Harusame: Part One

Nagi looked across the table. Empty. The chair was empty.

Nagi sighed. That's the way it always was, wasn't it? Why did he expect it to be different now? He turned his head and looked outside the cafe window. Sad blue eyes only met with the dark rolling clouds. The window was pounded with continuous sheets of rain, that ran in heavy rivulets past the sad boy's reflection.

What a terrible day, Nagi thought to himself. And yet ... I've become so used to days like this. They always seem to match my mood ...

The boy continued to watch the outside world, oblivious to the expensive cafe around him. He paid no attention to the people who looked curiously at him, a sad young boy sitting all on his own, his coffee barely touched. He knew what they thought of him; one of those love-struck high school boys that inevitably gotten his heart broken. Well at least they're half right, Nagi thought bitterly.

He heard two of the cafe's staff talking near the entrance. "... Where are those flowers we ordered? They're late ..," one of them said. The other shook it off. "Don't worry, they're probably held up by the rain. Look how hard it's pouring ..!"

Nagi tuned out the rest of the conversation. It was never anything he wanted to hear. He sat in quiet contemplation, not really focusing on anything, until a commotion outside caught his eye.

Through the hazy view of the rain-covered window, Nagi saw someone struggling with boxes just out front the cafe. The person had a sweatshirt over their head, the only thing protecting them from the downpour. He watched as they dragged two large cardboard boxes off a little cart, then haphazardly ran toward the cafe entrance. The boxes were so large that Nagi could barely get a glimpse of the person behind them. Just two little legs and sneakers running on the wet pavement. It was a terribly funny image, and a ghost of a smile made it's way onto Nagi's lips, but not enough to change his awful mood.

Nagi waited as he heard the entrance to the cafe open. One of the women from earlier saw and rushed forward, but hesitated to come too close to the enormous boxes. "Ohh, you came! Oh my, you're soaking wet! Let me help you with those," she said.

Nagi heard a sweet voice chime in response. A boy, Nagi thought. And a young one at that.

"Aah, it's okay! I think I got it ... whup ..whoa!!"

Nagi heard the boxes hitting first the doorway, then each other, before seeing them fly out of the boy's hands as he tripped and fell at the woman's feet. She let out a startled shriek and covered her mouth with her hands as she looked at the boy on the floor. "Are ..are you okay?" she asked, kneeling forward, out of Nagi's view.

That just about did it. Nagi gave into the feeling in his gut ... and laughed. Not one of those laughs that he used as a member of Shwartz. Not a laugh that he forced through his lips to make Toto happy. No, this was the first real laugh he had felt in a long, long time.

The boy on the ground struggled to his feet with the help of the woman. He still had a sweatshirt on his head, and Nagi fond himself wishing that he'd take it off already. He wanted to see his face. The woman sighed deeply with relief and fanned her chest in a worried gesture. "Honey, you scared the living daylights out of me!"

The boy laughed. It sounded really sweet to Nagi. He'd never heard one quite like it before. So ... innocent. The boy finally pulled the sweatshirt off his head, and Nagi held his breath. A shock of honey-blond hair, glistening with rain, and bright blue eyes were the vision beneath.

Nagi's breath abruptly stopped. It was him. The boy from Weiss. One of the greatest enemies he had ever known.

Tsukiyono Omi.

Oblivious to Nagi's distress, Omi and the woman reached down to check the boxes. "Still in one shape," Omi said in that same cheerful voice before lifting the box up. "Where shall I put them?"

"Just put them over here. That's good. Thanks so much for delivering them. I can't believe you came in all this rain ...!"

Omi shook his head, smiling. "It was no problem. Same order in two weeks?" The woman shook her head, "No, I was thinking we'd change them around. For the spring season, you know?"

"That's fine," Omi beamed. "Just call us and let us know. Talk to you soon!"

Omi turned to leave the cafe, stopping at the entrance to prepare for the rain again. Nagi was frozen in his seat. What should he do, or, should he do nothing at all? Shwartz did not exist anymore, and neither did Weiss. Was there any need for him to be hostile towards Tsukiyono?

