Title: Never Again
Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)
Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/
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Never Again 6
By Morgana
"Robert, why don't you lie down and get some sleep yourself?" Hank had watched his friend closely during the last four hours. Bobby was still clutching Remy's hand and seemed unwilling to leave the Cajun's side for even one moment.
"I'm fine, Hank, I really am, but I could do with some Twinkies." His eyes sparkled tiredly. He was overjoyed that Remy was back, but couldn't forget about his own stupidity. "I yelled at him, you know."
"Why?" Hank saw Bobby's need to talk and pulled up a chair.
"I wanted to kill Sinister, I still do, but Remy stopped me. I don't know why." Bobby stared at the floor. "I know Sinister hurt Remy, so why would he protect the bastard?"
Hank nodded once. "You're confused."
"Yes, I mean, Hank, Sinister hurt him... and yet Remy protects him. It makes no sense..." But something else was haunting Bobby. What if Sinister had managed to win Remy over? They had been lovers in the past. Maybe those screams had been screams of passion? No, he couldn't believe that, but maybe Remy still had feelings for Sinister? Oh, man, he couldn't believe that either!
Hank thought quickly. "Maybe our Cajun friend didn't want you to commit murder?"
Bobby shook his head once. "Nah, that can't be it..." He was growing desperate to change their topic. "So how are you doing? You look better."
"I feel better, thank you, Robert. The antibiotics are working and I should be one hundred percent in a few days. And yes, I am well enough to work."
"What do I do? Warren hates Remy's guts and he's one of my best friends..." Bobby's thoughts had once more drifted back to Remy. "I don't wanna choose."
"Do you really think it'll come down to that?" Hank doubted Warren would force Bobby to choose. They had been friends, team-mates, family for way too long. In the end, Warren would accept this. However, he wasn't so sure about Betsy.
"I'm scared it will. Oh man, why am I doing this to myself? I don't even know if Remy still wants me!"
Hank arched an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't he want to be with you? I thought your feelings are mutual."
"They were... But then I started yelling at him and I walked out on him... I don't know if he'll forgive me for that. He needed me and I deserted him."
"Why did you leave, Robert?" Hank kept a close eye on Remy and found that the Cajun was slowly waking up.
"I was so angry with Sinister and then Remy stops me... I was..."
Hank finished for Bobby. "You're scared that Remy no longer loves you, but why?"
Shit, he couldn't tell Hank about Remy and Nathan/Sinister being lovers. "Don't know." He shrugged, hoping Hank wouldn't pressure him. A soft moan from Remy alerted him that the Cajun was waking up. "Hank, what do I do? What do I say? How do I apologize? Will he forgive me? Fuck, I can't do this..." He almost jumped to his feet, but Remy's hand tightened around his and stopped him. Ashamed, he stared in to Remy's eyes.
Remy blinked once, twice, wondering if the sedative was now making him hallucinate. Why would Bobby be at his side? That didn't make sense. Tiredly, he closed his eyes again, but they flashed open again, realizing he was holding Bobby's hand. So Bobby was here after all. Why?
Hank intervened, seeing their confusion. Neither Bobby, nor Remy, seemed able to think rationally. "Hello there, my Cajun friend. It looks like the sedative has worn off. You might still experience some vertigo and sleepiness, but you should recover quickly. Would you like some water?"
His throat hurt and he had heard Hank's offer, but he felt unable to speak as Bobby's eyes held him prisoner. What did he read in them? What did he sense empathy wise? Mon Dieu, he was spying on Bobby, who didn't know what was going on! He quickly pulled back his empathy and forced himself to answer Hank. "Water would be bien. Merci."
"I'll get some for you. Robert here will keep you company while I'm gone." Hank discretely left, intent on returning with the water after the two of them had talked.
Alone with Remy now, Bobby cleared his throat. Man, he really didn't know how to start. Maybe Remy would forgive him if he started with an apology. "Remy..."
"Bobby..." They spoke simultaneously, but Remy was the one who grew silent, giving Bobby a chance to speak first. Even though he had complete control over his empathy, he could still feel Bobby's distress.
Bobby left his chair and knelt on the floor next to Remy's bed. He claimed both the Cajun's hands and rubbed them gently. He took a moment to think about what he wanted to say and then met Remy's eyes. "Remy, I'm so sorry."
Remy frowned. "What are you sorry for?" Bobby hadn't done anything wrong! He understood perfectly that Bobby didn't want him after he had handed himself over to Sinister.
"For yelling at you like that. I just couldn't believe that you wanted me to spare Sinister. Why? He hurt you!" Bobby was losing his calm again, but this time he stayed in control of his feelings.
