A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z |
A
About a Boy
- Delightfully shallow.
About Schmidt
- A fine, fine film.
Adaptation - A voice over and above.
A.I. - It's real all right, but real what?
The Alamo - A treasured piece of Americana.
Alexander
- My Big Fat Greek Tragedy.
Alien vs. Predator
- Whoever wins, we don't care.
Almost Famous
- Almost perfect.
Along Came a Spider
- A sticky web of intrigue and action.
Amelie - Quirky and cute French import (subtitle warning).
American Beauty - Eccentric yet engaging. The year's best.
American Pie - A slice of comedic ambrosia.
American Pie 2
- This summer it's all about getting sloppy together.
American Wedding
- Your basic American love story.
America's Sweethearts
- This nation loves cutesy fluffy romantic comedies.
Analyze That - I'll vouch for some guffaws.
Analyze This - Mobsters have feelings too.
Anchorman - Stay classy, iJeff viewers.
Anger Management - Mismanaged.
An Ideal Husband - Not ideal for me. I'm sure it's better on stage.
Antz - Maybe all Woody Allen films from now on should be animated.
Any Given Sunday - Stone's newest effort is given to cause headaches and seizures.
The Apostle - Duvall's never been better.
Arlington Road - Interesting ending, otherwise so-so.
Austin Powers in Goldmember - Still shagadelic the third time 'round.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - Rolling-on-the-floor funny.
The Avengers - Bad script, bad cast, bad direction, bad editing = Really bad movie.
The Aviator - Soars.
B
Babe: Pig in the City - Great visuals but too depressing.
Bad Boys 2 - Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad Santa - For goodness' sake, stay away.
Bandits - Butch and Sundance it ain't.
Barbershop - A fun cut-up.
Basic - Neither shocking nor awing.
Batman Begins - Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?
Battlefield Earth - Travolting.
A Beautiful Mind - A terrible thing to waste.
Bedazzled - Sell your soul to Liz.
Behind Enemy Lines - Formulaic military hero-rah rah.
Being John Malkovich - Original, inventive...insert 10 other positive adjectives.
Best in Show - Just don't luuuuuv your pet.
Bewitched - Magical comedy.
Big Daddy - Big disappointment. Disturbing more than funny.
Big Fish - Don't let it be the one that got away.
Black Hawk Down - Reality was never so real.
The Blair Witch Project - Not scary, but excellent psychological thriller that will affect filmmaking for the next decade.
Blood Work - Steady pulse.
Blue Crush - Surf's up!
Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius - Even par.
Boiler Room - Take stock in the future by seeing this hip film.
Bounce - A match made in liars heaven.
Bound - Too bad when even lesbians can't save a film.
The Bourne Identity - Don't forget this cool spy thriller.
The Bourne Supremacy - All the makings of a tasty treat.
Bowfinger - I can't put my finger on it. Yeah, it's funny, but nothing great.
Bridget Jones's Diary - Signed. Sealed. Delivered. I'm yours, Renee.
Bringing Down the House - Sublet before buying.
Bringing Out the Dead - Contains some dead-on characterization.
Brotherhood of the Wolf - Feed your inner animal.
The Brothers Grimm - Collected everything but a cohesive story.
Bruce Almighty - In Jim We Trust.
A Bug's Life 
- Disney could make a scab adorable.
Bulletproof Monk - Fulfills entertainment enlightenment.
The Butterfly Effect - Dude, where's my memory?
C
Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Plays your heart strings.
Casino Royale - Stirring.
Cast Away - Get away from it all.
Catch Me If You Can - Catch it, you must.
Celebrity - Brief scenes of genius, otherwise tedious.
The Cell - Mind over matter.
Charlie's Angels - I've seen a piece of what heaven has to offer.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - Stuck in the wrong gear.
Charlotte Gray - Embattled.
Chicago - Razzle-Dazzled me.
Chicken Run - A clucking good time.
Chocolat - Sensually sweet.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - A bundle of entertainment.
The Chronicles of Riddick - A Necromonger of a good time.
Cinderella Man - No glass jaw for Jim Braddock.