Before he could decide, there was a sudden crash next to him. A waiter had dropped a cup just next to his chair. The waiter apologized profusely, but Nagi only stared at him silently with wide, midnight eyes. When he turned away from the waiter, he realized what a commotion the waiter had created. He gasped, turning his eyes toward the entrance.

Two brilliant blue eyes stared back at him. Nagi didn't know what to do. They stared at each other, both with the same shocked, nervous expression as the other. The waiter had finished cleaning up the broken glass, and still neither made a move.

Finally, Omi found the will to do something. He took a few cautious steps in Nagi's direction, his widened blue eyes never leaving the other. When he was close enough to Nagi's table, he asked, "What are you doing here?!" His voice was shaky, not the same melodious sounds Nagi had heard only moments before. It unnerved him. This sounded much more familiar, more like the Bombay he remembered from all those times before.

Omi's sudden question brought attention from the people around them. The two boys got curious looks from the other people in the cafe. Nagi's throat felt dry as he forced words out of his mouth.

"Sit down," he said, half whispering. "You're making a scene."

Omi looked long and hard at the former Shwartz member, not wanting to trust the boy. He took another look at the people staring, weighed his options, and finally took a seat across from Nagi. He looked so nervous sitting there that Nagi quickly thought of something else to say. "I didn't expect to see you here of all people," he said. His voice sounded much more calm than he felt, and for that he was grateful. Nagi was never the one to lose control, even in front of Weiss.

"I could say the same for you," Omi replied. "What are you doing here?" he asked again.

There's that voice again, Nagi thought. It was Bombay's voice, the one used by the intelligence leader of Weiss, the assassin's voice. It was so different from the carefree voice of Tsukiyono Omi. Nagi found himself wondering which one was the real one.

"I came ... to meet someone," Nagi replied. Both boys were a little shocked by the honesty. Nagi nearly cursed himself. Why did I say that? I could have chosen anything, and I told the truth. He looked up into Omi's lurid blue eyes. They were so piercing, so knowing. He knew at once why he hadn't lied. It was as if Omi's eyes could see right through any attempt to hide the truth.

"Then you aren't doing something ... for Shwartz?" Omi asked. The voice had changed a little, but Nagi heard the suspicion in it, the questioning. He knew Omi was hinting that Nagi had been there knowing Omi would arrive.

Nagi shook his head, his midnight eyes betraying more emotion than he wanted. "Shwartz has disbanded. I don't do that anymore ..," he said quietly. Nagi turned and looked out the window. He didn't want to sound weak in front of this Weiss member. Although, he wondered to himself, there was always something about myself that I saw in Omi ...

Omi's eyes immediately softened. They sat in silence for a moment. Then Nagi spoke again, so low that Omi had almost missed it. "What about you? ... And Weiss?"

Omi gave a small smile. "No .. there's no Weiss either." Nagi turned to look at him once again, and Omi looked a little relieved. "We still work together though, at the Koneko. Well, for now at least. You can just tell that Youji's getting antsy, and Aya .. well, Aya is being Aya of course."

Nagi saw that wistful smile on Omi's face, and wondered what it was like being a Weiss member. The way Omi spoke of them, it seemed they were a close-knit bunch. Nagi couldn't even imagine someone being "close-knit" with the cold, calculating red-head named Fujimiya. And Shwartz ... Shwartz was always so ... constricting. He had never considered himself being friends with any of the other members, and he didn't give a second thought to leaving his teammates once Shwartz had fallen apart. He wondered now how it would have been to be a part of something like Weiss. Well, if you want to find out, it's now or never Naoe, he thought to himself.

"What ... What's it like?"

"What do you mean?"

Nagi bit his lip. "What's it like ... to be part of something like that?"