Remy moistened his chapped lips. "Bobby, I felt your rage, but I also felt him. I couldn't let you commit murder. You're much too special to take a life. I don't want you to carry that burden for the rest of your life."
"I would gladly carry that burden if it meant knowing you safe!" Bobby's voice carried great determination. "I won't let him hurt you ever again, Remy."
Remy managed a weak smile. "Means a lot to me, hearing that, Bobby." Now he felt truly confused. Why was Bobby apologizing for yelling at him? Bobby had had every right to be angry with him!
"Make me a promise? Please, Remy?" Bobby looked at Remy pleadingly.
"What?" Had he felt confused before? Now he felt lost and mystified.
"I... know what you let Sinister do in order to get Hank and I out. Promise me to never do it again? I don't want you to go through that kinda pain for me." Bobby's heart contracted, seeing Remy grow pale. "Don't get me wrong, I know why you did, but I... Damn, this isn't coming out right. I just wish I could have gotten you out, before..."
Remy purely acted on instinct. "I did it because I needed to know you safe. I didn't want Sinister to grow interest in you... in that way. I had to get you out and Hank was ill and..."
Bobby released a deep breath. "Can you forgive me, Remy?" He changed his position and sat down on the side of the bed.
"Forgive you? I'm the one who needs to ask for..." The shock in Bobby's eyes took his breath away.
"I'm not mad with you, Remy. You went to Sinister willingly because you wanted to save our lives... The only thing I didn't understand until now was why you wouldn't let me kill him. I'm so sorry for walking out on you. I deserted you when you needed me." Bobby lowered his eyes. "Please forgive me for walking out on you. I should have stayed with you. Instead Warren had to take you to the Medlab."
Now things were starting to make sense to Remy. "Cher, there's nothing to forgive. I understand that you were upset." A little spark of hope began to burn inside his heart. Maybe he hadn't lost Bobby yet? "Cher, please forgive me as well?"
"What for?" Bobby sighed deeply and then moved closer to Remy. He rested his back against the wall and he held his breath as Remy moved in to his arms.
"I didn't want him to touch me, but what could I do? I didn't want to be with him in that way... I..." He felt miserable, but Bobby was still here, against all odds.
"I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. I'm sorry you got hurt, love. Are you still hurting? Is there anything Hank can do to make you more comfortable?" Bobby finally touched Remy's hair, stroked the silky locks gently.
"Non, I'm bien. Just very tired." Now that he knew they were okay, fatigue was sneaking up on him again.
"Then close your eyes and go to sleep, Remy."
"You'll stay?" Remy closed his eyes, cuddled closer to Bobby and relaxed.
"Yeah, of course I'll stay..." Bobby smiled, tucked Remy's head beneath his chin and pressed a kiss on the Cajun's hair. "I love you..."
Remy smiled, quickly dozing off. "Je t'aime, cher... Mon Dieu, so tired..."
"It's okay, Remy... Just go to sleep." The Cajun relaxed against him and the steady breathing told Bobby that Remy had fallen asleep. He looked up when Hank arrived with the water.
"Did you talk, Robert?"
"Yeah, we're fine, Hank... Oh, I missed him so much... I didn't know love could feel like this."
Hank smiled. "Treasure love, Robert. Treasure it." Satisfied that the young lovers were fine, he returned to his office. He needed to update Scott and the professor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you comfortable?" Bobby fussed over Remy when installing the Cajun in his bed. He pulled the comforter over Remy, who was wearing sweats to keep warm.
Remy smiled. "Oui, cher, I'm bien." He had been relieved when Hank had told him that he could leave the Medlab, but not before Hank had questioned him about the burns on his thigh. He had lied his way out of it, but Bobby hadn't been fooled that easily. Bobby had waited until they were alone and had pleaded with him to never burn himself again. He had been hesitant to promise Bobby that, but the other man had pushed him until he had vowed to talk to Bobby when he got too stressed.
"Anything you want? Something to eat? Drink? Hot chocolate maybe?" Bobby stood back, looked at his handiwork and grinned. Remy resembled a mummy, wrapped up in the comforter like that.
"A shot of Bourbon?" Remy grinned, seeing Bobby shook his head. "Thought so."
Bobby sat down on the side of the bed and studied Remy's face. The Cajun was doing extremely well, even surprising Hank with his quick recovery. "Remy, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Remy instantly turned seriously. "Cher?" He sensed Bobby's discomfort; something definitely worried his lover.
