Updated March
2009
Special Link - Ed Porras' Gainesville Restaurant Listings:
http://www.nosoupforyou.com/
Tom's 6 Simple Rules for a good
restaurant
1. The food shouldn't suck.
2. The staff should
treat me like God.
3. Somebody should know something about what they
serve.
4. No spots on the glasses, utensils or plates.
5. I shouldn't
feel ripped off after I get the check.
6. Food should never resemble vomit.
Plate well and garnish. Would a piece of parsley kill
ya'?
Tom's Top 11 Gainesville
Restaurants
1. Paramount Grill
Chef Clif Nelson has
a magical aptitude for combining flavors. Artfully presented. Gainesville's
best. Nobody can cook a steak like Chef Nelson. Great staff, with the ability
to be pretentious, casual, elegant, or charming depending on your desires and
attitude. The crab cakes are the best in town. Treat yourself!
2. Ti
Amo
Chef Bert Gill makes his mark with a tapas
infused tasting menu. Lovely atmosphere. Cant miss with the lamb. The oxtail
is another tasting treat. The fresh catch of the day for entrees will fail to
disappoint. You'll love it.
3. Manuel's Vintage Room
Boy, howdy!
Did Manuel's Vintage Room come back from the Near Miss list to the top with a
vengeance. Went there last night and had absolutely the best Veal Picatta I
think I've ever had. Manuel was there with his lovely daughter, and his son,
Marco, is now the head chef. And that is the right choice. Family! Folks, the
man and his staff can cook. Adding to the intimate environment is the always
delightful Manuel, food at the top of the game, and the very personal
attentions of the staff who hit all their marks in the service department
without being stuffy or snooty, or conversely, too casual. It was just right.
No. It was awesome. It's what I've been waiting to happen; a restaurant in
Gainesville, Florida that actually goes from good, to great, to better than
great. Let's go over the rules again: 1 - The food shouldn't suck. It doesn't.
It's awesome. 2 - The staff should treat me like God. After that veal, I was
performing miracles. 3 - Somebody should know something about what they serve.
Knowledgeable staff, and the food speaks for itself. 4 - No spots on the
glasses, utensils or plates. Spotless. 5. I shouldn't feel ripped off after I
get the check. Yes, Manuel's Vintage Room is, for Gainesville, a little tough
on the wallet, but for what they're doing, I felt great about my $20 tip on a
$40 meal. 6 - Food should never resemble vomit. Plate well and garnish. I was
eating a work of art. And finally, a master stroke. I heard a plate break
rather loudly in the kitchen. The kitchen staff fellow that broke it leans out
of the service window and announces loudly to the patrons, "That was me. I did
that, and I'm sorry." That's what it's all about. Accept responsibility. If
you're going to break a plate, break the shit out of it and make it a moment
to remember. And then own your mistake! Manuel's vintage room. Go
immediately. Go hungry. Drink and feast, and save room for desert.
Thank
you, Manuel! You rock!
4. Mark's Prime
Verging on perfect. The
steaks here can rival Gibson's in Chicago. Ala-carte and usually worth
the high price. And by high price, I'm talking fucking $40 bucks for an 8oz.
ala carte filet. Jesus Christ. More power to them.
5. Leonardo's
706
Best California thin crust pizza in town!
Go with the specials. The seafood pasta and all the Alfredo dishes are
winners. Watch out for the Pasta Madagascar. Used to be the best dish, but
recent changes have made it a risky choice unless you like food so hot your
mouth will dissolve. Top desserts. The Sunday Brunch is A#1. I recommend to
706 they bring back the pesto & shrimp California pizza.
6. The Top
Artsy. Indie. Punk. Oddly
sophisticated. Attitude. Great choices for vegetarians. Try the pesto gnocci
or the encrusted tofu dish. Keep an eye out for Walter, the wonderfully gay
black asshole behind the bar at night. Want a great night of entertainment?
