Coffee and Cigarettes

I’m not sure when the idea sprouted in my mind; all I know is, once it was there, it was impossible to ignore. Maybe I was just lonely, looking for companionship; or maybe I was sick of my teammates always getting all the action. Whatever the reason, one day I woke up with my mind set on seducing Schuldig.

Why him? I wondered to myself, staring into the mirror as I brushed my teeth. We would make such a weird couple, the little dark-haired Japanese boy and the tall German redhead. Besides, we were so far apart in age, it would be illegal.

The thought made me smirk. Like killing people wasn’t illegal. Compared to what Schwarz did on a daily basis, statutory rape was like child’s play. And Schu probably had experience with it, anyway. When it came to sex, there was probably nothing he hadn’t done.

Which was another way we were complete opposites, I realized, scrubbing my face until the skin turned pink. I had no experience in that field. Hell, Schu should be the one coming on to me. I was surprised he hadn’t already, in all the time we’d been working together.

But then, he belonged to Crawford, I reminded myself. Yet another reason why it’d be just stupid to pursue him. So why exactly was I doing this?

I searched for an answer and found none. It was almost instinctive. I had to breathe, I had to eat, I had to try to get Schuldig in bed. I shrugged and started down the hallway. It’s pointless to mess with fate.

When I saw him, I nearly lost my nerve. Yep, he was definitely attractive, although that wasn’t really what this was about. It was more of a need for power, for the thrill of the hunt, but all the same I felt a little shiver as his cool blue eyes surmised me.

"Morning, kid," he said, sipping at the cup of coffee in his hand. "Kid". The flippant greeting irritated me, as it always did, and I became more determined than ever to show him that I was more than just "kid".

Moving smoothly, I positioned myself behind him, nestling my body against his. I smiled when I felt him tense up, and reached to play with the ends of his orange-red locks, making sure my fingers tickled his back slightly.

"Nagi, what the hell--" Schu muttered, starting to move away, but I quickly wound my other arm around his waist. Damn, he needs to eat something, I thought briefly, noticing how easily my arms encircled him. I let my fingers wander lightly down his back, stroking gently.

He spun around then, catching my arm before I had a chance to react. "Alright, kid, what the hell do you think you’re doing?" He was trying to sound angry, but the words came out more confused than anything. "What, did you get into Brad’s Viagra or something?"

I paused. "Brad’s on Viagra?"

"No, but it would explain a lot...." Schu smirked, seeming to think it over. I was briefly disgusted, then remembered my task and pressed on.

"What does it look like I’m doing?" I asked, giving him what I hoped was a sexy come-hither smile. I was guessing it didn’t work, since he looked more like he was about to laugh than driven crazy with lust.

"Why, it looks like you’re trying to seduce me!" An idiot would have caught the mocking tone in his voice. Ouch. Low blow, but it would take more than that to beat me.

"It looks to me like you’re not cooperating," I responded, moving closer, mentally congratulating myself on how damn smooth I sounded. "Don’t make me have to force you..." I lowered my head and looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, sliding my arms around his waist again, this time from the front. From there, I let my hands wander, going as far as I dared to. Damn. I had never done anything like this before, and I was really starting to get into it.

Then I realized Schu was laughing. Hysterically. Almost to the point of tears running down his cheeks. "Thanks Nagi," he managed to choke out between giggles. "I needed a good laugh..."

Sighing in irritation, I left the room. Why did he have to be so damn difficult? All he had to do was let me seduce him and everything would be fine.

Oh well. Minor setback. I still had the rest of the day to pursue him, and the next day if necessary, and the day after that. Nagi Naoe is not a quitter.

* * * * *

"You just don’t give up, do you, kid?" Schu grinned down at me. I was pressed against him, again, doing everything I possibly could to get him to respond. That is, respond in some way that didn’t involve laughter or sarcastic comments, which was all I had managed to get from him thus far.

It was getting discouraging. What kind of failure was I at this if I couldn’ t even get a former whore into bed?

"I admire your perseverence," Schu continued, still wearing that insufferable grin. "I suppose I should give you something for your troubles, shouldn’t I?"

"I don’t want your char--" I found my words abruptly cut off. He kissed me, hard. He tasted strange, rough, like coffee and cigarettes and something else that was purely his. Our tongues sparred for a moment or two, then he pulled away just as quickly as he had come.

"You’re not half bad," he said reflectively, rubbing his lips slightly. "Tell you what, kid. Come talk to me when you’re eighteen." Smirking, he walked away.

I stood frozen for a moment, still a little bit in shock, then hurried to find a calendar.

Two years, six months, and eighteen days to go.....

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