Title: Highway Musings
Author: Latina
Rating: PG
Timeline: Late Summer 2001
Keywords: Susan Lewis
Last episode seen: Rampage
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans.
Summary: Just a brief exploration of one possible reason for Susan’s return.
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Highway Musings
You can't go home again. Yeah, I know that, but I want to go somewhere familiar. When I left four and a half years ago, it was the right thing to do. I needed to be near Suzi, to be sure she was safe. When she left with Chloe and Joe, my heart was ripped apart. Well, hearts heal, babies grow older and somehow the need to be near her lessened. I now know Joe and Chloe are her parents, good and loving parents. Chloe has never looked back. Suzi, Joe and the little one are the real center of her life. That position with the Yuma police department was too good to pass up and their new house in Yuma is great. I'm happy for them.
Why should I stay in Phoenix? Sure I had a job and friends there, but my reason for being there was gone. The only thing keeping me was inertia. I had to choose-stay where I was, tag along after my sister, or go home and get on with my own life. OK, Chicago it is. Where else can you get real pizza except Uno's? What other city dyes its river green for St. Patty's day? Besides the weather and landscape of the Southwest are wrong. I'm not saying they're not beautiful, but to a born and bred Midwesterner they are deep in the bone-wrong. Phoenix will always seem alien to me. The longer I was there the more the little differences began to bug me.
Home- Lake Michigan, looking at stuff I'm not going to buy at Crate and Barrel, wandering around the Art Institute or the Field Museum, Navy Pier, even Midwestern winters-ish! How could anyone be homesick for dirty old slush? Honestly, I was. When I sent out my Curriculum Vitae hunting for a job, I certainly didn't expect a positive response from Cook County General much less the offer of an attending's position. Kerry Weaver is chief of the Emergency Department there. I thought that woman regarded me as a major screw-up. Lord knows the two of us have had our differences although I will admit she was very pleasant when we conversed on the phone last week. She did sound a bit stressed out. Maybe she just picked me as a devil she knew rather going with a total stranger. Time will tell.
It will be strange to be back where I started. Intellectually, I know there will be major changes; but a part of me is going to expect everything to be the same. Carol and I kept in touch until she left to be with Doug so I do know about some of the changes. Jerry blowing up the ambulance. Carter getting stabbed and some med student dead. Mark in love with a British surgeon. The last time I heard from Carol was at Christmas. She said that Mark was going to have some experimental surgery for a brain tumor. It sounds pretty bad. Maybe that's one of the reasons I want to go home. Mark was my best friend and I loved him, but I was never in love with him anymore than he was in love with me. Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense; except that's just the way it was. I fell in love with Div, and I didn't even like him much but not with Mark. I'm glad he's found that British surgeon; I hope she loves him. I wonder if she and I will even like each other. I can't say I was very impressed with Jennifer. Again, only time will tell.
Well, in another two hours I will cross the Mississippi at St. Louis and head north on 55. One more overnight in either Springfield or Bloomington the location on how tired I am. Either way, before lunch tomorrow I will be home.
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