See if you can get his attention, order your drink and don't make small talk.
Then, sit and watch him work as he slices and dices his way through the
customer bullshit and reads patrons like a drag queen on steroids. It's a
hoot! If you're lucky, he'll throw somebody out of there. I once waited at the
bar for a half hour. It wasn't crowded and I was in plain site with my ten
dollar bill in hand. Couldn't order a fucking thing. Best time I ever had
getting ignored. You know secretly, he's really a nice guy. Then, I went to
the front counter and waited twenty minutes and nobody came. Yet, I'll be back
again and again. Don't fuck with The Top, and don't expect to be somebody
here. Just shut up and if you get something out of there, say thank you and
feel lucky. One more note; they more often than not overfry their "Crabby
Patties" from the late night menu. But the Corn Nuggets are highly
recommend. It's like fried crack. Walter pours a mean drink, if you can get
it.
7. Amelia's
Authentic Italian in a cozy
setting. Great date restaurant. Go with the specials. See if the Chef
will make his special limoncello with dessert. Expanded dessert menu
was a long time coming. Thank you.
8. Satchel's
At the top of the pizza
chain, super-great salads, and a charmingly quirky hippie junk yard
environment.
9. Book Lover's
Cafe
Unique. Dine amongst the books. Excellent
vegetarian choices. You can buy the recipes in a book.
10. Sushi Matsuri
The rice is uniformly
excellent. The fish is fresh. Charming little place.
11. Emiliano's
Mostly, it's great. The
desserts always get a high five. They are outstanding. I recommend the
Sundowner's Special from 5 to 7pm: Two for One Sangria and discounted tapas.
Sometimes there's live music. I notice there is an over abundance of garlic in
some of the dishes. Tone it down a little, I say. And I love garlic. The scallops civiche used to be
better years ago. I think they switched from the larger more difficult to find
sea scallops to the smaller sea scallops. The art on the walls is magnificent.
Great new restaurant design and ambiance. I hear wonderful things about their
Sunday brunch. The Pialla is awesome. The artichokes are divine. I recommend
the Paella and for lunch, & the Atlantic Salmon with a curiously sweet
bianito mash and perfectly cooked asparagus!
Tom's Top 3 Gainesville Restaurants That Think
They're
Great, but Aren't
1. Tapas 12 West
Okay, it's been a long
time since I've been here. They're still in business, doing lots of group
events. I don't see a lot of activity in the main dining room these days. I
gave them a pretty rough review, but that's over a year old. I really like
Steve. I think he's a talented Chef and a nice guy. This place just never
seemed to have it together after changing from Steve's Americain to Tapas 12
West. In fairness, I'm going to pop in during May of '09 and see if they
can't some up with something to impress me. Stay tuned. UPDATE (May 12, 2009): So I went back to give it another shot. I must say, I had a better experience, but it still doesn't rise to the level of a great Gainesville restaurant. My server was very enthusiastic, which made no difference regarding the lipstick from the lady or drag queen who last drank from the cup my scotch was served in. Good God Damn scotch, though! Steve wasn't there. They told me he only works one day a week because he's starting a new restaurant. If your name is on the sign, then that's a bad sign if you're rarely in the kitchen. Just ask Chef Marco Pierre White if you dare. OK, the food. I sampled three items.
1. Lemon-Rosemary Chicken Skewers
Chicken skewers marinated in olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary and garlic.
The skewers are served with a lemon-rosemary dipping sauce.
Comment: Nicely done chicken on a stick with some lemon-rosemary aoli. Plated on a nice rectangular dish, put a fucking piece of parsley on the lonely things. Drizzle some olive oil on the poor speared bird bits. Looked like cafeteria food. It was properly cooked though, moist, and with nice flavors. Boring, but tasty.
2. Baked, Stuffed Scallops on the Half Shell
Scallops on the half shell are topped with onions, peppers, bacon,
garlic and Parmesan cheese, then baked.
