March 16, 2002 - April 07, 2002
A/N: Mmkkay I think I left you hanging enough last time don’t you think? I am REALLY sorry that that last chapter was SO short. I really am getting more accustomed to writing chapters that are no less than 3500 words. SERIOUSLY! Go read To Defy Destiny. As well as some of my other non digimon work. I actually had a chapter that was over 12,000 words. O_o obsessive? I think so...oh yeah THIS fic. Well...lets see.....Mmmm more angst, make that WAY more angst. Oh yeah and in case you are wondering I plan on making this into a lemon in the future. So if you don’t like Lemons stop now cause what’s a story without the steamy ending? Mmm this chapter might kinda suck cause I don’t really know how to slide the story over to where I want it to go. So this might be rough.
DISCLAIMER: This will be the LAST time you see this damn thing. I will no longer be posting this sucker that just takes up room on my nice long fic. SO FOR THE LAST TIME TOEI OWN ALL RIGHTS TO DIGIMON AND DIGIMON RELATED PRODUCTS!!!!! Saban just sucks ass so there!
Key:
Price of Love
~Tai~
‘Yamato.’ That name just played over and over in my mind. Why I couldn’t shake it out of my head was understandable. My life had been radically altered because of it. As well as who the name belonged to. So much had happened in such a short time..... ‘why’
I felt heavy. I could barely get my body to move just to breathe. How I had made it to Matt’s apartment building last night was beyond me. Did my subconscious know what was best for me?
I doubt that. If it did then I would have never left my room. In fact I would never see the light of day ever again if it really knew what was good for me.
‘All my fault’
It was. If I had just waited till I was sure about what I was about to do. If only I could just redo that one single act. He would still be alive. I wouldn’t be here lying in my bed slowly trying to melt into nothingness.
*knock knock*
“Taichi? Dear, why don’t you come out and eat? You’ve been in your room ever since you came back. Tai.......will you please tell me where you went? Tai? Tai, please answer me.”
‘I’m sorry mom. It’s all my fault that you’re alone now too. All this pain I’ve caused us all. Please forgive me. I was selfish and didn’t think how it would effect us all.’ I heard her move away from the door. I wanted to call her back and tell her that I loved her and that I was sorry. I wanted to tell her why our lives had turned out this way. I didn’t want her to hate me though. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing another parent. I was being selfish again. ‘Where is my courage now?’
~Matt~
‘Taichi’ I couldn’t get his name out of my head. That sad pathetic looking boy that had come to my house last night was not the Tai I knew. My train of thought was interrupted when I noticed Sora staring at me. “What?”
She just looked at me with that ‘Don’t ‘what’ me mister!’ look.
I shrugged my shoulders. “What did I do?”
“Nothing. That’s the problem. I’ve been talking to myself for the past hour.” She glared at me. “What are you thinking about?”
I shrugged my shoulder again.
*poke* “Spill it Ishida. I’ve seen Tai and you wrestle before. I know all you’re ticklish spots.” She ran her finger just below my ribs on my right side. My whole body flinched and prepared to contract in on itself in defense of an upcoming onslaught.
“Point taken.” I stopped walking as a realization hit me. The only reason Sora knew about that is because she has seen me and Tai wrestle. In fact the only person that knows all my little quirks is Tai. We usually end up rolling around on the floor in hysterics because one of us had the brilliant idea to see which one could make the other laugh harder. I had never had a moment like that with Sora. We’d been dating for months now and that is probably the first time she had ever touched one of my ‘spots’.
Tai knew me that well that he could make me laugh till I cried just by poking me once. I owed it to him to find out what was wrong. I couldn’t just let him stay in the state he was in. I wanted the fun loving-tickle-me-till-I-practically-peed-Tai back.
“Sora.”
“Mmmm?”
“I was wondering, you have any idea what is wrong with Tai?”
“Other than the fact that his dad just died?”
“Well yeah....”
“Matt, Tai’s dad just died not too long ago. He’s probably still adjusting to the fact that he won’t be coming home anymore. He just needs time. Come on let’s go and eat at that pizza place down the road here.” She tugged at my arm in the direction of said restaurant.
“Mmm I guess you’re right.” However I didn’t really feel any comfort from her logic. I just knew something else was bothering Tai. I was going to find out. I made a mental note to stop by at Tai’s to see him.
~Tai~
I let my head slide sideways to stare across the room at the chair. The clothes I had barrowed from Matt were folded up and draped over the back. It had took all my will power to pry them off of my body. I had just wanted to curl up and take comfort in them. As if Matt were here holding me and telling me that everything would be ok. He was the only one that cared. We fought a lot, but that was just over petty things. We knew each other better than we liked to admit. At times it was as if we could read each others minds.
I laughed. It would seem almost scary to the outside observer just how in tune he and Matt were. If one didn’t know better, one would say that they were separated at birth.
‘Separated.’
That’s how I feel. Separated, as if a part of me is missing. Not just due to my dad being gone. I feel like I have lost part of my soul. I don’t feel complete. I makes me weak and I hate it. I hate feeling weak. Helpless. That’s all I’ve done this past week is lay here and act helpless. I felt tears began to form in my eyes. They seemed like a natural thing to occur these days. I had cried so much already. I didn’t know how much more I could cry.