Bobby cleared his throat, averted his eyes and played with a corner of the comforter. "When you and Sinister had sex I heard you scream."
Remy swallowed hard; he didn't want to discuss this with his lover. It made him feel awkward. "I thought we'd covered that?"
"He forced you, didn't you?" Bobby hesitantly made eye contact.
Remy immediately looked away, stared at the wall. "Oui."
"What does that mean for us? Can I still touch you?" Bobby hated how selfish that sounded. "I mean..."
"I know what you mean, cher." Remy forced himself to return Bobby's shy glance. "It might be awkward for a while, but I want to be with you in that way... in time."
Bobby felt relieved. "Anything I should look out for? Shouldn't do?"
"Non, I'm bien. Just give me some time."
"You'll get all the time you need, love." Bobby blushed. He was still getting used to calling Remy love.
"Why don't you join me in bed, cher? We can cuddle, watch your cartoons and... "
"Rest. You're gonna rest. We're not doing anything else." Bobby removed his jeans and sweater and slipped into bed wearing a shirt and boxers. Remy's arms opened and he snuggled up to his lover. "I'm so glad you're back."
"Me too," admitted Remy in an emotional tone. Hugging Bobby close, he hoped Sinister would leave him alone in the future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charles sipped his tea, considering Scott's question. "You're right, Scott. Remy still feels like he doesn't belong here, isn't wanted here. We need to change that, find a way to reunite this family." Scott had shown up in his study rather unexpectedly, wanting to talk to him about Remy.
Scott nodded once. "I don't want to repeat past mistakes, sir. Remy asked if he could move back in to the boathouse when Hank released him, luckily Bobby changed Remy's mind, but it showed me that our Cajun still doesn't feel welcome."
"He doesn't know that we were ready to get him out. Remy assumes nothing has changed." Charles stared into the hot tea, imagining he saw Remy's face in the swirls. "Maybe I know of a way..."
Scott shifted on his chair. "What way, sir?"
"We need to make this official so Remy knows we're serious."
"Yes, sir, but how?"
Charles put down his cup of tea. "Remy needs to trust again and we need to unite the family. I propose that every team member visits and talks to Remy, maybe give him a token of their friendship."
Scott nodded once. "That would make things more intimate, more private. It would give people some closure. But will everyone participate?"
Charles realized whom Scott was referring to. "I think Warren will, but I'm not so sure about Betsy."
"And Rogue when she gets back. I doubt she'll want to make that commitment."
"We'll just have to wait and see." Charles hoped this would work. "I'll talk to the team, let them know about our idea and then we'll see what happens."
Scott rose from his chair and walked over to the doorway. "Jean and I will participate."
"I know you will," said Charles, smiling gently. He only anticipated problems with Warren and Betsy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Uhm, did I understand you correctly? You want me to go to Gambit and make my peace with him?" Warren frowned. "It's more like he owns me an apology for what he did."
"And what's that?" Charles kept one eye on Warren, who was at least considered his request, and one on Betsy, who hadn't said a single word yet. She seemed disinterested and he doubted so would comply so he doubled his efforts to convince Warren.
"Working for Sinister, leading the Marauders in to those tunnels, where..." Warren swallowed hard. A lump formed in his throat, keeping him from finishing his sentence.
"Where your wings were damaged." Charles nodded, understanding what Warren was struggling with. "Remy made mistakes in the past, I can't and won't deny that, but you made your share of mistakes as well, Warren. You can't judge him without judging yourself. I never understood why Remy had to carry all the blame and guilt, while you carry some yourself. Why pick on Remy? Logan made his mistakes so did Scott. I never senses you condemn them, but you do condemn Remy."
Busted. Warren drew in a deep breath. "I just don't like him."
"Why?" Charles noticed that Betsy had left the room. Apparently she wasn't interested in making her peace with Remy.
Warren didn't want to get in to this. He had a hard time labeling his feelings. "I don't know, sir. Maybe it's because he's the exact opposite of me."
Charles raised an eyebrow, realizing that Warren was trying to get away from the subject. He decided to let him. "You know what I want you to do. Will you talk to Remy or not?"
Warren fought his own inner battle and barely heard the professor. "I'm not sure."
"Think about it, Warren. We always were a team, a family. Here's one who needs a family more than anything. Ask yourself if you can watch his back in battle, if you trust him to watch yours..." Charles steered his wheelchair toward the doorway. "Bobby's going first, then Scott and Jean will follow. Hank and Logan also agreed to my plan. I doubt Betsy will participate, but I'd hate to lose you. Remember, Bobby considers you one of his best friends. Are you willing to lose all that?" Charles left then, hoping Warren would make the right decision.