Best dish of the night. I thought they overcooked the scallops a tad, and by tad, I mean like 10 seconds. Great flavors, presented in their beautiful shells, this was the standout for me.
3. Mussels with Spinach and Chorizo
Mussels are sautéed with spinach, chorizo sausage, garlic, onions and white wine.
Also a nice dish. Not to be an asshole, but I like to have a mussel in each mussle shell. There's nothing so disappointing as pulling out a nice beautiful shell only to look into it and see a beautiful little empty cavern. When plating, kindly make sure there's a mussle in each shell. That's the kind of easy care and attention I hope for a restaurant, as it's not an unreasonable request. Having said that, the mussels were flavorful and not overdone.
I concluded my evening with the Red Sangria, which I had been told was made from scratch every day. They had a right big bucket of the stuff raring to go. Folks, the food is ok, nothing to get crazy about. But my God, this Sangria is the best in town, hands down. Go for the Sangria if for no better reason. It is outstanding!
Conclusion: It's nicely laid out in there, comfortable, with a beautiful bar and the chefs working in an open kitchen right in front of the patrons. Service was enthusiastic but scattershod. Food was all over the place. They were prepping food at the bar, for Christ's sake. Weird. So in a way, it's a bit of a mess in there. But now that the Chef isn't around so much and I felt no pretension, I had a much better experience this go-around. Good night, and good luck.
2. Thai
Fusion
I've never had anything good there. I keep hearing how
good they are, but I've seen no evidence of anything extraordinary. Once I
ordered egg rolls and they put them into a styrofoam container where they
melted into the plastic. Mmmm. Once I went in and sat in front of the waiter
and the chef for a half hour and they just sort of stared at me. Nobody
thought to ask if maybe I was in there for service or food. I ordered a lunch
once and the rice was weird tasting. So I don't know what to tell you. I
haven't really ever had anything happen to me at this restaurant that was
pleasant. I'll keep an open mind, but they won't be new for long so there will
be no excuse. UPDATE MARCH 2009. I WONDER WHY THEY HAVEN'T CLOSED
YET. UPDATE (May 12, 2009): THEY'RE CLOSED. BOY, DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING!
3. 101 Downtown Restaurant
and Martini Lounge
I would like this
restaurant to go under, and soon. Big on atmosphere and very very small on
food and service. I call it a fake restaurant. I ordered the Stuffed Lobster
(lobster is my favorite food) and it sucked, violating rule #1. My friend
ordered the duck, and it sucked too. We ate about a quarter of the food, and
later gave the rest to street people who declared it the best food they'd ever
had. My lobster tasted like freezer, the stuffing was boring and bland, it was
over-cooked, and the side dish of over-cooked over-salted rissoto looked like
a rice-crispy treat. Have you ever eaten over-cooked over-salted rissoto while
thinking of a rice-crispy treat? The results are perplexing. The duck was cold
and flavorless and poorly seasoned. The drinks sucked. They were served in the
wrong glasses. There were spots on the table service, the glasses, and the
plates. The words, 'I'm Sorry' were often uttered by our waiter. Many excuses.
Speaking of plating, it looked like Dr. Suess did the design. Pretentious,
silly plating. Ugly plating. The staff was beautiful to look at, and dumb as a
gaggle of chickens. They didn't know the food. They didn't know anything about
wine. There were inedible garnishes on the plate. I won't even provide a link
to to this stillborn failure. Went back on another visit and failed to enjoy
burnt sirloin tortillas, overcooked over-seasoned lamb presented on a nest of
fried crunchy inedible spaghetti. They killed the lamb and then slaughtered
it. I want to vomit when I'm there and I felt ripped off when they presented
the bill. Now we've covered all 6 rule violations. The head bartender's hair
is absurd. Looked like Phil Spector was working a side job. He thinks he's
amazing. He's not. Sadly, many young people think this fake restaurant is
great because it makes a fine night club. So I recommend they should stop
serving food, cut the bartender's hair, set up a DJ and reopen as a dance
club. I absolutely hate it as a restaurant, and will probably only return
against my will. UPDATE 4/20/09 Now has earned a place under The Poop
List. See this new review... at the bottom.