I guess no one will ever know what had happened to cause my father to crash his car. No one will know because I won’t tell. I’ll just sit here and waste away. The world can do without my sorrow. Without me to cause more pain.
*knock Knock*
Why wouldn’t they just leave me be? They were better off without me. Couldn’t they see that. I made dad go away. He would never come back ever. I deserved to be left to rot away into nothing.
“Tai? Tai are you awake?” Hikari’s voice came through the door. “Tai can I come in?” I didn’t answer her. Maybe she would go away like mom. No such luck. I heard the door click and slowly swing open. She peeked in at me. I could see the pain in her eyes. I could only imagine what it was like for her to see her strong and energetic older brother in such a state. Huddled in a fetal position under the sheets. Not letting any cheerfulness of life touch me. Not even allowing the sun to enter our room. “Tai I know you’re awake.” She took a few hesitant steps into the room. It must be an odd feeling to feel like an intruder in your own room. “Tai, please get out of bed. You did it before. It would be nice if you told us where you went by the way. I’d like to know what could get you out of bed when we couldn’t.” No response. If I ignored her enough she just might go away. “Will you at least eat? Please, Tai. If I brought you a plate in here would you eat it?” I could hear the desperation in her voice. She was running out of ideas. If I didn’t acknowledge her now she would most likely give up on me.
I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t force her to endure the loss of another family member. I looked at her. Truly looked at her and focused in on her. She saw this and her face brightened so much that I nearly started to cry again. To think that I had distanced myself from them so much that just a simple thing as looking at them was considered an improvement. I nodded my head.
“Ok! I’ll go get a plate and bring it right quick!” She smiled and ran out the door. I could hear her conversing with mom. I heard my mother take in a breath of relief. I then heard them start to put food on a plate. Kari then walked back into the room balancing a plate of food. Make that a plate piled high with a small mountain of food. I actually smiled. They knew of my insatiable appetite. She set the plate down on the night stand next to the bed and sat down in the computer chair. I smirked. Didn’t want depressed Taichi to throw the food out the window? I wasn’t offended at all. In fact I was filled with a warmth I hadn’t felt in a while, except for last night. They really cared too. They didn’t want me to just waste away. I guess since they were willing to put up with my little ‘mood’ I could at least put on a good show and eat.
~
I gave the now empty plate to Kari and rubbed my poor abdomen. Hadn’t eaten like that in a week. I must have sent my stomach into shock. Kari came back in.
“So? How do you feel?”
I thought for a minute. “How does one feel when they feel like they have been stuffed to the point where they feel like if they sneezed they’ll pop?”
“Well........Like THIS!” She then poked me in the stomach rather forcefully.
“UUUHHHHHHH! Unless you want to see the food I just ate again, I suggest you not do that anytime soon.” I then focused on trying not to explode.
“Well then YOU don’t scare us like that again!” I felt my eyes go wide as she stood up and threw herself at me. I felt my aching sides stretch.
“UGH! Too...heavy! GoiNG TO Burst!” She giggled.
“You had better not! I don’t want to lose my Oniichan.” She hugged me protectively. I stroked her hair.
“Sorry Kari. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She sniffed and I could tell she was trying not to cry and start to blubber like a baby.
“I know you’re going through a tough time Tai. We all are. You’re not alone in this. Please don’t shut us out. We want to help you, we’re still a family. We’re here for each other. Like it or not you’re stuck with us.” She smiled up at me with pink tinged eyes. I had to commend her for her bravery. I guess I found out where my courage went. I felt sleep pull at me. I full stomach and emotional turmoil tend to take it out of you. I couldn’t suppress a yawn. Kari looked up at me again. “Is my company THAT boring?”
I smiled down at her. “No, I’ve just got some things on my mind. And you know what a full stomach does to me.” She smiled and nodded. She stood up and walked out the door. Closing it gently behind her as she left.
I settle down under the blankets and began to drift off into what I knew would be a troubled sleep.
~Narrator~ {Hey That’s me!!!! ^_^}
Kari let the door slowly swing shut and heard the click. She stepped away and stood looking at the door sadly. ‘I’m happy that you feel a little better Tai. however I know that it’s going to take much more that what I or mom can do for you to get you back to yourself.’ She turned and went to sit in the loving room area. She looked around for some inspiration. Her eyes fell on the picture of all the digidestined. She smiled remembering a happier time. Then inspiration struck. She smiled ruefully and picked up the phone. If anyone could get Tai to come back from the little world of self-pity he had created it was one of the fellow digidestined. She dialed and waited for an answer.
~Matt~
I stood in the middle of my room looking around. I didn’t really know why I had come in my room. I was just in here. After eating at the restaurant I had walked Sora home and came back home myself. I scanned the room thinking about what I could possibly have come in here for. Then I spotted Tai’s clothes laid out on the chair. I walked over and picked them up. I had spread them over the chair last night so they would dry. They were now dried. I remembered I had planned on going over to visit Tai.
I picked his clothes up and folded them. I had a odd tendency to tidy things up. Maybe I was OCD {Obsessive Compulsive Disorder}? I shrugged. Didn’t really need to figure that out at the moment. I walked into the kitchen and took out some meat that I could cook later when dad got home. Well I should be home in time to cook for dad, assuming he came home at all that is. His job ruled his life, he should change his address to the TV station. He was there more than he was here. I shrugged again. It was his job, the thing that paid for this apartment, the place I lived.