Warren stared at the wall for a long time, then unfolded his feather wings, opened a window and took to the sky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bobby hoped that Charles' plan would work. During the last forty-eight hours Remy had been mostly asleep, waking up to eat a bite and take a shower. Maybe sending everyone up to talk to the Cajun was pushing it. Well, they would find out quickly enough. It was now up to him to explain to Remy what was going to happen and why.
"Hey, Remy, you're awake yet?" Bobby smiled at the man in his arms. Remy yawned, stretched and nodded his head. "Good, because there's something you need to know."
"What, cher?"
"The professor has this... plan. He wants us to welcome you to our little family." Remy grew pale and that worried Bobby. "Don't worry about it, it'll be cool. Everyone's coming up to talk to you and give you a little welcoming present."
Remy's eyes narrowed; he obviously didn't trust Charles' plan. "Not good."
"Why?"
Remy sighed deeply. "Cher, I'm happy with you. I don't need the others."
"You're part of the team," reminded Bobby Remy. "And I'm going first."
Remy realized Bobby was serious and couldn't be stopped. "What do you want me to do?"
"Can you get comfortable on the couch?" Remy would probably feel uncomfortable lying in bed when everyone came to visit.
"Sure..." Remy got to his feet and sank down on the couch. He shivered, growing cold now that he missed the warm comforter. He smiled when Bobby covered him with a blanket. "Merci, cher. I'd be lost without you."
Bobby grinned and sat down next to Remy. "Okay, here we go."
Remy tensed, uncertain what to expect. What nonsense had Charles put in to everyone's head? And why were they willing to go through with this? "Bobby, cher?"
"Please let me do this, Remy?" Bobby turned his puppy dog look on Remy, drew in a deep breath and claimed Remy's hands. "When Storm brought you to the mansion I wasn't sure what to make of it. I liked having some young around, hoping we could connect and get up to some mischief, but things changed radically after the trial. I treated you with distrust, not sure what to think of your involvement with Sinister. Then Rogue told us you had died at Antarctica, only you turned up later at the mansion and you moved back in to the boathouse. I never realized I was attracted to you, until then."
Remy's eyes grew watered. "Bobby..."
"No, listen." Bobby gently squeezed Remy's hands. "I'm not afraid to say I love you, not anymore. I was at the beginning. I'm proud to have you as my lover and... there's only one thing that worries me."
"Sinister?" Remy's stomach contracted painfully.
"No, you using your powers to hurt yourself. You have to stop doing that. Talk to me when you're stressed."
"I already promised you that..."
Bobby nodded once. "And I hope you'll keep your word. Remy, I love you, I want to get to know you better. I'll accept whatever past you'll reveal to me. Just don't ever shut me out. I love you."
Remy cleared his throat. "Bobby, cher, I love you too..."
"I also got a present for you. It's not much, but... I want you to have it." Bobby released Remy's hands and ice formed in the palm of his hand.
Awed, Remy watched, then smiled, recognizing the two men Bobby had formed with his powers. "It's a shame it'll melt."
"It won't." Bobby blushed. "It's gonna stay like this forever." He placed the ice sculpture on the window sill behind Remy. "Do you like it?" He had done his best to make the resemblance work.
"Love it, cher." Touched, Remy stared at their icy counterparts. Holding each other close, the ice sculpture was beautiful. "I'll always treasure it."
Bobby leaned in closer and claimed Remy's lips. They hadn't gone any further than kissing and cuddling, and they would know when they were ready to take the final step.
A soft knock on the door disturbed their kissing. "That's Scott and Jean," whispered Bobby.
"Don't leave me alone with them?"
"Sorry, love, but you should talk to them in private. I'll be back once everyone talked to you." He didn't want to let Remy go, but the knock sounded again. "I'll be back shortly, I promise." He checked one more time if Remy was warm and comfortable and then headed for the doorway. "They want you here and this is their way of letting you know. Just listen to them, okay?"
Remy nodded, uncertain if his vocal chords were still working, overwhelmed by sudden emotion. Bobby opened the door and stepped aside to let Scott and Jean enter. Remy instinctively lowered his eyes, avoiding looking at them. He didn't want Bobby to leave, but when the door closed, he sensed that his lover was no longer in the same room.
"Remy?" Jean approached first, closely followed by her husband. "Can we talk to you?"
Well, it wasn't like he had a choice in the matter! Remy cringed when Scott pulled up a chair and Jean sat down next to him. Hopefully this was over quickly!
