Noticed that Zoey, our gorgeous 7 year old Maine Coon, has started chewing, licking, and knotting her fur in tiny, tight mats and is creating bald spots. There are also large amounts of her fur around the house. Dr. C believes she is having an allergic reaction, and gives her an injection of Depo Medrol ( 20mg) and sends her home with 5mg Prednisolone pills. He also recommends bathing 2x week with relief shampoo.

Zoey seems to be losing weight and is acting a bit lethargic. She also continues to lick, especially in her vaginal area, and seems to be working her tongue oddly. Since her housemate, Molly, died in September of FIP, have decided to run complete bloodwork. Dr. C found a small mass next to her tongue on the right side of her mouth – wants to keep her overnight and watch how she licks and works that tongue. Began Clavamox drops to combat any possible infection.

Zoey home with Clavamox drops. Tests reveal mostly normal values, except very depressed white blood cell count – 3.1 ( not sure normal value – just know this is VERY low). Zoey seems to improve over the next few days, licking has stopped.

She again looks to be losing weight, and now has begun to drool. Will watch for a couple of days.

Back to Dr. C. Have decided to rerun bloodwork to see if there are changes. Test the same, except white blood count up slightly to 3.5. More Clavamox to give at home and Hill’s Prescription Diet A/D ( anorexic diet) to stimulate her appetite. She ate this for about one day before deciding to try the hard food she has always loved. Force fed the A/D by placing on roof of mouth. The next few days she then managed to get a satisfactory amount of hard food down per day.

Noticed that Zoey seems to get lethargic and slower after giving Clavamox – call the vet and get him to change to Zeniquin pills, another antibiotic. Zoey still in good spirits and active; played with her "bird" and chased a paper ball like usual.

Have been on trip in Colorado, during which pet sitter came 1x per day to administer meds and spend 1 hour – also, have house sitter for duration of trip who lives in the house while we are gone. Both pet sitter and housesitter report daily that Zoey seems to be holding her own and eating fine. Occasional light drooling, but it comes and goes. Today get phone call from housekeeper who arrives to find Zoey drooling profusely, so she takes it upon herself to rush her to the vet. Dr. C’s associate sees her, and when housesitter arrives to pick her up, mentions biopsy and eosinophilic granuloma. I make an appointment for the next day, as I will be returning from Colorado this evening. Upon my arrival, I get on the internet and look up eosinophilic granuloma, and find that many of the symptoms Zoey has been exhibiting match those for this disease almost perfectly. I also find an article on eosinophilic granuloma in Catnip, a publication available by subscription from Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine. Have we found our answer? Upon return from Colorado, I find that Zoey has a HUGE, softball size mat ( despite daily brushing by both petsitter and housesitter), several bald, scabby spots, and is now having trouble eating her hard food. Run to the store to get canned food – 9 Lives Gourmet Tuna in Broth – and she eats it quite well.

Visit with Dr. C. Mass under her tongue is much larger. Dr. C agrees that these masses of this kind can look like cancer but still be eosinophilic granuloma, and only a biopsy can provide definitive answer. When asked about biopsy, he says he is reticent to perform one, since the mass is alongside the tongue, which is a highly vascular spot and could bleed profusely. We decide to follow the protocol for treating granuloma complex, which is 3-20mg shots of Depo Medrol, a steroid, at 2 week intervals. Also begin Amoxicillin pills- 50mg – to offset opportunistic infections while on the steroid. We see marked improvement in her energy, she begins to eat more regularly. On the days her appetite seems to wane, I try dry kitten food (smaller morsels) and canned food, which she eats quite well. Very active and alert.

Zoey’s appetite is not good today. She is mostly sitting and sleeping, and there is a bad smell from her mouth. The following day she is drooly again, though eating hard food pretty well. Get new Rx from Dr. C to change back to Zeniquin antibiotic. Dr. C plans to alternate antibiotics to assist her immune system and vary the effect on different bacteria.

Zoey’s second shot of 20mg Depo Medrol. Her weight is holding steady at 9.15, which is down from her healthy weight of 12 lbs. Dr. C says mass in mouth is greatly improved, and he’s hopeful we’ve found our solution.

Zoey is drooling A LOT today. She is still eating, but seems very slow and lethargic. The next day she seems better – her chin is dry in the morning and she’s eaten quite a bit. Drooling again in pm. Notice all her bald spots don’t look irritated, but it seems her fur is not really growing back. Decide on Jan 27 to discontinue Zeniquin, as it seems to be making her sick.

3^rd shot of Depo Medrol 20mg. Her weight is up to 10.1. Dr. C finds new mass, now under the front of her tongue. Biopsy is again discussed, as this location is more conducive to biopsy and less prone to bleed. Introduce Hill’s Z/D ( allergy food), as my internet searches suggest that some of these problems can be caused by food allergies. Zoey chooses this food over the other that I still have out for my other cat, Sophie. Next day drooling seems less and Zoey is more active than she’s been.

The time has come for a definitive answer – we will do the biopsy. Zoey will have to stay overnight. Dr. C also decides to do bloodwork and a chest xray, in case this is cancer and has metastasized. Upon her return home the next day, Zoey eats well on various canned foods. She doesn’t seem to have much residual pain from the procedure, so the painkiller she was given, Torbutrol (1mg) seems to be working. Like Snoop’s experience, I had to vary foods a bit, but always found one that she would eat. Also added Missing Link Powder to the canned food to boost nutrition. Zoey is in great spirits and up and around – still wants to be wherever we are.