Walking back into the living room I decided that I needed to distract myself with something. What better than the ever present TV. Ah yes, the almighty video God. Let us all sit and bask in the warm glow of the mind numbing sitcom that happens to be lucky enough to be on right now. Some race car show was on, well make that anime. Racing down a mountain road in the middle of the night at high speeds. Gee sounds like fun. Although it had good music to it. Really fast and up beat. I sighed. Seems like the kind of anime Tai would really be into, I would be too if I didn’t know Tai was not himself. Maybe I could he would cheer up if he were to watch something like this. Wonder if it was a series or a movie. My mind was starting to wonder and I could feel the gentle lull of sleep pulling at me. A little nap could hurt. Sliding over on my side I began to close my eyes.
*RING RING*
I popped up. looking around for the cause of the disturbance. the phone. If it wasn’t one thing it was another. Was there some sort of ‘Wake up Yamato whenever he has a chance to sleep’ contest going on that I wasn’t aware of? I grabbed the phone and looked at the caller ID. Yagami. Could Tai be calling me? Maybe he would finally tell me what was with him.
“Hello.”
“Matt?”
“Kari?” I felt a little disappointed that it wasn’t Tai. Well at least someone from the Yagami household had called. This could lead to something. “What’s up?”
“Well.....I’m not sure if you know or not, but Tai has been really down lately. I was wondering if you could maybe come over and see if you could pry him out of his room?”
“Pry him out of his room? He was just.....” I trailed off in mid sentence. Tai must not have told them that he came over to see me. Why? Well if he didn’t want them to know then I should say anything. “Sure I’ll come over. I’ll get him out of his room if I have to drag him out kicking and screaming.” I meant it as a joke, but it dawned on me that I might just have to resort to Tai’s methods of persuasion to get what I wanted. I smiled. Tai always thought with his heart first and his head last. He always meant well......he just had some interesting results in the past. I vividly remember most of them, seeing as how I was the one that was subject to most of his conquests.
“You Will? REALLY?! Thanks Matt! I know Tai will be happy to see you. You can come over whenever you have time.”
“I’ll be there in about 15 minutes.” I heard Kari take in a deep breath of excitement. I guess Tai was worse off then what I had thought.
“OK Matt, I’ll see you then. Bye.” She hung up.
Putting the phone back I walked back into my room and picked up Tai’s clothes and tucked them into a little overnight bag. I left a not telling dad that I would be at the Yagami’s for an indefinite time.
I was surprised to find the subway practically empty. Usually it was FILLED with people waiting to get to another part of the city to carry out their weekend plans. Was there some really good show on TV today that I wasn’t aware of? Maybe that racing anime was more popular than I thought. I sat down on a empty bench and waited for the next train to come and take me to Tai’s section of town. I could have walked there but it was just easier this way.
Sitting there in the nearly empty tunnel I had some time to think. My mind wandered onto thoughts of Tai. Naturally, I WAS going over to his place to try and see what his hidden problem was. So I wasn’t surprised that I was thinking about him. I was surprised when I started to feel almost giddy that I was going to see Tai. I just got this little warm bubbly feeling it turned into happiness rather quickly. I had no idea why. I don’t think I ever felt this way about anything in my life before. It was actually starting to worry me. Why would just going to visit Tai make me so content? I had been out with Sora most of the day and I could only let myself feel slightly annoyed that I was interrupted from reaching Tai.
The more I thought about it the more I realized that the only time I was in a good mood was when I was with Tai. I never let it show though. Wherever this sudden epiphany had come from I hadn’t a clue. In any case I felt that I owed it to Tai to help him get back to himself. I mean what happens when the only person who could make you even remotely happy was shutting himself off from the world? I really didn’t want to find out. I hurried onto the train as it stopped and the doors opened. ‘Don’t worry Tai. I’ll find a way to help you. I swear it.’
~Tai~
Even after waking up from a long nap after eating still tires you out when you are mentally unstable. Funny, people have been speculating that I was unstable most of my life, now it was a sad reality.
I sighed. ANOTHER thing to add to the list of sorrows I was rapidly accumulating recently. I don’t know how I could be so depressed. I had faced extremely powerful evils in the digital world before. Why couldn’t I take this in stride? Why couldn’t I handle this like I was able to face all those other evils? I knew the answer. I hated to admit it. None of those were my fault. I was just sent in to fix them, or rather help fix them. I had caused this grief. So I guess that is why I couldn’t face up to it.
I wish Agumon was here. Then I could have someone to hug for comfort. He was the only one who unconditionally accepted me. Even if he didn’t really understand the situation, he was always on my side. I know it seems petty to just want someone hear to tell me that I’m good and that I could do no wrong. It’s not that I wanted that, it’s just that I wanted someone to just believe in me once again. Maybe it was just because I know that if Agumon was here I would be safe. If he was with me no one could hurt me ever.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin and over my head somewhat. Funny how big brave Tai just wanted to be held and comforted now. I really was turning into some pitiful retched thing that I didn’t even want to think about.