City by the Sea - Comes at you in waves.
A Civil Action - A little long, but worth a matinee viewing.
Cold Mountain - Too depressing? Fiddle-dee-dee!
Collateral - And you thought taxis were just dangerously smelly.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - Say seven Hail Marys and whack a Commie in the morning.
Confidence - It's about playing it cool, man.
Constantine - Hellishly entertaining.
Contact - Definitely not a waste of space.
The Count of Monte Cristo -
Fine escapism (literally and figuratively).
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Oriental epic that kicks some tail.
Cruel Intentions - Women kiss. Need I say more?
D
Daredevil - Sinfully enjoyable.
Dark Blue - Black and blue.
Dick - Good support unable to make up for inane lead characters.
Die Another Day - Nearly dead in the water.
The Dish - Relays the cute back story during one of mankind's greatest achievements.
Dodgeball - Don't duck away from it.
Dogma - Humorous, repetitive, elightening, drab. I can't make up my mind.
Double Jeopardy - Answer: A movie that has no IQ requirement to enjoy. Question: What is Double Jeopardy?
Down With Love - Not up for it.
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas - I hate to be a grinch, but I was disappointed.
Driven - Stalled in the pits.
The Dukes of Hazzard - Careens out of control.
E
EDtv - Truman Show stole its thunder.
Eight Below - Doggies!
8 Mile - Joyless, yet well made.
8 Women - Toss out the Y chromosome and things get unhinged.
Election - My vote for most intelligent teen comedy ever.
Elektra - Kickin' it new school.
Elf - 'Tis the season to be jolly.
Elizabeth - Absolutely stunning portrayal of a young Queen Elizabeth I.
Elizabethtown - Quarterlife Crisis.
End of Days - Some days it's fun to watch an Arnold action flick.
Enemy at the Gates - Worth a shot.
Enemy of the State - Too fast. Gave me a headache.
Entrapment - Felt trapped in my seat in this dull caper picture.
Equilibrium - When freedom is outlawed, only guys with super martial arts skills and guns will have freedom.
Erin Brockovich - Pretty woman wins a civil action.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Unforgettable.
Evolution - Loses out in the survival of the funniest.
Eye of the Beholder - Behold mediocrity.
Eyes Wide Shut - My eyes were shut and my mouth wide open (snoring).
F
Fever Pitch - Down the middle.
50 First Dates - I love Drew over and over and over and over and over again.
Fight Club - Knockout film that deters, not inspires, violence with stunning visuals and pulsating soundtrack.
Finding Forrester - Find your inspiration.
Finding Neverland - Clap if you believe magical movies still exist!
Forces of Nature - Nothing forced about the draw of Affleck and Bullock.
For Love of the Game - Great baseball scenes, dull love story.
The 40 Year-Old Virgin - Even better the second time.
The Four Feathers - Ordinary, so it won't ruffle your feathers.
Freddy vs. Jason - They slice! They dice! They chop through teens in one fell swoop!
Frequency - Tune in to an interesting concept.
G
Galaxy Quest - Succeeds by going where few have gone before.
Gangs of New York - Don't fughedaboutit.
Garden State - Quarterlife Crisis.
The General's Daughter - By-the-book thriller.
Ghost World - So in that it's cool, but not for me.
The Gift - Return it.
Gladiator - Unleash a kickass flick.
Go! - Four stars means you should Go see it.
Gods and Generals - History tastes great, script less filling.
Gods and Monsters - Ian McKellan gives an Oscar-worthy performance.
The Good Girl - Good girl makes bad choices.
Gosford Park - Stuffy to a fault.
The Great Raid - Indeed, it was.
The Green Mile - Miraculous.
Guess Who - This cracker laughed.
Gunner Palace - Thought-provoking documentary.
H
Hannibal - It's what's for dinner.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - An open book.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Magic works.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Entertainus maximus.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - Tricks a treat.
Hearts in Atlantis - A modest, genuine mystery.
Heist - Crooked script with Cool crooks.
Hellboy - On fire for the spawn.
