To a teacher who thought she’d heard everything...

Oh my Dear Ms. Farabee,

 How I know that you can see,
  my homework is not here with me,
   but I did do my task.
 I recall the answers through,
  like exercise eight was forty-two,
   and they’d be here to prove me true
    If all you’d do is ask.
 But as to have the paper, dear,
  Something happened, something queer,
   On my way to coming here
    That defies all excuses
 A man inside a big pink car
  Drove up to me from long afar
   And ask if I’d like to be a star
    of his sex abuses.
 I screamed and hit him with my pack
  As he drove in his Cadillac
   License plate read “IN D SAK”
    I then called the police
 Apparently this man was bad
  The officer called my mom and dad
   Who came and cried and made me sad
    But drove me here in peace
 They took my backpack to the lab
  So from its surface they might grab
   Some fragments of his skin to nab
    As the evidence piles grow.
 And so, my Dear Ms. Farabee
  If you still want homework from me,
   You’ll have to talk to Officer Gree
Sincerely,

Bobby Joe
 

© 2001 David I. Brager
 

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