I heard the faint knock on the front door. Probably TK coming over with Daisuke to see Kari. There was some faint muffled conversation that I really didn’t pay attention to. However there was only one voice that talked to Kari. It wasn’t TK’s that much I could tell. I puzzled over who it could be. I didn’t get long before the door slowly slid open and Kari poked her head in. She was probably coming to tell me she as going out.
“Tai you awake?” I just blinked at her. “OK good. Well Someone’s come to see you. She opened the door further to reveal a tall figure standing beside her in the doorway. I looked up and was filled with happiness and anxiety at the same time.
“Matt....” I couldn’t say anything else. I was totally stunned. I didn’t think he would actually come here to get my secret. I wanted to tell him, but I also feared what his reaction would be. Would he think he was at fault? Would he blame me for everything?
“Hey Tai. How you feeling?” He took a couple of steps into the room. Kari looked from him back to me. I don’t know what exactly she saw, but she made a choice.
“Well I’m off to Yolei’s for the night. I’ll see you guys later. I’ll be back tomorrow Tai.” She turned and walked out the door.
And then there was silence.
He stood there just looking at me. I, having nothing else to really look at seeing as how I was familiar with nearly everything else in the room, stared back at him. I’m not exactly sure how long we stayed like that. I really wasn’t really wishing for him to talk. I knew the first things out of his mouth would be a question. Asking me to explain myself. Explaining the situation wasn’t on my ‘to do’ list in the near future.
Matt suddenly flinched as if someone had pinched him. He looked down at his hands and seemed to remember that he was holding something. For that matter I realized he was holding onto something. I soon recognized it to be the clothes I had accidentally left at his apartment last night. His gaze slid over to the chair where his clothes were neatly resting. He gave a small little smirk and walked over and placed the clothes in his hands on the chair. Even with his back to me I could tell he was nervous, but why? Was he afraid that I would run if he asked me the question that I knew he wanted to ask. I wasn’t going to volunteer anything so he would have to ask if he wanted to know.
Matt turned around to address me. “So Tai, how’re you doin?” He shifted his weight slightly from foot to foot. Like he was nervous. What would he have to be nervous about?
“Ok, I guess.” I found myself saying. Well it was a bad answer, nor was it a good answer. At least it would keep him at bay while I figure out what I would tell him. That seemed to put him at ease, somewhat. Well I guess I have to face my fears. I sat up.
~Matt~
Tai sat up. I got ready for anything. I wasn’t sure exactly what kind of emotional state he was in. Would he run? fight? Cry? Those I was relatively prepared to handle. What he did though, surprised me.
Tai got out of bed and walked out of the room, I followed naturally. He went to the couch and sat down turning the TV on. I just watched him. He flicked through the stations until he came to the channel with the racing anime on it that I had watched earlier.
“OH COOL! Initial D is on.” He said happily and focused on the show.
‘So I was right.’ I walked over and sat next to him. I watched the show for a couple of minutes. It really was riveting, however I couldn’t totally get into it. I still had to settle some things with Tai. Some of which weren’t all just about him necessarily.
“So, Tai........ You feeling any better?” He nodded his head absently. Not exactly the kind of response I was going for, but at least he responded. “Ummm Tai? You want to fill me in on why you came to see me in the middle of the night?” I didn’t want to be that blunt, but with Tai, sometime you just had to go straight to the point. You know like the old saying ‘kick ass first, ask questions later.’ Or was it the other way around?
Tai pretended he didn’t hear me. Well, I guess I just had to literally kick ass then. I grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him to me. “Don’t evade the question.” Tai kept looking at the TV. I shook him. “Tai c’mon. Please tell me. I’m supposed to be your friend aren’t I? I’m supposed to help you when you need it. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong!” He looked down now.
“You...... You wouldn’t understand. There’s not way you would.” His hair fell into his face making it hard for me to read his expression. His shoulder started to shake. He was trembling. Had I scared him?
“Tai, look at me.” He didn’t. I took my right hand and touched the side of his face. “Tai, please.” I gently nudged his face upwards so I could see his face. He had tear streaks on his cheeks. I wasn’t really surprised, something was really upsetting him. I had to find out. “Tai, tell me what it is.”
His face clenched in pain and new tears fell from his eyes. “I KILLED MY DAD!” he shrieked at me. He pulled away from me and ran into his room. I heard the door slam shut with enough force that it rocked in the frame as it made contact.
I just sat there stunned. I hadn’t expected that at all. He must have been joking right? I mean Tai wouldn’t have killed his dad. He just couldn’t. Tai loved his dad, there was no way he couldn't have done anything to him. I sat there for a couple of minutes just trying to let what Tai had said sink in.
Walking over to his door I tried to figure out what I was going to say to him. What could I say? I mean just what do you tell someone who just said that they killed their parent? It’s not your fault? I had no idea, I mean I didn’t even know if it were true or not. He may just feel that it is his fault.
I knocked on the door lightly, no reply. Really didn’t expect one. “Tai. Tai, look I’m sorry, but I just know this isn’t your fault. Please don’t do this.” I prayed he would respond to me. I put my ear to the door to see if he hadn’t done something stupid like climb out the window. I heard Tai’s faint sniffling. I heard him sob something barely audible.
“But it is my fault.” His quiet whimpers continued after that.