"Remy? Look at us?" Jean slowly closed her fingers around Remy's, and exchanged a worried look with her husband. Remy seemed distant and withdrawn.
Remy knew better than to fight Jean and looked at her.
"Thank you." Jean smiled and even Scott managed a smile.
"Remy?" Scott nodded once, telling Jean that he wanted to go first and she let him. "Remy, I'm sorry that I didn't check on you when Rogue left you behind at Antarctica. I don't know what was wrong with me! I get so mad at myself, knowing I left you there!"
Remy frowned. "Cyke?" That wasn't what he had expected to hear! He had thought they would lecture him about Sinister, the tunnels and all the other mistakes he had made.
"Scott's serious," said Jean gently. "We both regret not going back. I promise you we won't make the same mistake twice."
Scott nodded firmly. "We're sorry, Remy. Sorry that we never tried to make you part of this family. The others would have followed if I had tried harder. The question is, are you going to give me a second chance to make this work?"
Remy's confusion grow stronger. "It wasn't your fault. I should have come clean earlier, but I was scared. I knew you'd kick me out once you knew the truth."
"Damn it." Scott bit his lip. "You're probably right, but maybe we should look at the future instead? Make a new start?"
Jean smiled reassuringly. "The X-Men are a family and we used to take care of each other. We failed you in the past."
Remy was speechless. "Don't know... what to say."
"I hope that's a yes?" Scott grinned pleased. "I really want to make this work."
"And so do I." Jean smiled as well, then uncovered something from a pocket. "We want you to have this."
Remy stared at the picture. It had been taken at Jean's birthday a few years ago when things had been all right. They had tolerated him, had started to accept him, but then...
"I know that we can't take your real family's place," said Jean softly, "But we can try to replace them as long as you're here."
A lump formed in Remy's throat. "Mon Dieu... Jean...Cyke..." He really didn't know what to say. They had completely surprised him. He barely refrained from pulling away when Scott placed a hand on his arm. "Cyke?"
"My name's Scott, Remy. I know I didn't call you Remy in the past either... maybe we can change that too?"
"Maybe... Scott." Remy clutched the framed picture and his eyes were drawn to Bobby's ice sculpture. He was quickly gaining friends.
Jean caught the direction of his glance. "They would go nicely together."
Remy took the hint and placed the picture next to the sculpture. "Merci..." His voice trembled with emotion.
Jean realized that Remy needed a moment to compose himself. "Come on, Scott, we're leaving. We'll see Remy at dinner later."
Scott and Jean rose and smiled warmly. Remy had never felt this confused before and he returned their smiles, feeling shy. What had just happened?
The door closed behind the couple and Remy rested his head against a pillow. Mon Dieu, he was glad this one was over! Another knock on the door startled him. "Oh non, mon Dieu, now what?"
"Gumbo? Are ya in there? We need to talk."
"Logan..." Remy gulped.
Logan simply opened the door, not waiting for Remy's permission. "Yer lookin' betta, Cajun."
Remy involuntarily tried to move to the other end of the couch when Logan sank down beside him. "Something wrong?" Why else would Logan be here?
"Charlie convinced me to talk to ya, so that's why I'm here. I don't do speeches, bub, so..." Logan had to admit that Remy looked better. The Cajun was recovering quickly, which pleased him. It was good to know that Sinister had failed to break the young Cajun. "Charlie mentioned talkin' to ya and givin' ya somethin' personal." He uncovered his dog tags. "Here, kid, I want ya to have them. Ya showed a lot of courage, but we never really acknowledged it. I remember when I got here, I hated everyone. Now I play poker, laugh and made friends. I hope we can become good friends as well."
Remy stared at the dog tags in his hands. The metal felt cold to the touch. "I can't accept them, mon ami. They remind you of the past..."
"A past that consists of false memories. I rather make new ones." Logan grinned, bared his teeth and patted Remy on the shoulder. "Welcome home, kid."
His empathy told Remy that Logan was more emotional than the Canadian wanted him to know and he didn't hold Logan back when the older man made his way over to the door. "Merci, Logan."
Logan nodded and quickly left. It wasn't like him to show his emotions.
Remy caressed the dog tags with his fingertips. Why had Logan given him something that personal? Another knock echoed through the room. "Mon Dieu, non, enough!"
"Remy? Are you up to entertaining more visitors? I can come back later..." Hank didn't want to tire Remy.
"Henri?" Remy arched an eyebrow. He had thought that Logan had been the last one to visit him! "You can come inside, mon ami."
Hank entered, smiled and sat down on the chair Scott had pulled up to the couch. "How are you doing, Remy? You look tired."
