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Zen and the feline art of raising children:
by Dylan
Tips and trick of handling a newborn infant while being single parent and possibly a working parent as well.. If your child has special needs or is ill consult with a competent doctor.
While sharing my life and apartment with my animal companion Tehanu, feline mother of 8 litters, I was fortunate enough to learn some things about raising children. When I later had my own kid,
remembering how she managed to handle a bunch of 5-6 lively kittens proved to be an indispensable help.
PS: it’s not only cats who do it like that. Most of the described ideas are common practice in asian countries. These countries have also a very low rate of sudden infant death syndrome.
1. Don't worry too much about conflicting theories. Tehanu never read a book and I just can't imagine her prodding over "self-image questions" and how to bring the identity of a happy, active assertive cat
with motherhood in some alignment. Cat's don't read about Zen either, they practice it from moment to moment.
2. This leads to the next tip: Just simply respond to your kids need, when they arise. If they are hungry feed them, if the diaper is full, just change it, if they are tired, let them sleep. If you need to transport them:
Simply do it. Just don't make a problem out of it, and your kid won't have a problem. Kids are extremely sensitive to the parent's emotions.
They might cry if you merely feel uncomfortable.
3. Babies sleep better on a sheep skin. Washable (medical) sheep furs are available and also used in hospitals. The sheep skin will also serve as a natural border between you and the baby. You won't (if your weight is normal) roll over it anyway but it serves to erasure you.
4. If a child is older give him his own futon next to yours. No need to be kicked awake by a two year old every night. A newborn will be happier in your bed though.
5. To handle tasks when they arise be around your kid as much as possible, especially at night. It's easier.
So sleep with them in one bed. Ever heard cat's crying at night? No, the litter doesn't do it.
Only kitten's separated from the litter will whine. Human babies are similar. You will sense once they wake up, and breastfeed in the first months before they start to cry. Afterwards your baby will fall fast asleep (after you change the diaper)
Sleep on the ground, or change the diaper in the bed or next to it, so you needn't carry around your kid for this. Tatami/Futons make an excellent floor/bedding combination.
If you bottle-feed keep put the powder in it in the evening and one thermoscan of hot water plus a bottle with sterilized cold water next to it next to the bed. Mix powder with water once the baby stirs, then quickly add the cold water for the right temperature. If you are fast your baby will not start to cry before you're finished.
6. Adapt the kid to your waking cycle, so let it sleep late and it will wake late instead at 5 a.m. . You have to be awake at work. Plus it will see you and have a chance to interact with you in the evening. It can always sleep during daycare. No caregiver or baby-sitter minds that.
7. Give it as much milk as it wants. Cat's and humans milk is produced to meet the needs of your baby and if you are healthy it's in sufficient quantities. Hungry babies cry.
8. You can leave an infant which is small enough not to move around alone in the house for some minutes. Tehanu also went into the garden.
For longer periods hire a baby-sitter though. Babies don't actually care who is with them, they are just afraid of being alone. They will become picky later, but at this age appreciate anybody nice.
9. Take your kid with you where ever you go. Cat's don't do this, but their kids start walking earlier. Also they have siblings to cuddle with, your newborn most likely won't.
Carrying your baby on your body will help it to become a person who feels secure and self-confident.
It will also speed up and intensify it's intellectual development. Small babies need a cloth to be carried in, toddlers may ride on your shoulder.
10. Babies need sleep. They can sleep while carried though, and everywhere they feel comfortable.
It's nothing wrong with a baby falling asleep in the middle of the room. Don't wake it up. Similar to small kittens babies need a nap now and then, a well fed, well cared baby with enough sleep will cry less.
Mine almost never cried.
11. Vaccinate your kid against diseases. And check if you yourself have also been inoculated against them. If not remember that handling a small kid, you will be exposed to all kinds of children's diseases, especially if it visits a day-care center. Spend the money on it, what is uncomfortable for a kid is debilitating in the adult version.
11. Children love other kids. It is not true that they appreciate them only after they are older. Toddlers as young as 15 month show lot's of emphatic behavior towards each other. Daycare provides children with their peers. Contrary to your cat's your litter mostly consists of only one small one.
At first some prodding showing, groping and poking into the face is normal. Simply demonstrate that it's much more fun to pet.
12. If things (even meals) are on the floor they can't fall down or being pulled down. The same goes for babies, toys and everything else. Applying this simple rule of gravity can save you many worries. Still make your apartment child-proof (cover electrical outlets, make sure she cannot delete your harddisk, put sharp knifes away) is important.
13. Most daycare canters, schools, clubs will never want to see your birth certificate and simply assume that you are the father. In this time divorces are so common, nobody will blink and eye if you cannot produce your child's "mother".
14. Set limits. No cat will tolerate obnoxious behaviour like to may attacks from a half-grown litter. Still remember how patient a cat is until the kitten is pushed away or punished. Never hurt your kid.
15. Keep you baby clean. Cat's lick them dry with a warm tongue. Use a warm wet towel. You can take your baby with you into the adult size bathtub (mind the correct temperature) the body contact will ease your baby and you can enjoy the time together and save the expense of a baby bathtub.
16. Children watch people's interaction to determine gender. They do not rely on genitalia. Don't be shy.
Don't spoil their natural innocent comfort with their body by showing disgust when you see them naked.
Use common sense. Be patient. devellop a sense of wonder. Small miracles happen every day.
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