I sighed. I came here trying to get through to Tai. Instead I had just built more barriers between us. Actual REAL barriers. I could just kicked the damn door in. Wasn’t one of those thick door that separated your apartment from the outside world, just one of those cheap just to have a door kind of doors. I decided against that. It would only make Tai even more mad at me than he already was. I felt slightly crushed. The fact that I had caused Tai to run from me. I don’t really know why but I started to feel slightly panicky. I had to get to him and make sure that he was ok.
Reaching into my back pocket I pulled out my little homemade-make-shift lock picking kit. I picked the skill up soon after my first performance. Having a closet to hide into when you are being chased by a pack of rabid fangirls is a God send. Unfortunately not all the doors usually are unlocked, so I unlock them myself.
It would seem fate wasn’t exactly with me this day. Tai’s door was one of the old fashioned kinds that used a skeleton key to open it with. Well I guess I would just have to use the old Ishida cunning. I took one of the stronger picks and started to pry the bold itself back. It was a slow process but I managed to pull it off, albeit four good picks later. Gently I started to push the door open.
*RING RING*{Yes I know Tai doesn’t have an old model that actually RINGS, so just input the electronic buzzer noise that newer phones make ok? GOOD!}
I jumped a little at the sound of the phone. I hadn’t even nudged the door open 1 centimeter yet {Half inch}. I stood up to see at least who was calling at this hour. I checked the caller ID. Didn’t know that number, probably one of Tai’s relatives. The answering machine kicked in.
“Tai, honey? Sweetie I’m really sorry to do this to you, but some legal stuff has come up and I can’t get back home tonight. I have to stay here in Shinjuku. I’ll be back tomorrow ok? Just tell Kari to stay home with you if you want. Use some money from the jar to get dinner. DO NOT TRY AND COOK YOURSELF! I love you baby! BYE!” *CLICK*
Well looks like Tai would be alone tonight. I blinked. Oh yeah TAI! I nudged the door open and silently crept in. The last bits on the fading sunlight danced across his form. He looked so fragile with his back to me huddled on his bed. I walked over and knelt down by his side. “Tai.” I gently nudged him.
He stirred a little but didn’t look at me. I knew he was awake. “It was my fault Matt. I got into an argument with him and he got really mad and left. That’s why he was out driving in the car. That’ why he’s......” He trailed off.
“shhhhh. Tai it wasn’t your fault. You can’t control your dad on how he drives. Sometime bad things just happen. It’s a part of life. You can’t blame yourself for this. People argue all the time”
“But if I hadn’t started the fight he wouldn’t have been out driving. He’d still be alive.” He was getting excited again. I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around him. I was expecting him to fight me but he didn’t. In fact he hugged me back. We just sat there on the floor holding each other. I felt needed. Someone needed me to care for them, and I was actually wanting to do this. I couldn’t believe how totally wanted I felt. Tai was bringing out something in me that I didn’t even know I was capable of. I hugged him tighter.
“Tai, It’s ok. It’s not your fault.” I felt him start to shake in my arms. He started to cry. “Go ahead, let it out Tai. It’s ok to cry.” He started to full on cry. I rubbed his back understandingly.
\\--------------------//
It was a little while before Tai cried himself out. He leaned into me just sniffling every now and then. I looked down at him. He meekly looked back up at me. Embarrassment was clearly written on his face. However I didn’t see it as that. I felt closer to him then I had ever been before. “Feel better?” He nodded. “Good. C’mon.” I started to get up and helped him to his feet. His hand lingered in mine a littler longer than was necessary. I don’t know why but I felt kind of disappointed when he did pull his hand away. “Ummmm.....Oh yeah. Your mom can’t make it back tonight.” He looked at me confused. “She left a message. It’s on the machine.” He nodded.
After hearing the message played back to him, Tai was considering his options. “I don’t really want to make Kari come back here. She was looking forward to getting out of the house this weekend so much. I guess I’ll just have the place to myself.”
“Mmmmrrrrooooowwww?”
We looked down. Tai’s cat was sitting there looking at him somewhat insulted.
“Well of course I can’t forget about you can I?” He bent down and picked Miko up. The cat looked a little pleased and purred as Tai petted it. He looked up at me. “So...... you hungry?”
My stomach chose that time to nearly jump out of my body and hug Tai. It let out a roar of need at the mention of food
Tai looked down at my abdomen. “Guess so.”
I don’t know why, I had just eaten with Sora roughly an hour ago. Then it occurred to me that I hadn’t really eaten much while I was there. The only thing I had really eaten was the little appetizer salad that had come with the meal. So I guess in retrospect I would need some more food right about now.
“So what would you like?” He asked me as he picked up the phone and walked over to the kitchen area and rifled through a jar for some large bills. “We’ve got enough to keep us fed for nearly a week.” He started to count out the large denominations.
I shrugged. “Whatever you want is fine with me.” I looked at him from cross the counter. His eyes had cleared up and he seemed to start to project that genki aura of his that he always had about him. Even when he slept he just had this presence that shouted ‘wild child’ about him. I smiled as Tai’s eyes lit up at all the possibilities he could do with the money he had in his hands
“Well let’s go the ever trustworthy route of ordering Pizza.” I almost objected but rethought it when I again remembered that I hadn’t actually eaten any of the pizza at the place I went to earlier.
“Sounds good to me.” My stomach chose that time to voice it’s opinion as well.