Hard to believe and hard to hear – and ironically, Zoey is more active and alert than she’s been in a long time. She’s still eating canned food pretty well, but has started licking her vaginal area again. Have decided to continue giving Torbutrol, a painkiller she got after the biopsy. It seems to help her mouth. For the next few days, Zoey seems to feel great, despite lots of drooling and difficulty eating. What a trooper!

It is at this time that I find Dan’s site about Snoop’s struggle, and I devour all the links and stories, looking for solace and understanding of how it will go and how I can help my dear Zoey. And I guess most of all, I want to know how I will know it’s time to end her suffering. The links led me to some good pet loss sites, and I ordered a book called "Blessing the Bridge" written by Rita Reynolds, that had lots of very comforting and spiritual information in it. Ms. Reynolds is obviously very well versed in Eastern thought, so some of the concepts were a bit advanced for me, but much of what she wrote brought me a lot of peace.

Because Dr. C doesn’t have any information that shows chemotherapy to have much effect, and because Dan had said that the treatments sometimes made Snoop slow down, we decided against putting Zoey through the visits necessary for treatment. I could not find any information myself that convinced me that it would be useful for us to try chemotherapy. And, having waited so long to do the biopsy in the first place, it seemed likely that her condition was too advanced to benefit from the treatments. We decided to make her as comfortable as possible with as little stress to her as possible.

Zoey won’t eat on her own anymore. I have tried canned food, pureed in a mini food processor, and many different types. She seems very interested when the can is opened, but throws her head around trying to get the food down, and can’t seem to get it down. She even sits by the bowl of hard food many times and just looks, as if she’s hungry but just can’t face the pain. I begin feeding A/D with a syringe, shooting for the 12 syringe-fuls that Dan suggests on his site, usually only 3 or 4 at a sitting. She does fine with this and doesn’t struggle. Zoey still drinks from the bathroom faucet, as she always did, though seems to have a little trouble these days. She drools continuously now, but is still very bright eyed and active – while her mouth seems bad, her spirit is still strong, and it’s just not time to consider anything drastic for her yet. I’m happy to feed her body as long as her soul wants to be here with us.

Zoey’s mouth is bloody this morning - it stopped by 7am. We’re not terribly alarmed, as Snoop’s journal warned us this could happen. Her activity level is unchanged – we even went outside in the lovely Texas false spring weather for her to explore her beloved backyard. Feeding is going fine – I’m getting 8-12 syringefuls of AD down every day. I tend to watch her very closely – when she goes to stare at the bowl, I try to give her AD. Poor thing seems hungry and yet knows she can’t do it. I ache for her, yet take every opportunity to hold her and brush her and watch for birds with her, out the windows.

This evening I get an email from a Maine Coon breeder who has contacted a feline vet online about my Zoey, Dr. Susan Little. She recommends piroxicam, which has had some success in shrinking these squamous cell carcinomas. While I know it’s probably too late, I’m still in the bargaining stage of grief, and find out the dosage. Piroxicam is also called feldine in human pharmacies, so my friend the OB/GYN calls a compounding pharmacy to make up a batch of pills in 1mg dosages – the dose for piroxicam is 0.3mg per kg of weight, in cats. This makes 1mg about right for Zoey, who seems to be holding her own at about 9 lbs. We administer the first dose on the 21^st. Piroxicam is very inexpensive – 10-1mg pills was about $4.

We also have started to notice Zoey having a sound rather like snoring when she breathes. Dr. C has said that the mass has gotten so large that it could impede her breathing. She doesn’t seem to struggle too much to breathe, but the sound is noticeable, off and on.

Spirits still great on Friday, declining as the weekend went on. Drooling getting worse, and by Sunday, a sour smell from her mouth. By Sunday, she wanted to stay in bed, but then leapt up at a bird flying by the window. Starting to struggle when feeding on Sunday morning, moaning and crying as she is carried to the where she is fed. Sunday night is a bitter struggle, and we decide not to put her through it. She’s reaching the end of her fight with this. She still doesn’t "den" or hide – this dear soul wants to spend every remaining minute with her people.

After sleeping on it, and having one more night with Zoey warming the bed, we know the time has come. After getting up as usual in the morning, she retreats under the bed when she thinks the feeding time has come. We skip the feeding ordeal and leave the house for ˝ day of work, to return at noon. She greets us upon our return, but now her chin is quivering, as if it is very painful. She looks into my eyes and I know the time has come to help her cross over and out of this struggle. We are so very grateful that this courageous spirit gives us such a clear indication of what she needs and wants from us – this was one of the many blessings she gave us at the end of her journey.

We wrapped her in a soft blue towel, eschewing the hated carrier, and drove to the vet, who had a quiet room waiting. He gave us plenty of time to tell Zoey how much we loved her and where she was going and what was going to happen. It went peacefully and calmly – the vet administered a sedative, allowed it time to work, and the time came to say goodbye.

In closing, I found this verse written by Rita Reynolds in Blessing the Bridge to be a great comfort – it is also an excellent verse to be repeated over and over, as a mantra during the difficult time of euthanasia:

A PRAYER FOR DYING