he didn't know that! Facing his fears was what had gotten him into this situation in the first place! "Sometimes that's no longer an option, Bobby," he whispered in the end.
"We'll figure things out, I promise." Bobby startled himself by meaning every word of that promise. He hadn't known he was this committed to helping Remy. He needed a private moment and left the room to fetch the professor.
Remy watched Bobby flee. Drake's emotions had been all over his face and he could read Bobby's face like an open book. "He cares about me... I didn't know..."
It's a game, remember! It's just a game!
Remy shook his head. "I don't believe you. I don't want you around no more, don't you understand? We're through; it's over!"
No, Remy... It'll never be over...
Overcome by the hopelessness of the situation, Remy curled up in Bobby's bed, pulled the comforter over his body and tried to hold on until Bobby's return. However, the voice never wavered and continued to drive him insane.
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"Professor? Can I have a word with you?" Bobby entered Charles' study and waited for the older man to signal him to approach.
Charles had already picked up on Bobby's distress, but had refrained from prying in to the young man's mind. It seemed that Bobby was more than willing to share. "Yes, Robert?"
"There's a problem... with Remy."
"Remy?" Charles frowned. "I haven't seen him around for some time..." Now that he came to think of it, when had he seen the Cajun for the last time?
Bobby, embarrassed, cleared his throat. "Remy's been staying at the boathouse for some weeks now... You knew that, didn't you?" Charles had been distracted lately, but had the professor really forgotten about Remy?
"Boathouse? Oh yes, I remember Scott telling me something about that." He studied Bobby closely and felt some of the young man's disappointment and yes, Bobby was right. He should have made time to spend with the team and with Remy in particular, but he was still trying to deal with the memories Onslaught had left in his mind. "What's the problem, Bobby?" He would make time now.
"Remy's been acting odd lately and when I visited him in the boathouse I got the impression he might be depressed. I offered to let him tag along on my vacation, but he refused. Last night, he suddenly appeared at my window. He rather climbed the wall than use the stairs."
Charles nodded encouragingly, realizing he had neglected Gambit's needs. For some reason they had never had the in depth conversations, which he used to have with all of his students.
"He appeared confused and was so tired that he fell asleep sitting upright on my bed. He spent the night in my room and his sleep was troubled. My guess is that he's been suffering from nightmares for quite some time." Bobby made eye contact with the professor. "Just a few minutes ago, he told me what was wrong. Sinister found a way to slip past his shields, which seem to have weakened considerably, and is now talking to him in his mind. I don't what Sinister's saying. Remy refuses to discuss it. I told him we would help him and that's why I'm here. Will you come with me, sir? Remy's still in my room, at least I hope so. He really needs your help to rebuild those shields."
Charles had listened with growing disbelief. "What? Sinister found a way to harass him telepathically? Why wasn't I told?" But the real question was, why hadn't he noticed himself? He used to have a tight connection with his students, but then again, he had never really 'bonded' with Gambit. Maybe that was the reason why he hadn't noticed the invasion, but damn it, he should have known! He was their teacher, their mentor! "Of course I will help!"
"Thank you, sir..." Bobby moved over to the doorway and waited for Charles to join him.
Charles steered his hover chair into the corridor and Bobby fell in to step beside him. "What else can you tell me about Remy and Sinister?"
"He just wants it to stop, at least that was what he called out when the pressure got too much... And there's something else..."
Charles noticed the hesitance in Bobby's voice. "Yes?"
"I..." Bobby hesitated. "First there was blood on his shirt and later I noticed a bandage. I don't believe him when he says he got hurt opening a wine bottle."
Charles nodded. "Fighting mental pain with physical pain... Remy might have turned to doing just that." That idea worried him. It meant Remy didn't trust them to help him when he really needed them.
They had reached Bobby's room and he opened the door, hoping Remy would still be in his bed. "Remy? I brought the professor." Bobby's breath caught, seeing Remy curled up on his bed, shaking like a leaf and mumbling intelligibly. "Ow, shit..."