Tai looked at me again. “Well I guess it’s settled then. Three votes for pizza. My stomach growled again as if in agreement. Tai laughed. I just grinned embarrassed beyond belief.
He held the phone up and dialed. He looked a little puzzled for a moment. “What do you want on it?” I just kinda floundered. It really didn’t matter, or did it.
“Well just don’t let them put meat on it cause they always make it more greasy that way.” I made a little face of disgust. Tai nodded and looked kinda down as the people on the other end answered.
“Hi, yeah I need an extra large pizza with......” He turned around so I couldn’t see his face. “With.....mushrooms and......pineapples.” I was a little taken aback. It was a weird combination. I wasn’t exactly against it. I liked mushrooms, pineapples were good too. Well I’ll find out if it is a good combination soon enough. He turned back around with a little smirk on his face. “It’ll be here in about 20 minutes.”
“20? That’s pretty fast.”
“They’re down the block.”
“Oh.” He walked out of the kitchen and placed the phone back in it’s place. The TV was still on. Instead of the race car anime, Initial D I think Tai had said, there was some other show on. Some guy that lived with a bunch of girls and getting his ass kicked every other minute was on. Looked something like Tenchi Muyo, but different, the basic concept was still there.
Tai let out a little giggle. “Poor guy. Well I guess I shouldn’t be surprised it IS Love Hina after all.” I looked at him puzzled. I really didn’t have time to sit down and catch up on any of the latest anime. The band took up most of my free time. Practice didn’t always go as planned, everyone had their own opinion on how things should go in a song. Sitting down next to him on the couch I decided to tune in. Once you got the base story of the show, it was actually pretty funny.
The pizza came and Tai paid the nice delivery guy who seemed a tad to friendly if you asked me. Although it was really none of my business, I just couldn’t help but let a slight bit of subtle anger flare up that someone was flirting with Tai.
OK now I was worried. I just let myself get mad that someone was flirting with Tai. What was wrong with me? My thoughts were interrupted as Tai came back bearing food. He set it down in front of me and went to go some napkins from the kitchen. I immediately tore the box open and snatched a piece and began to wolf it down.
Tai came over and stopped when he saw me. His eyes were wide in surprise. “And people say I eat like an animal. They should see you.” He put the napkins down on the table and sat down and took a slice himself.
“Shuff upf! I hafen’t eaten phat muff today.” I said around a mouth full of cheese. I swallowed. “Besides why did you think that my digimon was a wolf anyways?“ I stuffed another piece in my mouth. It then occurred to me that I hadn’t stopped to see how the little combination Tai had ordered tasted. I slowed down and let my tongue actually taste the food. The cheese and mushrooms were the usual blandish salty combination that they usually are together. Every time I bit a pineapple a little blast of sweet juice was released that added to the flavor. It was actually quite good. {do NOT Knock it till you tried it! >_<}
I vaguely noticed that Tai was just nibbling on his food slowly eating his first piece. I, on the other hand, had already eaten half the pizza by myself and was no where near stopping. After I had devoured a total of 3/4 of the pizza I finally sat back and let the food settle some. I think I had over did it a little.
“You sure Gabumon wasn't a pig in disguise?” Tai asked as he saw me lay back in food overload.
“Hmp. I think Patamon fills the description more than anything.” I prayed that he hadn’t heard me somehow. All I needed was a pissed off Angemon flying out of the computer and kicking my ass.
Tai shook his head. “That was so funny I forgot to laugh.” He said rather flatly.
I narrowed my eyes. “Oh really? We’ll see if I can make you laugh.” I slowly started to move towards him.
Tai’s eyes widened in light worry. “What are you going to do? Don’t you dare do what I think you are about to do. Matt! Matt?! Yamato Ishida if you even try I’ll......”
*POUNCE*
“AAAAHHHHH MATT STOP IT!” He pleaded as I started to tickle him relentlessly. “Aright! You asked for it!” He declared before jumping up and throwing himself at me. His hands instantly started to attack all the well known areas. We hit the floor and started to roll. My stomach making silent protests to me to stop or it wouldn’t be responsible for what happened later. I, of course, ignored it. We rolled some more and Tai managed to get me on my back. He straddled my waist and jabbed me in the abdomen. “Alright you! Say it!” I shook my head between howls of laughter. “SAY IT!” He grabbed my sides and started to rub them ruthlessly.
“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! I GIVE I GIVE!” I shouted. Tai shook his head and continued his onslaught. I knew what he wanted to hear but I didn’t want to say it. “OK OK! YOU RULE! YOU RULE!” I finally shouted as I was slowly losing the ability to breathe.
Tai sat back with a look of triumph. He raised his hands above his head. “THAT’S RIGHT! I RULE! You had better not forget it!” I arched an eyebrow.
“Is that so?” I quickly grabbed his hips and flipped us over. Tai yelped in surprise. he landed with his arms still stretched above his head. I pinned both his wrists together with my right hand as I started to attack his abdomen with my left. He started to squirm. He couldn’t get his muscles to work together to free his arms. “SO?! WHO RULES NOW?!” He shook his head. I leaned further down. “C’mon Tai you know you can’t hold out forever.” He turned his head to the side.
