The promo for ECW Heatwave plays, and then it takes you to the packed Grand Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. The crowd is nuts, chanting "E-C-W! E-C-W!" In the ring stands "The Voice of ECW" Joey Styles with a wide grin on his face.
Styles: Hello, AND WELCOME EVERYONE TO ECW HEATWAVE!!!
The crowd pops again, chanting "JOEY! JOEY! JOEY!" This crowd is PUMPED for Heatwave.
Styles: I'm Joey Styles, and WHAT A HELL OF A NIGHT WE HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU! Tonight, it's gonna be a Three-Way Death Match for the ECW World Heavyweight Title between Death, Justin Credible and Raven!
Another big pop.
Styles: And a Double Flaming Tables Match for the ECW World Television Championship!
But just then, a booming voice comes over the speakers.
Voice: Excuse me, EXCUSE ME!
The crowd immediately boos and jeers as Cyrus walks down the entrance. *Note= There is NO Network. Cyrus is just being a pain in the ass like he was before the whole Network ordeal.
Cyrus: Joey, these idiots don't want to hear your ramblings! They want some real commentary!
ECW Crowd: KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS!
Joey rolls his eyes, being the non-violent person he is. Strange, seeing how he works for one of the most violent wrestling companies in North America. Then all of a sudden...
2nd Voice: Well, Well, WELL!
The crowd erupts, as The Quintessential Studmuffin Joel Gertner comes out, walking down the ramp and getting into the ring.
Cyrus: Listen up fatty, you get your chance to make bottom of the barrel commentary every damn week! If people wanted to hear you, they'd pay for TNN! Every idiot around this country paid to hear the words come from my great mouth! Now beat it, before I put you on a diet!
Cyrus makes his stupid laughing expression, as Gertner punches him right in the face. Cyrus goes down, holding his face as he gets him up, and throws him over the top rope, picking up Cyrus' mic.
Gertner: It's me, the Quintissential Studmuffin, Joel" I've had more chicks in a week than in Cyrus' life, hell, I EVEN FUCKED HIS WIFE" Gertner!
The crowd erupts, chanting "GERTNER! GERTNER!" as ECW promotes its new t-shirt.
Styles: We're back, what the hell?!
"Perfect Strangers" blasts over the speakers, and out steps the one, the only, "The Franchise" Shane Douglas! Styles: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S THE FRANCHISE, HE'S BACK IN ECW!
Gertner: Joey, this is unbelievable! This must have been that former ECW World Champ!
Douglas slides into the ring, taking a microphone.
Douglas: Holy shit it feels good to be back!
A deafening chant of "WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!" comes over the GOA. Douglas: It's been too damn long. WCW wanted to put a leash around my neck, tell me what do and when to do it, I TOOK THAT SAME LEASH AND SPAT ON IT! Nobody tells The Franchise what to do! But alot of things have changed since I've last been here. Hell, Raven's still here, but Justin Credible was the champ, we got some sicko named Death, but Taz is still here chokin' people out! But ya see, I bet alot of people were really looking forward to the main event. Raven versus Death versus Justin Credible, but what was once a huge main event, JUST BECAME A FUCKING COLOSSAL MAIN EVENT! Because I talked to my pal Paul, and you're looking at the special guest referee for tonight's main event!
The crowd burst into cheers, and now chants "FRANCHISE! FRANCHISE!" Styles: OH MY GOD! Shane Douglas is the special guest referee for the main event here on Heatwave!
Douglas: So Los Angeles, PREPARE TO BE FRANCHISED!
Douglas leaves to a loud ovation and numerous chants. Now lets get ready for some action!
"CRASH!" The crowd gives a small pop as Mankind and Al Snow come out. They stand at the beginning of the entry way, Mankind holding up his sock and Al Snow holding up his mannequin head. But before the two can proceed, The Dudley Boyz run out from behind to boos.
Styles: The Dudleys have jumped Mankind and Al Snow! D-Von driving Snow's face repeatedly into the ramp, and Buh Buh Ray drives vicious right hands into Mankind's face. Now Buh Buh Ray takes a handful of Mankind's hair, and sends him flying down the ramp!
Gertner: I wouldn't touch that hair if you payed me! It's probably got more bugs in it than Dawn Marie's pubi...
Styles: D-Von stomping on Al Snow, and now getting him to his feet. D-Von Dudley scoops Snow up, and begins to run down the ramp with Snow in his clutches, before driving his spine into the ringpost!
Buh Buh Ray has slid Mankind into the ring, and is now stomping the hell out of him. The big Dudley Brother backs Mankind into the ropes.