Tom's Top 4 Near Misses
1. Dragonfly Sushi Co.
Sushi means,
rice. If the rice isn't right, the Sushi isn't right. From there, it's the
freshness of the fish and other ingredients. Sometimes the rice is good here
and sometimes it isn't. The service during lunch is spotty. Some of the
presentations of certain items, like the seared beef appetizer, are weak.
The best time to go and get this place at the top of their game is ironically
when they're slammed busy. The service will surprise you and the food is
generally good during their peak serving hours. Reservations recommend towards
the weekends. Get the rice uniformly perfect and it follows all other problems
will iron themselves out. Love the atmosphere and the owners are very
personable fellows. Glad this is a home grown business and glad of its huge
success. I want to put it on the A list, but I just quite can't. UPDATE: DRAGONFLY SUSHI MUCH IMPROVED. I STILL DON'T SEE WHY IT
TAKES HALF AN HOUR TO GET A TO-GO SUSHI ROLL. IN CHICAGO, YOU WALK UP, SIT
DOWN, AND THE CHEF HAS ALREADY SENT YOU A FREE APPPETIZER. YOU ORDER YOUR ROLL
AND HE SLAPS IT TOGETHER ON THE FLY IN ABOUT A MINUTE, AND THAT'S WHEN THEY'RE
BUSY.
2. Liquid
Ginger
This is a great place for lunch. For
around 8 bucks, you can get sushi quality seared tuna, a salad, a spring roll,
rice and soup. Order it medium so you'll get it rare. If you order it rare, it
will be swimming. Dinners are uniformly good. Lunches vary from day to day.
Sometimes it's top notch, and other times, you feel like someone didn't put
their heart into it. Usually the service is good, not great, but I've had
several experiences waiting and looking around for someone to notice me. In
fact one time, I waited at the front desk watching my to-go food get cold for
11 and a half minutes before ANYONE appeared in the restaurant to help me. And
once, my friend and I arrived at 5 PM and waited at the locked front door for
over 20 minutes. Then we called. "What time do you open?" we asked. "5 PM,"
said the host. "Well then could you unlock the door so we can eat?" Tighten up
and fly right, and Liquid Ginger can easily move into the top spots.
It's getting better. The steak dinners rock. The
specials rock. I still think it's a bit over priced for dinner, but go
on 4 dollar martini night and make up the difference. Speaking of... I
had this wacky Martini: Tao-Tini. It sounds so gross... Stoli Vanilla, Sweet
& Sour, and brown sugar muddled with Thai basil. Let me tell you, this
thing made me hard. Order your steak Medium Rare, if you have any balls. Nice
work, LG! I may soon up the rating. UPDATE: 4/20/09 - Had a Ribeye recently
that was not a quality piece of meat. Was unusually tough, and this is not
their norm. Don't lose it, LG.
3.
Bistro 1245
"Gourmet Fare at Student
Prices". So they say. True for some items. Other items are just as priced as
the big fancy places. I have had some great things here. The fish sandwiches
are a winner! The lamb was pretty darn good. Mostly, the crab cakes are
winners... mostly. Avoid the beef filet. They don't know how to cook a fillet
as of my last visit. Sorry. And the quality of beef in that filet was not a
winner. The plating? Placing a fillet atop mashed garlic potatoes is a smushy
idea. The squash bisque is very highly recommended. The chefs tend to
over-season. Let the ingredients shine. Bistro is a good choice to taste
wine and share food in a casual environment.