Omi was shocked by the honest curiosity in Nagi's voice. When he spoke this way, with those deep, soulful eyes boring into Omi, Omi found the need to be truthful with his former enemy. Nagi sounded so painfully young, and it tore at Omi's heart. Had the boy never known companionship? Omi had always blamed Weiss for the lack of normalcy in his life, but just hearing that question from Nagi made him rethink his situation. Perhaps he had been lucky enough to have Weiss. Had Shwartz been half as nice to Nagi as Omi's teammates were to him?

"It's ... nice .. I suppose. Well, for what the job was, anyway. They helped me through some rough times. I'm glad we're all friends, especially now, with everything back to normal ..." Omi said, trailing off at the end. He found himself sounding rather cheerful for Nagi's benefit. Nagi noticed the change. He decided that this was what the real Tsukiyono sounded like. He was glad that Omi was being real with him.

Nagi's control seemed to slip right through his fingers. He felt compelled to tell the other boy the pain he felt. Omi would understand. They were so alike, weren't they? Both so young and forced into something so inequitable. Nagi suddenly felt a thousand years old. Without so much a thought, he continued speaking in a low voice.

"I .. I've never really had friends. This is the first time my life has been ... normal."

Nagi looked up cautiously to see how his words affected the other boy. Omi's jaw had dropped a little, his blue eyes wide in their surprise. Such a strange color, he thought, focusing on the glimmering orbs, anything to take his mind away from his own turbulent emotions.

"Shouldn't you be happy then?" Omi asked. He smiled a little at Nagi. He was somehow hoping to cheer the other boy up. Nagi had always appeared distressed; even from the other side of a battle, Omi had noticed as much. Now that they were free of all that, Omi felt that Nagi deserved to be happy ... didn't he? Omi felt that same familiar ache from times long past. This is the first time my life has been ... normal. Me too Nagi, he thought. Me too.

"I guess I should, but," Nagi paused.

"But you're not," Omi said, finishing his sentence. Nagi nodded. How does he know me so well?

Omi shifted on the seat for a moment, then cleared his throat nervously. "Um .. I know it's not my place to ask and all, but ..."

"Why?" Nagi said plainly. Omi nodded.

Nagi sighed. He looked away from Omi, back to the rain covered window pane. He felt he couldn't confess so much if he kept looking into those eyes.

"I ... I tried to .. have a normal life. I was hoping to start it with someone ... even the other guys, Shuldich, Crawford, Farfarello ... they .. they found someone to start over with. I made a decision. I asked her to meet me at this cafe if she wanted the same thing. She," he paused for a minute, briefly closing his eyes before they fluttered open again to see his reflection in the glass. "She never showed. Guess it wasn't meant to be."

He was almost afraid to turn back, afraid that the chair would be empty again, that even Omi would leave him to sit alone. When he turned, he saw instead those incredible blue eyes, the ones that seemed to know him so well, staring back at him. "I'm sorry," Omi said, his voice quiet, as if not to shatter the fragile silence. "It's alright," Nagi replied. "It's better that I knew before ... before ..."

He couldn't even think of what. He didn't want to say before I fell in love, because he wasn't entirely sure that he hadn't. It had certainly hurt enough to be love, hadn't it? The terrible rejection ... he couldn't imagine anything hurting more.

Omi just nodded. Brief twinges of pain passed through him before he told himself not to think of the past. The past was gone. There was nothing left to do but live, now.

"It'll pass," Omi said reassuringly. "You'll find someone that loves you more than that."

Nagi laughed. It was touched with sadness, but it was a laugh nonetheless. Omi found himself smiling with Nagi. "What's so funny!" he said in mock anger.

Nagi clutched his chest, the laughter uncontrollable. "I just ... can't believe ... I'm sitting here ... taking love advice ... from a Weiss member!" With that, the boy burst into another peal of laughter.

Omi laughed too. It was rather ridiculous, the two of them sitting in a cafe, feeling sorry for themselves. He looked now to the boy before him, so young and so full of pain. He looked so different when he laughed. Something in Omi settled on seeing that smile again, without all that pain behind it.