“N...NEVER?!” He tried to squirm some more. Causing his shirt to slide up, exposing his tan skin so that I could directly reek havoc on his flesh. His hips raised up against mine. I was surprised a little but continued my attack. our hips came into contact again and began to rub up against each other. My attack soon began to change from tickling him to rubbing his firm stomach area. He looked at me. We were so close, our faces just centimeters apart. My hair fell over my shoulder and brushed against to right side of his face. We moved closer still, I had no idea what was happening, I just knew that I couldn’t stop it, nor did I want to. Closer still, his breath was warm as it gently flowed upwards across my skin. Even closer still. I could hear Tai take in a breath and swallow. Closer still......
*MMMMRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWW*
Something jumped on my back. I jumped back in surprised and reached for it. Whatever it was had jumped off and was now on the floor next to Tai glaring at me. I looked down at Miko. Tai sat up and picked the cat up.
“HA! You didn’t count on my secret weapon did you? I rule and you know I do! C’mon Miko you deserve a special can of tuna.” The cat purred approving of the prize.
'Yeah, good job Miko..... Just what exactly had the cat interrupted?’ I didn’t really know. I mean I had an idea, but I wasn’t exactly sure if that was what was going to happen. I felt so conflicted. I had just gone with what the situation had called for. I shook my head trying to clear the haze that was suddenly forming.
Tai opened the can in the kitchen and poured it into Miko’s bowl and the cat began to attack the food like there was no tomorrow. Tai looked down at her {Is that cat a girl or a boy? I can never remember.......^_^”} “Hmmm reminds me of someone.....” He gave me a look. I just smirked in return.
I glanced at my watch. “It’s getting late. I better start to get home if I’m to have dad’s dinner ready.” I walked over to the door but stopped. “Tai, you going to be ok alone?” I looked back at him.
He looked up at me. “I won’t be alone, I have Miko remember?” He knelt down and petted said cat. She growled at him for disturbing her from her prize.
“Tai that’s not what I meant. Do you want me to stay with you?” As soon as I said them I knew I sounded a little too forward. I was hoping he would say yes. I didn’t want to leave, especially after what had just happened. I needed to know what was going on between us.
Tai walked over to the table and picked up the pizza box and took out the couple of slices that were left. He placed them in a Ziploc bag and put them in the fridge. “You can stay....if you want to.” He told me quietly.
I nodded. “I can use the clothes that are in your room to sleep in. I’ll call my dad and leave him some tips on how to cook.
Several Phone messages later, I felt I had left my father sufficient instructions to properly cook a meal without burning the apartment building down, or giving himself food poisoning. I turned back around to regard Tai. He was giving me this look. “What?”
“Does you dad even know how to do half the stuff you just told him to?”
I shrugged. ‘I hope so. If not the pizza place will be getting some more business tonight.” He smiled. I felt a little warm. “So, I better go get ready for bed.” Tai nodded his head in agreement. I walked into his bedroom and started to undress {STOP DROOLING >_
“Ummm I just didn’t think you would just start to take of your clothes in here..... Eh here’s your clothes.” He handed them to me and quickly grabbed some of his own and left the room. I was left standing there puzzled. We had seen each other naked before, although that was three years ago. I felt my face get hot at how different Tai would be after those three years. ‘GOD! What is happening to me?’ I finished changing and Tai came back also changed.
He had on a pair of boxers and just a old T-shirt. I had on my pajama pants and button up shirt. “So....” He began. I looked at him questioningly. “You want the top or bottom?” My mouth hung open. He gave me a look. “Matt do want the top bunk or the bottom punk?” My mind snapped into focus, or rather focused on the subject at hand. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?
I looked at the top bunk. “I don’t think I would be very comfortable up there, it’s kinda small isn’t it?” Tai looked up and nodded.
“I guess it is.”
“I’ll just sleep out on the couch.” I turned to leave for the loving room.
“I don’t know if we have any extra clean blankets. I’ll go check.” He went for the door and we both ended up slamming into each other. I grabbed him so he wouldn’t fall. Instead he ended up being pulled against me. I froze, so did he. “Matt......” I let go.
“Sorry about that.” I felt myself blush, Tai wasn't looking at me so he didn’t see.
“It’s ok. I don’t think we have any anyways. It’ll get kinda cold out there on the couch. If you don’t mind we can....ummm..... share my bed.” I nearly fell over. Why did that seem like a bad idea, and yet I was nearly jumping for joy?
He looked up at me then. “I once again had to focus on the current situation. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”
He nodded and walked over to the bed and pulled back the blanket. He paused and looked a little conflicted. “Which side do you want?”
“Side?”
“Yeah, you want to be against the wall or not?”
“Mmmm does it matter?”
“Well if you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you’ll have to climb over me to get there.” He blushed slightly. I couldn’t help but smirk. It was so cute....... uh oh......
“Oh.” Was all I found myself replying with. I was once again not really thinking about the subject at hand. Maybe I had ADD {Attention Deficit Disorder}?
“I guess I’ll just take the wall then.” He resolved by himself. He climbed into the bed and scooted over to the side next to the wall.
I shrugged. I really didn’t want to argue with him. I climbed in next to him. He turned away from me to face the wall. Couldn’t blame him there, this was awkward. I did the same. Our backs were to each other. “Good night Tai.”
“Night.”