Hero - You'll be hungry for more in an hour.
High Fidelity - In tune with romantic comedy.
A History of Violence - Pacificism is for dead people.
Hitch - Cure for the common Jeff.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - 42 thumbs up.
Hollywood Homicide - It'll make a killing.
The Hours - Can you feel it?
House of Flying Daggers - Sharp.
The Hulk - Jeff no like. Jeff smash!
I
Identity - Shh. It's a secret.
The Importance of Being Earnest - A Wilde ride.
In and Out - Not a terrible rental.
In the Bedroom - A serious drama for serious times.
Inside Man - A Spike Lee joint. Without the joints.
The Insider - My sources tell me that it is a great film.
Instinct - Gooding, Jr. and Hopkins make it worthwhile if you avoid your instinct to skip the film.
Intolerable Cruelty - Love. Honor. Obey.
I, Robot - I, Don't Care.
The Iron Giant - I thought everyone wanted family-oriented films? Then go see this film, dagummit!
The Island - Bay being Bay.
The Italian Job - Not much brain work. In a good way.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - Snootchie bootchie good time.
Jurassic Park 3 - Heh heh, people getting bitten in half are cool.
K
K 19: The Widowmaker - Submerged without sympathy.
Keeping the Faith - A priest, a rabbi and a blonde make a charming movie...
Kill Bill, Vol. 1 - A revenge movie is best served cold-hearted.
Kill Bill Vol. 2 - Wows us with flash.
King Arthur - Gather 'round.
King Kong - Tons of action but focus on the drama.
A Knight's Tale - I weighed it, I measured it, and I did not find it wanting.
Knockaround Guys - Takes a lickin'.
K-PAX - Your task is to ride the light to the theater.
L
The Ladykillers - Slay 'em with style.
The Last Castle - Worth a salute.
The Last Samurai - Honorable.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - Ordinary.
The Legend of Bagger Vance - Redford a natural at sports drama.
Les Miserables - I need to hear the music!
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - More Bill, more better.
Life Is Beautiful - Helps make life worth living.
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - One movie to bind us all.
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - My precious!
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - Towers over the rest.
Lord of War - Shoots from the hip.
Lost in Translation - Once was lost, but now am found.
Love Actually - Disappointing, actually.
M
Magnolia - You can't help but watch when things "happen."
The Majestic - Just doesn't feel grander than life.
Man on the Moon - Carrey's stock rises, movie shines as a beacon of joy.
The Man Who Wasn't There - The pacing that wasn't there.
March of the Penguins - The coldest movie with the warmest heart.
The Mask of Zorro - Unmasking a fine actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World - A sea worthy expedition.
The Matador - Didn't feel like charging the film's red cape.
Matchstick Men - A good movie, and that's no swindle.
The Matrix - The kickin' booty movie of the year!
The Matrix Reloaded - Being The One ain't all it's cracked up to be.
The Matrix Revolutions - For entertainment purposes only.
Meet Joe Black - One shocking scene makes it worth the money. 3 hours too long otherwise.
Meet the Parents - Meet embarrassment.
Men in Black 2 - Hard to make 'it' look good twice.
The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc - This movie spoke to me, and fortunately I was listening to the message.
Minority Report - A sometimes troubled vision.
Miracle - I still believe.
Mission: Impossible 2 - Cruise control.
The Missing - Find it.
Mission to Mars - Whew! This movie reeks. You gotta go see it!
Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Until attempted murder do us part.
Memento - Don't forget to catch this gem.
The Mexican - Viva la Brad y Julia!
Monsters, Inc. - Boo-yeah!
Moonlight Mile - Not typical, but the same.
Moulin Rouge - It cancan seduce you.
The Mummy - Won't bring back the dead, but fun two hours.
The Mummy Returns - Raising old-style B movies from the dead.
The Musketeer - All for one, and one for some.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Approved by the gods
Mystery Men - Not even Underdog can save this super-dud.
N
Napoleon Dynamite - I'll see whatever I want! Gosh!
National Treasure - Brought to you by the National Archives, who would like you to know that it's not really that easy to steal historical documents.
