Wayne Collins
102-2060 Quingate Place
Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada
B3L 4P7
To those who think I am doing what I am doing just for fun are nuts and very wrong. I am in debt and I am helping my girlfriend with her meds that she needs to stay alive. She is Living the states and they don't any msi like we do. She is on 18 meds. Doesn't get enough money to cover them all. So ya'll think about that next time you walk by me or give a weird look.
Does History repeat itself? Sure does. In September 2001 my girlfriend, Julie went back home to Tampa and in September 2005 she left me again for good this time. On Both nights that she was packing her things up, She said this, "I should take my pillow". But she didn't take it. So you see that September is very bad month for me. I miss her so much. I always will love her. I made a promise to myself if it didn't work between her and I this would last time I would go with anyone. It is just hard on my heart and I am getting too old to have my broke again. I don't know if anyone can die from a broken heart but I do know I will welcome death when it comes to me. My heart is so enpty without her here now. All my hopes and dreams are gone. A man without hopes and dreams has nothing and he is nothing.
Well it is Christmas day 2005. I got up at 3pm and open my two gifts then gave my pet rabbit, Pierre his treat a apple. And had my Christmas dinner which my care worker made a few days ago. Christmas is a lonely time for me and this one even more so since Julie left me. In 1975 I had my first Christmas in the playhouse which I had to move into in that summer. That was pretty lonely Christmas also. Don't get me wrong I know there is lots people worst off than me without homes or food. I think people should treat people better all the year around not just at Christmas time.
Well it's New Year's day 2006. I just had my chicken dinner. I have only one hope for this year which is to get my debt down. My personal life I have no hopes or dreams since I lost Julie. But life must go on.
Well it is day two of February. It has been very lonely time in my life since the new year. I am trying to go on without Julie but sure hell not easy but I know that I have to. And my money is running out which makes matters worse. I have no one who I can turn to for help. I found that out. Hope I can hold on till spring.
Well It is March 26. Julie told me that she got marry on the new years eve last night. I am sad but I do hope it works for her this time because she does deerve to be happy. She is living in Vancouver BC. Well I will be 60 on the 21 first of April. I will write a few more notes then.
Well it is 21 first of April 2006 my birthday. I made it to 60 any ways. Not very happy since lost my love of my life but I know that I have to move on in my life and make best of it. Barb got me a small cake. The warther is not the best today. Hope tomorrow is better because I need to make some money bad. I am so behind in my bills. Hopely I can get catch up this summer a bit. Any ways will write more later on.
It is June 24th 2006
Julie told me a few months ago that she was with child. Hope she will be ok with her health the way it is. I always will love her even she isn't with me anymore. Will write more soon.
Aug.9 Barb told me that Marilyn told her that Julie past away on 27th of July in her room. I am sure gonna miss her. She is in a better place. Write more soon.
Sept.6th I have bean thinkng about Julie a lot past few week. It still hard for me that she is gone from the earth. The story she told me and everyone here about being marry and with child was just a story. It is too bad that she felt that she had to tell a story about her life. I feel bad for her that she was so lonely that she had to make a story up about her life. I will write more on the 22sd.
Sept.22, 2006
Well It's a year since Julie left. I still remember the cold look on her face as she got into the cab. A big part of me died that morning. Now she is gone from the earth two months. Today will be very long day for me. My life never will be the same now. Will write more soon.
Oct. 04-06
I had to put Pierre my pet rabit down today. He got real sick. His body shuted down. This is the same day that Cathy Rude past away in Truro in 1992. I am gonna miss Pierre very much. It is very entry in here without him but I know he is with Julie now. Will write more soon.
December, 5, 20006
Well it's another lonely christmas season for me. Julie and I should be together but it wasn't to be and with Pierre gone as well I feel so alone. I will stay in bed christmas day most likely. It will be very long day other wise. I will write more later.
Dec.10, 2006
Another long day here but much to write. The weather is cold. Got my tree up Wednessday. Will more soon.
Dec. 25th, 2006
Another lonely christmas day for me. I feel so entry inside without Julie and Pierre. They were my family. And now I have no one. I know that I am not the lonely one in this boat in life nd I must go on and make the best of it. Will write more later.
Jan. 01, 2007
Well it's the first day of another day. I wish I could say that I had something to look forward to. Guess I just try to get my debt paid off or most of it and go from there. Will write more soon.
April 14, 2007
It has been awhile since I wrote something. My birthday is next Saturday. I am going to be 61. I am still dealing with Julie's death. I am doing best I can to go on with my life. I am still working on my debt. It's going down slowly.
I am going play in the boccia tournament on the 29th. I hope that I do well then. Will write more after that.
June 19, 2007
Well It's been long time since I wrote here. I can't believe it it is two years this month that Julie was herethe last time and it will be a year next month that she pass away. It has very hard year for me. I am alway thinking of her. I know she is at piece now. Hope we can get together in the next life. Will wtite more soon.
September, 06 2007
Well it has been a long time since my last writing here. Julie has been on my mind these days. Guess 22sd is coming up that was the day she left me in 2005. I can't believe it been two years.
The waterfront season is coming to an end soon. Time is flying by this year. Not many problems this year. Just a few assholes making fun of me. Their day is coming. Will write more later on.
Jan. 21-2008
I haven't wrote anything since Sept. 6th of last year here. It was long and lonely year for me. Still dealing with Julie's death. It is going on two years since she died. One good thing in my life is my debt is down to about 4 gs. I will be glad when the winter is over and I'm able to work on it again. That helps to keep me busy too. I am still coaching boccia. No girlfriends for now any ways. Will more soon.
September 28, 2008
It has been long time since I wrote any thing here. We are back to boccie today. I have my debt almost paid off thank god! We are having another storm tonight. Hope it's not too bad. I have thinking about Julie a lot last few weeks. It is the time of the year that she left I guess. Will write more later on.
January 1, 2009
Well it's another new year. I have been thinking about the pass a lot last few weeks. This time of the year is very lonely for me. I guess not have any family that cares doesn't help and most of my friends are far away or dead.
The world is in a big mess. Seems man can't learn from his srew ups. A russian said that the states could end in 2010 as we know it. Canada would get some of the north states. True or just his hope? Time will tell. Will write more soon.