The F&SN Critic picks films that he thinks do not deserve their enormous popularity or critical appeal. He is also aware that, yes, many readers will find this a better Top Ten than his actual Top Ten.
First, a movie that is NOT OVERRATED
March of the Penguins
Directed & written by Luc Jacquet - G
Why is it that this was the highest grossing film of 2005 when people could stay home for free and watch the same sort of stuff on PBS or pay a little extra and see something like it on cable? Because “March of the Penguins” is proof that the experience of watching celluloid in a movie theater is inherently different (dare I say superior?) to watching it on TV. And this is such a sweet, charming film, and even if it’s not as important or meaningful as “Munich” or “Syriana,” why shouldn’t it be the most popular movie of the year?
And now let’s get this party started right…with controversy!
#9 - Brokeback Mountain
Directed by Ang Lee - R
A fine film that I highly recommend and that actually appears in my Honorable Mentions. But still, by definition, not as good as all the hype.
# 8 - King Kong
Directed by Peter Jackson – PG13
Another good film that, no matter how hard critics and the industry pushed it, just was not quite the popular hit they said it would be. And, boy, does it ramble.
#7 – Junebug
Directed by Phil Morrison - R
Perhaps the definitive example of the kind of movie that ends and you say, “I can see why other people thought that was great.”
#6 - North Country
Directed by Niki Caro - R
A critical favorite but a commercial flop, so I guess it doesn’t really belong on this list. Either way you cut it, it’s a sanctimonious snoozer.
#5 - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
Directed & co-written by Andrews Adamson - PG
Nice effects, but halfway through this film it struck me like a ton of bricks: I don’t care about any of this nonsense.
#4 - Cinderella Man
Directed by Ron Howard – PG13
A great fight at the end, but only if you can sit through the first 100 mawkish minutes.
#3 - The Aristocrats
Directed by Paul Provenza - NR
90 ugly DV minutes of comics laughing at how funny they think they are. I kind of felt sorry for them.
#2 - A History of Violence
Directed & co-written by David Cronenberg - R
The most nothing movie of the year.
And the single most overpraised movie of 2005…
#1 - Crash
Directed & co-written by Paul Haggis - R
Two hours of people walking and lecturing each other, and, by default, the audience. Regardless of this movie’s ideas, they are simply not presented in a cinematic manner. Winner of the Oscar for Best Picture because 1) everyone in Los Angeles worked on it and 2) Hollywood is always striving to look relevant.
Three films about men whose treatment of women ranges somewhere from indifference to downright hatred.
Walk the Line
Directed by James Mangold – PG13
No one held back Johnny Cash more than his first wife. Except maybe Johnny Cash.
Brokeback Mountain
Directed by Ang Lee - R
In Ang Lee’s soulful and spare tale of a lifelong romance between two cowboys, it’s okay to diddle as many girls as you want—it’s only when you bring in another man that problems develop. Truly an examination of the Western, reminding me, as I write this, of that scene in “The Wild Bunch” when Generalissimo gave the guys their guns back when he found out they were only trying to shoot the whore out of his lap.
Hustle & Flow
Directed & written by Craig Brewer - R
Whoop that trick! Whoop that trick! Whoop that trick! “Djay, if you can’t use the lyrics ‘fuck that bitch,’ what would you rather say?” “How about ‘stomp that ho’?” A movie that teaches us it’s “Hard Out Here for a Pimp”—why don’t you try being one of your hoes, you selfish bastard?
On to the Top 17!!