The Nativity Story - THE Christmas Story.
Never Been Kissed - Love ya Drew, but physical comedy is not your style.
Not Another Teen Movie - Another stupid teen movie.
Notting Hill - Hugh, Julia fall in love. No big whoop.
Nurse Betty - Prescription for accolades.
O
O Brother Where Art Thou - The best film of 2000.
Ocean's 11 - I'm in.
Ocean's 12 - One heist to rule them all.
Old School - You don't have to be a frosh to enjoy sophomoric humor.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico - Ole!
One Day in September - It's all real.
One Hour Photo - Creepy.
Open Range - I reckon you ought to see this fine Western.
The Others - You think you know, but you don't know. You know?
Out of Sight - Jennifer Lopez. Wowza!
P
The Patriot - Not revolutionary, but worth the price, taxes (with representation) included.
Payback - Root for the bad guy, but wait 'til VHS.
Pay It Forward - It's good, pass it on.
Pearl Harbor - Nothing sneaky about it, this one tries to blow you away.
The Perfect Storm - Into each life a 100-foot wave must fall.
The Phantom of the Opera - Like, whatever.
Phone Booth - Take the aisle down the center.
Pi - Still gives me nightmares, and not in a good way.
The Pianist - A well done, if difficult to see, film.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl - Yo-ho-ho, a pirate movie is for me!
Pitch Black - Darkness, murder and aliens, oh my!
Planet of the Apes - A lot of monkey business.
Pleasantville - Enchanting tale.
The Prince of Egypt - Animation, movie and soundtrack are all phenomenal.
The Producers - Ven you got it, flaunt it (less than this, though).
Proof of Life - Livin' la vida loca.
Psycho - Why!?
Punch-Drunk Love - A sometimes splendid thing.
Pushing Tin - Lot of stars who didn't even try to push the limits of acting.
The Recruit - I'm a scary judge of movie talent.
The Red Violin - Why Independent movies are made.
Reign of Fire - Summer fire that pops the popcorn flick.
Reindeer Games - The joys of Christmas: robbery, casinos and using people with sex.
Road to Perdition - On the right path.
Road Trip - Stalled comedy.
Ronin - Action not bad. Motley crew of actors a plus.
The Rookie - Slowed down with age.
The Royal Tenenbaums - Fit for a king.
Rules of Engagement - Follows the rules (i.e. cliches) of military drama.
Runaway Jury - Runaway hippies.
The Rundown - Your options are limited.
Run Lola Run - The filmmakers take the intense energy and style and run with it in this uber-cool flick.
Rush Hour - Enjoyable buddy picture.
Rush Hour 2 - Me love them long time.
Rushmore - Wickedly worth every penny. Bill Murray deserved a nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
S
The Santa Clause 2 - Jolly good time.
Scary Movie - I see funny people.
School of Rock - Class in session.
The Score - Interesting in parts. Just not enough of them.
The Scorpion King - So shall it B the people's movie.
Scream 3 - Do you like scary movies? Then why see the Scream franchise?
Seabiscuit - A day at the races where everyone wins.
Secondhand Lions - Firsthand disappointment.
Serenity - Tranquillity.
Shaft - I can dig it.
Shakespeare in Love - How do I love thee?
Shallow Hal - Careful not to gorge yourself on sweets.
Shanghai Knights - A real bobby dazzler.
Shanghai Noon - There's laughs in them thar hills.
Shopgirl - Single is as single does.
Showtime - Exit, stage right.
Shrek - Once upon a time there was a fun movie...
Shrek 2 - Green with funny.
Sideways - Goes down easy.
The Siege - Audience under siege. Run!
Signs - Swings away.
A Simple Plan - Nothing simple about this intense movie.
Sin City - Grand Theft Awesome!
The 6th Day - Brave old world.
61* - Plenty of room in this one for two heroes.
The Sixth Sense - "Fantastically creepy! One of year's best!"
Sleepy Hollow - Director Burton headed in the right direction.
Snatch - A grab bag of entertainment.
Solaris - Creepily lovely.
