Now that you have exercised so vigorously it is advisable to warm down, for this i recommend - the leaning for the TV guide stretch.
If you follow these simple steps you will be a world class house sporterer.
NEXT ISSUE
The running of the stairs.
Now there is a challenge. But with the right training, from me, and a bit of confidence, you can do it - with the almighty jesus christ (sarcasm) and me by your side, anything can be acomplished.
1st warm up, I think picking up a cup and bending over to pick up a newspaper
3rd, warm down, the warm down is simply to fall over and roll about on the floor. Now don't you feel better that you've done that.
NEXT ISSUE - LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, So until next time remember, a man is not a camel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Scott
Step One: practise by picking up a piece of cardboard and looking at it remember to say, "OOh yeah baby, you're so sexy."
Step Two: take some really good drugs
Step Three: go to the mirror and duck down
Step Four: jump up and look at yourself, then walk towards the mirror, press yourself up against it, not say ohh baby i want you badly, ohh yeah.
Ohkay, now you're finished. BY NUDO SOCKS
TENT BASICS - Boys have blue tents and girls have pink tents. oh and there are ten tents in a row. OK, if a boy has a mild interest in his own sex, a couple of his tents are pink. if hes half -half, he has five pink and five blue, or ten mauve. It's the same for girlies but the colours are switched around woo woo.
EXAMPLE - I'll use my own tent classification as an example. Alrighty i am a lassie so my tents are pink, but i have a bit of a thing for Xena Warrior Princess, posh spice, Kate Winslet and probably a couple of other people, but my main interest is in pervy boys, so I'd say i probably have seven pink tents and three blue tents.
Isn't that great? Whilst I'm here discussing my sexuality, the other day I was thinking about the sort of boys i like, and i noticed they have quite a few female characteristics, long hair and such. I also have a soft spot for goth boys with makeup and fishnet stockings. now thismay have some deep hidden meaning or something but i don't think so. Wow, don't you all feel enlightened? I think thats it for the tents.
I find this so absurd i cannot express fully the absurdity. How can people live their whole lives based on a few short stories written 2000 years ago? That is so dumb. Also if you are a religious person, you're not allowed to do anything fun. no sex no drugs or rock 'n' roll, omly Amy Grant and DC Talk. Now that is scary. So anyway, i was going to try the praying thing like the mormons said, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. If they come back i am going to show them the Book Of Satan and see how they like that. Once a long time ago, a mormon told us that if we listened to him he'd give us a blender and we listened , but no blender. So don't trust mormons.
The Bong is too tight for my poonani
By Jobie Wan Kenobi
I found you Laura isn't she good enough?
you are so stupid
your sister is so smart
it's late at night i am making my won-ton
i forgot the words to the song
the shazter yells out 'where's my drink?'
something was eating the wall
and then my bongs too big for my poonani
well it should (Jobie become totally confused)
i saw him, WHAT???? the mouse
i only ever hear then u never see them do you think it it a totally sick guy tape?
i have to get my own beverage.
Scott's bum.
you know sometimes it is just nice to write down what you are thinking - even if it isn't funny. right now my bum feels funny. how is my bin? i mean how happy is anyone's bin, as Fergus woudl say, say on a scale of one to a happy bin?
Now when i say i my bum feels funny, i don't mean in that good way. It feels kind of numb - and this makes me aware of my bum. Now i don't think a person should be too aware of their bum.
My god it is hot. What is up with the heat? It isn't summer. I want a cold breeze and a vodka and passionfruit. Is that asking too much?
ok go away now, love from Scott