\\-----------------//
I woke up with that annoying urge one gets sometimes in the middle of the night. {I am NOT talking about THAT urge! >_<} I tried to go back to sleep but I felt like my bladder was about to explode. I looked over to see Matt asleep soundly. I couldn’t help but pause and admire his sleeping form. He was lying on his back, his head tilted to the side slightly. His hair was spread out around him. I couldn’t wake him. He looked to peaceful. ‘Guess we do this the hard-James Bond way. OK agent double Oh-my-God-Matt-looks-too-cute-to-wake-up-so-I-have-opted-to-act-out-an-old-movie.’
I slowly pushed the blanket off of me. Then every so quietly I got up on my hands and knees and started to climb over Matt. I had just about made it to where my foot was touching the floor when Matt shifted. He leg slid over and hit my knee and I was thrown off balance. My face pitched forward and I instinctively locked my arms out just in time to catch myself from head butting Matt. I opened my eyes to see that I was barely and inch or so away from Matt’s face. His lips were parted slightly. I noticed alarmingly that I was trying to close the distance between our lips. I fought the urge to lean down and to at least learn how his lips felt. It just wasn’t right for me to do that to him. Besides I just don’t think Matt would be happy that his best friend was kissing him. I eased up and sorta hopped the rest of the way off the bed. ‘HA HA! SUCCESS! I RULE!’ I did a little dance and made a Victory V. That was until I noticed no one was really there to see it. ‘cept for maybe my bladder, which took the opportunity to remind me why I had even performed that little maneuver at that moment.
~Didn’t think I would actually write about Tai peeing did you?~
I walked back into the room and wondered just how I was going to get back into bed. Well upon looking at the bed my question was answered. Matt had shifted over to my side. His now vacant side was open for the taking. I pulled the blanket back lightly and ever so slowly slid under.
After I was settled I laid there looking at Matt. He was facing me, still looking as adorable as ever. reached out and brushed a couple of stray strands of hair that had fell into his face. He stirred and I pulled my hand back.
It hurt. I wanted to let him know so much. I wanted him to know, it was the right thing. Like he said he was my best friend and he deserved to know how I felt. I guess I was just selfish. Wouldn’t anyone be though? Who would want to lose a great guy like Matt? NO ONE! Especially not me, that is why I won’t tell him. So I guess I would just have to settle for this....
“I love you Matt.” I whispered gently. I then turned away and huddled into the blanket.
I was just ready to drift off when I felt him move closer to me and wrap his arms around me. He pulled me tightly against him.
“I love you too Tai.”
tsuzuku
WWWWHHHHEEEEEE! I’m FINALLY done! It’s about damn time too! Look how long it took me to write this damn chapter! I can’t believe it! This WHOLE damn thing was just to get Matt over to Tai’s so that little tid bit at the end could get out. Did I over do it?
This thing ended up being 9000 words. Sheesh, I even took off a little for the beginning and ending notes. I think I have WAY to much of a imagination. What do YOU think? So, did this chapter help at all? I mean did it stray from what you thought it would be like compared to the first one? Yes I know there was a LOT of angst in there, but hey I told you there would be. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Just call me KING ANGST!
mmm oh yeah I told you that there would be a reason why Tai ran home wearing matt’s clothes. ^_^ hee hee. Well I REALLY would like to know what you thought of all this. There’s some more plot that I can add to this. So it won’t be all Matt/Tai angsty stuff.
Oh yeah....PINEAPPLES ON PIZZA IS GOOD! Pineapples rule in general! They are probably the best fruit in the world! Right after Strawberries. >_> hee hee.
Oh yes for those of you are wondering what Initial D is. There are SOME fansites out there to it. However some of them are not very good, or they aren’t updated since like last year. You really should see it for yourself, cause you really can’t describe it in words. ’cept for maybe the plot. Which is just that this teenage boy can drive a honda REALLY REALLY fast and can take a hair pin turn at 70 miles per. It’s a love hate anime, you either love it or you don’t. The music KICKS ASS, the animation is a little hard to get used to, but after like three epis you get used to it.
One LAST thing, I SWEAR IT IS! I figured out why nearly EVERYONE sends Kari over to Yolei's {I still think if you follow the rules of the ENGISH language that it's SUPPOSED to be spelled Yolie} Anyways there is actual scientific basis for this. Well there is you just don't send her there cause you want her to get it on with Yolei......*ahem* anyhoo if you think about it, Tai's mom CAN'T cook worth shit, she doesn't stock up on food all that well...considering most of it isn't even RECOGNIZED by the FDA as edible and or nutrishous...... Yolei's family OWNS a FOOD store, HELLO! She goes over there to EAT! That is where she actually gets food from, same thing for Tai, he bugs Matt to cook for him...hee hee. Theres that and well who wants to be forced to hang out with ther OLDER brother? Even if he IS Tai....big bushy hair.......adorable smile.....chocolatey eyes.....firm body..............charming voice...................O_o ehhhhh where was I? oh well
until next time.
JA MATTE NE!
Words in between ’...’ and in italics means it is thought not said.
bold words are words said with strong emotions, such as anger and hate and so forth.
Words in between *.........* means it is an action.
Words in between {...........} means I’m being stupid and interjecting in the story to ruin the mood.
By Drakin Tenryu
Chapter 2: Remorse, Regret and Revelations
Drakin