Something's Gotta Give - Oldest battle there is, between the sexes.
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut - Shockingly, grotesquely, laugh-out-loud funny.
Space Cowboys - The right stuff (for the first 2/3, at least).
The Spanish Prisoner - Better than expected. Steve Martin proves he has range.
Spider-Man - With great stories come great responsibilities.
Spider-Man 2 - A tangled web.
Spy Game - He shoots, he scores!
Starsky & Hutch - An easy ride in Bay City.
Star Trek: Insurrection - It's an odd Star Trek. Uh-oh.
Star Trek: Nemesis - Set phasers on 'blah'.
Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Do I really have to explain? ... Star Wars Episode 1 standing-in-line journal - 12 hours! We rule!
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones - Lucas can't clone magic.
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - End of an era.
Stealth - It may not be easy or straightforward but it is lucid, searching and anything but hollow. *snicker*
The Straight Story - A straight and narrow film that spans the ages.
Stuck on You - Attached at the funny bone.
Summer Catch - Strike out.
Summer of Sam - More like summer, fall, winter, spring, summer again, zzzzz.
The Sum of All Fears - Doesn't add up.
S.W.A.T. - In and out without a scratch.
Sweet Home Alabama - "Where the skies are so blue."
T
The Talented Mr. Ripley - More than a talented cast makes this a memorable trip to Italy.
Tarzan - Best animated Disney film since The Lion King.
10 Things I Hate About You - Under 20? Go see it. Over 20? Don't bother.
The Terminal - A pleasant layover.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines - It's the end of the world, as we know it, and I feel fine.
Thank You For Smoking - Blows smoke rings around Hollywood.
The Thin Red Line - "Gore Vidal Goes to War." Just say no.
Thirteen Days - A little slow, but it gets the point across.
The Thirteenth Floor - Decent sci-fi.
The 13th Warrior - Entertaining turn of the millenium (meaning 1,000 years ago) sorcery and swashbuckling tale.
The Thomas Crown Affair - Have to crown the original King.
Three Kings - Ushering in a new golden age of great filmmaking
3000 Miles to Graceland - You'd think Sex, Drugs and Elvis would leave me craving more. You'd think.
The Time Machine - Why can't you change the past?
Tomb Raider - Jolie shows off her big guns.
Tomb Raider 2 - Jolie opened up Pandora's Box, and let everything out.
Toy Story 2 - Playing with my past.
Traffic - I'm high on believing that this is a film for the ages.
The Transporter - Where do you want to kick tail today?
Trekkies - Some people deserve to be laughed at.
Troy - Homeric.
The Tuxedo - Doesn't fit.
200 Cigarettes - New Year's Eve was never so dull.
U
U-571 - Not a lot of depth, but plenty of charge.
Unbreakable - You must see it. It's unpreventable.
Underworld - The blood-sucking movie of the year!
V
Van Helsing - Too much suckitude.
Vertical Limit - Taken to the limit of your imagination.
A Very Long Engagement - A marriage of style and substance.
The Village - Who's afraid of big red riding hoodlum?
W
Walking Tall - Revenge is a dish best served with the side of a 2X4.
Walk the Line - It burns, burns, burns.
War of the Worlds - Close Enounters of the "Doomed!" Kind.
The Waterboy (with SW Episode 1 trailer premier!) - For Sandler fans only.
Wedding Crashers - I take thee comedy for better and funnier ...
We Were Soldiers - A fight for sore eyes.
What Dreams May Come - Interesting tale of the after-life with dark and colorful brushstrokes.
What Lies Beneath - Quietly addictive.
What Women Want - I'm sorry, what did you say?
Wild Wild West - You'd think for $100 million+ they could afford a decent script.
Windtalkers - Unfortunately told in an all too familiar code.
Wing Commander - The $4.95 effects budget had to have been bought through QVC.
The World is Not Enough - Ocre. Medi-ocre.
X
The X-Files - For fans only.
X-Men - X doesn't quite mark the spot.
X2 - X-citing.
XXX - Extreme!
Y
You've Got Mail - They get mail, we get cliches