Charles had strengthened his own shields, as he didn't want to be sucked in to Remy's mind just yet. The Cajun's pitiful state urged him in to action and he steered his hover chair over to the bed. "Remy?" Remy lay facing him and the Cajun's contorted features worried him. He frowned, finding Remy dabbing at the wound on his arm. The bandage lay on the bed, no longer protecting the wound. This called for immediate action.
"Do you want me to leave?" Bobby hoped Charles would tell him to stay. Maybe he could help somehow. Instinctively, he moved closer until he caught a glimpse of Remy's face. "You have to help him..."
"I'll try," promised Charles, "And yes, Robert, I want you to stay. Come over here and sit down behind him."
Bobby obeyed, sat down on the bed and followed Charles' instructions when the older man told him to rest his back against the headboard and to pull Remy's head in to his lap.
Now that Remy was correctly positioned, Charles placed his hands on either side of Remy's head and focused. "Robert, irregardless of what happens next, don't let Remy leave. He needs to stay in place."
Bobby nodded. "You can count on me."
Charles drew in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for this journey. "Remy, can you hear me?" The closed eyes didn't tell him much. Remy could be shutting him out on purpose or maybe the Cajun was merely fatigued.
"Oui, monsieur. I can hear you..." Remy lay motionless. Bobby was too close and the other man's body warmth seemed to warm his icy body. Feeling Charles' hands on either side of his head was an odd sensation. It had been a while since anyone had touched him.
"Bobby told me what Sinister is doing to you. Can you tell me how and when it started?" Although Charles was curious to find out more, he refrained from prying telepathically. He wanted Remy's permission to enter his mind first.
"It started after Antarctica," revealed Remy reluctantly. "My shields weakened and his voice managed to get through. He has been there ever since..." He heard Bobby's surprised gasp.
"But Antarctica happened six months ago! Are you telling me that Sinister's been harassing since six months?" Bobby raised an eyebrow. Six months? Six months of hell!
"Oui..." Remy grew calm beneath Charles' touch. The professor's fingers massaged his temples, luring him into relaxation.
"Yes, that's it." Charles nodded approvingly, as the tension flowed from Remy's body. "Can you feel Sinister right now?"
"Oui, but he's quiet. He ain't talking... But I can feel his presence." Remy suddenly became very much aware of Bobby's closeness. Drawing reassurance and comfort from the other man's presence, he let go of the last remnants of tension. Bobby and Charles were here to help him... He had to believe that.
"Yes, we're here to help you," whispered Charles as he cautiously established telepathic contact. "Remy, will you let me inside? I can locate Sinister and build defenses that will keep him out."
Remy released a choked sigh. "Oui, please..." He didn't remember what his life had been like before Sinister's voice had appeared in his mind, couldn't remember the peace and quiet he had known, but he wanted to experience it again, even if it meant letting in Charles and risk it all.
Charles closed his eyes and concentrated on his student. Remy's mind was as elusive as quicksand; every time when he thought he was completely past the Cajun's defenses, he was stopped again. Even weakened, Remy's shields were still something. "You have to relax completely, Remy. I need you to trust me."
Remy swallowed hard. "Sorry, monsieur..." Trusting someone didn't come easy these days. He forced himself to welcome the professor in his mind. A few minutes later he felt Charles' presence take shape in his mind.
What do you think you're doing, LeBeau? I told you that this was just between you and me!
Charles heard Sinister's telepathic voice and honed in on it. Sinister was very strong inside Remy's mind, anchored to the Cajun's thoughts. Shutting out Sinister would take time and effort. Hiding inside Remy's mind, Charles began building his defenses, hiding his work from Sinister. Remy, keep him busy. I'm shielding my attempts, but you need to distract him. We can't risk Sinister finding out what we're doing!
Remy shivered. It was a good thing Bobby wasn't privy to their telepathic conversation. Go away, I already told you that it's over. Why can't you accept that and let me be?
Because you belong to me in heart and soul, LeBeau. You can run, but I will always find you. You could make everything so much easier on you by accepting me again as your lover. All I want is your love, your body, your presence.
Non, what you want is my empathy and my obedience. It ain't happening, Sinister.