"I'm bien, Henri. What are you doing here?"
Hank's smile faded. "I want to ask for your forgiveness."
"What?" Remy felt shocked. "You didn't do anything wrong!"
"I left you behind at Antarctica."
"You were wounded!"
"That's no excuse," said Hank firmly. "I should have told them to turn the Blackbird around and collect you." He had felt guilty ever since Antarctica.
Remy sensed that guilt. "Don't do this to yourself, Henri. You did the best you could. I don't blame you for a thing!" Suddenly Hank took hold of his hands.
"Remy, I didn't want to leave you behind and my failure has been tormenting me ever since. I'm so sorry I didn't come back for you. Please forgive me."
Remy wanted to assure Hank once more that he had done nothing wrong, but sensed how deep Hank's feelings of guilt were. Only forgiveness would help Hank heal. Although he still felt there was nothing to forgive, he nodded. "I forgive you, Henri." He sensed the relief that floated through Hank upon hearing those words and they laughed nervously.
"And now for my gift." Hank grinned wickedly, and then placed a few Twinkies in Remy's lap. "I hope you like them. And by the way, you're welcome to join Bobby and I when we'll go on our next midnight Twinkie Run."
Remy smiled, knowing what a privilege that was. Not even Warren was allowed to go on a Twinkie Run! "Merci, Henri, don't know what to say." Everything overwhelmed him and the surprises didn't seem to end.
"I'll leave you alone now. Looks to me like there's a lot you need to digest. I'll see you at dinner." Hank carefully enfolded Remy in his long arms, hugged the Cajun and then left quietly.
Remy sat reeling from that hug. Hank had never hugged him before. Smiling at the Twinkies, he considered eating one. His stomach was hungry for something sweet. He leaned back, pulled up the comforter to his shoulders and relaxed. Hank had been the last. He would have some peace and quiet now... that was until Bobby returned! Maybe he could even nap for a few minutes!
His eyes flashed open, hearing a knock on his door that shouldn't have been there. "Bobby?"
"No, it's I, Warren."
Warren? Merde, shit, fuck... Remy almost panicked. What did Warren want? Why wasn't Bobby here when he needed him?
"Can we talk, Gambit?"
Remy shivered. Warren always sounded so cold, and he was inclined to tell Warren no, but then his empathy reached out. His eyes grew big, sensing Warren's nervousness. Even some regret seemed mixed in. Before he knew it, he had said, "Oui," and the door opened.
Remy wished he knew why Warren had come here. Was it coincidence or had Charles talked the winged man in to doing this?
Warren shuffled his feet, stalled and then headed for the chair. "Can I sit down?"
Remy nodded nervously.
"I can't believe I'm actually here," said Warren absentmindedly. "Bets isn't coming. She thinks this is stupid."
Remy was surprised to feel that Warren disagreed with his girlfriend. "And you don't think it's stupid?"
Warren shrugged. "I thought about it for a long time and I guess Scott and Charles are right. We can only make this work if we trust each other."
"You trust me?" Remy sounded stunned.
Warren still didn't meet the alien eyes. "I think so. I have my reasons why I don't like you, but you never let down the team in the past. You even watched my back in fights. I blamed you for the Massacre for a long time, but I'm not so sure anymore. The other thing I blamed you for were my wings, but Scott set me straight on that one some time ago. You didn't cost me my wings."
Remy held his breath, wondering where Warren was taking this.
"What I'm saying is that I'm willing to start all over again. I just hope you don't have more skeletons in your closet."
Remy flinched. Mon Dieu, what would happen if Warren ever found out about Nathan/Sinister? Should he tell Warren? Non. "What do you want from me?"
"I want us to try again... Well, I doubt we ever tried, but we should, for Bobby's sake."
Remy felt light-headed. "I didn't think you'd accept us being together like that."
"I'm surprising myself," muttered Warren absentmindedly. "Do you want to try? If not, the deal's off."
"I'll try," said Remy, quickly reassuring Warren. "I want to try." It would mean a lot to Bobby if he tried.
"I'm also supposed to give you something." Warren reached in to a pocket and uncovered a feather. "You can call it a peace offering."
"Is it one of yours?" Remy almost reverently accepted the feather.
"Yeah, lost it this morning..." Warren got to his feet, feeling tired and mentally exhausted.
"Warren?" Remy gingerly made eye contact. "Forgive me?"
Warren waited patiently.
"I'm sorry your wings got damaged. I'm sorry I never told the whole truth, but I already felt unwelcome and I was scared that there were no second chances." His heart beat in his throat and cold sweat formed all over his body. "I never wanted anyone to get hurt."
