For now, you can view some information about my struggles with integrating my spirituality and sexuality in the following account - My Story. I am a gay man. I've known since early childhood (about age 3) that I was "different." I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist church in a small southern town where gays were ridiculed, marginalized and "doomed to hell." Sound familiar?
I knew by age 14 that I wanted to go into the ministry. I just couldn't accept my sexuality, especially since the church "preached" so hard against it. After 3 mental breakdowns and 2 suicide attempts, I finally learned the truth - God created me, my sexuality is a gift and I don't need "deliverance", "healing", ex-gay ministries, or grace because I'm gay.
While I spent 20+ years in the ministry, coming out pretty much ended that since we pastored mostly in fundamentalist denominations. After 23 years of marriage my wife and I parted. It was a very sad time for us both. We spent our last year together grieving because we knew we were coming to a time when we would go our separate ways.
Sad Ending - Happy Beginnings!
Although she had known for years about my sexual orientation, we had always felt we could work past it. But I was helpless to change and didn't feel it was fair to put her and my children through another breakdown. We both agreed it was best. Now, after 6 years, she is remarried to a wonderful man who is very loving to her and our children. He has welcomed Jim and me to their home and we are always in touch. We get together for the kid's birthdays, cookouts from time to time, and other special occasions. Of course, if you've made it this far you know how my life has turned out.
I've presented most of my life's journey in synoptic view in the above link (My Story). ."
Fortunately, I had a background in financial management to fall back on and am currently employed with Duke University Medical Center.
North Carolina has been home for the past 16 years. Couldn't stand the cold winters and short summers of the north!