You just to call me Nathan, not Sinister. Don't you remember the love we shared? The time we spend together was a time filled with bliss and you threw it all away!
Remy sighed. How many times had he already tried to explain to Sinister that he wasn't interested anymore? It didn't matter; Sinister never listened. Nathan was an illusion. You hid yourself from me and gave me an illusion and I fell for it. I was young, naive and I didn't know better. Now I do.
I'm running out of patience, Remy. Deny me and you're signing your death warrant! If I can't have you, no one will.
I'd rather be dead than yours again! When I wanted to leave you, you sent me into the tunnels and had Sabertooth cut me open!
I didn't want you to die, Remy.
Non, you wanted to be my savior, nurse me back to health so I'd be eternally grateful. Guess what, it didn't work that way! Creed told me he was acting under your orders and the Med's found me before you had a chance to get to me! Because of you I nearly died and you call that love?
Remy? I'm almost ready with fortifying your shields. I want you to retreat from Sinister. Try to run away from him, let him chase you and then the shields will slam in to place.
Remy followed Charles' instructions. Sinister, I don't want you no more! He tried to retreat from the obscure presence in his mind and when Sinister tried to reach out again, the strengthened shields stopped him. Remy sighed relieved, feeling Sinister batter against his shields, but they held! "Merci, mon Dieu!"
Charles, tired, leaned back in to the comfort of his hover chair. He clasped his hands in front of him and studied Remy closely. "The shields are holding?"
"Oui, merci, monsieur." Knowing that Sinister couldn't manipulate him any more caused tears to appear in his eyes. Finally it was quiet inside his mind. But now he stared at Charles, realizing the professor had heard everything. I'm sorry... I'll leave if you want me to.
You were... what? Lovers? Charles arched an eyebrow. I have trouble believing that.
I can't talk about it, not now, maybe later... Remy abruptly tried to sit upright, startling Bobby who didn't expect him to move. His glance settled on Bobby, who looked pale and even shaky. Was something wrong? "I need to go now..."
"No, you're staying, please Remy." Charles stopped Remy by placing a hand on his arm. "Sinister's targeting you and you can't leave the mansion. At least here you are somewhat safe. Plus, we should have a look at that wound. It looks infected."
Remy stared at the burn. Charles had made a valid point. "I'll disinfect and bandage it."
"Bobby, get the first aid kit?" Charles locked eyes with Bobby. Don't tell Remy that you overheard everything. He isn't ready to reveal his involvement with Sinister/Nathan to you. I should have shut you out, but I needed a link with you in case Sinister proved too strong.
But professor do you really think they were lovers? Remy and Sinister? Bobby was trying his best to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, but learning about Remy and Sinister had shaken him. Sinister's a monster!
I know that, Bobby, but we should be careful not to judge Remy before we know all the facts. Remy also said that Sinister presented him with an illusion. Maybe Remy didn't know it was Sinister.
Bobby nodded. The professor was probably right; Sinister must have misled the Cajun. He couldn't picture Remy willingly give in to Sinister... Lovers, they had been lovers! Remy LeBeau had been attracted to a man, Remy liked men as well as women.
Recalling that Charles had asked him to get the first aid kit, he gently lowered Remy on to the bed and slipped away from underneath the Cajun's head. "I'll be back in a second." He quickly left the room, needing a moment to sort out his thoughts.
Until recently he had never given much thought to bisexuality. He had always liked girls, well, sometimes he also checked out a guy, but he had never taken the next step. He liked girls, not men! He didn't even like LeBeau in that way... or did he?
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Remy sat upright, keeping his eyes locked on the floor. He couldn't face Charles right now. Not now the professor knew one of his darkest secrets. "I'd really prefer to leave."
Charles shook his head. "We all make mistakes, Remy. That's why there are second chances."
"I don't get second chances, never have." Remy shrugged his shoulders.
"Do you want to tell me what happened between Sinister and you?"
Remy sighed. "I was young, and he gave me lots of attention. I thought it was the real thing. I needed someone to love, to love me back and I didn't ask any questions."
"Did you know who Sinister was?"
