Don Cherry expected to explode
Guelph, ON – Don Cherry, well-known hockey personality and all-round goof, will most likely explode when Canada’s Men’s hockey team wins gold on Sunday, according to D.L. Kalauscja, Canada’s number one, best-selling author of the pamphlet Bumprints of The Gods: All that I Know for sure and then some.
Kalauscja professes, “The alignment of two hockey gold medals will cause Cherry’s epidermis to peel away thus leavink him in a state of flux from which the only logical conclusion is explosion. I heard of somethink similar on Howard Stern’s radio show so it just has to be the truth!”
Howard Stern, a radio personality known as America’s Shock Jock, was stunned, more than usual, to hear of Kalauscja’s claim.
“I have done and said and done, again, a lot of shit on my show but that broad is crazy! I had my show pulled from Toronto’s airwaves so that she would stop calling me and complaining about the gridlock on something called #7.”
Stan McDowall, Canada’s number one pedant and founder of the I Hate Don Cherry Fan Club, was overjoyed at the ‘news’.
“People would say that I have short circuited when in fact I have created an open circuit in the Mute button on three TV remotes because of that guy. I’ll be sure to tune in for that event. Jesus H. Christ, it better not be on TSN!”
Oddly enough, when contacted, Mr. Cherry was speechless. |