4. Alessandro Ristorante
High end
classical Italian. The Lobster Francaise is to die for. Oh
oh, heard some things in a salon where I was getting my hair cut. Heard they
committed a cardinal sin: 'I'm sorry, we're out of olive oil.' Out of
olive oil in an Italian restaurant? This is still a rumor. I tentatively place
Alessandro Ristorante here on the near miss until I investigate. Havent been
there in like 2 years. NEW: I heard there's a new chef now (a punk-ass friend
of mine who shall go nameless for the moment) and he's known in Gainesville to
kick a considerable amount of high-quality food ass. This is exciting news.
I'm due for another go. Stay tuned.
15 Food Related
Gainesville Experiences You Must Try
1. Louis'
Lunch
Wonderfully weird hamburgers. They fry
them in oil. Brilliant milkshakes.
2. Wise's Drug Store and Soda Fountain
In honor of this great legendary soda fountain that closed during
trying times in the US economy, this listing shall remain. Gainesville shall
forever miss you, Wise's Drug Store Soda Fountain. You were so cool and
wonderfully old-school.
3. Chopstix
Food, from so-so to rough.
The sushi frightens me. Service... eh. BUT THE VIEW!!!
4. Burrito Bros.
Classic Gainesville.
These burritos are ordered from all over the country. It's next to a church
now. God bless Burrito Bros.
5. The Melting Pot
Three hours of
bliss. Do everything; the bread, entree, salad, dessert. Use the Court Bullion
with dinner. They don't run the oil hot enough to properly fry. If you use the
oil, your fried food will be soggy and unhealthy. Court Bullion is the way to
go. Usually, there's enough food in one entree to satisfy two people if you do
the whole spread. Order one entree to share and save a buck or two. You will
lose your money here, but it will be worth it for a very special occasion.
6. Leonardo's 706 Brunch
Buffet
An international buffet with dozens and
dozens of home made items. Drink mimosas.
7. Gelato Company
A sinfully delicious
treat. The sandwiches are good too. The tuna salad is weird. Not bad...
weird.
8. Terra Nova
Catering
The best in vegan and vegetarian
items. The squash and Guerre pastry is astonishing.
9. Jenny
Cakes
Legendary. Diabetic coma, here I come.
New digs for Jenny, now in downtown Gainesville.
10. 2nd Street Bakery
OOPS! THE ECONOMY KILLED THIS PLACE, AMONG OTHER THINGS. WHO
WANTS TO BE IN THE 10 SPOT?
11. Wine & Cheese
Gallery
Beautiful little hidden treasure. Dine
outside. Order the cheese plate and wine. Sandwiches!
12. Adam's Rib Company
Best ribs in
Gainesville. It's all good here. Hell, it's almost biblical.
13. Tim &
Terry's
Groovy little music store with a porch.
Live music. Hippies, folk musicians, drunks, students. Awesome sandwiches.
Many vegetarian offerings. Cheap beer.
14. Mr. Han's
A work of art. Set in a
dark 1980s room with a Raymond Chandler noir. The freshest Chinese. Have Mr.
Han make you a Zombie. If you drink it all, as you exit he'll say, "Fly
low." UPDATE (May 12, 2009): I am very sad to report that Eric Han has passed away in an automobile accident. My condolences to his family and friends. I will miss him very much and I hope Mr. Han's restaurant, which serves some of the finest Chinese food to be found, will continue in his honor. Highly recommended!
15. Shooting Star Restaurant
Finally getting it's
legs, this Gainesville Sushi restaurant has implemented some welcome
changes, the first being that they're now open late. There are very few places
to get quality late night food. Shooting Star is often open into
the 1am plus hours, and their prices are surprisingly reasonable.