"Non. When I meet him he looked like a twenty year old. He called himself Nathan and I didn't know something was wrong. During the first few months everything was just fine but then he got possessive and I felt like a prisoner when he was around so I wanted out. I left... A few days later my powers went berserk and I ended up contacting Sinister, hoping he could help me control my powers. He performed brain surgery on me and my powers were back under control."
"How did you find out that Sinister and Nathan were one and the same person?"
"One night Sinister came on to me. I told him that I wasn't interested, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He got angry and suddenly I was looking at Nathan. That was when I realized that I had been played." Remy peeked at Charles. The professor's glance was compassionate and filled with understanding.
"I still wanted out and I tried to leave. That's when he sent me into the Morlock's tunnels. By then he must have realized that he couldn't change my mind. It's like he just said, if he can't have me, no one else will. He instructed Creed to kill me, and Creed left me for dead, but I survived. Some policemen found me and called in an ambulance." Emotionally exhausted, he closed his eyes again.
"That's why I didn't want you in my head, monsieur. I was afraid you'd find out the truth and shun me for it. If the others ever find out... then I'm history."
Charles understood Remy's fear. "I won't tell them, but we have to deal with Sinister. If he's really that obsessed with you we must find a way to stop him because he won't give up."
Remy laughed bitterly. "He'll find another way to get under my skin."
"I want you to stay at the mansion, Remy."
"I ain't sure I can do that," whispered Remy apologetically. "Too many bad vibes. Bets, Wings... Rogue... They don't want me around."
"They will have to deal with it. I'm not handing you to Sinister on a silver plate." Charles was convinced that Sinister would try again and he wanted the Cajun at the mansion where the security system would kick in should Sinister try to get to Remy.
"Hum?" Bobby cleared his throat, announcing his presence. His head was still reeling with Remy's revelations. He walked to the bed, put the first aid kit on the nightstand and waited for Charles' instructions.
"Bobby, disinfect the wound and bandage it again. I need to use Cerebro to locate Sinister." He steered his hover chair to the doorway and left, leaving Remy in Bobby's capable hands.
Bobby carefully gathered Remy's arm close and disinfected the wound. "This will hurt."
"Just do it..." The slight stinging was nothing compared to the pain he had become used to. Bobby was gentle and he appreciated that. Within minutes Bobby had the wound bandaged again.
"Now what? Are you staying?" Bobby put the first aid kit away and pulled Remy's sleeve down.
"I'd better check on my room. It was a mess the last time I saw it." Remy didn't want to leave the bed. He felt safe with Bobby.
"You can stay here if you want," offered Bobby shyly, averting his eyes.
Remy stared at him. "Are you sure?" Mon Dieu, having company was his greatest desire.
"Yeah... " Bobby gave Remy a shy look, relieved to see the Cajun smile. "That's a deal then." He didn't need to hear the words to know Remy's answer.
Remy grinned. "It's a deal, we're gonna be roommates!"
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Bobby felt a little awkward, suddenly having a roommate, but he was determined to make the best of it. "What do you wanna do with dinner? Eat downstairs or...?"
"I'd rather not go downstairs," admitted Remy gingerly. Except for Bobby and Charles no one knew he was around and he didn't want to run in to anyone, especially Warren, Betsy and Rogue in particular. "I should return to the boathouse." He sat on the bed, staring at the floor while nervously wringing his hands. "I don't wanna be a bother."
"You're not! Hey, I invited you to stay, remember? I wouldn't do that when I didn't want you here." Bobby wasn't sure how to deal with Remy's depressed mood. "So you want me to get us something to eat? Are you hungry?"
"Not really," sighed Remy. What he could really use was a shower and a new set of clothes, but he didn't dare head for his room.
"What?" Bobby noticed the frown on Remy's brow.
"Could you get some things from my room?"
"Sure." Bobby smiled. "What do you need, except for the obvious?"
"Just some clothes, maybe a few books? It looks like I'm gonna be cooped up here for some time and... I haven't had a chance to read in such a long while."
"Sinister?" Bobby studied Remy closely. The deadly paleness was retreating from the Cajun's face and the gleam of insanity had left the alien eyes. Remy looked better.
