Britney Spears Turns Out To Be A Blithering Idiot!
by E. Al Pants
In what came as no surprise to women across America, but a huge, shocking disappointment
to countless middle-aged men ... Britney Spears spoke in an interview this month, revealing the personality of a naïve, teenager who barely has the intellectual muscle to form sentences...
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Whose God is it Anyway?
*The content of this website is satire and is fully intended as such. Any reference to any persons or oganizations is not intended to harm, injure or defame in any way, but is solely meant for entertainment and should not be mistaken for journalism or protestation. In fact, this entire website is a pack of lies. Bitter and unseemly lies from a lonely bitter man who only wants to be loved. Can't you see that? So please, stop taking it so seriously. Is your life so empty, so uneventful that you have the time and resources to raise objections to poor Pants' rantings? Are you that insecure? Then listen mister, and you listen good. And remember, this is out of love. This is out of caring and simple humanity. Put that bottle down. Put that bottle down and get some help right now, because believe you me, nobody can help you but you. And you're the only you we've got, you crazy galoot. I can't imagine this big ol' world without ya, but I'll tell you what, this is one lil' camper who's gonna be singin' some pret - ty sad songs around the old campfire if you decide to check out of this big hotel we call the Earth. So put down the bottle. Put it down right now because... well, because I love you. I know you don't think I mean it, but I do. When I think of all those times we had under the... well, you know. I don't have to say it. But then you left me for someone else. Someone named Jack. And I'll tell ya, old mister Daniels is a jealous partner isn't he? He wants you all to himself now doesn't he? Well, I can't fix you, you know that. Only you can fix that particular person, and I think we already said that, so I won't beat a dead horse. In fact... I gotta go see a man about a horse. Um... see ya. Enjoy the website.
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I don’t have a scanner.