"Yeah .. doesn't make any sense does it? The two of us I mean, here laughing at ourselves," Omi said, chuckling. Nagi's laughter subsided, and he wiped the tears from his eyes. That smile remained though, still sad and filled with bitter memories, but a smile still the same. Omi felt a rush of emotion inside of him. "You should smile more often," he blurted out. The smile dropped from Nagi's face. "Huh?"

"Your smile ... it's nice. You should smile more often." Omi said, not thinking twice.

Nagi blushed. No one had ever said that to him before. He confessed to himself that he hadn't smiled much in his life ... not even for Toto. "I would ... I just need more things to smile about, I guess," Nagi said hesitantly. He looked to Omi, and saw the other boy blush just as he had.

Why does that make me blush? Omi thought to himself. He fidgeted, looking around the cafe awkwardly. His eyes fell unconsciously on his arm, laid out on the table before him. His watch stared back at him accusingly. "Oh god! I forgot all about the deliveries!" he said suddenly. He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. The soaking wet page clung together, and Nagi looked at it curiously. It was some kind of list, with times next to it. A rather short list, Nagi noted.

"Hmm, well, I only have one more delivery to make," Omi said, more to himself than to Nagi. He looked at his watch again, his tongue sticking out as he thought. Nagi found it kind of cute. "It's only a few blocks from here ... guess I won't be too late."

Omi was about to get up when he heard Nagi say, "Uhm!" to get his attention. He looked over at the other boy, his eyes wide.

Nagi took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was asking this, but ...

"Would it .. be okay .. if I went with you?"

Omi was stunned into silence. Nagi bit his lip again, waiting nervously to be rejected. His face visibly fell when Omi hadn't answered after a long moment, and he looked away.

"But you'll get soaked."

Nagi looked back at Omi. "Huh?"

Omi chuckled a little. "You're all nice and dry. Do you really want to go with me? I mean, I'm already dripping wet, so ..."

Nagi couldn't believe his own ears. He smiled nervously. "I - I don't mind. I've got to leave here sometime today."

Omi smiled. "Alright. As long as you don't mind, I could use the company. Let's go!"

Nagi breathed a sigh of relief. He needed this so much. There was something about Omi that made him want to be near him, a warmth that he clung to desperately after his devastating rejection. Omi was being kind to him, and he hadn't known kindness in such a long time ...

He saw Omi standing, waiting for him, a smile on his face.

I think ... I need you ... Tsukiyono Omi.



******************************************************

They walked along in amicable silence. The rain had let up just a little, but it still fell in light sheets, drenching their clothes and sliding over their skin. Neither boy seemed to care.

Nagi pushed the dark locks away from his face. They were getting in the way of his view. His eyes slowly slid over to the other boy, watching him secretly as they made their way down the street. Omi was walking his bike along the pavement, his golden locks clinging to his cheeks, flushed pink from the cool rain hitting them. Nagi found himself flushed as well. Damn, he looks really ... really cute, he thought to himself. He was almost embarrassed by the thought, but, everyone thought that about Tsukiyono Omi, didn't they? He even remembered Shuldich saying it once, as they looked over the files detailing the Weiss assassins. What had Shuldich said? Too damn cute for his own good. Yes, that was it. Remembering brought back so many memories. Shuldich had even called him cute once, although in quite a different manner. He recalled the face Shuldich had at that moment, the sarcastic smile, the twitch in one eyebrow. You may look cute, Nagi Naoe, but I know what a sadistic bastard you really are.

Nagi laughed out loud. Shuldich had never messed around with his computer after that.

Omi heard the laugh and looked to Nagi. He's smiling again, he thought. "What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.

Nagi looked a little startled when he turned to Omi. "Oh, just ... remembering something funny." He was silent for a moment. "I guess ... Shwartz wasn't all that bad. We had some good times too."

Omi smiled. "I'm glad."

Nagi looked away, embarrassed. He hoped Omi hadn't noticed the blush. What would he think if I told him he was cute?

Omi stopped walking and pointed to another store on the street. It was a restaurant, a very classy one at that. Omi unloaded the last box of flowers from the bike. He turned to Nagi only to find the boy staring into the glass windows of the restaurant, his expression unreadable. He was about to ask the other boy what was wrong, when he spotted a familiar figure. He nearly panicked, but quickly calmed himself. He shook his head, looking over at Nagi once more.