"Oui, he was always there, whispering. It's strange, the silence. I need to get used to it again."
Bobby recalled Remy's earlier confession of Sinister and he being lovers. He would love to ask the Cajun some personal questions, but couldn't. Remy didn't know that he had overheard the telepathic exchange with Charles. "Sure, I'll get you some books. I hope you don't mind me watching cartoons... It's a tradition." He always tuned in to the cartoons at ten PM.
Remy smiled weakly. "I don't mind." He was more than grateful that Bobby allowed him to stay. He wasn't sure he could go back to the loneliness of the boathouse.
"All right then. I'm going to fetch us some dinner and the things you need from your room. Why don't you already start that shower? Towels are in the bathroom and you can use my shampoo, no problem."
"Merci," said Remy, suddenly wondering why Bobby was this friendly, but no, Drake didn't have a hidden agenda, at least he hoped not. For once in his life he hoped he had found someone who wanted to help without wanting something in return. Maybe he was fooling himself, but then again, what was life without hope?
Bobby left the room and Remy headed for the bathroom, which was surprisingly tidy. He had always thought Bobby would be messy, but everything was spotless. He undressed, dropping his ripe clothes to the floor. He had burst out in to a cold sweat when the professor had entered his mind and the stench still clung to him.
He stepped beneath the spray and let the warm water cascade down his body. The warmth felt good. Mentally exhausted, he leaned against the wall, resting his forehead against the tiles. Where would he have been without Bobby and Charles interfering? Probably in hell with Sinister as his own personal nemesis tormenting him.
When he had looked in to Charles' eyes he hadn't seen any disgust, which was amazing. After all, the professor had just learned that Sinister had used him, used him as his personal whore, but back then it hadn't felt like that. He had thought he had found true love with Nathan. What a joke. The man had only used him for his personal satisfaction.
Shivering, he switched off the water, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his dripping hair. Next, he used another towel to dry his skin. Merde, the bandage had gotten wet and needed to be changed. He could do that himself.
He slung a towel around his waist and headed for the bedroom. He picked up the med kit from the table and sat down, staring at the wound, which had sealed. The urge to scratch it open again overwhelmed him, he wanted to see the blood flow again. He rubbed the wound with his fingers, his nails ready to dig in to his flesh, but then the door opened and Bobby walked inside, balancing a tray and carrying a duffle bag filled with his personal stuff.
"What are you doing, Remy?" Bobby frowned. He hoped Remy was merely redressing the wound and not dabbing it open.
"Changing the bandage," whispered Remy in a choked tone. Now that Bobby had returned, he couldn't follow through and quickly redressed the wound.
"Here are some clothes. Get decent, man." Bobby threw Remy the duffle bag. "But don't take too long or else dinner will get cold."
Remy caught the bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Briefly he stared at his reflection in the mirror, surprised at the lucid expression in his eyes. Yes, he was feeling better, more in control. He quickly dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and put on warm socks so his feet wouldn't grow cold. Within three minutes he joined Bobby again, who had placed the tray on his desk, after shoving his papers and action figures aside.
"I hope you're hungry! Jean made turkey, baked potatoes and greens. Dig in, man."
Remy sat down and stared at the food. He wasn't so sure that his stomach would appreciate eating dinner, but he had to try. Bobby had gone through all this trouble to get him some food and clean clothes.
"I also brought some books. Man, I didn't know you had such a collection! Almost every book I looked at was a first edition! They must be valuable." Bobby was almost halfway through emptying his plate while Remy hadn't taken a bite yet. "Come on, Jean's a good cook. Give it a try."
Remy sighed, but complied. After the first bite he had to admit that Bobby was right. "Tastes good."
Bobby shot Remy a quick glance. "Scott asked about you."
Remy's eyes widened. "He doesn't know I'm here, does he?"
"I think he does. I don't know how. I didn't tell him and I'm the professor didn't mention it either. But Scott wanted to know how you were doing. We were alone and..."
"What did you tell him, Bobby?"
"That you were doing better. I didn't mention Sinister, or the professor helping you." A restless expression appeared in Remy's eyes. "Come on, Remy, you can't hide forever."