Styles: OH MAN! Buh Buh crushed Mankind in the corner with an avalanche! Back to D-Von, he irish whips Snow right into the guard rail!
Gertner: Excuse me Joey, but I believe that is a Dudleyville whip.
Styles: Whatever. D-Von slams Al Snow's face against the guard rail, and slides him into the ring. D-Von going under the ring for not one, but TWO tables!
Gertner: One for Al Snow AND Mankind!
Styles: D-Von slides them both in and gets in himself. He sets it up, and gets up the hurt Al Snow. Snow to the ropes, DUDLEY DEATH DROP THROUGH A TABLE! AL SNOW SENT THROUGH THE TABLE!
The crowd is cheering at the move, chanting "E-C-Dub!"
Styles: Buh Buh Ray sitting on the other turnbuckle as D-Von sets the second table up!
Gertner: Mankind is about to go for a ride, but its something more dangerous than mis-balancing his walker!
Styles: D-Von hoisting Mankind up, and placing his legs on Buh Buh's shoulders! OH MY GOD! SUPER BUH BUH BOMB THROUGH A TABLE! D-Von covers Snow, and Buh Buh covers Mankind! 1, 2, 3! The Dudleys have destroyed Snow and Mankind!
The Dudleys are handed the ECW Tag Team Titles, leaving Snow and Mankind laying lifeless on the mat.
Styles: What a match we have, Mr.Pay-Per-View Rob Van Dam, with Fonzie; will square off against X-Pac in what should be a high paced matchup.
"Walk" by Kilgore blasts as fans chant along. Bill Alfonso comes out blowing his whistle while R-V-D mouths to the camera, "I am the Whole Fucking Show."
Gertner: Van Dam is looking in peak physical condition Joey, still not quite as good as me...
Styles: Rob Van Dam standing on the second turnbuckle now, Fonzie parading around the ring.
The fans are loudly chanting R-V-D!, R-V-D!, when all of a sudden, X-Paaac!" is blasted on the PA system. Pac's song plays as he and Tori come out to courses of catcalls, with "X-Pac Sucks" being the most prominent.
Styles: The fans here in L.A. letting Tori and X-Pac what they think about them. X-Pac and Tori walking near the ringpost that Van Dam's standing on.
Gertner: R-V-D is about to fly Joey!
Styles: Oh my God! Did you see that! Rob Van Dam with his huge somersault plancha onto X-Pac and Tori!
"E-C-dub, E-C-dub" is being screamed by the hardcore fans.
Gertner: X-Pac diving into the ring. Tori getting up, Fonzie is chasing that hot piece of ass around the ring. Look at her bounce, she has more plastic in her than a Lifesize Barbie.
Styles: Van Dam, in the ring now. R-V-D with a big DDT in the center of the ring! He's going up top! The fans are chanting 'R-V-D', he's going for the 5 Star Frogsplash!
Gertner: He flies higher on accident than most people do on purpose. He jumps...
Styles: X-Pac gets to his feet..catches Van Dam's head in mid-air, X-Factor! Oh my God, how the hell did he hit that?
One..Two..Three!
Styles: As quickly as this one began, it ends. The crowd here in Los Angeles is shocked. Tori and X-Pac are celebrating in the ring...
Styles: What a match we have next, Taz and The Sandman in a Double Flaming Tables match for the ECW Television Title!
All of a sudden, Metallica's guitars boom over the speakers. The drum kicks in, and "Enter Sandman" begins to rock over the Grand Olympic Auditorium. The crowd boos The Sandman, as he appears in the crowd with a beer in his hand. He has security around him so none of the fans can touch him. Sandman downs a beer and continues through the crowd, getting into the ring. Gertner: Ever since The Sandman repeatedly caned Taz in the back of the skull, these fans have lost alot of respect for him.
Styles: Love him or hate him, The Sandman is one of the toughest performers I've ever seen in my life.
Just as Joey finishes, "Survive(If I Let You)" blasts over the speakers as the crowd absoloutely erupts. Taz walks out, black towel draped over his head and the ECW TV Belt around his waist. He gets into the ring, ripping off his towel and crossing his arms.
Styles: The intensity between these two must be at an all-time high!
The ring is surrounded by four tables in each corner. In The Sandman's corner, there is a bottle of gasoline and a pack of matches, and the same thing in Taz's corner. The bell rings.
Styles: The bell has rung! Taz and Sandman circling each other, preparing to lock up.
Gertner: Sandman better take it easy or he might get nailed with one of those TAZplexes.
The Sandman lunges forward, but Taz ducks and circles away.