They have a Chicago-style vibe; DJ music in an open patio, a tank with
artificial white jellyfish gently floating on currents of water
which probably shouldn't be viewed on acid or heavy drink. Speaking of
drinks, a nice drink menu including a few choice Sake options, martinis, even
Absinthe, etc. Service remains variable, but Shooting Star has finally
found unique place in Gainesville cuisine and comes recommended at this
time, especially late night. I suggest you go with what your server
tells you is the best thing happening that
night. UPDATE (May 12, 2009): I had 5 sugar flies in my shot of Cuervo a couple nights ago. Sugar flies are a very annoying problem in the summer in Gainesville. Buy some little pour spout covers or something. They're freaking cheap. It's dark in there at night. Good thing I'm a bartender by trade, or I wouldn't have noticed. Don't let this little incident prevent you from going to Shooting Star though, especially on Friday nights when the wildest sushi/blues/folk/weirdness crowd decends to get drunk and crazy. It's a ride and a half.
And For
Drinks...
1. Stubbie's T-Shirt
Pub
Hide-away beer joint disguised as a T-Shirt
store. Only the finest beers here. Knowledgeable staff. Try beers you've never
tried. Ask for recommendations. I don't think anyone really buys the T-shirts.
Stubbie's and Stein's, a restaurant and drinking expansion of Stubbie's Shirt
Pub now lives next door with the same offerings, plus traditional German
offerings for dinner. Heard great things and have great expectations from
Stubbie's and Stein's.
2. Wine & Cheese
Gallery
Friday happy hour. Lively, friendly
& fun. Wine tastings on occasion. Go to them.
3. Lillian's
Happy Hour
Find Tom, the silver-haired well
dressed bartender and enjoy classic Gainesville and the absolutely BEST
martini you'll ever have in a casual setting. Smoking permitted... even
cigars.
4. Volta
Coffee Tea and Chocolate
Welcome to the neighborhood. I'm
thinking the best coffee in town here, because they care. Great chocolates,
desserts, quiche, but the focus is coffee and tea. The baristas here make the
Starbuck's baristas look like shit. Highly recommended!!! HEY COOL! NOW SERVING MACHA, THE TEA CEREMONY TEA! NOBODY ELSE
IS DOING THAT IN TOWN. NOBODY.
Special Mention...
1. Ivey's Grill
Slow service, extremely
crowded for a small place, and the best Eggs Benedict in Gainesville. A great
choice for breakfast.
2. Sun Center Kabob House
- 101 SE 2nd Place, Suite 114 - Next to the Hippodrome Theater
So new, they
don't have a web page yet. Here you will find 10 authentic straight forward no
nonsense Kabob dishes. They all are served with Tandoori bread (a Tandoor is a
clay oven - Tandoori means pertaining to the Tanadoor). The bread is perfect.
Chicken, lamb or beef elegantly seasoned in various ways, delicate aromatic
saffron basmati rice , and a small salad side with lettuce, shredded carrot,
onion, and tomato. The dish is complimented with a delicious yogurt
sauce. Get a couple extra. There's never enough of that good stuff. Most items
range from the $9 to $10 dollar range, but it's a good amount of food. If
I had any complaint, I'd like to see more done with the side salad. Maybe
don't chop the lettuce so fine and as I always say, would a piece of parsley
kill you? Having said that, the meat is absolutely top quality, prepared to
order, and only cooked properly and perfectly in the Tandoor or grilled. I
wish it much success. The staff and chef are delightful people. I recommend
the Pista Murg Tikka and the Lamb Kofta. There's no flash here. Just down to
business classic Indian kabob. UPDATE: New decorations and
expanded menu. I'm liking this place more every day.
Tom's
To-Do List
1. MT's Chophouse
2. Mildred's Big City
Food
3. Hell's Kitchen - A Division of Goddess Catering
Do you have a restaurant in Gainesville that you'd like me to review?
Mail to: millerworks@hotmail.com
GOSSIP: There's Mexican food coming to the place where the atrocious Thai Fusion used to be. As there is no Mexican food downtown that I'm aware of, this is a good omen. Cold Stone Ice Cream is coming in as a partner. I like their stuff, corporate though it may be. This may work if the food and service doesn't suck. Please recommend they read my rules at the top of the page for their best chance of success. stay tuned...