In his heart Remy knew Bobby was right, but he wasn't ready yet to reveal himself, not when Sinister was still battering against his shields. Although Sinister could no longer talk to him in his mind, he still felt Sinister hover at the edges of his mind. Sinister would never give up, but Bobby and the professor didn't know that yet. This was only a temporary reprieve; Sinister would eventually come for him.
"Remy?" Bobby worried about the lost look on Remy's face. At least the Cajun had eaten half of his dinner.
Remy remained quiet, pushed his plate away and stared listlessly ahead of him. The thought that Sinister merely needed to open a tesseract to get to him made him feel queasy.
"What is it? I can tell you're brooding..." Bobby refused to give up. He would make Remy open up to him.
"It's Sinister," escaped Remy unintended. Merde, he didn't want Bobby to worry about his problems. Drake had already helped him enough.
Bobby nodded encouragingly. "Yes?"
"Nothing stops him from coming to get me." Remy closed his eyes briefly. "He's strong, homme. The mansion's defenses don't stop him."
"But the X-Men can!" Bobby sounded confident and he gave Remy a reassuring smile.
"Ai, homme, you don't really think that, do you?" He hated to kill Bobby's dreams and hopes.
"We're strong enough! Scott can kick Sinny's ass! He's done it before!" Bobby nodded enthusiastically, but the depressed look on Remy's face made him frown. "What? You don't believe he can take on Sinny? Sinister fears that optic blast!"
"Bobby, homme..." Remy nervously licked his lips. "You can't think they'll defend me! Be honest, most team members can't stand me or hate my guts... Especially since Antarctica." Disillusioned Remy got to his feet and walked over to the window. "They'll be glad to be rid of me... Why do you think I was living at the boathouse?"
"That's not true!" Bobby rose as well and joined the Cajun at the window. "Hank still feels guilty for leaving you and Scott... Well, I got the impression he's kinda worried about you. He's been having trouble sleeping lately and you might be the reason for that. He's worried, Remy, true."
Remy didn't buy it. "Even if that's true, that's only two people, the rest don't want me here."
"I want you here," whispered Bobby shyly. Remy averted his eyes, looking outside and Bobby bit his bottom lip. Stupid! Why did you have to say that! Now you made him uncomfortable.
"I believe you..." Remy cautiously made eye contact. "And that means a lot to me."
"And then there's Jean, and the professor... I'm sure they want you here." Bobby did his best to cover his shyness. "And I'm sure Logan won't let Sinny get his hands on you. That's half of the team, if not more."
Remy managed a weak smile. "Merci, Bobby." It had been ages since someone had tried to make him feel good.
Bobby cleared his throat. Was he imagining things or was there some sort of tension building between them? Uh-huh, this wasn't good. He was starting to feel as shy as a schoolboy. What the hell was going on? Trying to create some distance between them, he moved to the bed, switched on the TV and tuned in to his daily dose of cartoons. "There are also some books in the duffle bag." Looking at the tray he decided to take it to the kitchen tomorrow.
Remy nodded. He had felt the odd tension himself and it had him puzzled. He rummaged through the bag and found his first edition of David Copperfield. It was the first book poppa had ever read to him when he had been a child. Not wanting to infringe on Bobby's personal space, he tried to make himself comfortable on the window sill, pulling up his legs and leaning back for support.
Bobby watched silently. He loved sitting in the window sill and reading like that. It looked like they had more in common than he had ever imagined.
His thoughts continued to drift away from the cartoons. They drifted back to Remy. "Can I ask you something?"
Remy startled slightly and looked up from his book. "What do you wanna know?"
"Why did you move to the boathouse? No one made you."
Yes, that was true. No one had ordered him to leave the mansion. Remy moistened his lips and stared ahead of him. "I didn't feel comfortable here, still don't. I don't belong here. I don't have the right to be here, not after..." His openness stunned him. Why was he telling Bobby these things?
"Why didn't you tell someone that Sinister was harassing you? Don't you trust anyone at all? No one?" Not even me?
