Kids in Trouble Help Page - Stories
Kelly's Story
Date Posted: Wed, May 31 2000
Hi, I'm Kelly and I am 36 years old. I spent my grade school years
being
molested by my brother. That was all I knew..I knew I could never take
a
bath or a shower without him coming in. I knew I could never have a
full
nights sleep because of him coming in my room in the middle of the
night. I
could not go outside without him coming to look for me. We have
stepsisters
that he would also molest..whoever he was molesting at the time, the
rest of
us had to watch, sometimes telling us to get flashlights so we could
see
everything..we didn't know any better..we did what he said because he
was
older and stronger and we could never tell cause he said it would be
very
bad if anyone found out. I also remember that he tried with the
babysitters
and my dad's secretery. ( the office was attached to the house) He made
me
watch then too. We were just kids..I thought. Well, the secretary told
mom
and dad. They talked to him and said that it wasn't right, I had hoped
and
prayed that it would stop but no, he was in my room that same
night..Finally, it got to a point that something told me that all this
was
not right..I felt differant, I'm guessing puberty. I tried to stay away
as
much as I could. Spending the night with friends etc. I not only got
tired
of the molesting but also the name calling. He always called me names
and
said how ugly and fat I was..until I began to believe it myself. I
finally
have realized, thanks to my husband, that I never was ugly or fat,now I
know
differant, I wish I had known that through school, I would have
participated
in school activities, see, he took all that away too..
One of the bad things that came out of this is I always had to keep
things
bottled in, never telling anyone anything..to the point that I was date
raped and raped in my own house, in my own bed..this guy I was seeing,
I was
about 15 then and he was alot older,mom and dad didn't know how old he
was..
came to my window in the middle of the night and said he needed to see
me.
He came in the window but he was not by himself, he had brought a
friend..they were both drunk..my boyfriend climbed on top of me and
said
they were going to have their way with me..I kept saying no but they
were
drunk and don't know if they even heard me, I'm sure they did, but
anyway,
they both raped me..I could have screamed and mom and dad would have
woke up
and helped me but because of what I had been taught, I didn't do a
thing..My
parents don't even know about the rape at all, even today they don't
know..I
just figured out recently that it was not my fault..Boy was that a load
off
my shoulders..all these years I thought it was my fault..I am still
trying
to heal from this.
I finally told my mom about my brother when I was 21 years old..she
kept
pushing to get with my brother, he is the only one I have etc..I got so
tired of hearing it that I just burst out in the middle of Kmart and
told
her..we left very quickly, went home, talked for a bit and they talked
to my
stepsisters, then him, told him it was wrong and that was it...they
offered
us girls counsling but at the time we thought we had it whipped. Now I
wish
I had gone..
Anyway, that was the end of that. No one ever talked about it
again..talk
about denial. Mom still says I should start talking to him and be
brother
and sister again..when I bring it up she changes the subject
again..like it
never happened..I don't know what she thinks..
What I do know, is that I have gotten on with my life, it is my turn to
be
happy and it is your turn too..please, your first step is to talk to
someone
you can trust. I've been through alot in my life and if you want to
talk to
me about anything, anything at all, I will sure listen and do the best
I can
to help you get through your rough times. Life is so hard sometimes and
if
you could just talk things out,I promise you will feel a little
better.We
will survive, I am a survivor, you can be too. So, Please, if you
would
like someone to talk to, e-mail me at:
heykell@excite.com
Thank you and Take Care.......Kelly
heykell@excite.com
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