Report written by Running RebeL in ISG forum on Mar 2005

Detail Report: First time to Hadyai without my notebook but 3 pcs of ink filled paper.

1st page – hotels, pubs, disco, restaurants info,
2nd pg – KTVs, massage parlor & Aquarium info,
3rd pg – a compilation of some simple Thai language (Which I found out later, I need none of the above).

Firstly, if u required hotels info, just go to any travel agencies in Hadyai. I settle most of my accommodation and out of town transport need thru’ Lovely Tours (remember to ask for ** Hadyai map from this fair Chinese girl call – ah ling), located right in the middle of Hadyai, as long as you are in d’ Hadyai town and if u don’t know how to get there, just hop on to any flatbed w/sitting cushion tuktuk for 10 Baht (day time), anything more than that would be a ripped-off, (after mid-night is double!)

Secondly, u can go to Hadyai without knowing any KTVs or massage parlor name at all ! Head back to the hotel, take a nice bath, change into shorts and t-shirts (with your university name on it Hahaha!), go down stair, go head hunting around 10:30am, make sure u get a “Motorcycle TukTuk” and see if he/she can speak some hokkien/english, As long as u both understand each other plus simple sign language, tell d’ “Motorcycle Tuk Tuk” go to SEE KIM YONG (tons of KTVs around that area). With immediate effect, D’ tuktuk will understand your basic motive, cycle u around and becoming your KTVs guide. With those breezes in your hair, a totally new & unknown territory, excitements start to arise and stimulate every single nerves & senses! When U start seeing KTVs and puyins sitting outside of d’ KTVs, damn it ! U knows u r right on d’ spot! Just tell tuk-tuk to wait at one corner and do not follow u, tell tuktuk u will pay him/her extra later. Also tell papasan/mamasan u came alone! Otherwise, it will affect your bidding price for puyin (They need commission to cover d’ tuktuk) (50Baht, that’s all I pay to motorbike tuktuk, with d’ distance that I was moving around, I thought I was paying an unfair rate, but she insist of giving me her handphone expecting me to “charter” her motorbike later and accepted the 50B, a small price to pay! I hope she is not expecting anything more than that, I ain’t giving her no rusty roller-coaster ride dude! Hiaks!) – *Hints, how to recognize those motorbike tuktuk, they all wear some kind of vest either in green or red color with numbers at the back and logos in front, if u r not too sure, just walk to them stare at them and they’ll be eager to greet you and start talking Thai to u.

First day with tuktuk biking me around See Kim Yong area was fun and exciting! KTV hoping rules; from a KTV to another KTV didn’t last me for more than 2 ~5 minutes.(I have gone thru’ like 10 or 12 KTVs less than 45 minutes) Make sure u get as many business cards as possible from the KTVs OKT (Oh Kui Taw – papasan / mamasan), if u kinda’ like the puyin, just get her name/price write on d’ business card, pretend a bit! (Make sure you don’t really bother with or without d’ gal and MAKE SURE u show it on your face). I remember this incident, a mamasan was showing me the puyins photo, so I saw this above average/7~8 puyin(On the photo) (She was out for customer inspection), those puyin who stood in front me are 1.5K/B, but when I point my finger at d’ photo, she worth a bull runs of 3K/B !!! From that day/incident onwards, I swear to UNITE all the die hard fans in Hadyai-WSG, don’t be a dick head or “Richard” in Hadyai, the chain reaction will end us all at the bottom of d’ foodchain. According to my puyin, their tactic is to sell high when they see desperado in your eyes! I know, I know d’ sperm load had gone over filled above your ears level and do u feel sticky around your cheeks? My conclusion, I still get model type at 1.5K/B (Will explain during my next chapter!). As long as u r desperate, u end-up with “Richard” & dick head ! Use d’ top head not bottom head while bargaining, it’s a tedious process to survive longer in Hadyai, I think Haha ! Most important, don’t spoil d’ future market. Meeting up with puyin in your hotel room will cost u more sometimes and if u r a explorer like me, go check out those KTVs by yourself, u get to meet up with more puyins and your angel puyin might be there waiting for you.

Learn some basic Thai it will help, I think! Till this date, I only know Thaïs like; chan rak ***, sawadee cup, pon rak koon(same meaning with chan rak ***), cow jai mai, mai cow jai, nin, song, ha, jet, pad, sip, yak meh*, gee baht, coke, finger pointing, nod head, shaking head and some other sexually enhanced or related body languages >;-P Well that’s about it! My puyin taught me most of d’ immediate usage Thai language but it just slip out of my mind right on the dote after using it. Tell your puyin to do most of d’ talking and pretend u r busy with something else either u r in d’ restaurant or shopping malls bargaining or ordering! As a matter of fact, I am now hearing a Thai CD while typing my reports for u all d’ Hadyai-Die-Hard-Fans out there, I don’t speak no Thai nor I understand Thai, but I am listening to Thai songs now, yes si-beh song! Sorry for being a wee bit too long winded here, I frequently asked my favorites puyin from Bangkok “Cow Jai Mai ?”(In Cantonese: wanna tackle guy / darling?), she will reply me “Mai cow jai” (In Cantonese: don’t wanna tackle guy / darling!), but after many bangcocks in last 2 days, especially when I am on d’ way to hadyai airport, do u think I give a damn whether it is a cow jai mai or mai cow jai? Nahhh!!!! I was too tired to think!

Result: Fun & Adventurous!