Styles: Taz preparing for the perfect moment to attack. Sandman charges forward going for a high knee, but Taz catches him...HIGH CRADLE TAZPLEX! What a move!
The Sandman clutches his back in pain, as Taz raises his arms to a pop.
Styles: Taz stomping the life outta The Sandman, but now forcing him to his feet. Taz with a vicious right forearm, and another! Taz is unleashing vicious shots to the face of Tim Fullington! Now The Human Suplex Machine with an irish whip, but the Original Hardcore Icon reverses it...Taz bounces off the turnbuckles, AND SANDMAN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Sandman gets Taz up, and punches him with a right hand. Taz shakes it off, as Sandman scoops his legs up.
Styles: Sandman holding Taz in the air...GOD WHAT A SPINEBUSTER!
Gertner: Taz's head bounced off that mat! Joey, Taz should just wait it out and let Sandman beat the crap out of him until he gets sober. Then he might realize what an out of shape idiot he is!
Styles: The Sandman going to the top rope, what the hell is he gonna do? Flying Legdrop! He dropped his leg across the throat of Taz!
1, 2, kickout!
Styles: Sandman came about a second away from being the ECW World Television Champion! The 24:7 Drunk slides outside the ring, and gets a chair! Sandman's got a chair!
The Sandman slides back into the ring, and holds the chair in the air to a mixed reaction.
Styles: The Sandman throwing that chair to the ground, and getting Taz to his feet. Sandman locking Taz's head between his knees, now what....piledriver! Taz's skull was piledrived onto the steel chair! And now he's going for the flaming table!!!
The crowd pops, chanting "TABLE! TABLE!"
Gertner: That drunk is going to put Sandman through a flaming table!
Sandman slides the table into the ring, and sets it up. He drenches it in gasoline, and then takes a cigarette out of his mouth.
Styles: The Sandman enjoying a smoke! I can't believe it! And now Sandman throwing the cigarette on the table, and it goes up in flames!
Sandman goes back to Taz, getting him up. Styles: The 24:7 Drunk placing Taz's head between his knees, and now scooping him up....OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! SANDMAN POWERBOMBED TAZ THROUGH A FLAMING TABLE!
Crowd: E-C-W! E-C-W!
Taz rolls on the mat in pain, a burn part of flesh on his back.
Styles: OH MY GOD! The Sandman's smiling! Taz laying by the ropes, and Sandman gets that steel chair. He places it over the face of Taz, and gets onto the apron.
Sandman jumps up over the top rope using it to get more height and then executes a legdrop, driving the chair into Taz's face. An Arabian Facebuster I believe.
Gertner: How much more can Taz take? He's been powerbombed through a flaming table, piledrived onto a steel chair, and gotten a chair crushed against his face!
Styles: We're about to find out! Sandman going for his other table!
He drenches it in gasoline, and throws a match on it.
Styles: If Sandman puts Taz through this, he's the new Television Champion! The table is set up, and Sandman whips Taz to the corner, Taz reverses it and The Sandman goes smashing into the corner! He bounces off into the clutches of Taz, OH MY GOD! T-BONE TAZPLEX THROUGH A FLAMING TABLE! SANDMAN WENT THROUGH IT HEAD FIRST!
The crowd cheers as Taz leans his body in the corner, getting his wind back. He then walks back over to Sandman, getting him up.
Styles: The Sandman is in pain, but so is Taz. The ECW Television Champion with a knee to his opponent's midsection, and then a vicious uppercut! Taz with a right hand to the gut, and now a DDT!
Gertner: Taz can't pin Sandman, he's gotta put him through a flaming table!
Taz goes to the a corner, picking up Sandman's Singapore cane.
Styles: Sandman ducks the cane, WHITE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! SANDMAN USED HIS CANE TO LEGSWEEP THE CHAMP! That was a big move!
The 24:7 Drunk gets to his feet, stumbling around a bit. Sandman goes outside the ring, getting another table. He slides it in, and then places it on an angle in the corner.
Styles: Sandman throws a match on the gasoline soaked table, and its now on fire! He's got Taz bent over, but Taz drives a right hand into the gut of Sandman!
The Sandman swings a wild punch.
Styles: Taz ducks the punch, grabs his arm...TAZMISSION! HE'S GOT THE TAZMISSION LOCKED ON!
Gertner: Sandman better try to find a way out!
Styles: OH MY F'N GOD! AAAAHH!
Gertner: Joey, did he just do what I think he did?!?!
Styles: A Tazmissionplex! GOOD GOD! Sandman could be seriously hurt! This match is over, Taz has retained his title!
Click here to see the highly anticipated Three Way Death Match for the ECW WORLD TITLE!