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He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, (like "don't spend more than you have"), and reliable parenting strategies, (i.e. "adults, not kids, are in charge", etc).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when certain well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer an aspirin to a student, but were not allowed to inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion.
Mr. Sense took a sharp turn for the worse when most people in a certain country accepted without question that a handful of young fanatics with box cutters single-handedly pulled of the most ingenious and well-coordinated terrorist attack in history, and that while it was happening, the largest, most powerful, most sophisticated military force on the planet was powerless to stop it.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals started to receive far more favorable legal consideration than their victims.
Common Sense completely gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement. He barely responded when a burglar broke into a home, was attacked by the owner's dog, and ended up being awarded a sum greater than the value of the home he was trying to rob.
Common Sense was preceeded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
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