"I believe you," said Warren slowly. "I guess it's okay... You're not the only one who made mistakes. The professor reminded me of a few of my own."
"You forgive me?" Hearing the words was important to Remy, who had tensed up during their conversation.
"Yeah, you're forgiven... Now I need some time to think..." Warren headed for the door.
Remy nodded, cherishing the feather in his hands. He waited until Warren had left the room and then whispered, "I won't let them down, never again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Remy, are you okay?" Bobby hurried back to Remy's room when he heard that Warren had talked to Remy as well. Fearing the worst, he quickly joined Remy, who had stretched out on the couch.
"Bien," whispered Remy softly. "Look what Wings gave me." Although he had received several gifts today, he cherished the feather the most. "He forgave me."
Bobby understood. "And you feel better now?"
"Oui, way better..." Remy grinned. "Dinner ready yet? I'm hungry."
"Yeah, it's ready and Jean cooked, so it's gonna taste great." Bobby smiled, kissed Remy and caressed the Cajun's face. "I love you, Remy."
Remy suddenly choked up, realizing just how serious Bobby was. "Je t'aime, Bobby..."
Bobby grinned relieved. "Let's eat and then..."
"And then we can cuddle some more?"
"Maybe even do more than cuddle," hinted Bobby.
"I'd love that." Remy looked into his lover's brown eyes and realized this wasn't the end, this was a new beginning.
Epilogue
"Where are you going, Remy? It's the dead of night." Bobby popped himself up on his elbows to study his lover. Remy had slipped into jeans, a warm sweatshirt and was now putting on his boots. "Are you going outside? Want me to come with you?" Although Hank had proclaimed Remy fully recovered, Bobby couldn't help fussing over the Cajun. Remy deserved all the tender loving care he could get.
"Don't worry about it, cher. I just need some fresh air. Can't sleep and I wanted to go for a walk." Remy pleadingly met Bobby's eyes. If Bobby insisted, he would allow his lover to tag along, but he really wanted some private time to think and then there was this odd sensation tugging at his mind, urging him closer.
Bobby understood Remy's need to be alone. An awful lot had happened to Remy these last few days and the Cajun needed to sort out his thoughts, but that didn't mean he was happy sending Remy off alone. He would have preferred to accompany his lover. "Sure, Remy, go ahead. Don't take too long, love? Bed gets awfully cold without you to keep me warm."
Remy blushed slightly. At times it was hard to accept that Bobby and he were together. Things were so much different from the way they had been when Rogue and he had been a couple. "I'll be back soon," he promised.
Bobby gave him a wink, letting Remy know that everything was okay and closed his eyes again. He really was tired.
Remy sneaked out of the room, not wanting to disturb Bobby who was slowly falling asleep. Making sure nobody noticed him, he slipped on to the roof. He inhaled the fresh air deeply, loving the feeling of freedom that coursed though him. He couldn't resist temptation and went through some of his training sequences, making somersaults, unfolding his bo staff, running and eventually jumping off the roof. He landed on his feet and a smile surfaced on his face. "Still got that special touch..." Guild training had been thorough!
He walked over to a tree and sat down, leaning his back against it. There was a full moon tonight and the stars sparkled brightly; it was a beautiful night and briefly he regretted not taking Bobby with him. This would have been a romantic moment had Bobby been with him, in his arms to be exact.
"Remy?"
The voice completely surprised him and startled, he jumped to his feet. He spun around, opened his bo staff once more and charged it with kinetic energy. He gritted his teeth, finding Sinister in front of him. How was it possible that the security system hadn't kicked in yet? Scott had modified it, hoping it would pick up tesseracts, even outside of the mansion. "What do you want?" He kept his charged bo staff protectively in front of him.
Remy's heart contracted painfully when Sinister used his abilities to change his appearance. His former lover Nathan was now staring back at him and Remy had to remind himself that it was just Sinister playing him. "Get out of my life, Sinister."
Sinister sighed deeply. "I do not wish to fight. I came here to apologize."
Remy's eyes narrowed. "And you expect me to believe that?"
"I let you go, didn't I?" Sinister studied Remy closely. The Cajun seemed fully recovered and the sparkle was back in the red on black eyes. "You may not believe me, but I do love you."
Remy laughed bitterly. "You're right, I don't believe you. I still can't believe I ever fell for this charade. You probably had a great time playing me like that. The worst thing is that I really cared about you."