"Ahem," Omi coughed, catching Nagi's attention. The other boy jumped, turning back to him. "Eh .. Omi ..."

Omi held a finger up to Nagi's lips, quickly silencing him. Nagi flushed, and Omi took the finger away. He looked innocently at the box of flowers, then back at Nagi.

"Wanna do this delivery for me?"

Nagi's jaw dropped. He was rendered speechless by the other boy's insight. He nodded slowly. "Yeah ... yeah, thanks." Nagi took the box carefully and made his way into the restaurant.

****************************************************

Nagi quietly walked toward the figure in the restaurant. He sat alone, a newspaper held up with one hand as he sipped slowly from a cup of coffee with the other. He wore a crisp business suit, just like old times, but this one was a more sedate color, a dusty gray that matched the weather outside.

Nagi rubbed his hands on his pants, not really knowing what to do with them. He came close enough to the other man to speak, but said nothing. He knew he didn't need to.

"Good to see you again, Nagi. You look well," came the polite baritone. Nagi nodded, still drawing a blank as to what to say.

Brad Crawford turned in his seat, smiling at the younger boy. "Why don't you have a seat? Just for a moment. It really is a pleasure to see you. You're in good health, I assume?"

Nagi took the seat across from Crawford, his hands folding on the table before him. His eyes were caught there for a moment. A steaming cup of hot chocolate was waiting there for him. He looked up at Crawford, curious. He knew he shouldn't be surprised, but he still found it odd.

Crawford gave him a little smile, pushing up the frames of his glasses with his forefinger. "I know you won't finish it, with your friend waiting outside and all. Just thought you might like a taste. The cocoa here is delicious."

Nagi curled his hands around the steaming cup, the warmth welcome on his cold fingers. He took a tentative sip, then put the cup down. It really was delicious. His hands still held onto the heated porcelain. "So ... what are you doing with yourself now?" he asked Crawford.

The other man folded his newspaper and put it down on the table. "Working the corporate world, I'm afraid. I've found my talents rather useful on the stock market. It will be a rather ... comfortable living for someone like me," he said, amused. "And what about you, Nagi?"

"I start college in the fall," Nagi replied. "I suppose I look forward to it," he stated coolly. Crawford nodded. "I'm sure it will suit you. You were always much too advanced for your age, but college will give you a chance to breath. And what are you doing until then? Have you gotten yourself a job?"

Nagi shook his head.

Crawford chuckled. "Well, the apartment's all paid for, but you still need to eat, Nagi. How is the apartment, by the way? Does it suit your tastes?"

Nagi thought now on his apartment. It had been a 'gift' from Shwartz, really. Something to start off from, Crawford had told him on that day so long ago. The apartment had been one of Shwartz's old hideouts, rarely used, but very nice indeed.

"It's a bit big for only me," Nagi answered truthfully. He hadn't yet found uses for all the rooms and some still completely bare of furniture.

"Perhaps it wouldn't seem so small if you found yourself a roommate," Crawford said, watching Nagi's face carefully. Nagi thought for a second. His eyes drifted to the street outside the restaurant window.

"Well, I don't mean to keep you," Crawford said meaningfully. "Your friend is waiting for you. Here is my number and street address," he said, handing Nagi a neatly folded paper in a small plastic envelope. Nagi smirked at him. The bastard knew it would be raining. Crawford smiled knowingly. "Don't be afraid to call, Nagi." His eyes softened just a little as he said those words. It struck a cord in Nagi. He was so grateful that Crawford would care so much. He held the envelope to him, nodding, then quickly made his way back outside.

Crawford watched through the window as Nagi ran up to the Weiss boy and gestured briefly with his hands. The other boy smiled and shook his head. As they walked off together, Crawford smiled to himself. He was truly happy for Nagi. They would be good for one another. "There's hope for you yet, Naoe ..."

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