Remy avoided looking in to Bobby's eyes, uncertain what he would find there. "I'm the traitor. I got the Morlocks killed. No one trusts me, so why should I trust anyone?"
Bobby swallowed hard. "I don't know what happened in the tunnels, but I don't believe for one second that you willingly participated in that slaughter." Please tell me you didn't, Remy.
Remy tensed. It was hard for him to talk about that time in the tunnels. "I didn't know what Creed and the Marauders were up to. Sinister told me he wanted the Morlocks for research, to lessen their misery. When I realized what was really happening, I tried to fight them off, but Creed was too strong. They left me for dead in those tunnels. I didn't want any of the Morlocks to die."
Bobby's breath caught, seeing the tears that rolled down Remy's face. "I'm so sorry."
"Non, part of the massacre is my fault. I believed Sinister when I should have known better.
Was it because they were lovers? Was that why he believed Sinister? Bobby still had trouble picturing them as a couple. Sinister was insane! What would Remy want with the maniac?
He had lost his interest in the cartoons by now and a yawn overwhelmed him. "Man, I'm tired and I didn't do a thing all day!" But it was the emotional strain that was wearing him down. Ever since finding Remy outside of his window, his world had been turned upside down. "I'm seriously considering turning in for the night."
Bobby left the bed, disappeared in to the bathroom, carrying a shirt and sweat pants with him. He figured he would play it safe and wear more clothes to bed than he usually did.
A moment later, he returned, finding Remy putting a pillow and a blanket on the floor. The Cajun had removed his jeans and was wearing a long T-shirt. "What are you doing?" Bobby frowned.
"It's your bed, homme. I'm not invading it." Remy tried to smile, but failed. He was tired as well, and he longed to crawl in to a warm and soft bed, but the only one he could crawl in to was his own and that bed was in another room. "Slept on the floor before, not a problem."
Okay, what was he going to do now? He couldn't let Remy sleep on the cold floor! "Uhm, bed's big enough for both of us. Just stay on your side and everything will be fine." Not giving Remy a chance to argue, he grabbed the pillow and blanket and deposited them back on to the bed.
"Are you sure?" Remy didn't want to impose.
"Yeah, I'm sure..." He checked the time. "I can't believe I'm turning in this early. It's only eleven!" Remy yawned and Bobby realized that the Cajun was just as tired as he was, maybe even more. "Come on, let's get some sleep."
Bobby lay down on his side of the bed and watched Remy climb in as well, staying as far as possible on his side of the bed. "This is weird, isn't it?" Maybe talking about it would make it less awkward. He had never shared a bed with a man before.
"Oui, it's weird..." Remy turned away from Bobby and curled up on his side, wanting to give Bobby as much privacy as possible.
"Night, Remy."
"Night, Bobby." Yes, this was weird! Bobby killed the lights and Remy smiled in the dark, relieved that Bobby couldn't see his burning eyes. Maybe he would be able to actually sleep tonight now that he wasn't alone.
Bobby moved, turned on to his side as well and Remy listened to Bobby's breathing for long minutes. The other man's breathing slowed down and became deeper. Bobby had fallen asleep.
Staring at the clock, he watched time tick away. Usually he would toss and turn, but now he didn't want to wake Bobby and he remained motionless. Listening to Bobby's breathing soothed him and the tension began to leave his body.
Something sharp tugged at his mind, trying to gain his attention; Sinister. Remy flinched, curled up in fetal position and concentrated on maintaining the shields Xavier had built. They held, but he could still feel Sinister behind those walls.
He'll never leave me alone. Why am I trying to fool myself? Sinister won't ever give up on me. Why did I ever get involved with Nathan? If I had known who he was, I would have run! But he had been lured in to the trap Sinister had so masterly orchestrated. He had never stood a chance.
Frozen, he barely dared to breath. What if Sinister found a way to get to him anyways? The scientist only needed to open a tesseract in this very room and could then drag him off without anyone noticing it. Bobby would probably sleep right through it.
That was it. Now he couldn't sleep anymore. He was afraid to close his eyes. Staring in to the dark room, his alien eyes showed him everything.