Sinister wanted to shake some sense in to Remy, but stayed where he was. He didn't dare approach Remy. The Cajun looked ready to explode at the slightest threats. "I'm sorry, Remy. I hurt you and that was never my intention. I wanted you back. I wanted to relive the time we had together. We were happy back then."
"You played me. You gave me what you thought I wanted." Remy pointed at Sinister's changed appearance. "I fell in love with Nathan, who was just a lie. You can't have me, because I never belonged to you." His empathy picked up on several confused emotions, which emanated from Sinister. His empathy must have wakened and strengthened them. "I loved Nathan, I never loved you and now I love Bobby."
Sinister nodded weakly. "I lost you... I handled this really badly." He finally understood his folly.
"I moved on, you should do the same," whispered Remy emotionally. Regret and a sense of intense lose radiated from Sinister. He hadn't thought it possible, but the scientist was speaking the truth; the confusion and regret was real. "I'm sorry too," he added in the end.
"I won't try to win your love again. I know when I'm beaten." He had watched Remy these last few days, had seen how happy the Cajun was with Bobby. "I won't come after you again. I'll leave you alone."
Remy had to admit that Sinister hadn't screwed with his mind since the scientist had returned him to the mansion. "I wish I could believe you."
"I'll prove it to you," promised Sinister. He took one step closer and felt encouraged when Remy didn't move away from him. "I also regret taking you against your will."
Remy paled. "I don't want to talk about that." It was something he managed to lock out most of the time. He knew he had to deal with it in time, but not yet. First he needed to build a stronger relationship with Bobby. Once he completely trusted Bobby, he could let himself fall, knowing Bobby would catch him.
"I'm still sorry. All I could think about was that you were in my bed again after all this time." Sinister shook his head. "I'll make things up to you."
"You can't," said Remy in a cold tone. "You crossed a line when you..." His voice trailed off. He had thought seeing Sinister as Nathan wouldn't hurt this much, but it did. He had shared good years with this man, only to find out he had been played. "I want you to leave me alone, me and Bobby. Don't come near him."
Sinister heard the very real threat in Remy's voice. "I'll respect your decision." Remy wouldn't believe him, no matter what he said or did. "I still hope you'll find it in your heart one day to forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you, just to love you and have you close again." Sinister hesitated momentarily. "I watched the others come in to talk to you and it seemed a good idea at the time."
Remy arched an eyebrow. It didn't surprise him that Sinister was watching him. "What do you want?" He decharged the bo staff, but kept it extended, just in case Sinister would attack after all.
"To give you this." Sinister uncovered a small package and handed it to Remy, who was reluctant to accept it.
"What is it?" He was very wary of Sinister bearing gifts. Remy hesitantly removed the box. His heart missed a beat. "Why?" He stared at the picture, several years old, sitting in a frame he had personally selected. It showed him happier times, when he had been living with Nathan. Both men were smiling, hugging, fooling around in front of the camera of a friend who had taken the picture at one of Remy's birthday's party which Nathan had thrown for him. Looking at it now gave him the creeps, but still... It still reminded him of the love he had felt for this man. "Why give me this?"
Sinister actually felt awkward. The others had given Remy something and he had thought it was a good idea. He had selected this picture for a reason, hoping Remy might remember the good times they had shared. "Would you keep it? You don't have to show it to anyone, but it would mean a lot to me if you kept it." This had been a bad idea. Remy would never forgive him. Absentmindedly, he changed back to his armor and started to walk away from the Cajun who looked lost in thought.
"Wait..." Remy privately cursed his empathy for letting him feel Sinister's emotions. True regret was seeping through, laced with a hint of love and melancholy. Sinister turned around and Remy forced himself to lock eyes with him. "What do you really want?"
Sinister had never felt this nervous in his life. "I hope that one day you can forgive me."
Forgiveness... Hank had wanted to be forgiven and he in turn had begged Warren to forgive him. Now Sinister wanted forgiveness as well. He had forgiven Hank and Warren had forgiven him, could he do any less for Sinister? They had all made mistakes, as Warren pointed out to him. "I don't know if I can do that yet," Remy whispered. "But I don't hate you... Maybe in time I can learn to forgive you."
Sinister nodded once. It was all he could hope for. "Thank you." He opened a tesseract and stepped inside.
Remy swallowed hard when Sinister disappeared in to the tesseract. Beneath the armor he had seen a glimpse of the man he had once loved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Argh! You're cold!" Bobby shivered when Remy spooned up behind him.
"Then warm me up, cher."
"Wicked Cajun!" Bobby grinned, dozing off once more.
Remy smiled, enfolded Bobby in his arms and whispered, "Je t'aime, Bobby..."
END